LOVE IS FEARLESS

In this special episode of LOVE IS FEARLESS, Janet and Doug are joined by Sarah Boyd—author, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of Resilient Little Hearts. Sarah's new book, Turn Down the Noise, offers a much-needed guide to raising emotionally healthy kids in today's overstimulated world. This warm, insightful conversation explores the realities families face and the hope available when we slow down, simplify, and create a safe emotional atmosphere at home. You're in the Right Place If…

• You feel caught between wanting to slow down and fearing what will happen if you do.
• You've seen big emotions or challenging behaviors in your child and wondered, "Is this anxiety… or are we all just overwhelmed?"
• You've ever felt like the pace of modern life is stealing the peace in your home—or wondered why your child's emotions feel so big (or yours so close to the surface).

Conversation Takeaways -

• Overstimulation is not a parenting failure—it's a cultural reality. But it's not inevitable. We can shape environments that help our children thrive.
• Emotional maturity in children begins with emotional safety—and safety begins with us. Slowing down is not weakness; it's wisdom.
• Simplifying our home rhythms isn't about doing less—it's about doing what matters most: creating space for connection, rest, and delight. The emotional atmosphere of our home doesn't have to feed the chaos. Home can become a place of healing.

Resources & Links Mentioned

• 🌐 Sarah's Website – Resilient Little Hearts
• 📘 Preorder Sarah's new book – Turn Down the Noise
• 📕 Children's Book – The Boy Who Stood Up Tall

Follow Sarah Boyd -

• Instagram: @resilientlittlehearts
• Facebook: Resilient Little Hearts

Explore More from John 15 Academy

• Read the Manifesto
• Dive into the eBook
• Stay tuned for our upcoming family and church curriculum!

📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch Together, there is great hope.

What if your parenting struggles aren't about strategy—but about the story your family is living? In this episode, Janet introduces The Three Doors—a simple but powerful framework that reveals how the emotional and spiritual atmosphere of your home helps conform or transform the people your children become. Whether you're stuck in survival, exhausted from striving, or longing for something more—this conversation will give you hope, clarity, and practical next steps. We're not managing behavior—we're building a culture where transformation grows. 🔑 You're in the Right Place If...

• You've tried every parenting strategy and still feel like you're falling short.
• Your home feels either too tense or too checked out—and you're craving connection.
• You long for grace-based parenting but don't know how to make it practical.

You'll Learn:

• The 3 "story environments" families live in (and how to tell which one you're in)
• Why language is the fertilizer of transformation
• How to create a home where identity grows stronger than fear

📌 3 Key Takeaways

1. Every family is living in a story—but not every story leads to transformation. What story are you building?
2. The emotional and relational atmosphere of your home speaks louder than your rules.
3. You don't have to create a new story alone—transformation begins by walking through the door that's already open.

🙌 Final Invitation Today, Jesus isn't asking you to try harder—He's inviting you to step into a free life where transformation grows, not from pressure, but from grace. Your home can be a place where shame loses its grip, and love makes you whole. 🟢 Read the free manifesto 🟢 Visit john15academy.com for articles, podcast episodes, and resources 🟢 Start a conversation about bringing this message to your church or small group 🟢 Partner with us—your gift helps more families walk into Door #3📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch Together, there is great hope. New boost

Episode Summary: Parenting is exhausting—but what if the struggle isn't because you're doing it wrong, but because you're aiming at the wrong target? In this episode, we unpack the story of an Olympic athlete who hit the bullseye—but lost everything because he was aiming at the wrong lane. This powerful analogy helps parents recognize how our culture trains us to aim at compliance instead of wholeness—and why that's a costly misalignment. If parenting feels like a constant battle to "get it right," this episode will help you reframe your target and find a path that leads to peace, connection, and lasting transformation. You're in the Right Place If... ✔ You feel exhausted trying to get your kids to listen and obey. ✔ You wonder why your best efforts still lead to tension at home. ✔ You're looking for a way to parent that brings peace, not pressure. Key Takeaways: 🎯 The Target Determines Everything – If we aim at compliance, we might get short-term results but miss long-term maturity. The right target is wholeness through transformation. 💨 Stress Shrinks Perspective – When we're overwhelmed, we default to control. But pressure and compliance don't create maturity—they hijack it. 🌱 Maturity happens through trust, not control. Read More & Continue the Conversation 🔗 Related Articles: 📖 Struggling in the Kingdom vs. the Upside-Down World – How your response to struggle shapes everything. 📖 Transformational vs. Transactional Relationships – Why parenting is about more than "just getting kids to behave." 📖 The Way of Jesus vs. The Way of the World – The parenting shift that changes everything. 🎧 Listen to Past Episodes:

• Episode #153: Why We Struggle With Struggle—3 Steps to Strengthen Emotional Resilience

Take the Next Step: 💡 Pause and reflect. Where am I aiming? Am I focusing on behavior or cultivating a secure connection? 📝 Journal Prompt – Where does stress cause me to default to control? What small shift can I make today to trust God in my parenting? 🎙 Share Your Thoughts! – Leave us a review or share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement. 📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch

Struggle isn't the enemy, but how we navigate it can either weaken or strengthen our families. In this episode of Love Is Fearless, we're tackling a fundamental shift that can change everything about the way we experience challenges at home and beyond. The world teaches us to fear struggle, to fix it, avoid it, or control it. But the kingdom of God offers a completely different way forward—one that leads to peace, connection, and resilience instead of exhaustion and shame. Today, we're diving into the power of relational terrain—the unseen atmosphere of trust, connection, and security that determines whether struggle will make us stronger or wear us down. 🔑 In this episode, we explore: 1️⃣ Struggle isn't the real problem—fear, isolation, and shame are. It's not the struggle itself that harms us; it's how we respond to it. In the kingdom, struggle is an invitation to growth, not a reason for guilt. 2️⃣ Your home's relational terrain shapes how your family navigates struggle. When kids feel safe, seen, and connected, they develop resilience. But when fear, control, or performance shape the home, struggle feels like a crisis instead of a place to grow. 3️⃣ 3 Steps to Strengthen Your Family's Relational Immune System:

• The Habit of a Greeting: Simple, daily connection reinforces identity and worth.
• Technology-Free Zones: Choosing where and when we abide in real connection shapes what fills our minds and hearts.
• The Habit of a Good Night: Ending the day with peace and presence strengthens security instead of fueling performance anxiety.

🚀 Key Takeaways: 💡 "Struggle doesn't mean you're failing—it means you're growing." 💡 "You don't have to control every challenge. You just need to build a home where love, truth, and security hold steady when struggle comes." 💡 "The terrain of your relationships determines whether struggle strengthens you or breaks you." 📖 Great Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 📚 Education by Design, Not Default – Janet Newberry's book on transformation through relationships, rhythms, and learning in freedom. 📚 Atomic Habits – James Clear's groundbreaking book on how small, intentional habits create lasting change. 📚 Sacred Attachment – Michael Cusick's wisdom on healing and transformation through secure relationships. 📚 The Connected Life – Dr. Todd Hall's guide to relational spirituality and why love changes everything. 💌 Stay Connected & Keep Growing Sign up for The Curated Life, your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family. As a subscriber, you'll get: ✅ Early updates on Janet's upcoming e-book, church curriculum, and speaking events ✅ Encouraging blog posts and resources for your family's journey ✅ Exclusive access to download the Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family manifesto for free Join us at john15academy.com and step into a new way of family-ing. 💙 If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and leave a review! Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and kingdom parenting. 🙏 Thank you for listening! You were made for a beautiful life—you don't have to settle for less.

In this special episode of the Love Is Fearless podcast, we're excited to launch something deeply personal and transformative—our manifesto: "Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family." These aren't just words on a page; they're an invitation to reimagine what's possible for your family. 🔑 In this episode, we discuss five key ideas from the manifesto: 1. Great parents are first great children. Before you can lead your family well, you have to embrace your identity as a child of God. Parenting isn't just about what you do—it's about who you are in Him. 2. You can't give what you haven't received. If you want your kids to live free from fear and shame, you have to learn to live that way yourself. Healthy parenting starts with your own transformation. 3. Quick fixes don't last. Behavior management tricks might work for a while, but eventually, they backfire—on you or your child. Real change happens at the heart level, not through shortcuts. 4. Worth is a gift, not a goal. You'll never give your best self to your family if you're too busy trying to prove your value. Your worth isn't something you earn—it's something you receive. 5. Jesus offers what self-reliance never can. Trying to control your kids won't bring peace. Surrendering them to Jesus will. True safety isn't a tighter grip. It's trusting Jesus. 🚀 Key Takeaways:

• "The problem isn't you—it's the story you've been handed."
• "Parents were never meant to carry the weight of shame—and our kids weren't meant to inherit it."
• "The Kingdom of God is at hand, and that changes everything."

📥 Download the manifesto to start transformative conversations in your marriage, small group, or church community. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don't have to settle for less. 💙 Find more great resources mentioned in this episode:

• Joshua Gordon - LazarusBooks.com - Senior Editor at theleadpastor.com
• #041: If I don't manipulate — How do I Get My Kids to Do the Right Thing Part 1
• #042: If I don't manipulate — How do I Get My Kids to Do the Right Thing Part 2

Visit john15academy.com to sign up for The Curated Life—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family. As a subscriber, you'll get:

• Early updates on Janet's upcoming e-book, church curriculum, and speaking events
• Encouraging blog posts and resources for your family's journey
• Access to download the Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family manifesto for free

Our work at John 15 Academy is made possible by generous supporters. If you'd like to join our support team, we'd be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope. 🙏 Thank You for Listening!

What if family wasn't meant to be about striving but about abiding? For generations, we've been taught that good parenting means controlling outcomes, managing behavior, and setting our kids up for success. But what if that approach isn't working? Today, we unveiled something deeply personal: our manifesto, Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family. This isn't just a collection of words—it's a call to reimagine what's possible for your family. It's a rallying cry to turn away from fear, shame, and transactional living and step into the freedom of abiding in God's love. 🔹 You're in the right place if… ✔️ You're tired of carrying the invisible weight of parenting shame and wondering if there's a better way. ✔️ You've tried behavior management strategies, but deep down, you know your family needs more than quick fixes. ✔️ You're ready to believe that the Kingdom of God isn't just for someday—it's for your family, right here and now. 🔥 The Problem: We Were Never Meant to Carry This Weight 👉 Our children are not okay—but neither are parents. We live in an upside-down world where stress, anxiety, and shame are the norm. Parents panic over misbehavior, not just because they want what's best for their children, but because their struggles expose something deeper—the shame we carry, too. 🛑 But what if shame was never ours to carry? 🌿 What if the Kingdom of God really is at hand—and that changes everything about how we love and lead our families? 🌱 A New Path Forward: Abiding, Not Striving Jesus didn't come to improve our striving—He came to end it. He came to restore us to the Father, to remind us that we don't have to prove our worth or fight for love. In the Kingdom, our identity is received, not achieved. 💡 What's Possible: More Than Just an Above-Average Life Most families settle for survival—or maybe an "above-average" life. But Jesus promised more: 🕊️ A home where love isn't earned, but given freely. 🔄 A family culture where transformation is the norm, not the exception. 💖 A life where shame no longer holds us hostage, because Jesus carried it to the cross. ✨ A Kingdom Invitation Imagine a family where: 🏡 Your home is a place of peace, not performance. 🪨 You rely on God's presence, not your own capacity. 🌿 You experience the beauty of family as God intended. This is the lost art of being family. Together, there is great hope. 📥 Download the Manifesto 🚀 Final Takeaways ✔️ The problem isn't you—it's the story you've been handed. ✔️ Parents were never meant to carry the weight of shame—and our kids weren't meant to inherit it. ✔️ The Kingdom of God is at hand, and that changes everything. 💙 You were made for a beautiful life. You don't have to settle for less. 📖 Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 📚 Education by Design, Not Default – Janet Newberry 📚 Atomic Habits – James Clear 📚 Sacred Attachment – Michael Cusick 📚 The Connected Life – Dr. Todd Hall Visit john15academy.com and sign up for The Curated Life newsletter—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family in your own home. You'll also receive early updates about Janet's upcoming e-book, church curriculum development, and opportunities to hear Janet speak. Each edition points to insightful blog posts you might have missed and offers encouragement for your journey. The Curated Life will keep you informed whether you want to attend an event or invite Janet to your church or community. This podcast and our work at John 15 Academy are made possible by generous donors and a supportive community. If you'd like to be part of our financial support team, we'd be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope. 🙏 Thank you for listening. We'd love to hear how this episode resonates with you—share your reflections and tag us! 👀 Next Episode Teaser: We'll dive deeper into how these ideas change everyday family life. Subscribe to the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast on your favorite podcast provider and stay tuned!

If you've been going to church for a very long time, you probably think "abiding" is something you do - and you don't have time for one more thing! Join us in this conversation to be reminded that abiding is NOT what you may think:

• It doesn't need to happen at a specific time.
• There is no need for a "secret place" - at least not in your house.
• It's not about checking "read my Bible" off your to-do list.
• It's not about praying because you think you're supposed to.
• It's not your bid to connect with Jesus.

Good news! Abiding is a gift you receive, not a task you complete. It means being with Jesus in your mind and body instead of alone in your thoughts. It's a way of being with yourself that feels secure instead of insecure because you are not alone—and you're not powerless. The eight benefits you'll hear us discuss in this episode cannot be bought on Amazon, and you can't DIY these blessings either. The best part is that these benefits will change your life in the way of transformation instead of conformity. Transformation is a miracle we can't stop when we're with someone who loves us and gives us the gift of deep peace. Jesus is always available to be that Someone. In this episode, Doug and Janet walk you through a meaningful meditation that offers an abiding experience and shows you how simple it is. If this episode gives you permission to risk an abiding life, check out Janet's blog at john15academy.com. Find the post How To Abide - It's Not What You Think to discover a free PDF of Scripture references and a few journaling prompts. Listen now to discover eight benefits of abiding and the power of these takeaways: 1️⃣ Striving keeps us stuck in survival mode, but abiding brings peace, security, and real connection—first with Jesus, then in our families. We don't have to earn what God freely gives. 2️⃣ Abiding isn't just another thing to add to your to-do list. It's a way of being—living from a secure connection with Jesus, where love, wisdom, and peace flow naturally. 3️⃣ The benefits of abiding—like deep love, wisdom beyond our own, and true rest—can't be bought, earned, or manufactured. They're gifts we receive when we stop striving and trust that Jesus is enough. Check out this previous episode, too: #120 - Why Survival Mode May Be Killing Your Relationships Visit john15academy.com and sign up for The Curated Life newsletter—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family in your own home. You'll also receive early updates about Janet's upcoming e-book, church curriculum development, and opportunities to hear Janet speak. Each edition points to insightful blog posts you might have missed and offers encouragement for your journey. The Curated Life will keep you informed whether you want to attend an event or invite Janet to your church or community. As a subscriber, you'll be the first to know when Janet's Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family Manifesto is published—and you'll get exclusive access to download it for free. This podcast and our work at John 15 Academy are made possible by generous donors and a supportive community. If you'd like to be part of our financial support team, we'd be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope.

Joshua Gordon is a son, brother, husband to Sarah, dad to five children, lay pastor, author, and Senior Editor of theleadpastor.com. We're grateful that Joshua agreed to share a dad's response to the challenges of living in an economy of love. In our previous episode (#148), we challenged parents with these questions:

• If the kingdom of God is at hand, what's really changed in our homes?
• If the law is love now, what's different?
• If I trust the finished work of Jesus for my secure identity, how does that change my relationship with God? How does that change my relationship with myself? And with you?

In this episode, Joshua Gordon admits we can be triggered when our children respond to us with an attitude instead of respect. Join us in this priceless and vulnerable conversation about navigating our emotions and personal narratives so that the child and our family benefit from the frustrating interaction instead of allowing it to weaken the relational fabric in our home. In our conversation with Joshua, we found wisdom and help for moving forward when our kids are disrespectful by discovering that many of our children's problems today:

• The books on our shelves don't have answers because they were written several years ago, and our culture is changing quickly. We can find the answers to these problems in conversations with God and others who rely on God in their own stories. We can also help our children listen to God and receive His help.
• Many of our children's problems are really invitations from God to abide with Him because they have roots in our own unresolved issues.
• Our children's problems are, in some ways, gifts that require us to ask, "Is my desperation or dependence on Jesus driving my response to this parenting crisis?" Then, we get to talk to God about why we depend on something less than our true identity (and our security with Him) when emotions get messy and problems are real.

Visit john15academy.com and sign up for The Curated Life newsletter—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family in your own home. Each edition points to insightful blog posts you might have missed and offers encouragement for your journey. As a subscriber, you'll be the first to know when Janet's Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family Manifesto is published—and you'll get exclusive access to download it for free. You'll also receive early updates about Janet's upcoming e-book, our church curriculum in development, and opportunities to hear Janet speak. The Curated Life will keep you informed whether you want to attend an event or invite Janet to your church or community. This podcast and our work at John 15 Academy are made possible by generous donors and a supportive community. If you'd like to be part of our financial support team, we'd be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope.

Welcome to Season Six: Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family. This first episode of the new year is dedicated to the letter T in The Curated Life episode. In it, we discover what love has to do with tension, transformation, and trust. Have you ever played with the nuances of a new life in Christ? Ask yourselves:

• If the kingdom of God is at hand, what's really changed?
• If the law is love now, what's different?
• Since Jesus finished the work and made me righteous, how can I let that truth change my relationship with myself? How does that change my relationship with God and you?

The design for our human stories works with the law but isn't powered by it. Sometimes, in legalistic families, we get distracted and never discover our God-given identity. In homes that don't believe the government is on God's shoulders, we don't find our unique purpose in the world either. We may spend our lives doing many good things without experiencing the fulfillment we're created to enjoy in an economy of love. Linger in these takeaways and share this episode with a friend:

• In this world, we will have tension. Everything is not yet the way it's supposed to be - and we will add the power of love or the power of fear to the places in our stories where life feels out of control. Fear is an inflammatory response. Love is an anti-inflammatory.
• Transformation doesn't happen the way conformity does. We've spent a long time learning to conform to the law and missing out on the transformation love offers. We don't have to keep putting new wine in old wineskins—especially not at home.
• When we add love to our experiences of tension, we begin to notice new changes that look more like transformation than conformity. This is the power of an environment of trust. Trust is the soil that offers the air of safety. Safety to fail - and recover without shame, so we can help the people who trust us recover without shame, too.

Visit john15academy.com and sign up for THE CURATED LIFE newsletter. This year, it arrives only once a month, but it will point you to blog posts you might have missed about how you can restore the lost art of family in your own home. You'll be the first to hear the big news when the Restoring the Lost Art of Being family Manifesto Janet is writing is published, and you can download it for free. And, you'll be the first to get the news about a new e-book coming soon, news about a curriculum we're writing for churches who want to help restore the lost art of being family in their communities, find out where Janet is speaking this year, or connect with her about speaking to your church or community. Please join us on this mission. We can't restore the lost art of being family by working in isolation. That would be the old way, not the way of flourishing in an economy of love. We are a donor-supported podcast and a community-supported non-profit. We'd be delighted for you to join our financial support team. Together, there is great hope.

In this end-of-year episode, we're reflecting on our journey, celebrating the present, and looking ahead at 2025 with gratitude and hope. Join us to hear some of our favorite transformation stories from 2024 and our clarified vision for 2025. You're in the right place if...

1. You believe growing pains are worth it because they mean you're maturing into who God created you to be.
2. You're looking for hope and encouragement as you embrace transformation in your family and life.
3. You want to celebrate the moments when God's clarity shines through, even on a winding road.

At John 15 Academy, we're embracing the mission of Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family. We envision families where love bridges the gap between our worst fears about ourselves and God's vision for who we're created to be. In 2025, we're narrowing our focus to deepen our impact by creating a curriculum for churches and consulting with non-profits. Our goal is to help families embrace the transformation that love offers, moving beyond the fear-driven pursuit of 'measuring up' to a life of authentic growth and connection. Please prayerfully consider giving generously to our end-of-year giving campaign and help us meet our goal of raising $50,000 to help us pursue this meaningful work. Takeaways from this episode:

1. Growth often comes with growing pains, but those moments of discomfort are signs that you're growing into the person God created you to be - and who He already sees you to be.
2. Clarity comes through surrender—trust God with your journey, and He'll lead you to a clearer, more meaningful path.
3. The future is full of hope when we lean into transformational relationships that reflect God's love and truth.

Enjoy these popular LOVE IS FEARLESS episodes, mentioned in our conversation today - #76 - Why Integrity Matters with Scott Morrison #86 - Why Love is the Only Weapon Against Self-Sabotage with John Lynch DON'T FORGET—We have merchandise! You can find so many possibilities by visiting the LOVE IS FEARLESS collection on dicksonthreads.com.