LOVE IS FEARLESS

Welcome to Season Five! We're calling this season "The Curated Life - A Fresh Take on Living Loved" because we're all at a real fork in the road. It's a brand new year. Which direction will you go? How will you curate your story? We only have two choices and it's often not what we think. We're not looking at a new year, hoping that more good choices and less bad choices will finally tip the scales in our favor. No matter what our culture keeps telling us, conforming to the patterns of this world will never lead us to the deepest desires of our hearts. Even if you're tempted to pursue the traditional resolutions of more exercise and less overeating, you're not going to wake up one day excited to get out of bed and embrace the day if the best you've got to guide you is a list of how many minutes you need to keep your heart rate up and how many calories is your limit. The new life we're invited to celebrate because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus won't fit in the patterns of this world because the patterns of this world teach us how to live and move and succeed and fail in a culture of fear, not a culture of love. Join Janet and Doug and they begin a season of community-wide storywork and an invitation for you to risk a relationship with God as your narrative therapist. This year's challenge for all of us is to embrace our stories as curators and cartographers, combining theological and neurological discoveries with personal life experiences to create a map out of fear stories into the land of love stories. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

• The CURATED LIFE alphabet teaches you to read the label on the culture in your home, your child's school, your church, and your community so you can recognize artificial ingredients that are teaching us all to live a life Jesus set us free from. We don't need to look too closely to see the catastrophic impact on our stories.
• The CURATED LIFE alphabet is also a list of essential ingredients for participating with God as your own narrative therapist to build a culture of love. These ingredients offer fresh energy, connection, and safety that automatically clean out and restock the pantry of your habits, rhythms, and routines.
• The CURATED LIFE alphabet is not a list of laws, resolutions, and rules. The alphabet is about the atmosphere you breathe in, the rhythms you create, and the relationships and ideas you trust.

It's not just a tagline - together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE at janetnewberry.com. Also, shop fun merch from the LOVE IS FEARLESS collection to find t-shirts, hoodies, kitchen towels, posters, and more. Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with John 15 Academy.

We're starting a new conversation about helping our children live loved instead of afraid. You're in the right place if:

• Your child is experiencing a lot of success - but your relationship with your child is struggling. The distance between you keeps getting bigger and bigger - and you're more convinced than ever that putting one foot in front of the other on the familiar path you've been walking is going to offer any relief. Your relationship needs something transformative.
• Your child is rebelling. They're getting in trouble at school and stay in trouble at home. You've tried punishment. You've tried second chances and third chances and more chances than you can count and there's not enough chances, it seems, to change the outcome. You need more than relief. You need help.
• Your home is beyond busy. Honestly, it feels like chaos. Some days, you wonder if staying busy has become a coping mechanism because when you're not rushing from one activity to another, you notice that everyone's just going through the motions but not really alive. It's painful…so you sign up for one more vacation, one more sport, one more private lesson. This is the good life, right? Who has time to wonder? Go, team!

Listen in as Doug and Janet share three practical ideas that help children build a secure nervous system even while experiencing insecure circumstances. Help us celebrate 25 episodes in 2023 with these TAKEAWAYS -

1. John 15 Academy needs your support. We're helping more and more parents experience more and more security in their relationships with God and others. When parents' stories move from insecure to secure, our children have great hope. Please prayerfully consider donating generously to John 15 Academy.
2. Our kids need safe relationships with secure adults who are courageous enough to say, "Stop. Don't go that way anymore. Walk this way." at the same time they're saying, "Haven't you done this enough by yourself?"
3. We help families find their narrative. We look together at their story and find the subplots that are written in fear instead of love. Together, we move through the steps of asking God to speak truth to the lies we're telling ourselves because we're afraid - and then we help parents and children learn to follow the voice of Love. We help children build more than success stories - we help children build secure stories.

Together, there is great hope.

• Reach out if you're hungry to participate with love instead of fear in your own story. We'd love to walk with you beyond the fork in the road. Email [email protected] or [email protected].
• Follow this link to contribute to John 15 Academy's end-of-year giving campaign and help Doug and Janet meet the 2023 goal of $20,000.
• Visit this link for LOVE IS FEARLESS merch.
• Sign up for Janet's newsletter by visiting janetnewberry.com.

Did you know there is a formula for love stories and we're all living in one? If you haven't gotten to the part where love casts out your fears, your story's not over yet! That's good news! Even better...that's THE GOOD NEWS! You're in the right place if -

• You've given up on living a love story. If you were brutally honest, you don't even want a love story anymore. You've found a comfortable rut on the road of self-reliance and you've decided connecting with people is too complicated.
• You're afraid of a love story. You've risked loving other people more than once and it didn't end well. Letting others love you hasn't worked so well either. Fear is telling you that love is too risky and you've agreed with fear long enough to get comfortable living afraid.
• You're hungry for a love story - or at least a true story. Some parts of your story are so propped up with self-protection and self-promotion that you wonder if it might be easier to simply show up honestly in your story instead of hidden. You're curious about living in a secure story instead of an anxious one.

Listen in as Doug and Janet share both the formula for love stories and the great hope we have when life gets difficult. Every time we get to a place of suffering in our stories, we're invited to participate with Love, not fear. Our children do, too. We can help them build a secure story they don't have to rebuild when they're not kids anymore. Share this episode with a friend who needs the truths in these TAKEAWAYS:

• Many times in a crisis, having our felt needs met often opens our hearts to the truth that meets our real needs. That's one reason why we need people in our stories who know us well. They'll not rush in to insist we look too fast at the new path that will lead us out of the crisis. Instead, they'll remind us who God says we are by simply being with us and reminding us we are valuable, no matter what chapter we're on in our love stories.
• Jesus didn't say, "Come to me all who are crushing it, living your best life, and I will give you rest." He said, "Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest." Jesus knows where you are in your story. He's not freaked out by your progressive complications. The gospel is proof that He wants to hold your hand on a new road.
• So many times, we freak out about our problems. God knows freaking out only makes our problems worse because fear never puts us on the same road that the truth will point us to. That's why God is the safest place to run to when we're afraid because we're struggling. Having a safe place meets a vital felt need, and God's truth meets a real need, too. Many times, a miracle comes next.

Together, there is great hope.

• Reach out if you're hungry to participate with love instead of fear in your own story. We'd love to walk with you beyond the fork in the road. Email [email protected] or [email protected].
• Follow this link to contribute to John 15 Academy's end-of-year giving campaign and help Doug and Janet meet the 2023 goal of $20,000.
• Visit this link for LOVE IS FEARLESS merch.
• Sign up for Janet's newsletter by visiting janetnewberry.com.

Don't let the title of this episode fool you. You're in the right place if...

• ...you're tired. You're tired of your job, you're tired of the struggle that won't seem to end with your children (or your parents), and you're tired of the chaos in the world that gives you a million reasons to be afraid.
• ...you're curious. You've noticed on the days you take a break from the crazy cycle and go stare at a beach or hike in the mountains, there's still something inside of you that dares to be moved by inspiration. You're not dead yet, and you think you're ready to hope that there's more to life than earning and proving and power.
• ...you're healing. Maybe you've risked therapy. Maybe your therapist is helping you let go of lies and live in more truth. Maybe your hope muscle is getting stronger, and you're ready to experience more freedom.

Doug and Janet start a new conversation in this episode, weaving ideas together from Jamie Winship's book, LIVING FEARLESS, and Janet's book EDUCATION BY DESIGN, NOT DEFAULT. Listen in as they reveal the secret to living the power of truth and love instead of fear and lies, and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

• Schools - and families - are conditioned to promote those who learn without struggle and "wonder what to do with" those who do. But what if struggle is a gift rather than a red flag signaling a failure to perform? And what if performing a standardized task isn't the real goal? (EDUCATION BY DESIGN, NOT DEFAULT by Janet Newberry)
• How you frame your struggle will be how you respond and manage it because you create realities with your thoughts. (Dr. Caroline Leaf, social media)
• Identity is something that is received in community through our imagination from God. You don't come up with your own identity - you receive it in community from above. (identityexchange.com) "...all human conflict originates from fear, and fear originates from a false view of God, ourselves, and others."(LIVING FEARLESS, by Jamie Winship)

Follow Janet on Facebook and Instagram. Find fun LOVE IS FEARLESS merch and support John 15 Academy. Together, there is great hope.

"I'm recognizing that transformation is not possible in an achievement-oriented culture, it is only possible in an identity-oriented culture. When achievement is the goal, our identity will come from our accomplishments, and we'll live fueled by the power of fear. Shame will be the voice we hear. Fear conforms, not transforms." "When we put new theology - even the theology of love, into a culture identified by accomplishments and success, fear will be the fuel we run on. Our children will recognize the voice of Shame more than the voice of Love. Love can help our children make good grades on tests and hit home runs, but if the primary goal of our connection with our kids is to help them achieve, they will not transform. They will conform." Join Janet and Doug as they start a new conversation, blending the wisdom of The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, MD, and Living Fearless by Jamie Winship. Linger in these TAKEAWAYS -

• There is no shame in the kingdom of God. Jesus took our shame on the cross. The voice of shame isn't heard when living in our true identity. When we hear the voice of shame, our community helps us listen to the voice of Love.
• Shame may move us up the ladder in an achievement-obsessed culture, but it will make us sick in ways that medical advancements can't cure. When fear is the fuel we run on, we introduce an auto-immune disease into our narratives. The only cure is Love.
• In God's kingdom, longevity isn't the goal. We're not consumed with the target of survival of the fittest, and we don't have time to waste consuming only what we can earn. Receiving the truth that we are formed in our mother's womb with the purpose of bringing goodness and beauty to the story of a world in need of redemption - not simply more success, wakes us up in a new worldview, listening to a new voice.

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people hear the voice of Love! Together, there is great hope.

The inner voice of Love always speaks the liberating truth of God - but our worldly development has programmed us to tune into another voice. We're more familiar with the voice of fear. We're more familiar with our own truth than God's truth. This episode is for you if:

• You're more familiar with the voice of fear and shame than you are with the voice of love and truth. You know well the language of condemnation, cutting sarcasm, blame, control, and manipulation - but it sounds weird and very uncomfortable when you hear affirmation, encouragement, or simply a compliment.
• Most of your conversations are transactional - not transformational, or you don't know the difference between the two.
• You learned to talk in the dialect of self-promotion and self-protection - or you prefer not to talk at all because staying disconnected from others doesn't require you to risk connecting with yourself.
• Or you prefer to talk a lot because you have enough verbal resources to overwhelm almost anyone, and getting the last word in is the best you can hope for.

Join Doug and Janet in a conversation that blends the wisdom of two books - The Inner Voice of Love - A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom by Henri Nouwen, and Living Fearless - Exchanging The Lies of The World For The LIberating Truth of God by Jamie Winship. Linger in these takeaways -

• In God's kingdom, our thoughts and our plans are the only places we find lack. There is no lack in the Kingdom of God.
• Wrong beliefs render us powerless. God's truth for our lives comes with God's power to live out that truth.
• The best part about new life may be that we can hear the voice of Love. Sometimes, we need others who can hear Him on our behalf. When I am afraid, transformational relationships offer me an identity beyond the only reality I can see while I'm stuck in survival mode.

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people hear the voice of Love! Enjoy this gift from The Piano Guys. Together, there is great hope.

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if -

• You're curious about building a different lifestyle to help you heal or restore a relationship because when you stop to think about it, the lifestyle you're living is based on cultural values, and those values are not helping you enjoy healthy relationships.
• You're starting a new relationship. You're ready to admit that you don't treat people who are struggling with kindness and empathy - and that's a sign that you don't really like yourself very much. You are sitting with the idea that seeing yourself differently will help you see others differently.
• You're good at fighting, controlling, manipulating, staying quiet, not rocking the boat, avoiding conflict…you may also be experiencing worldly success…but your relationships are struggling…even your relationship with yourself.

In this episode, Doug and Janet start a new conversation about Trust For Today - 365 Days of Encouragement, A Year With the Trueface Team. We discuss how reading good books together gives us a word bank that pulls us out of survival mode into thriving mode. One of the distinct differences in our relationship is the conversations we share - specifically, what we talk about…and that we talk a lot! We both needed to be seen and heard because we'd lived in survival mode for a long time. No wonder God built this new foundation for communication in our marriage. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS -

• Survival mode will offer you a lifestyle. It will keep you busy. It may keep your house clean. It may keep your kids on the honor roll and going to church. But it will not benefit your relationships. Only love is a benefit to relationships. Not success. Love happens in a different part of your brain, and we connect with that part when we connect with each other.
• Survival mode is meant to keep us not dead. It's not meant to bring us to life.
• We are created to thrive. Thriving is different from being perfect. When perfection is the goal, we get stuck in survival mode, afraid of messing up. When life is a struggle, connect with God and others…and experience all the bells and whistles of a whole new brain…and new relationships that teach you to like yourself because they don't freak out when you struggle.

Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people fear less because their finding LOVE! Together, there is great hope.

This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if -

• Conflict is killing you. You're seeing a pattern in your relationships, even with yourself. Whenever there's a disagreement, the result is deconstruction instead of constructive.
• You know you have a new identity in Christ. You know the theology of grace. You know your new focus in life is love instead of avoiding sin. But when you're honest with yourself, your story goes around in the same cyclical protection patterns when life is difficult - and you feel stuck.
• You're confused about what to do with your emotions. You've lived for decades either letting emotions overwhelm you and everyone else in your story - or you've lived that long avoiding your emotions, which has only given your body one choice for dealing with other's emotions, and that's to avoid them, too. Neither choice is helping you grow - or helping your relationships grow.

In this episode, Doug and Janet start a new conversation about a great book - The Advantage - Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business by Patrick Lencioni. Doug and Janet talk about writing a playbook for yourself and your family because creating clarity in your home can help your family grow instead of survive - or divide. We also share the playbooks we use for John 15 Academy, and this LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast - to guide our decisions and help us work smart while staying organizationally healthy. Janet offers to share her personal playbook when you sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS -

1. Seth Godin reminds us, "Every belief can feel mainstream if we immerse ourselves in it." Don't fall for the belief that relationships don't heal or that living in a deconstruction crisis is the only option for your marriage or family. Healing happens when you move closer together and return to the power and truth love offers instead of fear.
2. Clarity at home is KEY. It's as essential as clarity about your own identity. Without a family identity and clarity about your values and goals, every crisis can destroy unity instead of building it.
3. John 15 Academy offers valuable resources to help families bring up children who explicitly and implicitly know that God is a Father who cares. Getting clear about God helps us all get clear about ourselves and others. Visit our website to benefit from all we offer.

Janet also shares this invitation - "Reach out if I can help your family find the clarity that helps you grow closer in hard times instead of falling apart. I have limited spots available on my consulting calendar. Send me an email today. [email protected] " Visit dicksonthreads.com to find LOVE IS FEARLESS hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people fear less because their finding LOVE! Together, there is great hope.

Difficult days can go from bad to worse when we forget emotions are intended to be our friends instead of our enemies. When we live as if emotions are our enemies, we try to control them or pretend they don't exist. When we engage with emotions as our friends, we notice and listen to them. Valuing our emotions for the information they give us, we discover our core values and deep desires. We learn to pause and consider how to move forward in the direction of our goals instead of staying stuck in our self-protection patterns. In this episode, Doug and Janet enjoy an energetic conversation with author, speaker, podcaster, and Licensed Professional Counselor Michelle Nietert. We're starting a conversation about Managing Your Emojis - 100 Devotions For Navigating Your Feelings, a new book Michelle co-authored with Lynn Cowell. Listen now to benefit from Michelle's generous wisdom and sense of humor and linger in these TAKEAWAYS -

• Managing our emotions is challenging. But the emotions we feel are energy in motion, and we can meet the challenge with the help of God and others. When emotions remind us to connect with secure relationships, emotions are an onramp to maturity instead of chaos.
• What we think often affects what we feel, and how we feel often affects what we do. Our mind, heart, and body are all connected.
• We can discover ways to train our brains so they can help us manage our emotions - just like we can train our brains to learn math facts. Training our brains to focus on God's promises can help us, over time, learn to replace feelings of sadness, fear, and anger with hopefulness, bravery, and calmness.

Resources mentioned in this episode - Check out our new LOVE IS FEARLESS styles on dicksonthreads.com. Reminding ourselves about God's promises is the reason we've created LOVE IS FEARLESS merch! Sign up for Janet's newsletter THE CURATED LIFE. Discover valuable resources for parents and educators at John 15 Academy. Connect with Michelle at YourMentalHealthCoach.com and find links to purchase ALL her great books.

Season 4 of the LIF podcast is all about starting new conversations. We're leaning in instead of leaning away from fresh perspectives…even if they seem to lead us away from the traditional life and lifestyle we've worked to achieve for so long. We're willing to admit that sometimes we experience peace before we experience success. We're discovering that living loved really is different from living afraid, that saying NO is as much an option as saying YES, and we literally feel different in our own bodies and our own stories when we're benefitting from love instead of motivated by the fear of missing out. In this episode, we're starting a new conversation about The Ascent of a Leader - How Ordinary Relationships Develop Extraordinary Character by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and Kevin McElrath. We're talking about becoming a healthy leader and discerning healthy leadership under which you can align yourself and grow, instead of simply showing up and making it work. Listen in as we describe the CAPACITY and CHARACTER ladders, and linger in these TAKEAWAYS--

• Living loved is a synonym for God's plan for your life. Living afraid is a synonym for the enemy's plan for your life.
• "God's plan could mean stepping up to a challenge. It could mean stepping down. But each step brings us closer to our destiny if it leads to greater love for God and others. Whether our sphere of influence is small or large, the possibilities remain the same. We can watch our motives transform from selfishness to selflessness. We can submit to the Master's loving hand, becoming what we need to become for the benefit of others and our world." (p. 179)
• "In the course you have set for your life, how are you providing for the safety of those you influence? As you look over your shoulder, who is in the wake of your influence and how are they doing?" (p.12)

Do you need encouragement to live a fearless story, not a perfect life? Enjoy LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts, posters, kitchen towels, canvas bags, and stickers to inspire yourself and those you love. Visit the Janet Newberry collection at dicksonthreads.com Stay inspired by signing up for THE CURATED LIFE - A Fresh Take on Living Loved. You'll receive Janet's newsletter delivered to your inbox twice a month. Find daily inspiration on social media - janet_newberry on IG and Janet Newberry, Author on Facebook. Together, there is great hope.