Mbaacha

Today I learned that it just takes time to learn. I was sitting in the library finishing up from taking notes from a video and realize that this 30 minute video took me 3 to 4 days of 25 minute increments to finish. The first time I watched this video I didn’t take any notes at all. I just watched it all the way through. But this time I knew that I wanted to keep the info in my journal. I knew that I wanted to constantly review the information. I knew that that this video was worth the time to sit down and really extract the information. The process of rewatching the video and listening extra hard to truly understand the concepts being explained and then store it in my journal took longer than I thought. I realized how much stuff I missed by just casually viewing it. I realized how packed the video was of great information. I later did my calculus homework and realized the same thing. There were so many steps to just one problem. There were things that I didn’t fully understand until I continued to study them. There were patterns I didn’t recognize until after awhile. What I’m realizing is that the brain is a miraculous thing that kind understand anything you throw at it. But it requires as much time necessary to fully comprehend foreign concepts. Learning in my opinion is all about pattern recognition. Once one notices the pattern of how a problem works one can then make steps to work on that problem. But if not enough time has been spent learning the patterns and what to do with those patterns one will surely make an error. That made me realize why I shirked off reading and becoming a serious student of life. There’s always a deadline approaching and there is always something fighting for your attention. It takes a serious commitment to invest however much time necessary to gather and learn information which will most likely improve the quality of my life. To me that’s no problem. I understand now that having a “as much time as it takes” attitude is necessary to get to where I want to get to. I understand what a world’s difference being more knowledgeable and more skillful could do for one’s life. It just takes times. To truly learn more. To truly increase one’s skill set. Quoting early just prolongs the learning curve.That’s just the way it works. And that’s okay.

Today I learned that taking the extra step lifts you up. From all the information that I’ve been gathering. From the countless times I’ve gotten the results that I wanted by just making the extra painstaking effort. From all the various stories I heard of other people who put in massive work behind the scenes to get massive results down the road. It’s so obvious more than ever that taking the extra step lifts you up more than anything. Taking the extra step to prepare. Taking the extra step to study. Taking the extra step to work harder on my skills. It all sets me apart. It makes you something above average. It makes you something unique that people notice. An example in mind is how my communication skills distinguish me whenever I’m in a group of people. I always notice people listening extra hard when I ask a question in class or give my opinion. When I first notice this pattern I wondered why it came to be. I was weirded out when I notice people’s interest in what came out my mouth. But when I thought about it just made sense. Doing this podcast has sharpened my communication skills dramatically. Before I started doing this thing I wasn’t the best communicator. But after just doing podcast over and over again I got better at explaining what the ideas are in my head. Because I’ve podcasting for a year now it shows in the way I talk and write. People notice that because my communication skills are developed higher than the normal person’s would be because the normal person doesn’t have s one man podcast with one hundred and forty episodes. Realizing that rekindled all my old ambitions. It made me want to work on all my talents. It’s just that simple. Taking that extra step over time will compound and the effect will be dramatic. That’s how I’m going to get to where I want. By every day, week, month doing it a little more than I could. Pushing myself just a little bit each time. Doing it over and over for a long period of time. Taking the time to study. Taking the time to prepare. Taking the time think of ways in which I could make it better. That’s going to be my way up. Not by doing any get rich quick schemes, or waiting for another nigga to change my life. I’m gonna change step by step. Pushing harder and harder with each try.

Today I learned that non-physical qualities matter infinitely more. It so obvious but it’s so easy to forget. It’s so easy to write off as just a corny idea. I really understood this when I wrote this girl a love letter. The purpose of writing that letter was not so much for me to woo the girl but for me to communicate to myself why do I like this girl? Why does she occupy a space in my mind? So I ask myself that on a peice of paper and I made sure to not put just because she’s attractive. I came up with four things. Because she’s funny, smart, a fighter, and lastly because she reminds me of myself. Those qualities made her unique amoungst all other girls whom are attracted to me. Everybody is different of course but those qualities for whatever reason are highly attractive to me. So my atttraction really so much isn’t specifically to the girl it’s more to the qualities the girl possesses. I really understood this when I began to be more stern. There was an incident that happen recently where I had to get mildly verbally aggressive with some guy at my school. He picked up my stuff stuff and moved it instead of just asking me to move my stuff. In that moment I confronted him and he pretended to act like he didn’t know what I was talking about. When people did that in the past I would let them off easy but since I decided to be more stern I kept pressing him on the issue. Out of nowhere this girl came to my support and the guy I was pressing clammed up. I was really flattered that that girl came to my aide. It was obvious that she was attracted by my newly developed sternness. It seems to me that women are attracted to a guy who is stern and bold. Who will stand up for himself in an instant. When I’ve displayed these qualities I’ve always notice women stare at me longer. This idea makes me think that I’ve had it all wrong this whole time. I’ve been spending so much time developing my physical qualities. Like cutting weight, consistently getting haircuts, and getting a nose ring. Though these things did garner me more female attention there was something I would do that always cause these girls to be less attractive towards me. That’s because I didn’t develop my interior. I didn’t develop the qualities s man would need to get in a relationship and then grow that relationship. This idea also proves to me that being physically attractive isn’t enough to keep somebody around for the longterm. Being physical attractive is something that can be found anywhere. This idea taught me that betting on my newly developed physical attractiveness is a poor choice. Developing qualities of sternness, boldness, and romancingness as well as continue to become more physically attractive is the best bet.

Today I learned that there is a time to be stern. I’ve been the most happiest I’ve ever been. An overwhelming portion of that happiness stems from the fact that I see myself taking daily steps towards the things that I want. Those daily steps yield progress and the progress that I experience fuels me to take more daily steps. This higher level of happiness that I’ve been feeling is taken with me in every interaction I have with anybody. I was genuinely a happy guy before but with this even higher level I’ve been noticing particular patterns. I’ve noticed that when you express your gleeful feelings people are annoyed by them. People are bothered by somebody who laughs loudly or who makes a joke or two. If your in a negative place and you see somebody enjoying themself I could understand how one could be angered by that. I could see how somebody would be jealous of somebody who seems to have more than enough happiness, who seems to be headed somewhere. A pattern I’ve noticed is that after expressing my happiness somebody will find some way to express their contempt for me. People that I don’t even know will try to rain on my parade. Whether through micro-aggressions, clever taunting, or petty behavior. It’s unfortunate. But this has happened enough times for me to realize that this is the cost for being the type of person I want to be. You can’t be remarkable without being scrutinized. If you stick out and make waves this is just what you have to deal with. What I did in the past was just be a hermit. I choose to have as little as much contact with people I didn’t know in general. I choose to stay to myself. I couldn’t deal with being put down by people. It ate me up inside because it was always unwarranted. I was always nice to other people. So I said forget it and became a recluse. But that’s not an option anymore. That mode of action didn’t move me forward it moved me backwards. The better option I found is to be stern. To anticipate the negativity and put yourself in a mode to attack it. There more I keep setting and achieving my daily goals the more progress I’ll experience and the more happiness I’ll have. People are always going to be out to take a tiny bit of that happiness at a time. I’m that last guard when it comes to my peace of mind. I’ve learned this before it’s just that don’t practice it because it’s difficult at times. But it’s all about repetition. The only way I’m going to happily function in society is by recognizing that there’s a time to be stern. At work, in class, or just around people in general there always has to be a guard up for the contempt in other people’s hearts.

Today I Learned that self control is attractive. I remember I was talking to this girl with the goal of just getting to know her more. I had walked over and introduced myself and asked if I could giver her my number. She said yes. After texting her for a few minutes I grew dissinterested because I was just getting one word replies. I kept seeing this girl around campus and I got the hint that she wanted to still continue talk. So the next time I saw her I made the effort to sit by her in the computer lab and really see if we were compatible. I realized upon sitting down and talking to her that she had poor self control. With a couple minutes in the conversation she started talking about how much she loved sex. She went on about how she was open to the idea of just messing around. She then went on to talk about how she ate so much on a vacation and gained 10 pounds. The coup de grace for me was when I realized that this girl couldn’t stop talking to save her life. I was turned off. I was viscerally disgusted. I knew that if I were to get involved with this girl I would basically have to be her parent. She was young. So I could understand the reason for her poor level of self control. I’ve been there too. I’m still there in a lot of ways. Doing this podcast has made me a motor mouth. But there is something in me that quelled the flame of initial attraction. I think it’s because I know for a fact that poor self control leads to poor decisions. Poor decisions leads to a shitty life. A shitty life leads to unhappiness. That is something I’m spending every second of the day working against. A shitty life in my humble opinion is a wasted life. That experience taught me that self control is attractive on the dating market. A person who can keep themselves self contained is a person your comfortable with. A person who knows how to regulate their emotions to a high level is somebody I want to be. Having poor self control is giving into instant gratification. It spurs bad habits like yelling, spiteful behavior, and contempt. All things that kill a relationship. It’s tough though. You have to exert self control in public all the time. So when somebody makes you feel comfortable you see that as a chance to let loose. To really be yourself. But it has to be measured. If one person in the relationship has a high level of self control the other person will just copy them. But if both people have poor self control then the relationship is doomed from the start. Increasing my self control has been difficult. But I find that mediating is a big help. I should only really let loose are truly be myself when I engage in my hobbies. That’s when there is no repercussions. That’s where I can channel all my enthusiasm.

Today I learned I gotta make the time. I was at work today completely overwhelmed. The customers just kept lining up, the phone just kept ringing, and at every break I got the pharmacist demanded me to be in production. It was a very taxing day. The day before I bought a journal to take notes on solutions of frequent problems I come across at work. But for the vast majority of time I was at work I didn’t have the time nor energy to take a moment and reflect on what I learned. But after being pulled in several different directions at work I realized that the moment I was in paralleled to my entire life. I’ve been casual in my learning recently. For the time being I’ve basically abandoned my old daily habit of reading/researching. I got overwhelmed with school and made myself believe that I was educating myself enough just by being in school. But I know that’s not totally true. The time and energy that I’m expending towards college are overall going towards the development of my career. Though I’m learning new information the overarching goal is that I get a job that pays higher than what my current job pays. So to say that I’m educating myself by going to college for the sake of educating myself would be a costly lie. At the end of the day I’m there to secure a peace of mind. I’m in school so that I can sustain myself for the long hual. When the dream I’ve been working on for years takes longer than I thought I want to make sure that I’m fortified to be as patient as I need to be. And that can be achieved by getting a job that I would work my entire life if I had to. So that time and energy I spend in school is booked as career development. Being overwhelmed by the demand of the customers by my job taught me that the market is going to always take as much out of you as it can, especially if your good at your job. And that’s never going to change. After thinking about this idea I got a sense of joy because I knew that this was another reason to commit more time to learning. One can be so effective at their job and their life simply by making a habit to more about. It was diificult for me to stay on track with this habit because I would consistently get overwhelmed between working and being in school. But it’s now obvious now more than ever that this is something that make all the difference. The people that take the time to learn about the solutions to their problems solve their problems. The people that don’t take the time learn about their problems will just naturally keep doing the same thing over and over again until they get frustrated and quit. That can be said for so many various different areas of life. Even though I’m studying for life is good to. Reviewing information is something that I need to keep doing for the rest of my life. But taking the time to gather new information daily is the thing that is going to take me to where I want to go. It makes me a channel. It broadens my opportunities. It will give me new dimensions to look at my most difficult problems. So I’m gonna read on a daily now and forever. I’m gonna reasearch solutions to my problems on a daily now. Because my real life is what I do every day. Not what I do every now and then.

Today I learned that I have to focus on the target. With me adding more value to myself I’ve been attracting more and more female attention. At first I was overjoyed that a couple girls were starting to give me the time of day. But after awhile I realized that this additional female attention was detrimental to my overall goal of finding the type of girl that I want. I realized through several stillborn relationships that building a meaningful enriching romantic relationship with any girl isn’t going to be easy. It takes patience and grit to break down the walls females put up to protect themselves from the guys who just want sex. I had a hard time understanding this. My prior understanding was that if a girl rejects you she has no interest in you. Though I’ve come to understand that that is partly true. In my experience sometimes a girl will reject you to measure your desire for them. Upon facing rejection I would just move on to the next potential relationship canidate. But that was an error in some circumstances. What I should of done was be more patient and more clever. Utilizing definite propose would of seperated me from the pack. But to do that would actually require that I find something unique in this girl. To do that would require me to put this one girl above all other girls whom have peaked my interest. Until recently I hadn’t really decide what criteria that this one girl would have to have. But finally I just wrote on a piece what are the specific nonphysical qualities a girl would have to possess that would then prompt me to solely focus on courting her. Now that I’ve done that it makes it easier to disregard all the extra female attention I’ve been getting in order to serious move forward with courting my next girlfriend. So in conclusion I learned today that I have to focus on the target. I have to disregard the distractions. When experiencing failed attempts I have to stick with it and figure it out not run off to a new challenge hoping it will be easier. Building any type meaningful of relationship has inherent difficulties. Letting myself get distract and start and stop is just keeping me from achieving my goal.

Today I Learned I have to Let it Hurt Again. I was thinking about how I’ve been letting my podcast slide. How I’ve been neglecting to take the time to workout all the ideas I’ve been coming across. I know that since I haven’t invested that time into understanding new ideas that I’ve become dumber than what I would of been. Things that I learned but didn’t do a podcast on or at least do an essay on will have to be taught to me again by life. I feel that’s a bit wasteful. I was trying to figure out what’s the reason why I haven’t been recording and uploading new episodes. I was always a busy guy. When I first started this podcast and all the way throughout. There was always school and there was always work. So the lie I told myself about how I’m so busy with school and work isn’t valid. The real reason is that ever since I achieved my goal from last Summer I’ve let that basic success get to my head. The one major thing I wanted to do last Summer was move out and transfer to University. Achieving that meant the world to me. And though I should be happy with myself for overcoming the challenges that came with achieving that goal I shouldn’t bask in glory anymore. I shouldn’t let my burning desire to learn more and become a better person fade away. That is a blessing. I realize that that is what’s happening. I’ve become to prideful. Too satisfied with myself. All when there are an unlimited amount of challegebes that I haven’t yet accomplished. I’ve found that another for me to get rid of my self satisfaction is to do something that I did last summer to motivate me to work as much as I did. There were days I didn’t want to get up at 5:45am and walk to the laundrymat to work. But what I did I order to get myself out of bed was think about my lowest moments. I throughout about when I turned 22 and how I was extremely embarrassed with myself. I thought about how little I had accomplished with my four years out of high school. I thought about how I had let everybody down who ever believed in me. I thought about how most importantly I let myself down. I was disgusted with myself. I was ashamed of myself. That feeling I felt prompted me to go back to school immediately. I used that extreme self dissatisfaction to power through the hard times. The times when I didn’t feel like going to work. So that’s what I plan to do with this podcast. I’m going to remember the time I realized that instead of getting smarter with the passage of time I got dumber. I’m going to remember the shame I felt realizing that I had no self control and couldn’t organize myself properly. I’m going to remember the time we’re it felt like I couldn’t of done anything right and it was only failure after failure. That feeling is going ward off high self satisfaction. I should be happy with advances that I’ve made but I should be more focused on getting all there is out of myself as possible. That means learning more. That means failure more. That means taking the time to thoroughly workout ideas and share them. I have to remember my most painful and lowest moments so that I can continue to dig down and push to reach the gems that are inside me.

Today I learned I have to make refined distinctions. Last week I watched a Tony Robbins video that I had watched numerous times before. For whatever reason this particular time I watched this video it struck a cord with me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t yet earned the success that I want in my love life and I was listening extra hard for something that could help me be more effective. Maybe it’s because ever since I started seriously note taking I’m always looking for ideas worth writing down. Or Maybe it becuase I’m now serious enough to actually apply the information in the video. Whichever reason that is I I learned about the idea of making refined distinctions. In this video Tony explained how most Inuits have more than a dozen words for the word snow. He explained how inuits need to know the various types of snow to be more effective in their surroundings. Apparently there’s a particular type of snow to build an igloo, a particular type of snow to safely walk on, and a particular type of snow one can walk on. Because Inuits have these several distinctions Tony explained they are more effective in getting their outcome in that surroding than you or I would. The idea as far as I understand is to define the effects of your actions towards your goals. Aswell as define your specie mode of action. Tony talked about how common it is for people to say they’ve “tried everything” to achieve a particular goal. But when asked to name and number all their modes of action they can only get past two things. The video ended with an anecdotal story of Thomas Edison and how for each failed 10,000 failed experiment Edison made refined dictions by jotting down the outcome. This is a pretty methodical way to go about one’s in achieving a particular goal. I find it most interesting because it forces one to identify there strategy. After thinking about this idea and putting it into practice I realized that I hadn’t really had a strategy for courting the type of girl I want and that might be a big reason for my lack of success. I’m gonna fully out this idea into practice and benefit from it.

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf2zme307-A

Today I learned I have to Study for Life. I’ve been noticing myself make the same mistakes over and over. I’ve been noticing the same moments happen over and over. Its interesting. The faces change but the same human behavior I dealt with in the past is the same human behavior I’m dealing with in the present. To be specific I made the same mistake I made last summer with getting snippy with my superiors at work. My boss asked me to let a new hire use my credentials to count medication. The first time she asked me this she did this in a quick and commanding manner. I agreed but felt like I had given too much leverage and vowed to myself that I would never let that happen again. The second time around I firmly and boldly disagreed. She stopped right in her tracks said “Okay” but I knew when I got home later in the day their would be consequences for my disagreeableness. Now it’s obvious that that the lady is trying to make me quit by shorting my hours as much as she can. Unfortunately for her I can move around her malevolent behavior and earn enough money to meet my budget. Had I made it a habit to study the information I’ve been accumulating with this podcast I probably would of handled that better. I probably would of gentely told her that I would not let somebody else use my credentials. Another mistake I’ve been making consistently is my inability to act quickly in the face of opportunity. I always freeze and let opportunity walk away briskly. I always clam up when opportunity sits herself in my lap. It’s a pitiful waste. But with studying daily now I think I’ll get better. It’s excellent that I’ve been accumulating all this information. Just the mere act of me accumulating all this information has improved the quality of my decisions. But I have to study this information daily to get the full value of it and to more effectively put it into practice. Things go off track naturally. Anybody is going to forget the things they learned naturally. The best way for me to stay in the positive direction I’m going is to review the notes I’ve been taking. Study the days I performed highly. Study the things that worked most effectively with females. Study the ideas that switched me and increased the quality of my life. I gotta study love, I gotta study the career I want, I gotta study happiness, I have to study myself. This is great because it just reenforces my desire to be a life long learner. So I gotta study for life. That’s what I learned today.