So, I will readily admit that I was a bit naive when it came to the world of leather pageantry.

Obviously I knew that these leather competitions existed, and that they were loosely modelled on beauty pageants, but I kind of assumed that they weren't all that serious.

I just thought that people showed up, had a bit of a laugh, took a few pictures and then went home.

But, I was wrong.

And, I quickly learnt that when I sat down to talk about lost London space The Hoist with life coach and former stand up comedian John Pendal.

John also happens to be the International Mr Leather 2003, so you can rest assured he knows a thing or two about leather pageantry.

As well as excessive instances of me saying 'wow' you can expect to hear about John's sex spreadsheet, the effort he put in to preparing for the different categories of the pageant, and how he discovered his neurodiversity many years later.

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Website: https://www.leatherlondonguide.com

The lyric to that very famous 80s TV theme song is 'sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name'.

Whilst I think that's true I also think there are times where you want to go where nobody knows your name and where there's absolutely no risk of running in to anybody that you even vaguely know.

It's that type of space that gave this week's guest - scholar, therapist and host of the Gender Studies podcast Alex Iantaffi - the courage to actually go through the front door and start to explore their queerness for the first time.

And so, in this episode, Alex takes us back to the 90s and sits us down in a corner seat in London's First Out Cafe to show us the magical, open, friendly space that made them feel welcome.

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Podcast: https://episodes.fm/1353717550

Are you one of those people that has a crystal clear memory of where they were and how they reacted when they found out about momentous moments in history?

For instance, do you remember where you were on September 11?

When you first heard of the Covid-19 outbreak?

Most importantly, do you remember the first time you heard Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ being played in the club?

Well, if that final momentous (momentous!) occasion resonates with you then i think you’ll get a kick out of this week’s chat with fashion designer (and contestant on the reality show Sew Fierce) Terrence O'Brian Henderson, who is taking us on a journey to Club Odyssey in Lexington, North Carolina.

Terrence tells me how Club Odyssey helped him rediscover his love of dance, explore his gender expression, and learn to move past some of the negative preconceptions about queerness that were instilled in him growing up.

We talked about the art of not giving a fuck, the dedication needed to learn Beyoncé choreography (it's really hard!), and the perils of wearing non-stretch pants while dropping it low (I think you know how that story ends).

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I was gutted, understandably, when I found out earlier this year that my favourite queer bar, The Glory, was going to close.

But I also had a bunch of questions, as it wasn't closing for the same reason that so many others do (£££). In fact, the owners opened a brand new venue, The Divine, within days of The Glory closing its door.

So I needed to find out more...

Luckily, I got to sit down with one of the bar's owners, John Sizzle, just a few weeks after the space had closed to find out all the answers directly.

Why did The Glory close?

What was the decision?

And, crucially, how difficult was that decision to make?

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Key words: queer bar, business, LGBTQ+, HIV, coming out, queer scene, drag, bullying, uniqueness, resilience, queer venue, cozy spaces

If you were trying to seduce someone in the audience when you were performing at a piano bar or at karaoke... what song would you sing?

I imagine you'd go for something slinky and sexy, right? Or maybe something bombastic and exuding confidence?

Well, not, it turns out, if you are this week's guest, the singer and story teller Richard Skipper, who went a decidedly different route...

But, I'm going to leave that mystery hanging, and you can find out what his go-to song was when you listen to the episode.

This week we caught up to talk about the Five Oaks, a piano bar in New York City.

Richard shares memories of the vibrant community that existed there in the 1980s and 1990s, as well as how the AIDS crisis and a serial killer tragically impacted the scene.

London folks! Richard has a show at Crazy Coqs on August 5th 2024. In it he will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the stage show Hello Dolly, performing all of the hits and reflecting on the legacy of this iconic Broadway musical. More details can be found on the Crazy Coqs website.

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One of the things that I get asked a lot when people find out that I do this show is 'well, why are queer spaces important? bars and clubs close all the time, why should we care about them just because they're queer?'.

And there are lots of answers to that, but the one that I keep coming back to is that they aren't just businesses - they're community hubs, they're late-night befriending services, and they are places where people get to explore and push themselves.

And it was wonderful to be reminded of all of that in this week's conversation (which is our first ever episode focussed on a lost space in New Zealand!).

I got to talk to Edward Cowley, who you may know by his drag alter-ego Buckwheat, about The Staircase, a legendary space (or, spaces, rather, as it moved to a few different venues over its time) in Auckland where Edward first started going when he was underage and before homosexuality was even legal in the country.

It was here that he first found his tribe, started drag, and shook his thing on the dancefloor.

In fact, he has such an affinity to the space that he even went on to be a co-owner - and, as co-owner he made sure that the space was more than just a business, but a community hub.

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It's time to talk all about the fine art of ho-ing.

And who is going to guide us through this very important lesson?

Why, it's Mehgan Sapphire, host of the Sapphire's Earplay podcast.

Mehgan joined me to talk about her lost space, The Lexington, a San Franciscan lesbian bar that she went to when she was just a little baby gay in her college days.

Along the way we discuss late night hook ups, the road to polyamory, and, of course, the importance of good hygiene...

And once you've listened to this conversation make sure you also download this week's episode of Mehgan's show, Sapphire's Earplay, as we did a swap-a-roo and I am the guest on the latest episode!

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San Francisco in the 80s.

If you know anything about queer history then you may already know that that wasn't the most joyous of times.

And, yet, despite that... despite all that was happening in the world - heightened homophobia, and the really real fear of contracting HIV - people got on with their lives and they found and made joy.

And that is exactly what happened for promoter and party producer Daniel Nardicio, who arrived there as a young man escaping small-town Ohio.

For him San Francisco represents a period of self-discovery and self-actualisation, and there are lots of joyous memories from that time when he was finding his feet and his voice.

We caught up to talk about his early days in the city, wiling away the hours at the lost space Cafe Flore with his best friend (who you may know as the cabaret superstar Justin Vivian Bond).

It was a place where they could nurse a coffee, read books, and occasionally snoop through other people's diaries (but you’ll have to listen to the episode to find out more about that).

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Website: ⁠https://www.danielsbigideas.com/

One of the constant gifts of doing this show is the reminder of how privileged those of us who get to grow old are. 

It’s easy to forget this in a world saturated with messages glorifying youth, but youth isn't always that great (sure, I still have crippling social anxiety, but I'm MUCH better at masking it now!). 

So, getting the chance to talk to people who say, "I'm so glad I'm not the person I was at 20, 30, 40," is refreshing. 

They still love the person they were, but they aren't in a hurry to go back to that time.

This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with the artist and photographer Holly Revell. 

Holly spent much of their 20s and 30s as a self-described "f*g hag", always ready to party surrounded by a gaggle of gays. 

But, now, looking back, they appreciate that part of their life but recognise they've outgrown the person they were.

We initially came together to talk about London's Black Cap, but our conversation went in many different directions. 

You know it just goes that way sometimes, right?

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Website: https://www.hollyrevell.co.uk/

I don't know about you, but I really like the idea of being referred to as a gay elder at some point in the future.

The only part about it that worries me is that I hope I'm not expected to suddenly be wise or level-headed or clever or anything...

And though this week's guest, Eric Marcus from the Making Gay History podcast, might not like being referred to as a gay elder, he's certainly got the credentials to bear this title.

You probably already know about the Making Gay History podcast, but just in case you didn't it's an oral history podcast that explores different parts of queer history, like the AIDS crisis or growing up gay in the 70s.

In fact, the new season is celebrating the 55th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, by exploring the myth of what that's become, and sharing stories from people who were actually there. 

But, anyway, before he was a podcast host and before he was a gay geezer he was a baby gay in New York City.

And it was here that he had an adventure or two on the dancefloors of the gay bars in Manhattan. One of which was the wonderfully named Ice Palace, which we discuss in this conversation.

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Making Gay History Website: https://makinggayhistory.org/

Some of the topics we cover: