Marriage and Martinis

Danielle and Adam are joined by actual Millennial, Sarah Merrill (also know on Instagram as @bigkidproblems), who is currently in the midst of planning her own wedding. The three of them discuss the differences that naturally arise when getting married at age 24 verses age 32, how weddings have changed since Danielle and Adam were planning theirs 18 years ago, how technology has completely reconstructed the wedding industry, and the actual costs of being in a bridal party. This is such a fun episode, but also dives into some issues such as what happens when you have to share the decision-making about aspects such as the guest list, venue, and honeymoon with two sets of parents. Sarah tells her incredible engagement story, and also her experiences going to extremely non-traditional, more modern weddings such as the one she recently attended at the "House of Yes" involving bathtubs, twerking, and endless amounts of glitter. This is not the same kind of wedding that Adam and Danielle are used to, and they are super jealous. If you are planning a wedding, know someone who is, or just want to hear all about all the amazing options available to brides and grooms today, you definitely want to tune in to this episode. 

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It's incredible how the roles and careers we choose to partake in as adults turn out to be nothing like we expected, and how little we were warned what is truly involved in life at work and at home. In this episode, Danielle discusses how shocking it is that being a stay-at-home-mom is not at all how she pictured it, and she's constantly feeling like a failure because she's terrible at the aspects of being a "homemaker" that she never thought about. She also discusses how she spent years being a high school teacher, and that job too came with so many unexpected responsibilities that they don't warn you about when getting your degree. Adam discusses the physical aspects of being an adult that are beginning to wear him down, and the shocks of parenting that are still thrown at him all the time. On the other hand, Danielle and Adam talk all about the awesome things involved in being "grown-ups" and how cool it is to have the freedom that comes with getting older. No matter your role or career, if you ever feel like you had no freaking clue what was coming your way, you'll definitely want to listen to this episode.

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Miriam Kirmayer is a therapist, writer, speaker, and relationship expert who has spent the last decade researching young adult friendships. Her work focuses on helping others navigate life transitions, achieve their goals, and build stronger relationships with the people who matter most. A leading voice in the media, her words and advice have appeared in outlets such as The Atlantic, Forbes, The New York Times, TIME, Vogue, and Women’s Health. As a consultant, Miriam partners with businesses and brands on a variety of initiatives related to social connection and well-being. 

Website: www.miriamkirmayer.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/miriamkirmayer Facebook: www.facebook.com/miriamkirmayer Twitter: www.twitter.com/miriamkirmayer

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Relationship experts will tell you it's the little things partners do for each other that actually wind up going the longest way in a marriage. Big, elaborate gifts are meaningful in their own way, but we need to concentrate on the small moments and favors that help show each other that we are actively thinking about the other person. Danielle and Adam discuss everything from choreplay to compliments to the gift of "the nap" within relationships. Also, how did watching their own parents' interactions affect their own expectations of what partners are supposed to do for one another? How have those expectations changed over the years? What do they feel they would like one another to do more of in the future to show they care? How does Gottman's famous "six-second kiss" affect their daily routine, and what other advice does Gottman give in this area? And, what occurred a few weeks ago to show Danielle that this topic was an absolute necessity as soon as possible? This episode is fun, insightful, and offers just the right amount of TMI, in natural Marriage and Martinis style.

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Kim Cavill is a sex educator and host of the podcast “Six Minute Sex Ed,” meant to help start the conversation between parents and kids about all things sex and sexuality related. As a sex-positive parent, she is attempting to get rid of the shame that surrounds the teachings of sex that currently exist in schools today. We discuss age-appropriate conversations no matter how old your kids are, where and when the best times to open a dialogue are, which parent should be the one leading the discussion, and so much more. Kids deserve a more positive understanding of how sex can impact our lives, and not just learn about it from a risk-based approach. Giving them a safe space at home to feel they can ask any question is the first step as parents if we want to truly bridge the gap on this topic with our children. No matter the age of your kids or if you’re maybe planning on having kids sometime in the future, this is definitely a very important and insightful episode.

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Most people know about Alexis Haines from her role in the notorious group of teenagers who robbed over 3 million dollars in cash and possessions from the houses of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom and more. She also starred in the E! network reality show, "Pretty Wild." We sat down with Alexis to talk all about this out-of-control time in her life when she was addicted to heroin, was dealing with the trauma of her childhood, and a prison sentence. But what came after this time was a period of healing, hard work and intense recovery. Now a doula, drug counselor, wife and mom, Alexis is actively ensuring people have a safe space to come forward, tell their truth, and do so without shame or judgment. Her podcast, "Recovering From Reality," helps to show people how fulfilling life can be once we embrace our past and deal with our mistakes. *Trigger warning: this episode contains discussion of childhood trauma and drug addiction. This is Alexis's vulnerable and honest story about going from rock bottom to the top of her game. 

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*TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of addiction and being the spouse of an addict.

Adam and Danielle have experienced both sides of gambling: the fun, exciting side, when winning is an adrenaline rush and getting caught up in the moment feels incredibly fun and exhilarating. But they've also experienced the much more negative aspects of gambling and what can happen when that feeling becomes an escape that starts to get all too familiar and frequent.

This episode is really two parts: the first part has a lighter, more nostalgic tone, looking back on how growing up an hour from Atlantic City was a big part of their childhood, and how a portion of the beginning of their relationship was rooted in the more glamorous side of casinos and spending money. The second part delves more deeply into the serious side of when gambling becomes an addiction rather than a once-in-a-while activity. The financial ramifications, mistrust, and spiraling out of control are just a few of the harsh realities they were forced to ultimately face and deal with. How did they deal with it? What were the next steps? Listen to the episode to find out how this regular couple dealt with critical circumstances.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, there is absolutely no shame in getting help. 

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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Over the past few decades, there has been a lot more openness about the fact that monogamy is not the only type of lifestyle for couples. Polyamory, open marriage, swinging and other options are making some partners wonder if any of these experiences are right for them. In this episode, Danielle and Adam discuss how their upbringing formed their understanding and opinions about monogamy. They discuss whether or not trying to have an open marriage would ever be on the table, and what experiences they might want to have if ever given a "free pass." Is Monogamy inherent in our being or is it a social construct created to keep order in society? Why is Danielle mad at herself for something that happened 20 years ago, and how does she wish she had handled her youth differently? How will Adam and Danielle feel about their own children possibly wanting to explore non-monogamy? Listen to episode to find out how and why this is a conversation and topic that is coming up more and more in relationships across the US and around the world.

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 Adam and Danielle continue their Los Angeles adventure by traveling to "The Valley" to meet Erica and Jamilah from the podcast, "Good Moms, Bad Choices." After realizing very quickly that it was fate for the four of them to meet, the conversation got extremely comfortable and there were pretty much no inhibitions about anything. Thus begins the discussion about everything from Danielle's last visit to LA in which she visited the Menendez Brothers (but, for real....), a clarification of what "The Valley" actually is, anyway, and a whole lot of real talk about teaching our daughters about body image, Jamilah's "free the nipple" movement, how old is too old to be naked in front of our kids, and so much more. If you imagine sitting around with your three best friends all day holding nothing back, and someone came in and just recorded the middle hour, that pretty much sums up this episode. It's fun, it's a tad out of control (in the best way possible), and for sure is going to be continued sometime in the near future. 

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Adam and Danielle sit down with Jodie Sweetin and Celia Behar, BFF's from the Never Thought I'd Say This podcast. The four talk all things friendship, including how these two women met and formed a lifetime bond via social media, how our value of friendship in our lives has changed over the years, how friendship differs for men than for women, and whether or not it's ok for a significant other to have good friends of the opposite sex. 

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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