Macroaggressions should be pretty obvious, but even they are often ignored because they are too common. I’ve been involved in shining a light on them for some clients.

“Micro” means small and often “unimportant.” So what are “microaggressions”? Well, it certainly is rude to ask an Asian student you don’t know to help with your math homework, which is based on a stereotype. It’s equally rude to ask 6’6” black people if they’re at the university on a basketball scholarship. I know a priest who is that size and immediately says to new people that he never played sports. He’s rather dour at times, and I think it’s because he’s seen too much rudeness that other people simply think is humor. “Dour” isn’t good for a priest.

Recently, the leading candidate for superintendent of Easthampton Public Schools claimed he lost his job offer for using the word “ladies” in an email to two women on the board. He said he was “shocked” because he “grew up in a time when ‘ladies’ and ‘gentlemen’ was a sign of respect.” Some of you will remember when Ritz Carlton Hotels (before Marriott bought them and damaged the brand) had a sign in the employee areas that said, “We are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen.”

So when do we properly point out and acknowledge inappropriate behavior and language, and when are we simply the “targets” of “diversity and inclusion experts” who see their job as taking shots at anyone who doesn’t meet their particular criteria? I once heard a diversity speaker say that she wasn’t “childless,” but “child-free.” Does that make me “child-burdened”?

The House of Representatives has adopted a protocol whereby terms such as “mother, father, and step-sister” are no longer to be used, replaced by “parent and step-sibling.” “Father-in-law” becomes “parent-in-law” in this gender-neutral double-speak.

There is no doubt that the rudeness and insensitivity and worse that needs to be changed must be changed, and is intolerable. But I doubt that extends to calling a woman a “lady.”