Marriage and Martinis

Birth control isn't something often discussed in conversation in adulthood. But it is a topic which so many of us have had so many different, as well as similar experiences: from the first time we saw or bought condoms, to how the pill affects our or our partner's physical and mental well being, to the decision of what birth control to use once in a longterm relationship. In this episode, Danielle and Adam are extremely open (and quite explicit) concerning stories involving birth control (or lack thereof). While this episode is not about the medical and "expert" information concerning different types of contraceptives, it definitely contains a lot of extremely identifiable and real moments which will have many listeners laughing at times, and also nodding at how relatable these stories are. 

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2019 will go down as one of the hardest and most volatile for Adam and Danielle. It was 12 long months of hashing and re-hashing out a whole lot of issues concerning finance, dishonestly, resentment, and misunderstanding. While it definitely all got tedious at times, it also was all very necessary to put them in the direction in which they now seem to be heading. The two of them discuss what mistakes they think they made, what they learned, what they're hoping 2020 will bring, and so much more. On a lighter note, they also discuss favorites of 2019, including movies, shows, and music. As always, it's all real, it's vulnerable, and it's practically unedited....and you'll definitely hear the parts they were going to edit. This is a great episode to conclude this year and look forward to what lay ahead for Danielle and Adam concerning the podcast, their marriage, as individuals, and as parents.

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In the midst of all the holiday madness, we all need to take a minute and just laugh and de-compress. That's why Danielle and Adam thought it was a perfect week to put out a mindless, fun, and funny episode with no deep thinking necessary. Of course things get a little out of hand, and they reveal too much. This episode is definitely not for the easily offended, and if you want to wait to listen while you're sitting around at night with a glass of wine or a cocktail, we get it. No matter what, you won't be able to make it through this episode without laughing.

Skip to 9:16 to get right to the game.

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After the overwhelming response to their first episode with Jodie Utter from last February, Danielle and Adam finally had the chance to continue their conversation with her. Where is she now in her journey of healing and forgiveness after her husband's infidelity? Is she able to trust again? How does she deal with the inevitable feelings of pain that come flooding back at any given moment? Is self-forgiveness harder than forgiving someone else? What advice does she have for others going through a similar situation? This is a must-listen for anyone who has dealt with any form of betrayal, not just infidelity. Jodie provides us all with a feeling of hope, understanding, acceptance, and peace. She is gentle, incredibly vulnerable, honest, and reveals all in her quest for no one to feel alone during their healing process. It is important to note that listeners definitely should listen to her episode from February, 2019 in order to hear the first part of her story.

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As the new year approaches, let's make some resolutions that will really change our lives for the better: getting just a little bit braver talking to our partners about our sexual needs and desires. Danielle and Adam continue their conversation with sexual communications coach, Leah, all about how couples can handle differing libidos, exhaustion, lack of orgasms, the need for sexual touch throughout the day, and so much more. Leah recommends some "bedroom games," explains why women and men might have such different needs when it comes to sensual touch, explains some misconceptions about the vagina, and talks about why we need to start thinking of sexual experimentation in small increments rather than this huge, overwhelming task. This is an awesome episode to listen to with your spouse, or listen separately and then use it as a tool for discussion.

https://www.leahcarey.com/brave

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In theory, the holidays are an amazing time of year and should feel completely magical. In reality, there are a thousand tasks to get done, anxiety levels are heightened, family time can be overwhelming, and it's all expensive AF. Life coach Amy sits down with Adam and Danielle to discuss ways that we can ensure that this year will be more enjoyable for everyone. Being more intentional with our time, remembering acts of self-care, communication with our partner, and seeing the bigger picture are just some of the ways that help lessen the intensity of it all and allow us to focus on the more memorable details. This episode is fun and light, but also definitely covers a lot of topics and gives a ton of useful strategies and ideas. 

Amy, Adam and Danielle each discuss memories of the holidays from childhood.

What are Adam and Danielle doing differently with their kids this year concerning gift giving?

How bad at math is Danielle, really? (It's really bad)

What can spouses do to make each other feel more comfortable while at one another's family's houses for the holidays?

What are some ways we can make parties and gatherings easier for introverts?

How do we figure out how we want to look back on this season and feel about it all?

What steps do we take to get wind up with successful results?

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The founders of Grown and Flown took time out of their book tour to talk to Danielle all about raising kids and young adults between the ages of 14 and 25. Danielle asks them how we can gauge when we are giving them too much independence or not enough, how to deal with teens who no longer want to spend time with the family during events and activities, if we should really be driving their forgotten homework and gym clothes to school, how to handle conversations with kids who are unsure about attending college, and so much more. This episode is filled with great strategies to use in order to keep open communication with our kids no matter how old they're getting, and ways to ensure our home is a safe space where they feel they want to be. 

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Last weekend Danielle went to see Glennon Doyle live in NYC, and during the show, writer and activist, Glennon, said something that was a gut punch to Danielle. She was talking about how one day when she was in her former marriage, she looked around and said, "Isn't it all supposed to be more beautiful than this." It was this phrase that initiated Danielle's idea for her and Adam to check in with each other about needs they might still have within their relationship. What are they not getting enough of which they still desire? What are they currently kicking butt at in their relationship? How has everything been between them these past few months? John Gottman says that the number one questions spouses need to be asking each more is, "how are you doing?" and that is exactly what Danielle hopes this episode will lead to in more relationships.

In this episode, Danielle discusses why aging makes it even more important for partners to show love to one another.

Adam discusses how he snapped out of being in a bad mood every night after work.

The two debate how important romance is in a relationship even if everything else between the partners is completely fine.

Danielle describes what she and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman have in common.

Adam talks about needing to take baby steps when getting back to a place they were before.

Danielle reads an excerpt from one of her favorite books, "Love Warrior."

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Danielle and Adam have always been very honest that finance has been a big source of stress in their relationship. They've had periods of feeling like they were in a really good place concerning money, and times when it has been a complete disaster. This episode, unlike the other finance episodes they had a few months ago, are not with experts giving advice, but rather, just their personal experiences with finance, both growing up and as a couple. They discuss everything from how Danielle deciding to be a SAHM affected their situation, to Adam's period of binge-spending as a way to deal with his hardships, and how their lack of communication made everything worse. This episode is very relatable for any partner who has ever felt there was a great imbalance concerning spending in their own marriage, and for any couple who is finally trying to get their life back on track.

Adam and Danielle discuss:

- How private school impacted their feelings of inadequacy and jealousy

-Adam's obsession with buying a house he couldn't afford

-Danielle wanting Adam to prove his willingness to spend on her when he bought her expensive jewelry

-The feeling of having your credit card declined in public

-The purchase Adam made that Danielle wanted to smash to pieces

-How they used spending money together as a form of therapy

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Mom shamers unite - and leave....no one wants you here. Danielle and our guest host Tara Clark (aka @modernmomprobs) are talking all things mom shaming. They discuss personal experiences in real life and in the virtual world, and why we need to stop asking people when they’re having kids. These ladies touch on everything from breastfeeding to screaming kids on airplanes, and the time when Danielle let her newborn cry hysterically in an elevator and what ensued with a stranger. Plus, how can we make moms feel more supported? Check out this episode no matter how old your kids are or even if you have no plans on ever having them. And send it to someone who might need a bit more support right now. It’s an episode intended for absolutely everyone.

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