"I’m recognizing that transformation is not possible in an achievement-oriented culture, it is only possible in an identity-oriented culture. When achievement is the goal, our identity will come from our accomplishments, and we'll live fueled by the power of fear. Shame will be the voice we hear. Fear conforms, not transforms." "When we put new theology - even the theology of love, into a culture identified by accomplishments and success, fear will be the fuel we run on. Our children will recognize the voice of Shame more than the voice of Love. Love can help our children make good grades on tests and hit home runs, but if the primary goal of our connection with our kids is to help them achieve, they will not transform. They will conform."   Join Janet and Doug as they start a new conversation, blending the wisdom of The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, MD, and Living Fearless by Jamie Winship.  Linger in these TAKEAWAYS - 

• There is no shame in the kingdom of God. Jesus took our shame on the cross. The voice of shame isn’t heard when living in our true identity. When we hear the voice of shame, our community helps us listen to the voice of Love.
• Shame may move us up the ladder in an achievement-obsessed culture, but it will make us sick in ways that medical advancements can’t cure. When fear is the fuel we run on, we introduce an auto-immune disease into our narratives. The only cure is Love.
• In God’s kingdom, longevity isn’t the goal. We’re not consumed with the target of survival of the fittest, and we don’t have time to waste consuming only what we can earn. Receiving the truth that we are formed in our mother’s womb with the purpose of bringing goodness and beauty to the story of a world in need of redemption - not simply more success, wakes us up in a new worldview, listening to a new voice. 

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people hear the voice of Love! Together, there is great hope.

The inner voice of Love always speaks the liberating truth of God - but our worldly development has programmed us to tune into another voice. We’re more familiar with the voice of fear. We’re more familiar with our own truth than God's truth. This episode is for you if: 

• You’re more familiar with the voice of fear and shame than you are with the voice of love and truth. You know well the language of condemnation, cutting sarcasm, blame, control, and manipulation - but it sounds weird and very uncomfortable when you hear affirmation, encouragement, or simply a compliment.
• Most of your conversations are transactional - not transformational, or you don’t know the difference between the two. 
• You learned to talk in the dialect of self-promotion and self-protection - or you prefer not to talk at all because staying disconnected from others doesn’t require you to risk connecting with yourself. 
• Or you prefer to talk a lot because you have enough verbal resources to overwhelm almost anyone, and getting the last word in is the best you can hope for.

Join Doug and Janet in a conversation that blends the wisdom of two books - The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom by Henri Nouwen, and Living Fearless - Exchanging The Lies of The World For The LIberating Truth of God by Jamie Winship.  Linger in these takeaways - 

• In God’s kingdom, our thoughts and our plans are the only places we find lack. There is no lack in the Kingdom of God.
• Wrong beliefs render us powerless. God’s truth for our lives comes with God’s power to live out that truth.
• The best part about new life may be that we can hear the voice of Love. Sometimes, we need others who can hear Him on our behalf. When I am afraid, transformational relationships offer me an identity beyond the only reality I can see while I’m stuck in survival mode.

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people hear the voice of Love! Enjoy this gift from The Piano Guys. Together, there is great hope.

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if -

• You’re curious about building a different lifestyle to help you heal or restore a relationship because when you stop to think about it, the lifestyle you’re living is based on cultural values, and those values are not helping you enjoy healthy relationships. 
• You’re starting a new relationship. You’re ready to admit that you don’t treat people who are struggling with kindness and empathy - and that’s a sign that you don’t really like yourself very much. You are sitting with the idea that seeing yourself differently will help you see others differently.
• You’re good at fighting, controlling, manipulating, staying quiet, not rocking the boat, avoiding conflict…you may also be experiencing worldly success…but your relationships are struggling…even your relationship with yourself. 

In this episode, Doug and Janet start a new conversation about Trust For Today - 365 Days of Encouragement, A Year With the Trueface Team. We discuss how reading good books together gives us a word bank that pulls us out of survival mode into thriving mode. One of the distinct differences in our relationship is the conversations we share - specifically, what we talk about…and that we talk a lot!    We both needed to be seen and heard because we’d lived in survival mode for a long time. No wonder God built this new foundation for communication in our marriage. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS -

• Survival mode will offer you a lifestyle. It will keep you busy. It may keep your house clean. It may keep your kids on the honor roll and going to church. But it will not benefit your relationships. Only love is a benefit to relationships. Not success. Love happens in a different part of your brain, and we connect with that part when we connect with each other.
• Survival mode is meant to keep us not dead. It’s not meant to bring us to life. 
• We are created to thrive. Thriving is different from being perfect. When perfection is the goal, we get stuck in survival mode, afraid of messing up. When life is a struggle, connect with God and others…and experience all the bells and whistles of a whole new brain…and new relationships that teach you to like yourself because they don’t freak out when you struggle.

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people fear less because their finding LOVE! Together, there is great hope.

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if - 

• Conflict is killing you. You’re seeing a pattern in your relationships, even with yourself. Whenever there’s a disagreement, the result is deconstruction instead of constructive. 
• You know you have a new identity in Christ. You know the theology of grace. You know your new focus in life is love instead of avoiding sin. But when you’re honest with yourself, your story goes around in the same cyclical protection patterns when life is difficult - and you feel stuck.
• You’re confused about what to do with your emotions. You’ve lived for decades either letting emotions overwhelm you and everyone else in your story - or you’ve lived that long avoiding your emotions, which has only given your body one choice for dealing with other’s emotions, and that’s to avoid them, too. Neither choice is helping you grow - or helping your relationships grow. 

In this episode, Doug and Janet start a new conversation about a great book - The Advantage - Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business by Patrick Lencioni. Doug and Janet talk about writing a playbook for yourself and your family because creating clarity in your home can help your family grow instead of survive - or divide. We also share the playbooks we use for John 15 Academy, and this LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast - to guide our decisions and help us work smart while staying organizationally healthy. Janet offers to share her personal playbook when you sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - 

1. Seth Godin reminds us, “Every belief can feel mainstream if we immerse ourselves in it.” Don’t fall for the belief that relationships don’t heal or that living in a deconstruction crisis is the only option for your marriage or family. Healing happens when you move closer together and return to the power and truth love offers instead of fear.
2. Clarity at home is KEY. It’s as essential as clarity about your own identity. Without a family identity and clarity about your values and goals, every crisis can destroy unity instead of building it. 
3. John 15 Academy offers valuable resources to help families bring up children who explicitly and implicitly know that God is a Father who cares. Getting clear about God helps us all get clear about ourselves and others. Visit our website to benefit from all we offer. 

Janet also shares this invitation - "Reach out if I can help your family find the clarity that helps you grow closer in hard times instead of falling apart. I have limited spots available on my consulting calendar. Send me an email today. [email protected] " Visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people fear less because their finding LOVE! Together, there is great hope.

Difficult days can go from bad to worse when we forget emotions are intended to be our friends instead of our enemies. When we live as if emotions are our enemies, we try to control them or pretend they don't exist. When we engage with emotions as our friends, we notice and listen to them. Valuing our emotions for the information they give us, we discover our core values and deep desires. We learn to pause and consider how to move forward in the direction of our goals instead of staying stuck in our self-protection patterns. In this episode, Doug and Janet enjoy an energetic conversation with author, speaker, podcaster, and Licensed Professional Counselor Michelle Nietert. We're starting a conversation about Managing Your Emojis - 100 Devotions For Navigating Your Feelings, a new book Michelle co-authored with Lynn Cowell. Listen now to benefit from Michelle's generous wisdom and sense of humor and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - 

• Managing our emotions is challenging. But the emotions we feel are energy in motion, and we can meet the challenge with the help of God and others. When emotions remind us to connect with secure relationships, emotions are an onramp to maturity instead of chaos. 
• What we think often affects what we feel, and how we feel often affects what we do. Our mind, heart, and body are all connected. 
• We can discover ways to train our brains so they can help us manage our emotions - just like we can train our brains to learn math facts. Training our brains to focus on God’s promises can help us, over time, learn to replace feelings of sadness, fear, and anger with hopefulness, bravery, and calmness. 

Resources mentioned in this episode -  Check out our new LOVE IS FEARLESS styles on dicksonthreads.com. Reminding ourselves about God’s promises is the reason we’ve created LOVE IS FEARLESS merch! Sign up for Janet's newsletter THE CURATED LIFE. Discover valuable resources for parents and educators at John 15 Academy. Connect with Michelle at YourMentalHealthCoach.com and find links to purchase ALL her great books.

Season 4 of the LIF podcast is all about starting new conversations. We’re leaning in instead of leaning away from fresh perspectives…even if they seem to lead us away from the traditional life and lifestyle we’ve worked to achieve for so long.    We’re willing to admit that sometimes we experience peace before we experience success.   We’re discovering that living loved really is different from living afraid, that saying NO is as much an option as saying YES, and we literally feel different in our own bodies and our own stories when we’re benefitting from love instead of motivated by the fear of missing out.  In this episode, we're starting a new conversation about The Ascent of a Leader - How Ordinary Relationships Develop Extraordinary Character by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and Kevin McElrath. We're talking about becoming a healthy leader and discerning healthy leadership under which you can align yourself and grow, instead of simply showing up and making it work.  Listen in as we describe the CAPACITY and CHARACTER ladders, and linger in these TAKEAWAYS--

• Living loved is a synonym for God’s plan for your life. Living afraid is a synonym for the enemy's plan for your life. 
• “God’s plan could mean stepping up to a challenge. It could mean stepping down. But each step brings us closer to our destiny if it leads to greater love for God and others. Whether our sphere of influence is small or large, the possibilities remain the same. We can watch our motives transform from selfishness to selflessness. We can submit to the Master’s loving hand, becoming what we need to become for the benefit of others and our world.” (p. 179)
• “In the course you have set for your life, how are you providing for the safety of those you influence? As you look over your shoulder, who is in the wake of your influence and how are they doing?” (p.12)

Do you need encouragement to live a fearless story, not a perfect life? Enjoy LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts, posters, kitchen towels, canvas bags, and stickers to inspire yourself and those you love. Visit the Janet Newberry collection at dicksonthreads.com Stay inspired by signing up for THE CURATED LIFE - A Fresh Take on Living Loved. You'll receive Janet's newsletter delivered to your inbox twice a month. Find daily inspiration on social media -  janet_newberry on IG and Janet Newberry, Author on Facebook.  Together, there is great hope.

Join us in this episode as we dig deep into a new conversation about The Connected Life, by Todd W. Hall. This week, we're talking about the power of love that changes everything, especially when we begin to experience God as a safe and secure Father, rather than a distant and threatening judge. In his book, Todd Hall tells about a man diagnosed with schizophrenia who is now functioning well and has a fulfilling life, due in large part to the power of loving connection to overcome genetic vulnerabilities. "Though genetics and medication certainly play a role, they are not the only factors that contribute to our well-being. Connection is also a major factor because we are born to connect." (p. 84) Does this amazing story offer us a fresh perspective on Romans 12:2? What if being conformed to the patterns of this world happens when we're disconnected in our relationships, and being transformed by the renewing of your mind happens when we trust that we have a secure connection with a good, good Father?  Join us in this transformative new conversation and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - 

1. When we live in a world with fewer and fewer face-to-face connections, we lose the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness - so we lose the ability to influence and impact each other with the power of love, even though we can still make people do what we want by manipulating them or shaming them. Receiving love requires a relationship of trust. Being pushed around by fear happens without trustworthiness.
2. Walking on a healing journey with a spouse or a few close friends is not always easy, but it is deep and life-giving. Belonging, meaning, and creating real value in the world together is more satisfying than individualism, materialism, or another attempt at rebellion.
3. “It turns out that social disconnection has a profound impact on our experiences with God and spiritual community. The connection crisis we’re experiencing at a broader societal level reverberates throughout our spiritual lives.” p. 21, The Connected Life

Do you need encouragement to live a fearless story, not a perfect life? Enjoy LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts, posters, kitchen towels, canvas bags, and stickers to inspire yourself and those you love. Visit the Janet Newberry collection at dicksonthreads.com Stay inspired by signing up for THE CURATED LIFE - A Fresh Take on Living Loved. You'll receive Janet's newsletter delivered to your inbox twice a month. Find daily inspiration on social media -  janet_newberry on IG and Janet Newberry, Author on Facebook.  Together, there is great hope.

The connection crisis in our culture is running parallel to the mental illness epidemic in our world - for us and for our children. The crisis is more than what we see when we notice families sharing a table while all staring at their phones. Connection is not a personal preference or a check off on our to-do list. It's a human need. Without it, we get sick. The real crisis started more than a generation before smartphones kidnapped our attention and we didn't bother to fight our captors. For all of us, the challenge to connect in healthy relationships began before we were born. By the time we learned to talk, we'd already been following a blueprint for relationships, for better or worse. Psychologists call these blueprints "attachment styles." Insecure attachment styles have more power over what we choose to ignore or obey than the rules we know but don't follow. There's not enough behavior modification or willpower to revise an insecure attachment style, but love can do what hard work and self-effort can't. Love can help us find the limiting beliefs hidden in our earliest stories and teach us to tell ourselves truer stories - of freedom, not captivity.  Listen in as Doug and Janet start a new conversation about Todd W. Hall's book, The Connected Life - The Art and Science of Relational Spirituality.  TAKEAWAYS:

• Are we offering our children a life Jesus set them free from? What is the impact on their stories? 
• Love is the stuff of connection, growth, healing, and transformation. Fear is the stuff of disconnection, prolonged immaturity, mental and physical illness, and conformity. A “Love Is Fearless Home” is a goal worthy to be your family’s rallying cry.  
• Connect with us to plan a John 15 Academy retreat for your small group. We’ll sit with you in new conversations about the connection crisis in our culture and the healing love offers in your home. We’ll balance comfort and challenge in new conversations that help you find the limiting beliefs standing in the way of your family’s healing story. Email us at [email protected] or [email protected]. 

We mention these resources in this episode: Education by Design, Not Default - How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning by Janet Newberry The Gift In You - Discovering New Life Through Hidden Gifts In Your Mind by Dr. Caroline Leaf Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

LOVE IS FEARLESS is having a birthday! Born on July 4, 2018, LIF has been downloaded in over 60 countries and is transforming families worldwide. Share this episode to help us celebrate! In this Season 4 episode sharing new conversations about transformational books, Doug and Janet talk about Education by Design, Not Default - and the power of connection in childhood.  As parents, we teach our children how they should be treated - for better or worse. Then our children teach others how to treat them, using the blueprint we've given them. If we teach our children we don't have time or energy for their emotions, they will learn that lesson in relation to themselves - and teach others their emotions are not worthy of time and energy. When children experience secure, transformational relationships, it's possible to develop a healthy brain and nervous system. But when children experience disconnected, transactional relationships, children are required to cope, simply to succeed. Coping causes adaptations that, long term, can lead to mental illness.   Janet's book gives parents and educators practical ideas about how to enjoy transformational relationships and where to start with both younger and older children. Doug and Janet leave listeners with many inspirational ideas and these TAKEAWAYS:

• Transformation is not the same as success, measured by traditional standards. Transformation is internal and success is external.
• "If those we trust meet our real needs, we'll grow strong because we trust their direction and correction. If those we trust don't meet our real needs, we'll grow older, but not more satisfied." (p. 52, Education by Design)  
• Our children's primary need is to experience love, not success. Love will mature them, and can help them be successful - in healthy relationships, not at the expense of them." (p. 12, Education by Design)

We mention these resources: 

• Visit one of the parent paths on john15academy.com to download a free book study guide for you and your spouse or small group.
• LOVE IS FEARLESS merch!!! Thanks to our partnership with Jana Dickson, a portion of the proceeds from the LOVE IS FEARLESS - JANET NEWBERRY Collection will benefit John 15 Academy. 
• John 15 Academy - We help families live in transformational relationships so children can live loved instead of afraid. Please visit our website to find abundant resources available at no charge. Please pray about becoming a part of our financial support team. 
• THE CURATED LIFE - A Fresh Take On Living Loved - Subscribe to Janet's newsletter to get merch discount coupons only available to subscribers!

Together, there is great hope.

Dan Herod is known for starting conversations we didn’t know we needed to have. Gifted with an uncommon path in life, he writes and speaks to empower.   Born to a deaf father and surviving the aching wake of his parent’s divorce prepared him for the most crushing loss a parent can meet. He knows that a soul that screams heavenward in frustration about their situation can discover how hope sometimes lives between the lines. His newest release, The Three Mile Valley is a book and video series that equips the reader to live better by thinking better - with God's help. Join us in this new conversation about life and loss. Learn more about Youth Alive and connect with Dan on IG and FB.    Doug and I offer these TAKEAWAYS from today's conversation- 

• What you see is not what you get. What you see is what you get through. Now is not forever.
• Create a strategy for tragedy. Start with a strategy for everyday challenges. Be sure to start with God when creating your strategy.
• Your tragedy is not your identity.

We mention these resources: 

• LOVE IS FEARLESS merch!!! Thanks to our partnership with Jana Dickson, a portion of the proceeds from the LOVE IS FEARLESS - JANET NEWBERRY Collection will benefit John 15 Academy. 
• John 15 Academy - We help families live in transformational relationships so children can live loved instead of afraid. Please visit our website to find abundant resources available at no charge. Please pray about becoming a part of our financial support team. 
• THE CURATED LIFE - A Fresh Take On Living Loved - Subscribe to Janet's newsletter to get merch discount coupons only available to subscribers!

Together, there is great hope.