Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Ripped from the headlines (from 2019), we've got a whopper of a theory from fan favorite and incredibly funny man Ronnie Adrian. Ronnie suspects that actually, beloved Empire actor Jussie Smollett was telling the truth all along about his Chicago attack! And actually the cops covered it up! And also that actually deep fake video technology was available way earlier than anyone thinks! Listen up because you're about to learn a thing or two about justice, fruit, America, Lori Lightfoot, and child actors.

Think drinking water is good for you? Think again sheeple! Our guest week is (the inexplicably unrepped) Sarah Bebb and she's got some thoughts on what's really going on with water purifiers. Namely that good ol reliable weirdly cheap Brita filters aren't doing JACK to actually filter toxins out of our water, and that the government's to blame. And also capitalism! We also cover other kinds of water filters, celebrity breakups, and Alexis comes up with three puns for the price of one! Then we talk about other water filters again.

Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in! A tiny microphone monitoring everyone's speech! This week Katelyn and Alexis have brought their own theories to the table once again. Alexis believes the 1960s CIA project "Acoustic Kitty" didn't actually fail and our pets may not be as innocent as we think. Plus, Katelyn's got a hot theory about allergies that is sure to make you sneeze! Katelyn thinks City Planners are working with the Masons to keep us SLEEPY and unable to riot by intentionally planting trees that keep our allergies FLOWING.

If you were alive in 2007 you remember that the most important news of the year wasn't the war in Iraq - it was Britney Spears shaving her head and having some weird vibes with the paparazzi. But maybe that's not because we're shallow, maybe it's because that's what THEY want us to believe! Podcast host and comedian Colin J Morris suspects that the Bush administration was using Brit as a sleeper agent to distract us from the government's failures, and tbh it kinda makes sense!

One new world order! Two new world orders! HA HA HA! This week we've got funniest man in the world Jonny Svarzbein in the Lizard Lair, with a theory that will either ruin your childhood or make perfect sense. Jonny suspects that The Count, beloved Sesame Street character, is actually a vampire who's killing kids and is also a member of the... ahem... "cosmopolitan elites". Could the beloved kids show character be just another blood libel? Is Santa actually Christian? Who's actually watching shows on Tubi? And why won't you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street??

Picture this - you're a pastor at an evangelical Christian mega church, and donations are slipping. What are you gonna do? Well if Mark McConville (one of the best comedy podcasters ever to do it) is correct, what you're gonna do is fake a scandal, jet off to 'rehab', then sell a redemption narrative so compelling that Jesus Christ himself would be like 'woah'. Yes Mark suspects that some of these ministers going down for drug and affair scandals are just cynically plotting to raise more money for the church. Listen in this week for a surprisingly heartfelt conversation about the intersection between religion and capitalism, then a bunch of hot new ideas for gender neutral nicknames.

It's the political scandal that everyone's talking about right now - ripped straight from the headlines! This week our good bud Sydney O'Toole is back on the podcast to explain every single detail about how the Jesuits and the Pope conspired to assassinate Abraham Lincoln. Sydney's got the inside scoop straight from Sunday school about how John Wilkes Boothe was put up to his devious theatrical machinations by the Roman Catholic Church. Plus Sydney also tells Alexis and Katelyn everything about 90's nu-metal, how to sell a washing machine, and exactly what heaven will be like.

Matt Apodaca is known for three things. Liking cats. Being a nice person who everyone in podcasting loves. And caring more about Weezer than anyone else on the planet. And would someone who loves Weezer that much lie about the truth about their front man Rivers Cuomo? Namely the truth that ol 'Poindexter' Cuomo is in fact famously dead rockstar Kurt Cobain? Matt says he wouldn't! Yes this week we're exploring the theory that Kurt faked his own death to found the world's most beloved nerd rock band. Finally, Alexis gets to talk about music she likes!

Hello to all of our Valentines! It's your old pals Katelyn and Alexis back with another lil episode! This week, Katelyn's got a hot theory about couples and marriage! While Alexis has a romantic take on the Glitter Conspiracy - finally solving the great mystery! Plus, a very good way to avoid intruisive thoughts and more!

You might not know Ivan Ngo. But you know who probably does? The commissioneer of Major League Baseball, Rob Manfred JR. See Ivan suspects that Rob's making certain suspicious calls that hurt the Dodgers, specificially to hurt Ivan's feelings. It's not a conspiracy theory if they're really out to get you! Get comfy and pour yourself a big bowl of Applejacks, because we learn a lot about baseball this episode, including: who has the funniest names, the names of the shoes they wear, who most reminds Ivan of his step-dad, and which stadium has the thinnest air.