Menopause brain fog or early-onset dementia? Sandwich generation hell or just an overstuffed Oreo of crap?

This week Leora is rocking her HRT patch—along with octopus-attack-level suction marks. Meanwhile, Eliana has finally found her “people” at physical therapy (middle-aged complainers with THE BEST stories.) Together we uncover the darkly hilarious world of late-in-life dating (spoiler: sometimes you get “ghosted” because the guy has literally dropped dead), debate whether coconut oil belongs in your hooch, and confess our newest obsession with Amazon flash sales.

Plus: royal family gossip, mommy’s freezer meltdown, and the real secret to sisterly love—less talking, more podcasting.

Hot link to Leora's Amazon dress

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Forget fasting, flogging yourself at the gym, or doomscrolling ‘til 4am. This week's guest, certified menopause coach Christie Chapman, explains why cortisol is sabotaging your body, why fasting is trash, and why food that “comes from the ground or had a mother” is your new BFF.

Add in bone broth hacks, breakfast saves, and a little Canadian calm, and suddenly midlife fitness seems a whole lot less like punishment.

Oh yeah- and her 30-30-30 rule (protein, fiber, movement) might make you feel 100% better.

Book a FREE Hormone Clarity Session with Christie or check out her 5 Day Hormone Friendly Meal Plan.

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This week’s MenOpod comes in hot from Eliana’s glam New York weekend - wedding gossip, theater reviews, and a DIY pedicure that cost less than a latte. Leora admits her contact lenses are glued to her eyeballs, Eliana admits she hasn’t updated her makeup since 1991, and both admit they’re now fully signed up for the We Do Not Care Club.

Add in a side of Ozempic envy, My Kids Suck solidarity, and the eternal question of whether looking good actually makes us feel good—and you’ve got a MenOpod classic: irreverent, raunchy, and painfully relatable.

Check out this link for everything you need to know about getting cheap broadway tickets!!!

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This week the sisters are unhinged (blame no sleep, no coffee, and no poop). Eliana’s ice maker has a meltdown while Leora defends her daughter’s mattress heist like a mob boss in a dorm room. We dive into back-to-school tips that may or may not end with burner phones, unpack the rage of packing school lunches no one eats, and debate whether teachers deserve Starbucks or sainthood. Also: Leora attempts menopause math with an HRT patch schedule as confusing as a divorced-parent custody calendar. Plus, Eliana coins the term “Tweenior” - because 50 is way too hot for “Senior,” thank you very much.

Buckle up, bitches - MenOpod is in session.

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Who knew sending a kid off to grad school could feel like passing a placenta? Eliana dishes on her anxiety-soaked drop-off saga while Leora finally glued an HRT patch to her ass and is waiting to see if she glows or croaks.

In this episode we cover everything from levitating teeth and insurance-funded dental torture to Target fraudsters and bougie shampoo worth more than your mortgage. Sprinkle in Aldi’s vs. Walmart vs. Trader Joe’s snobbery, scamtastic sound baths, and the shocking realization that after 50, death isn’t “too soon” — it’s just “fair game.”

Oh, and meet Eric Lopez, the bedtime boyfriend whispering us to sleep every night (sorry, husbands). It’s menopause, midlife, and madness all rolled into one sound bath of sisterly chaos.

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Eliana is spiraling, Leora’s got the post-hotel-sex-glow, and guest expert Allie Hill - author of The Girlfriend’s Guide to Empty Nesting - is here to talk both of them off the ledge (or at least into a guided meditation). It’s all about the meltdown before college drop-off — the anxiety, the Amazon cart spirals, the parental guilt, and whether or not your son will make his flight back from Asia in time to move into his damn apartment.

We get real about parental burnout, dorm decorating drama, FERPA forms, and whether tracking your kid on Life360 saves your sanity or wrecks it. Plus, why the only parenting model you may ever need is “benign neglect.”

🎧 Tune in for laughter, tears, and some badly-needed midlife solidarity. Perfect for moms navigating empty nest syndrome, midlife parenting, and menopause madness all at once.

📘 Get the book: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Empty Nesting by Allie Hill

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In this very special episode of MenOpod, the sisters are IN THE SAME ROOM. What starts as a “heartwarming” reunion quickly devolves into passive-aggressive meditation attempts, intercontinental sibling warfare, and mutual loathing over parenting styles.

Eliana contemplates murdering Leora mid-recording, while Leora insists meditation will save everyone & everything—including Eliana’s fraying sleep deprived sanity. Also covered: therapist breakups, empty nest anxiety, weaponized shopping sprees, buying adult diapers on clearance, and the eternal question: can stress actually be a life-extending preservative?

Buckle up, buttercup—it’s a hot flash of sisterly chaos.

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If you've ever dropped your pants in front of your sister to discuss the state of your rear end, this one’s for you.

In this episode, Leora takes a lover - by which we mean, she starts tennis lessons. Meanwhile, Eliana hates yoga, hates yoga people, and possibly hates yoga locker room small talk most of all. We also dive into swim lane politics, the smelly science of movie theater vaginas (yes, we went there), and the art of talking your husband OUT of visiting you.

Bonus topics: the passive-aggressive parenting power of Amazon password changes, why butterfly stroke is an aquatic male mating call, and whether panty liners are the gateway drug to diapers. Spoiler: we disagree. Loudly.

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Eliana’s still on vacation (and still not a bridesmaid), while Leora tries to reinvent herself—again—this time as a tennis queen.

The sisters play the ultimate guessing game: Daughter or Date? They also cover the tragic comeback of prairie prom dresses, why men never want to do anything with their wives, and the horror of buying a vibrator in a small-town pharmacy where everyone definitely saw.

Plus: Eliana’s courtroom tale of the man who had sex with a horse (seriously), brain fog confessions, and a heated debate over whether maternity clothes are just regular clothes for the rest of your life.

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When the CEO of a billion-dollar company gets caught red handed on the kiss cam with his HR mistress, you know we had to blow up the whole show and talk about it. Eliana and Leora break down the now-infamous “ColdplayGate” affair, midlife ego trips, and why women everywhere are yelling TEAM WIFE. Then divorce financial analyst Nancy Hetrick joins us to explain the “gray divorce” phenomenon & how to cover your ass—literally and legally—before your man "works late" again. Learn how to spot red flags, protect your cash, and why your vibrator collection might be considered an asset. Oh, and if your husband’s last name is Epstein... maybe just keep yours.

To purchase Nancy's book "Divorce is Not for Dummies: How to Cover Your Assets"

👉 Follow @MenOpodPodcast for more midlife madness and behind-the-scenes shenanigans

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