Modern Masculinity

Jake Kennington is a structural engineer, children's book author, and founder of Actively Human who discovered that achieving his career goals left him feeling more lost than ever. After moving his family 800 miles for what he thought was his dream job, Jake realized his priorities had fundamentally changed—but he was still living a previous version of his life. In this conversation, Jake shares his framework for redefining success (REDAC: Redefine, Realign, Reconnect), why working on yourself isn't selfish when you have a family, and how a simple morning routine transformed his marriage. He opens up about the uncomfortable moment when he saw his own bad behavior mirrored in his son, why creating something and sharing it is the key to human connection, and what 15 years of fatherhood has taught him about growing up alongside your kids. This episode is for any man who feels like he's checking all the boxes externally but struggling internally, wondering if there's more to masculinity than just providing and performing.

Chapters:

1. (00:00:00) - The Moment Everything Changed: When His Son Mirrored His Worst Behavior
2. (00:01:00) - Jake's Current Challenges: Balancing Fatherhood, Engineering, and Entrepreneurship
3. (00:04:00) - The Children's Book: Writing Life Lessons for His Unborn Son
4. (00:07:00) - Growing Up Alongside Your Kids
5. (00:10:00) - When Your Kid Mirrors Your Worst Behavior
6. (00:13:00) - The 800-Mile Move That Didn't Fix Everything
7. (00:16:00) - Redefining Success: The REDAC Framework
8. (00:19:00) - Why Your Definition of Success Must Evolve
9. (00:22:00) - The Morning Routine That Saved His Marriage
10. (00:24:00) - Why Working on Yourself Isn't Selfish
11. (00:27:00) - What 40 Roommates Taught About Human Connection
12. (00:30:00) - The Simple Recipe for Human Connection
13. (00:33:00) - Modern Masculinity: Becoming a Man of Value

Links And Resources:

1. Website
2. Jake Kennington on LinkedIn
3. Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
4. Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

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Marc Azoulay, founder of Men's Therapy Online, breaks down why traditional therapy often misses the mark for men and what actually works. Marc shares his journey from impatient entrepreneur to new father, exploring how men can harness their drive without burning out. We dive deep into the millennial man's dilemma—raised to reject toxic masculinity but ending up overly feminized and lacking direction. Marc explains why community and men's groups are essential, how to master the art of knowing when to "pull your sword," and why the modern man must learn to navigate his inner world with the same skill he applies to external challenges. This episode is a blueprint for men seeking to integrate strength with emotional intelligence, responsibility with vulnerability, and power with purpose.

Chapters:

1. (00:00:00) - Meaning comes from responsibility and commitment
2. (00:02:43) - The cardinal sin of impatience and becoming a new father
3. (00:06:15) - Men and women are different but equal
4. (00:09:30) - The invisible preventative work men do
5. (00:13:42) - Inner demons: You can't outwork them, you have to face them
6. (00:18:35) - The millennial man's identity crisis: Not our fathers, but who are we?
7. (00:23:12) - Why having children forces you to become a man
8. (00:28:45) - Responsibility isn't a burden—it's a gift that gives life meaning
9. (00:35:17) - Vulnerability as a superpower: The soil doesn't lie
10. (00:40:28) - Stoicism misunderstood: It's not suppression, it's seeing reality as it is
11. (00:46:52) - When to pull your sword: Mastering the proper use of force
12. (00:51:33) - Focus on your biggest weakness, not your strengths

Links And Resources:

1. Website: https://menstherapy.online/
2. Marc Azoulay on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcmazoulay/
3. Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
4. Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Matt Myers of Nerd Fitness for what turns into an impromptu coaching session about the real challenges of staying fit as a busy dad and business owner. Matt breaks down why the fitness industry's "just be disciplined" approach fails most people, revealing that success isn't about motivation—it's about clarity, support, and learning to adjust your approach as life changes. They explore the dad bod phenomenon, food noise and GLP-1s, the myth that one fitness modality works for everyone, and why being "fitness agnostic" might be the key to long-term success. Matt shares practical strategies for working out when you only have 5-10 minutes, how to stop the yo-yo cycle of falling on and off track, and why judging yourself for not maintaining your peak fitness routine is counterproductive. This conversation will resonate with any man trying to juggle health, family, and career without losing his mind.

Chapters:

1. (00:00:00) - The Power of Self-Compassion in Fitness
2. (00:01:00) - Balancing Work, Family, and Fitness as a Dad
3. (00:04:00) - The Dad Bod Phenomenon and Life's Demands
4. (00:08:00) - Why "Just Be Disciplined" Fails Most People
5. (00:12:00) - Hector's Fitness Journey: From Peak Shape to Reality Check
6. (00:16:00) - Setting Realistic Goals for Your Current Season
7. (00:19:00) - Making Time for Fitness When Business Demands Everything
8. (00:23:00) - Learning to Dial Your Workouts Up and Down
9. (00:27:00) - Why Being Fitness Agnostic Beats Loyalty to One Method
10. (00:34:00) - GLP-1s, Food Noise, and the Future of Fitness

Links And Resources:

1. Website
2. Matt Myers on LinkedIn
3. Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
4. Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Gio Bartolomeo shares his transformative journey from being a hustling entrepreneur stuck in his head to discovering profound spiritual awakening through breathwork and plant medicine. After years of chasing success and feeling unfulfilled, a death experience during an ayahuasca ceremony showed him there was more to life than material achievement. Through breathwork, particularly after training with Wim Hof, Gio had an out-of-body experience that taught him to get out of his analytical mind and into his heart. He discusses how modern masculinity requires both strength and softness, the importance of men's community, and why following intuition over logic has transformed his life and business. Gio breaks down different types of breathwork practices, explains how to quiet the mind to hear your heart's wisdom, and shares why creativity and authentic expression are the keys to living a fulfilling life.

Chapters:

1. (00:00:00) - Gio's out-of-body breathwork experience and rebirth moment
2. (00:03:00) - Wrestling with business scaling and finding authentic purpose
3. (00:05:00) - Discovering spiritual calm amidst global chaos
4. (00:08:00) - The journey from Catholic upbringing to spiritual awakening
5. (00:12:00) - The unfulfilled entrepreneur and the search for meaning
6. (00:14:00) - First ayahuasca ceremony and confronting death
7. (00:17:00) - Meeting Wim Hof and the transformative breathwork experience
8. (00:21:00) - Getting out of your head and into your heart
9. (00:25:00) - Rediscovering intuition and curiosity as a man
10. (00:29:00) - Intention, authenticity, and creating from the heart
11. (00:33:00) - Different types of breathwork: resilience vs. exploration
12. (00:37:00) - Finding your authentic vibration and tribe
13. (00:40:00) - Defining modern masculinity: strength with softness

Links And Resources:

1. Website: https://www.elementalrhythm.com/
2. Gio Bartolomeo on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gio-bartolomeo-1a7b2566/?originalSubdomain=ca
3. Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
4. Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this episode, Larry Pruett shares hard-won wisdom from 36 years of marriage and 21 years as an entrepreneur. After scaling an e-commerce business to high six figures and now coaching married couples, Larry reveals the critical missing piece in most men's lives: meaningful relationships with other men. He breaks down the fundamental communication differences between men and women, explains why guys need three types of relationships (mentor, peer, and mentee), and shares practical strategies for understanding your spouse without playing guessing games. Larry also discusses the importance of being vulnerable in the right contexts, how to balance business success with home life, and why ancient wisdom still applies to modern relationships. This conversation is packed with actionable advice for men who want to build stronger marriages, deeper friendships, and leave fewer regrets.

Chapters:

1. (00:00:00) - The Power of Asking Questions in Relationships
2. (00:01:00) - From High Six Figures to Starting Over: Larry's Journey
3. (00:03:00) - Why Men Need Other Men (Not Just Their Wives)
4. (00:06:00) - The Missing Mentor: How to Find Guidance at Every Life Stage
5. (00:09:00) - What Makes Someone Worthy of Respect? (A Powerful Exercise)
6. (00:11:00) - The Mask Men Wear: When Vulnerability Goes Wrong
7. (00:14:00) - The 3 Types of Relationships Every Man Needs
8. (00:17:00) - Why You Keep Miscommunicating with Your Wife
9. (00:20:00) - The House Analogy: How Men and Women Think Differently
10. (00:23:00) - Stop Playing the Guessing Game (Just Ask Her What She Means)
11. (00:25:00) - The Baked Potato Story: A Perfect Example of Male/Female Communication
12. (00:28:00) - Why Men Jump to Fixing (And When to Just Sit and Listen)
13. (00:31:00) - Modern Masculinity = Ancient Masculinity (Why the Principles Never Change)

Links And Resources:

1. Website
2. Larry on LinkedIn
3. Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
4. Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Dr. Barry Davis spent 38 years as a college baseball coach before stepping away to write, speak, and consult on leadership and emotional intelligence. In this episode, he opens up about the personal challenges of transitioning from "coach" to a new identity, the evolution of young athletes over four decades, and how his own coaching style transformed from authoritative to emotionally intelligent. Barry shares candid insights about parenting in the age of technology, the importance of self-discipline and excellence in everything we do, and why creating a safe environment for failure is crucial for developing resilient leaders. His new book, "Old Dog New Tricks: The Power of Leading With Emotional Intelligence," tells the story of a volatile coach who must learn to lead differently—a story that mirrors Barry's own journey from a hard-nosed coach to someone who now prioritizes emotional connection, intentional listening, and creating spaces where people can thrive.

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - Creating Safe Environments for Growth and Challenge
• (00:01:00) - Introduction and Barry's Coaching Journey
• (00:03:00) - Challenges in Establishing Routine and Family Connections
• (00:06:00) - Transitioning Identity from Coach to Speaker
• (00:10:00) - Three Core Values: Self-Discipline, Excellence, and Fulfillment
• (00:15:00) - Athletics as Training Ground for Life Skills
• (00:19:00) - Excellence in the Small Things
• (00:23:00) - Evolution of Young Athletes Over Four Decades
• (00:30:00) - Parenting Philosophy and Creating Safe Learning Environments
• (00:33:00) - Best Parents Stay Outside the Circle
• (00:37:00) - Finding Your Own Path and Motivation
• (00:39:00) - Writing "Old Dog New Tricks" and Emotional Intelligence
• (00:43:00) - Where to Find the Book and Connect

Links And Resources:

• Website: https://drbarrydavis.com/
• Dr. Barry Davis on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbarrydavis42/
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this deep dive with fitness expert and longtime friend Nate Palmer, we explore the cutting edge of men's health optimization—from peptides and GLP-1s to the fundamentals that most guys ignore. Nate shares his personal journey struggling with injury and mental health while being unable to train, revealing how breath work became his new coping mechanism when physical expression wasn't available. We break down the truth about popular compounds like BPC-157, CJC, and semaglutide, discussing how they work, who should consider them, and why they're the natural evolution in response to our toxic food environment. Nate explains why walking and sleep might be more powerful than any supplement, how to train while fasting without wasting your workouts, and why the aesthetic versus strength debate misses the point entirely. We also get into the controversial world of TRT, the surprising cognitive benefits of creatine and nicotine, and why the next decade will reveal a stark divide between those who take longevity seriously and those who don't. This conversation is packed with actionable insights for any man looking to optimize his health, performance, and aging trajectory.

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - Why Success Doesn't Protect You From Struggle
• (00:02:00) - Training as Therapy: Using Physical Expression to Process Life
• (00:04:00) - When You Can't Train: Finding New Ways to Cope
• (00:06:00) - The Compound That Cut My Recovery Time in Half
• (00:09:00) - GLP-1s Aren't Just for Weight Loss: A Response to Modern Food
• (00:13:00) - The Peptide Categories Every Man Should Understand
• (00:19:00) - The Unsexy Truth: Walking and Sleep Beat Most Supplements
• (00:22:00) - Stop Chasing Aesthetics: What Actually Matters for Longevity
• (00:27:00) - TRT for Your Mind: The Mental Health Benefits No One Talks About
• (00:32:00) - How to Actually Track What's Working: Blood Work and HRV
• (00:36:00) - Inside My Daily Stack: What I Take and Why
• (00:40:00) - Creatine for Your Brain + The Nicotine Conversation
• (00:42:00) - Training Fasted? You're Probably Wasting Your Effort
• (00:45:00) - Where to Get Started: Resources and Products

Links And Resources:

• Website
• Nate Palmer on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Alex Charfen returns to share his transformative journey from business optimization to internal healing work. After coaching thousands of entrepreneurs to over $100 million in revenue, Alex took a sabbatical to focus on sexual shadow work, tantric practices, and processing childhood trauma. In this raw conversation, he reveals why men are systematically traumatizing themselves through pornography, how to create genuine emotional safety in relationships (not just physical or financial safety), and why the belief that "50% of your thoughts will always be negative" is fundamentally wrong. Alex explains the critical difference between suppression and containment, shares his experience overcoming abandonment issues through EMDR therapy, and offers practical guidance on rational self-pleasure practices that can rewire decades of conditioning. He challenges modern masculinity narratives and provides a roadmap for men to step into true presence, process their triggers, and create the secure attachment they've been seeking. This episode is essential listening for any man who wants to understand why emotional containment—not fixing, processing, or withdrawing—is the key to everything he wants in life.

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - The Emotional Safety Women Actually Need
• (00:03:40) - Why 50% Negative Thoughts Is a Lie You've Been Sold
• (00:07:15) - Processing Abandonment Issues: From Infant Surgery to Adult Anxiety
• (00:12:45) - The Four Safety Types (And Why You're Missing the Most Important One)
• (00:18:30) - Masculine Presence: What "Being Seen and Heard" Really Means
• (00:25:20) - The Modern Masculinity Crisis: Sharing From the Wound vs. Sharing From Healing
• (00:30:15) - Sexual Energy Transmutation: What Napoleon Hill Got Wrong
• (00:38:25) - Pornography's Hidden Cost: Instant Gratification, Hyperstimulation & the Victim Position
• (00:47:20) - The Rational Self-Pleasure Practice That Changes Everything
• (00:56:45) - Modern Masculinity Redefined: Presence Over Performance

Links And Resources:

• Website
• Alex Charfen on LinkedIn
• Amplafy Media
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn:
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this raw and unapologetic conversation, first-generation attorney Tyler Vance challenges everything you've been told about modern masculinity. From walking on the car side of the sidewalk to refusing to let political correctness dilute what it means to be a man, Tyler brings an old-school mentality to a generation that desperately needs it. He breaks down why the term "toxic masculinity" has been weaponized against natural male behavior, shares his philosophy on providing and protecting as a man's core purpose, and explains why he sleeps on the door side of the bed. This isn't about going back in time—it's about reclaiming the essential traits that make men valuable partners, fathers, and leaders. Tyler also opens up about navigating the legal world with integrity, the collapse of common sense in modern society, and why he believes most men have lost their sense of purpose. If you're tired of apologizing for being a man, this episode is for you.

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - Meet Tyler Vance: The First-Gen Attorney Who Refuses to Apologize
• (00:02:15) - From Courtroom to Content: How Legal Writing Shaped His Voice
• (00:05:30) - The Death of Common Sense: Why Politics Has Lost Its Mind
• (00:09:45) - Priced Out: The Cost of Living Crisis Destroying Young Men's Futures
• (00:14:20) - Old School in a New World: Defending Traditional Masculinity
• (00:19:10) - Inside the Courtroom: Strategy, Integrity, and Winning Cases
• (00:25:35) - The Toxic Masculinity Lie: Why Natural Male Behavior Is Under Attack
• (00:30:15) - The Provider Mentality: Why Real Men Protect and Provide
• (00:34:40) - Finding Purpose: How Fatherhood Changes Everything for Men
• (00:37:10) - What It Really Means to Be a Man in 2025

Links And Resources:

• Tyler Vance on LinkedIn
• Tyler Vance on Instagram
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Cletus Coffey, former professional athlete turned men's coach, shares his journey from hiding behind athletic identity to discovering authentic masculinity. After a four-year career in the Canadian Football League and Arena Football League, Cletus faced an identity crisis when his career ended at 28. Through two divorces, single fatherhood with three children, and toxic relationships, he learned that true strength comes from vulnerability, not performance. Cletus discusses the epidemic of men suffering in silence, the importance of morning routines for single fathers, how triggers reveal unhealed wounds, and why most men struggle to answer "who are you?" without mentioning career or family. He introduces his Be The Torch program, designed to help men create lives they desire rather than fitting life into their business. This episode tackles the reality of modern masculinity: choosing freedom, vulnerability, and truth over societal programming and the exhausting performance of being someone you're not.

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - The Single Father's Reality: Morning Routines and Self-Care
• (00:01:00) - From Pro Athlete to Lost Identity: When Your Career Defines You
• (00:09:00) - Who Are You Really? The Question Most Men Can't Answer
• (00:13:00) - The Identity Crisis: Life After Professional Sports
• (00:18:00) - The Two Deepest Wounds All Men Carry: Abandonment and Worthiness
• (00:23:00) - Your Triggers Are Mirrors: What's Really Behind Your Anger
• (00:26:00) - The Morning Routine That Changed Everything for This Single Dad
• (00:32:00) - Co-Parenting After Divorce: From Anger to Collaboration
• (00:38:00) - The Difference Between Correction and Criticism in Parenting
• (00:42:00) - Why Men Are Suffering in Silence and What We Can Do About It

Links And Resources:

• Cletus Coffey's Morning Routine
• Book a Call with Cletus
• Cletus on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!