Love Lab MD with Dr. Kate Mangona

A Second Marriage Fairy Tale with Dr. Milene Argo

I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] with any questions, concerns, or suggestions!

Want a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love E-book/Workbook? → Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist and I will send it to you!

Want to work with me 1:1 to take your relationship to the next level? → sign up at https://www.medicinemarriageandmoney.com and click “I AM READY” for a free 60-minute introductory coaching consult! I will do the rest!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• When a spouse thinks “being on-call” is something we do for ourselves
• Going through divorce her last year of residency
• Her Mother’s anti-western-medicine beliefs and how this has affected their relationship
• Why she now “skips into work” to see her patients

Marriage: 

• Redefining “her type” and her definition of husband potential
• Falling in love with her personal trainer
• Knowing when to leave and when to stay

Money:

• Her new 2021 goal is to tackle personal finance!

Renewal:

• How her personal trainer Eric rescued her, his persistence, and their magical kiss
• Growing through the differences she had with her mother
• Choosing growth discomfort over stuck discomfort

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM Dr. Milene Argo

1. Sometimes we fall in love with someone we would never expect. If we are constantly looking for a certain type of person, we may miss the love of our life directly in front of our eyes AND maybe they are ALREADY married to us! 
2. Asking ourselves,  “Why would she/he say this to me?” Is NOT a helpful question. Instead, next time our spouse, mother-in-law, or friend says words to us, let’s ask ourselves instead, “What do I want to make that mean?” 
3. Making assumptions about what people are thinking is dangerous. AND then making assumptions about how other people are feeling is also dangerous! AND THEN making assumptions that other people's thoughts and feelings mean something about us is the MOST dangerous of all!!!! So next time we catch ourselves in this funny mind drama, let’s ask what we would rather spend our time and energy focusing on….someone else’s thoughts and feelings over which we have no control, or our own?

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• How do I tell my love story? Is it a fairy tale or a horror story?
• Do I allow myself to love me every day?
• Do I give myself credit for how far I’ve come?
• What are my main sources of motivation?
• Am I choosing the discomfort of growth or the discomfort of being stuck?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Website: https://thedoctor-coach.com/
• Facebook: Milene Juliao Argo
• Instagram: @thedoctor_coach

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/doc2doc

Today is the official first day of the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Program →  Our welcome call is tonight! If you are reading this and are wishing you would have signed up, please reach out to me now!

Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/group-coaching to sign up! Start arguing with your spouse less and spending more of your time planning vacations and investing in real estate with your love!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• “The talk” Senior Resident Dr. Rupa gave her future hubby during his first week as an ophthalmology resident and why he was scared of her!
• How the business consultant they hired to assess the ophthalmology practice influenced their family plan
• How owning and operating a private practice together every day works for them

Marriage: 

• Their first kiss out of nowhere on New Year’s Eve
• How they blended of 3 different cultures on their wedding day at a Hawaiian destination wedding
• How she invests in her marriage

Money:

• Why sitting down to do a 10-year plan helps a couple evaluate what is most important
• Why she bought her first Chanel purse at age 40
• Placing her value on her time

Social Media

• How and why she got started on Instagram
• Why the people you surround yourself will help you rise to the occasion
• What gave her the motivation and encouragement to create the virtual community she envisioned 

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM RUPA

1. Being a business owner could be the best financial opportunity for you and your family. Not only does this impact your finances if you set up a smart financial plan, but this also allows you to have a more flexible family life. Keep in mind, these opportunities do not arise at the most comfortable times. 
2. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Instead of telling yourself, I can’t do this, you will start saying “Why can’t I do this?”
3. You will find where you fit. “Never underestimate the power of a community of women who collaborate instead of competing.” The motto of her attending lounge. How this inspires Rupa on a daily basis. 
4. Hiring a cook and housekeeper is cheaper than a divorce attorney 
5. Do not let fear deter you from what you can truly achieve

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• How honest am I about what I want?
• Where do I go for inspiration on a daily basis?
• What are some more systems I can put into place in my household to avoid contention with my spouse?
• Am I open to uncomfortable opportunities?
• Do I have faith in myself?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Website: https://drrupawong.com/
• Facebook: @drrupawong
• Instagram: @drrupawong
• TikTok:@drrupawong
• Membership Site: https://www.attendinglounge.com/

*This show is a member of The Doctor Podcast Network

Sponsor: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/contractdiagnostics

call 888-574-5526 or [email protected]

Today is the official first day of the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Program →  Our welcome call is tonight! If you are reading this and are wishing you would have signed up, please reach out to me now!

Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/group-coaching to sign up! Start arguing with your spouse less and spending more of your time planning vacations and investing in real estate with your love!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• “The talk” Senior Resident Dr. Rupa gave her future hubby during his first week as an ophthalmology resident and why he was scared of her!
• How the business consultant they hired to assess the ophthalmology practice influenced their family plan
• How owning and operating a private practice together every day works for them

Marriage: 

• Their first kiss out of nowhere on New Year’s Eve
• How they blended of 3 different cultures on their wedding day at a Hawaiian destination wedding
• How she invests in her marriage

Money:

• Why sitting down to do a 10-year plan helps a couple evaluate what is most important
• Why she bought her first Chanel purse at age 40
• Placing her value on her time

Social Media

• How and why she got started on Instagram
• Why the people you surround yourself will help you rise to the occasion
• What gave her the motivation and encouragement to create the virtual community she envisioned 

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM RUPA

1. Being a business owner could be the best financial opportunity for you and your family. Not only does this impact your finances if you set up a smart financial plan, but this also allows you to have a more flexible family life. Keep in mind, these opportunities do not arise at the most comfortable times. 
2. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Instead of telling yourself, I can’t do this, you will start saying “Why can’t I do this?”
3. You will find where you fit. “Never underestimate the power of a community of women who collaborate instead of competing.” The motto of her attending lounge. How this inspires Rupa on a daily basis. 
4. Hiring a cook and housekeeper is cheaper than a divorce attorney 
5. Do not let fear deter you from what you can truly achieve

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• How honest am I about what I want?
• Where do I go for inspiration on a daily basis?
• What are some more systems I can put into place in my household to avoid contention with my spouse?
• Am I open to uncomfortable opportunities?
• Do I have faith in myself?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Website: https://drrupawong.com/
• Facebook: @drrupawong
• Instagram: @drrupawong
• TikTok:@drrupawong
• Membership Site: https://www.attendinglounge.com/

*This show is a member of The Doctor Podcast Network

Sponsor: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/contractdiagnostics

call 888-574-5526 or [email protected]

Enrollment is NOW OPEN for the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Program →  Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/group-coaching to sign up! Spots are limited!!! You do NOT want to miss this opportunity to enhance your marriage and ALL other relationships in your life!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• When she knew she wanted to be a physician
• How her time in the spent hospital during residency affected her first marriage
• Having a spouse who understands being “on-call”

Marriage: 

• Meeting on Match.com and a first date at Starbucks
• Falling in love with a generous heart
• Her thoughts when the marriage counselor told her SHE had things to work on

Money:

• How her spouse and her views on money are drastically different
• The ultimatum she gave her fiance regarding her financial goals

Divorce:

• Why the SAME premarital counseling questions she never completed during her first marriage, she did on her second marriage
• Getting married in 20s after medical school because “this is what you do”
• The biggest challenge in her first marriage
• The difference between focusing on oneself versus the ex during divorce

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM TRINA

1. When we think we are going to marriage counseling for our spouse (and not ourselves), things will NOT get better. We all have things to work on, so let us focus only on working on what we can control….OURSELVES.  What to find happiness, love, and appreciation in your marriage, find it on your own first.
2. Trina tells us NOT to ever feel stuck in a terrible relationship. If you can find joy and happiness on your own and feel constantly stuck in a horrible situation, reevaluate your reasons for staying. If the two of you have truly grown apart or were never right for each other in the first place, why stay in an unhealthy environment? Remaining in a terrible relationship (after working on oneself) is not more comfortable than leaving which may seem very uncomfortable. Which hurts more? Which has the potential to add more discomfort….staying in silence, resentment, or venturing out alone into the unknown….into a new world of possibilities. This being said, don’t leave in order to find happiness. Find happiness in yourself first...once you have found that, if the relationship in itself is lacking, give yourself permission to start from scratch
3. Although divorce is NEVER fun, there is life after divorce! Going through a divorce is like going through a period grief. It is a loss even if YOU are the one who chose to leave, but it can still be so much better on the other end after you allow yourself to heal. Shifting the focus onto healing yourself and away from making ex feel bad or regret their actions or inactions will cause the pain to subside at a more manageable level. Focus on healing. 

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• Do I have self-confidence? Do I look to my partner for confidence?
• What is the difference between self-confidence and confidence?
• Where do I go to find happiness? Inside myself or in my relationships?
• Is it better for me to stay or to go?
• Do I understand the money mindset of my spouse? If our views on money differ, how can I better understand their story?
• If and when I ever say goodbye to someone I have been in a relationship with, where is my focus on me or on them? On healing myself or on hurting them?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Website: https://revengebodyrevengelife.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenmovingbeyondcheatinganddivorce
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trinadorrah/

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/mrinsurance or contact him at 800-817-4522

Enrollment is NOW OPEN for the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Program →  Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/group-coaching to sign up! Spots are limited!!! You do NOT want to miss this opportunity to enhance your marriage and ALL other relationships in your life!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• When she knew she wanted to be a physician
• How her time in the spent hospital during residency affected her first marriage
• Having a spouse who understands being “on-call”

Marriage: 

• Meeting on Match.com and a first date at Starbucks
• Falling in love with a generous heart
• Her thoughts when the marriage counselor told her SHE had things to work on

Money:

• How her spouse and her views on money are drastically different
• The ultimatum she gave her fiance regarding her financial goals

Divorce:

• Why the SAME premarital counseling questions she never completed during her first marriage, she did on her second marriage
• Getting married in 20s after medical school because “this is what you do”
• The biggest challenge in her first marriage
• The difference between focusing on oneself versus the ex during divorce

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM TRINA

1. When we think we are going to marriage counseling for our spouse (and not ourselves), things will NOT get better. We all have things to work on, so let us focus only on working on what we can control….OURSELVES.  What to find happiness, love, and appreciation in your marriage, find it on your own first.
2. Trina tells us NOT to ever feel stuck in a terrible relationship. If you can find joy and happiness on your own and feel constantly stuck in a horrible situation, reevaluate your reasons for staying. If the two of you have truly grown apart or were never right for each other in the first place, why stay in an unhealthy environment? Remaining in a terrible relationship (after working on oneself) is not more comfortable than leaving which may seem very uncomfortable. Which hurts more? Which has the potential to add more discomfort….staying in silence, resentment, or venturing out alone into the unknown….into a new world of possibilities. This being said, don’t leave in order to find happiness. Find happiness in yourself first...once you have found that, if the relationship in itself is lacking, give yourself permission to start from scratch
3. Although divorce is NEVER fun, there is life after divorce! Going through a divorce is like going through a period grief. It is a loss even if YOU are the one who chose to leave, but it can still be so much better on the other end after you allow yourself to heal. Shifting the focus onto healing yourself and away from making ex feel bad or regret their actions or inactions will cause the pain to subside at a more manageable level. Focus on healing. 

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• Do I have self-confidence? Do I look to my partner for confidence?
• What is the difference between self-confidence and confidence?
• Where do I go to find happiness? Inside myself or in my relationships?
• Is it better for me to stay or to go?
• Do I understand the money mindset of my spouse? If our views on money differ, how can I better understand their story?
• If and when I ever say goodbye to someone I have been in a relationship with, where is my focus on me or on them? On healing myself or on hurting them?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Website: https://revengebodyrevengelife.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenmovingbeyondcheatinganddivorce
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trinadorrah/

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/mrinsurance or contact him at 800-817-4522

Want to join the FIVE-Day UNCONDITIONAL LOVE challenge? Participate in the fun at Medicine, Marriage, and Money Facebook Group and enter for a chance to win a FREE SCHOLARSHIP!

Want a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love E-book/Workbook? → Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist and I will send it to you!

Want to be on the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Waitlist? →  Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist now!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• Meeting for the first time in anatomy lab
• What it was like searching for a job in the same field
• Why Sanjay says “It really does get better” for the trainees

Marriage: 

• How to maintain open lines of communication while keeping judgment out of it
• Why learning how to fight with each other is key
• How Sanjay unknowingly spread the bread crumbs for Matt before the proposal

Money:

• How they maximized their travel dollars as residents
• How they handled the transition of income from residency to attending
• The differences between how they grew up and how they viewed their increase in salary

Surrogacy:

• The “hurry up and wait” process
• What the interview process for surrogacy looks like
• Keeping in contact with the surrogate 
• The mental energy involved in planning to have a surrogate
• What the relationship with their surrogate might look like after the birth

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM MATT AND SANJAY

1. We can always improve how we fight with our spouse. What we say and what our spouse hears may be significantly different. So let us slow down the argument. Figure out what our partner is hearing rather than continuing to push our side of the argument.  Sanjay also says to Keep judgment to ourselves and listen to what our partner is hearing. Keep an open mind and approach it from how can I show up as the best version of myself in this situation. 
2. If you are a trainee listening know that “It really does get better.” All those feelings of inadequacy and questions like “do I belong?” , “why am I doing this?”, and “is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life?” are NORMAL!!!!! A lot of trainees think these thoughts yet may not be expressing them out loud.  I would like to add if you feel this way now, reach out to someone you can confide in.  A mentor or close friend. We are not alone, my friends. 
3. Sanjay gave us a beautiful example of how we can all learn to be more responsible with money. Observe. Learn from those around you. He watched a close family member make more money than he could ever imagine and then lose it. Sanjay walks away from this with foresight and the determination to start planning for his retirement immediately after training if not during it. He could have chosen to perpetuate this cycle...done what those before him did….but he has decided to take control of his finances and prepare his family  What can you learn from those around you? 

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• How have I grown with my partner over the years?
• How has my love for my partner evolved over time?
• How has being with my partner during the pandemic been better than if I were to have been alone?
• Am I spending my income on things that bring me joy?

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: Michael at doctorpodcastnetwork.com/mrinsurance or contact him at 800-817-4522

Want to join the FIVE-Day UNCONDITIONAL LOVE challenge? Participate in the fun at Medicine, Marriage, and Money Facebook Group and enter for a chance to win a FREE SCHOLARSHIP!

Want a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love E-book/Workbook? → Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist and I will send it to you!

Want to be on the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Waitlist? →  Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist now!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• Meeting for the first time in anatomy lab
• What it was like searching for a job in the same field
• Why Sanjay says “It really does get better” for the trainees

Marriage: 

• How to maintain open lines of communication while keeping judgment out of it
• Why learning how to fight with each other is key
• How Sanjay unknowingly spread the bread crumbs for Matt before the proposal

Money:

• How they maximized their travel dollars as residents
• How they handled the transition of income from residency to attending
• The differences between how they grew up and how they viewed their increase in salary

Surrogacy:

• The “hurry up and wait” process
• What the interview process for surrogacy looks like
• Keeping in contact with the surrogate 
• The mental energy involved in planning to have a surrogate
• What the relationship with their surrogate might look like after the birth

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM MATT AND SANJAY

1. We can always improve how we fight with our spouse. What we say and what our spouse hears may be significantly different. So let us slow down the argument. Figure out what our partner is hearing rather than continuing to push our side of the argument.  Sanjay also says to Keep judgment to ourselves and listen to what our partner is hearing. Keep an open mind and approach it from how can I show up as the best version of myself in this situation. 
2. If you are a trainee listening know that “It really does get better.” All those feelings of inadequacy and questions like “do I belong?” , “why am I doing this?”, and “is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life?” are NORMAL!!!!! A lot of trainees think these thoughts yet may not be expressing them out loud.  I would like to add if you feel this way now, reach out to someone you can confide in.  A mentor or close friend. We are not alone, my friends. 
3. Sanjay gave us a beautiful example of how we can all learn to be more responsible with money. Observe. Learn from those around you. He watched a close family member make more money than he could ever imagine and then lose it. Sanjay walks away from this with foresight and the determination to start planning for his retirement immediately after training if not during it. He could have chosen to perpetuate this cycle...done what those before him did….but he has decided to take control of his finances and prepare his family  What can you learn from those around you? 

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• How have I grown with my partner over the years?
• How has my love for my partner evolved over time?
• How has being with my partner during the pandemic been better than if I were to have been alone?
• Am I spending my income on things that bring me joy?

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: Michael at doctorpodcastnetwork.com/mrinsurance or contact him at 800-817-4522

I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] with any questions, concerns, or suggestions!

Want a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love E-book/Workbook? → Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist and I will send it to you!

Want to be on the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Waitlist? →  Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist now!

Want to work with me 1:1 to take your relationship to the next level? → sign up at https://www.medicinemarriageandmoney.com and click “I AM READY” for a free 60-minute introductory coaching consult! I will do the rest!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• Eric’s plan to get noticed by Marcy at the bookstore and sharing a microscope
• How Eric broke his arm during medical school
• Why returning to medicine after the loss of Andy looked different for each of them

Marriage: 

• What Andy ate before marriage and why they likely got married so quickly
• How they supported each other through the grieving
• Supporting each others’ podcasts 

Money:

• Why we need to “Thank God for the accountant” and how this helped on Eric’s journey of healing
• Why we need to all have an emergency fund

Grief:

• Why accept the feelings during grieving
• How anger and guilt can become poisons
• Why forgiveness matters and how forgiving is so powerful 

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM THE LARSONS

1. Loss and grief are universal. We all experience some sort of loss and grief at some point in our lives. Whether we are going through the loss of a young child, an older child, a parent, or a spouse, it hurts. It is absolutely painful. It just feels wrong. There is no sense in comparing which experience or which loss is worse. We are all on our own journey and that is okay. We can still go through our own journey alongside the support and companionship of others. No need to compare. Just accept that it is hard. Be aware that this is normal.   
2. If we cannot forgive others, we have often not forgiven ourselves. 
3. Sometimes what is right for us is not right for our spouse. Our answers do not have to be everyone’s answers. This is normal. Once you accept this and learn to just be present and supportive in whatever way is needed, the pain may worsen. 
4. Telling our children they are enough.

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• Do I sincerely ask for forgiveness when it truly matters?
• How can I forgive myself when I need compassion and grace?
• How do I process grief?
• What does my emergency fund look like?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Eric’s Website: www.theparadocs.com  
• Marcy’s Website: www.andysmom.com
• Eric’s Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheParadocsShow 
• Marcy’s Facebook: www.facebook.com/alwaysandysmom
• Instagram: @alwaysandysmom @theparadocsshow
• Twitter: @theparadocsshow @alwaysandysmom

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/contractdiagnostics or 888-574-5526

I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] with any questions, concerns, or suggestions!

Want a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love E-book/Workbook? → Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist and I will send it to you!

Want to be on the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Waitlist? →  Visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist now!

Want to work with me 1:1 to take your relationship to the next level? → sign up at https://www.medicinemarriageandmoney.com and click “I AM READY” for a free 60-minute introductory coaching consult! I will do the rest!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• Eric’s plan to get noticed by Marcy at the bookstore and sharing a microscope
• How Eric broke his arm during medical school
• Why returning to medicine after the loss of Andy looked different for each of them

Marriage: 

• What Andy ate before marriage and why they likely got married so quickly
• How they supported each other through the grieving
• Supporting each others’ podcasts 

Money:

• Why we need to “Thank God for the accountant” and how this helped on Eric’s journey of healing
• Why we need to all have an emergency fund

Grief:

• Why accept the feelings during grieving
• How anger and guilt can become poisons
• Why forgiveness matters and how forgiving is so powerful 

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM THE LARSONS

1. Loss and grief are universal. We all experience some sort of loss and grief at some point in our lives. Whether we are going through the loss of a young child, an older child, a parent, or a spouse, it hurts. It is absolutely painful. It just feels wrong. There is no sense in comparing which experience or which loss is worse. We are all on our own journey and that is okay. We can still go through our own journey alongside the support and companionship of others. No need to compare. Just accept that it is hard. Be aware that this is normal.   
2. If we cannot forgive others, we have often not forgiven ourselves. 
3. Sometimes what is right for us is not right for our spouse. Our answers do not have to be everyone’s answers. This is normal. Once you accept this and learn to just be present and supportive in whatever way is needed, the pain may worsen. 
4. Telling our children they are enough.

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• Do I sincerely ask for forgiveness when it truly matters?
• How can I forgive myself when I need compassion and grace?
• How do I process grief?
• What does my emergency fund look like?

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

• Eric’s Website: www.theparadocs.com  
• Marcy’s Website: www.andysmom.com
• Eric’s Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheParadocsShow 
• Marcy’s Facebook: www.facebook.com/alwaysandysmom
• Instagram: @alwaysandysmom @theparadocsshow
• Twitter: @theparadocsshow @alwaysandysmom

*This podcast is a member of the Doctor Podcast Network

SPONSOR: doctorpodcastnetwork.com/contractdiagnostics or 888-574-5526

I encourage you to reach out to me at [email protected] with any questions, concerns, or suggestions!

If you would like a free copy of The Medical Marriage Survival Guide: An Instruction Manual For Physicians in Love E-book/Workbook, visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/the-medical-marriage and I will send it to you!

If you would like to get on the Women Physicians Medicine, Marriage, & Money Group Coaching Waitlist, visit https://library.medicinemarriageandmoney.com/waitlist now!

If you would like to work with me 1:1 to take your relationship to the next level, sign up at https://www.medicinemarriageandmoney.com and click “I AM READY” for a free 60-minute introductory coaching consult! I will do the rest!

WHAT YOU WILL DISCOVER IN THIS EPISODE

Medicine: 

• How she fell forward from her first attending job into something powerful
• Why she decided to work for Doctors without Borders in Cambodia, Uganda & Kenya

Marriage: 

• How she stays curious in her marriage 
• Bonding over the shoe size, toastmasters, humanitarian, and a shared burger on the first date
• On which day of dating he said, “I love you” 

Money:

• Fertility costs and how you never know how many years you will need to plan into the fertility journey
• Why she cares about learning the finances although her hubby does most of the spreadsheets
• How her real estate interests have evolved 

Fertility:

• Their brief separation because of different child/baby wants
• Her journey through multiple miscarriages, IUI, IVF,
• What it means to “have my own back” during her fertility journey
• Discovering physician empowerment
• What moving through pain looks like to Maneesha  

TAKE HOME POINTS FROM DR MANEESHA AHLUWALIA

1. Being excited about pregnancy does not make the pain any worse during a miscarriage. It is still painful. It was always going to be as painful. Allowing the emotion of excitement during the initial phases of the pregnancy journey does make it MORE painful than it would have otherwise been without the excitement. Avoiding the pain forever is impossible. Feeling the pain and moving through the pain is the goal.
2. We are not victims of what happens in life. Every decision, every path, every emotion we experience is a choice. Doctors may say funny things. Friends may say odd things. Nurses, family, and coworkers may say strange things. They often just want to say something, but do not know what to say? Why? Because everyone needs to hear different things. So, it does not matter what people say. Do not be a victim of the words or actions of others. We can choose how we interpret the words of others. We have the power to choose what to hear. 
3. When someone in our life may be experiencing miscarriage, fertility issues, or child loss, these are things we can say: I am here for you. I am listening to you. You get to think what you are thinking. You get to feel what you are feeling. We can talk about it or we do not need talk about it.

WALK AWAY ASKING YOURSELF

• How do I stay curious in my marriage or relationship?
• How can I stop being a victim of other people’s words? 
• Am I telling myself that I am doing enough today?
• How can I be more comfortable in my own skin today?
• Do I fear getting too excited in my journey because I fear disappointment and failure? 

FEATURED ON THIS SHOW

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