Marriage and Martinis

Adam and Danielle get drunk and don't remember what they talked about...

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Although Danielle and Stephanie sat down to discuss their love of teachers back in January, the details they bring up are still very relevant right now.

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What happens when two of the most inappropriate, honest, vulnerable, funny marriage podcasts sit down (virtually) together to talk about literally everything, from getting pregnant as a teenager, to infidelity, to sex (and lack thereof)? One hilarious episode that no one wants to miss. Danielle and Adam had a blast chatting with Sara and Sterling of the podcast and Instagram account Not The Worst Marriage. It helped pass the time during quarantine and provided many much needed belly laughs. Definitely take the time to listen to this raw, so-wrong-it's-almost-right, discussion among good friends as they reveal way more than they probably should.

• What happened with Sara became pregnant while still in high school?
• How did they manage being young parents while going to school and trying to support their new family?
• What led them both to cheat, and how did they come back from it?
• Why is sex such a critical part of their relationship?
• What advice would they give their own kids about choosing a partner?
• What is the greatest hurdle of their marriage?

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Danielle had the incredible privilege of talking to one of the nation's most respected experts concerning tweens and teens. Dr. Lisa Damour is a top parenting columnist for the New York Times, a regular contributor on CBS News, and a profound public speaker. In this episode, she and Danielle discuss tactics for parents to use when navigating adolescents and the world of social media during quarantine, what rules and boundaries we should have concerning privacy, how sleep is playing a critical role for kids during the time of the pandemic, and so much more. Dr. Damour is both calming and no-nonsense when discussing her philosophies on teenagers. She explains viewpoints in a manner that makes so much sense and can help all parents feel like we can absolutely get through this and communicate with our kids in a way that is firm yet understanding. Right now, her guidance is so incredibly valuable, and Marriage and Martinis is so grateful to be able to share her insight with their community.

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Like everyone else, Danielle and Adam and are just trying to figure out how to parent through a pandemic day by day. With three kids ages 8, 11, and 14, they are very much wondering what the current steps are in order to make this ordeal as "normal" as possible for their kids. They ask Dr. Becky everything from how to deal with homeschooling, to what our expectations should be for our kids during this time, to how much of this trauma will affect our kids in years to come, and so much more. No matter the ages of your kids, if you feel like you want some great strategies and insight about parenting while quarantined, this is definitely the episode for you.

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Ahhhhh, quarantine. What can Adam and Danielle say about it that hasn't already been said? A lot, actually. The two discuss polls from their instagram community, including questions about sex during quarantine, people's crazy dreams, who is thriving and who is definitely not, and so much more. Where do Danielle and Adam fit in all of these scenarios? Plus, what is Danielle's new Quarantine nickname for Adam, and how are the two getting along being together 24/7? Leave the news and stress of everything going on behind for an hour and listen to a lighter conversation about the world's problems. Just make sure you wash your hands (and probably your soul) afterwards.

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Now, more than ever, our communication skills are critical to helping the people around us who need to be heard and understood. We may not be able to be there physically for one another, but we can still be a huge source of comfort, support, and consistency for those in our life who rely on us. Our kids are used to having several adult influences throughout the day, and now they are basically reliant on us for all their learning and communication needs. Our partners usually leave and have other connections and shoulders on which to lean. We are taking on a new huge role with them, as well (and they are with us). In this episode, "deep listening" expert Oscar Trimboli discusses several useful, simple strategies we can all use on a daily basis to become more effective listeners, and show up for our people in ways we may not have been before. Only about 2% of the population is skilled in listening, and the rest of us think we know what it means to be active listeners, but really, we have very little understanding about its true meaning. Oscar's goal is to turn 100 million people into better listeners. Danielle and Adam were so excited that he agreed to help them and their audience become some of those people. Some topics in this episode include:

How Oscar became so obsessed with listening, and why he thinks it's the key to success in business, at home, and in society.

What are some ways we can better listen to young children?

What are some ways we can work on keeping calm and not jumping in when having a discussion with our spouse?

What is the 125/400 rule and why is it so crucial?

What are the different levels of deep listening?

How do we show up for the people in our lives who are struggling and truly need someone to be there for them as a listening ear?

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Check out Oscar at oscartrimboni.com

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One of the greatest gifts we can embrace in times like this is the power of humor and how it can physically and mentally calm and soothe us. Laughter has always been a huge part of Danielle and Adam's lives, and while everyone is navigating these unchartered times, the connection we can all still make through comedy and relatability is invaluable. 

In this episode, Danielle and Adam also talk about how the current situation has impacted them personally. What has changed in the past week even since their last episode, and what they are attempting to keep consistent even with this storm swirling all around. 

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Episode Sponsors:

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Paige and Catherine are founders and directors of the incredible Motherhood Center in New York City. They are ensuring that pregnant women, new moms, and their partners have plenty of support, therapy and guidance while facing difficult times with anxiety and all mood disorders. Together with Danielle and Adam, they discuss why moms should not feel guilty about not feeling a "motherly instinct," how much more common anxiety is in new dads than is oftentimes discussed, Danielle's story with PPD and how everything might have been different if The Motherhood Center had existed back when she was a new mom. Right now, so many of us are feeling anxious, and just hearing Paige and Catherine's voices and gentle, knowledgable stories will make anyone feel better and more understood. If you are pregnant, a new mom, went through postpartum, or are the partner of anyone going through any of those stages, this is definitely an episode to which you should listen. Send it to friends who might be going through a rough time with anxiety, are new parents, or just want to hear more about what is being done to help women get the attention and professional help they all deserve without shame or embarrassment. 

The Motherhood Center

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It's tough to concentrate on anything else right now when the Coronavirus seems to have overtaken every realm of our being, including work, home life, and the media. While there's tons of coverage concerning the physical symptoms and effects, we need to remember to figure out how we can best get through the next few weeks while staying sane and keeping our family as comfortable and mentally stable as possible. We may be stuck in limited settings with a great deal of uncertainty swirling around us, but there are still some things we can control and handle in the most positive and beneficial way possible. Life Coach Amy and Danielle discuss so many of these topics in this episode, including:

- How to deal with disappointment for ourselves and our kids (cancelled sporting events, parties, celebrations, etc.)

- Setting a family meeting to plan and prepare for the weeks to come.

- Figure out ways to focus on things other than the excessive coverage that might be detrimental to our well-being.

- Transitioning from work to working from home (especially with kids around).

- Being more forgiving of ourselves about things like allowing more screen time, cereal for dinner, and allowance on perks/luxuries we might not usually allow for ourselves.

- Turning negative thinking into more positive circumstances. 

For more and our famous supplemental "Date Night Questions," make sure you're signed up for our "Friday Five" emails at marriageandmartinis.com

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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