Modern Masculinity

Don Ross opens up about his journey from porn addiction and shame to helping men build authentic friendships and discover true manhood. Don shares how confession and vulnerability became the gateway to his freedom, and why modern society has made it nearly impossible for men to connect meaningfully with other men. He introduces his framework of the Five Marks of Manhood—strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance—as a practical roadmap for men seeking to level up in their lives. The discussion explores why men need tribes, not just nuclear families, and how the loss of male-only spaces has left an entire generation of men isolated and struggling. Don challenges the cultural narrative that porn is just a sex issue, revealing the deeper wounds around self-worth and identity that drive addictive behaviors. This episode is essential listening for any man feeling stuck, lonely, or searching for a clearer path to becoming who he's meant to be.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Why Adulthood Blindsides Most Men
• 00:00:44 - Meet Don Ross: From Addiction to Author
• 00:01:36 - The Modern Man's Crisis
• 00:02:21 - Why Men Can't Make Friends Anymore
• 00:02:59 - Living a Double Life: Don's Secret Struggle
• 00:09:17 - The Power of Confession: Breaking Free Through Vulnerability
• 00:14:33 - What Does It Really Mean to Be a Man?
• 00:18:50 - The Truth About Porn: It's Not About Sex
• 00:20:54 - HALTS: Your Warning System for Self-Sabotage
• 00:22:55 - The Five Marks Every Man Must Master
• 00:24:22 - Why You Need a Tribe, Not Just a Family
• 00:26:58 - The Male Loneliness Epidemic
• 00:32:28 - How to Build Your Brotherhood
• 00:39:17 - Writing the Book: What Surprised Me Most
• 00:40:42 - Get the Book + Free Freedom Guide

Links And Resources:

• Don Ross's book: How to Be a Man - Available on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/2w7m67y8
• Free guide: Pathway to Freedom - manhoodtribes.com/freedom
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

John Ulsh was given a 3% chance of survival after a horrific car accident 17 years ago left him paralyzed, shattered his pelvis, broke his back, and forced him to endure over 45 surgeries. Told he'd never walk again, John defied the odds when his 10-year-old daughter told him she missed her "old daddy." What followed was an extraordinary journey of physical and mental transformation—from 90 milligrams of morphine twice daily to squatting 400 pounds and benching over 300. In this raw conversation, John shares the reality of survivor's remorse, the loss of his best friend to suicide, the dark periods where he wished he'd died, and the hard-won wisdom about commitment, falling in love with the process, and building a life worth living after tragedy. This isn't just an inspirational story—it's a tactical blueprint for overcoming setbacks, managing pain without narcotics, and understanding what it truly means to be a modern man who refuses to quit.

Chapters:

• (00:00:00) - Introduction: The Man Who Survived the Impossible
• (00:03:00) - The Accident: 125 MPH Impact and 3% Survival Odds
• (00:09:00) - Finding Commitment When Everything Falls Apart
• (00:14:00) - Why Setbacks Don't Scare Him Anymore
• (00:20:00) - The Daughter Who Changed Everything
• (00:28:00) - Letting Go of Who You Were to Become Who You Need to Be
• (00:36:00) - Why Shortcuts and Quick Fixes Always Fail
• (00:42:00) - The Dark Years and Giving Yourself Grace
• (00:46:00) - His Best Friend's Suicide and 12 Years of Silence
• (00:54:00) - Defining Modern Masculinity: Self-Aware and Unapologetic

Links And Resources:

• John Ulsh's Website
• Pre-order John's book
• Follow John on YouTube
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this raw and unfiltered conversation, host Hector Santiesteban sits down with Rich D’Ambrosio to unpack the evolving definition of masculinity. From divorce, fatherhood, and cultural conditioning to capitalism’s influence on male identity, they dive deep into how men can reclaim agency, embrace mindfulness, and move beyond outdated scripts of “provider” and “buffoon.” Together, they explore the balance between vulnerability and strength, the role of polarity in relationships, and why liberation is the ultimate path toward becoming an integrated, modern man.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to the Modern Masculinity Podcast
• 00:00:53 - Meet Rich.
• 00:02:54 - Using mindfulness to find a "North Star".
• 00:05:00 - Reframing separation as an opportunity for growth.
• 00:08:16 - Questioning the preconceived image of a father.
• 00:09:00 - The struggle to find identity beyond family and career roles.
• 00:10:44 - Viewing a past relationship as a formative "crucible".
• 00:11:02 - A wake-up call about minimizing personal talents.
• 00:13:09 - How men deprioritize themselves for family roles.
• 00:14:11 - Discussing the post-feminist movement's effect on men.
• 00:16:27 - The concept of "Mindful Masculinity".
• 00:17:22 - Proposing feminism as a model for healthy masculinity.
• 00:20:47 - Explaining relationship polarity using a simple example.
• 00:30:52 - Redefining men's career paths beyond traditional roles.
• 00:31:44 - A call for men to liberate and redefine themselves.
• 00:35:17 - Capitalism as an alternative theory for men's struggles.
• 00:37:06 - Where to find Rich online.

Links And Resources:

• Rich’s Substack: Mindful Masculinity
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with leadership coach and Dad Nation host Mitchell Osmond to explore what it truly means to be a present, purpose-driven man in today’s world. Together, they unpack the myth of work-life “balance,” discuss how to integrate leadership at home and in business, and reflect on how modern men can build a meaningful legacy through alignment, confidence, and intentional fatherhood. Mitchell shares his journey of breaking generational patterns, redefining success beyond titles, and learning how to “be a B-minus dad” in different seasons of life. With vulnerable storytelling, practical insights, and a mission-first mindset, this episode speaks directly to men ready to own their role at home and in the world.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - The Real Talk Begins: Meet Mitchell Osmond
• 00:01:48 - Shifting Gears: When Life Demands a Pivot
• 00:02:34 - Juggling Fatherhood and the Grind
• 00:03:48 - What Does It Mean to Be a Man Today?
• 00:07:02 - The Moments That Made Me
• 00:12:31 - Finding Yourself Without Losing Everything
• 00:17:41 - Showing Up, Even When It's Messy
• 00:28:52 - Fatherhood Isn’t a Role—It’s the Legacy
• 00:31:00 - Final Words and Where to Go Next

Links And Resources:

• Website
• Dad Nation Podcast
• Dad Nation on YouTube
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this raw and soul-stirring conversation, certified life transformation coach and spiritual leader Andrew L. Anderson joins Hector to explore what it truly means to be a man in today's world. From taking in children whose parents are incarcerated to rewriting deep-rooted beliefs formed in childhood, Andrew opens up about his own journey from performance-driven living to heart-centered masculinity. Together, they unpack topics like emotional intelligence, modern fatherhood, identity crises, and the healing power of service, gratitude, and nature. If you've ever wrestled with anger, frustration, or not feeling “good enough,” this episode offers both practical insight and compassionate encouragement. Discover why wholeness—not perfection—is the new masculine strength, and how aligning your head, heart, and gut can lead to lasting inner freedom.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to the Modern Masculinity Podcast
• 00:01:50 - Who Is Andrew L. Anderson?
• 00:02:23 - Life’s Curveballs and How to Respond
• 00:02:51 - Holding Space for Your People
• 00:04:19 - Leading with Integrity, Not Ego
• 00:04:52 - Fatherhood That Transforms the Man
• 00:09:34 - Finding Identity in a Noisy World
• 00:17:16 - Aligning Head, Heart, and Gut
• 00:32:20 - Tools to Elevate Your Growth
• 00:34:34 - Final Reflections & How to Connect

Links And Resources:

• Website
• Andrew Anderson on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Pablo—music producer and somatic breathwork practitioner—for a vulnerable conversation about navigating purpose, presence, and the paradox of modern masculinity. As a single man looking ahead to fatherhood, Pablo questions how much of his time should be spent on personal development versus being of service to others. Together, they explore the tension between self-work and contribution, the quiet weight of unrealized potential, and the profound shifts that happen when a man begins to ask, “What am I really doing with my energy?” Through honest dialogue and embodied wisdom, this episode offers a refreshing take on masculine growth, responsibility, and preparing for what's next—without losing who you are right now.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Who Is Pablo? The Path Begins
• 00:01:24 - The Quiet Battles Men Carry
• 00:03:48 - Dating, Depth, and Masculine Energy
• 00:07:43 - When Casual Isn’t Emotionless
• 00:13:02 - Breathwork, Trauma, and Real Healing
• 00:21:01 - Masculinity Reimagined: Final Reflections

Links And Resources:

• Pablo’s Music Production
• Pablo’s Somatic Breathwork
• Pablo on Instagram
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Chris Gray — a direct response marketing strategist and introspective father — to unpack the daily dance between ego, awareness, and authentic leadership. Chris shares how years of meditation and mindfulness have reshaped his approach to business, family, and self-acceptance. Using vivid analogies — from the ego as a GPS to a well-meaning but overbearing parent — he offers practical wisdom for men ready to stop fighting themselves and start integrating every part of who they are. Whether you’re a dad, a founder, or just a man learning to carry your weight with grace, this episode will leave you asking: who’s driving — you or your ego?

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome & Meet Chris Gray
• 00:01:24 - Diving In: What We’re Really Carrying
• 00:01:56 - The Path of Awareness: Making Peace with Ego
• 00:04:32 - The Inner Dialogue: Listening to Yourself
• 00:07:24 - Spiritual Lessons & New Perspectives
• 00:12:26 - Redefining Masculinity & Growth
• 00:19:47 - Why the Hard Stuff Matters
• 00:25:44 - Closing Reflections & Takeaways

Links And Resources:

• Chris's Website
• Chris Gray on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector welcomes Dr. Michael Brabant, a transformational psychologist and founder of Candor & Coherence, to explore what it really means to evolve as a man in today’s world. From confronting inherited patterns of stoicism and shame to understanding the power of emotional multiplicity through Internal Family Systems (IFS), this conversation is a masterclass in modern manhood. Michael offers real talk on the grind culture trap, the necessity of rest, and how true fulfillment comes not from chasing success, but from aligning with your soul. The episode calls on listeners to redefine strength—not as control or domination, but as the courage to feel deeply, grieve honestly, and live with unwavering authenticity. If you've ever felt like you were doing all the right things and still felt off-center, this episode might be the nudge your inner compass has been waiting for.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - A Different Kind of Masculine Conversation Begins
• 00:00:37 - Why Your Inner Parts Might Be Running the Show
• 00:01:59 - What Today’s Man Is Secretly Struggling With
• 00:02:57 - How I Built a Business That Didn’t Betray My Soul
• 00:04:32 - Escaping Survival Mode: The Real Upgrade
• 00:07:48 - The Inner Voices That Shape Your Life
• 00:12:07 - Masculine Archetypes Aren’t Just Theory
• 00:15:39 - Why Men Must Grieve to Grow
• 00:20:23 - The Real Process of Shedding Old Selves
• 00:29:45 - What Rest Reveals About Who’s In Charge
• 00:35:02 - Addiction, Avoidance, and Facing What’s Real
• 00:43:04 - Rethinking Masculinity from the Inside Out

Links And Resources:

• Dr. Michael Brabant on LinkedIn
• Candor and Coherence
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Zach Richards, co-founder of REI Capital Guys, to explore the quiet power of private lending and the deeper meaning of financial freedom. Zach breaks down how true freedom isn’t about flashy cars or massive portfolios—it’s about owning your time, minimizing stress, and building systems that let you live life on your terms. From the difference between risky speculation and dependable cash flow, to the invisible labor of family life, this conversation hits hard for any man seeking more than hustle—someone striving for balance, stability, and intentional growth.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Why This Episode Might Change the Way You See Freedom
• 00:00:38 - Zach Richards: From Code to Capital
• 00:01:52 - How Private Lending Quietly Changed His Life
• 00:03:04 - Balancing the Mission and the Marriage
• 00:03:26 - The Moment Everything Pivoted
• 00:05:35 - Redefining Who You Are (and What You Want)
• 00:09:31 - What Real Financial Freedom Feels Like
• 00:14:09 - Being a Provider Without Losing Yourself
• 00:31:28 - Staying Steady in a World on Fire
• 00:33:31 - One Final Thought Every Man Should Hear

Links And Resources:

• Website: REI Capital Guys Community
• Free eBook: Private Lending Guide
• Zach Richards on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with certified men's coach Damon Mitchell for an unfiltered and enlightening conversation on meditation, masculinity, and the pursuit of wholeness. Damon shares how sobriety and meditation reshaped his identity and gave him the tools to engage more consciously in relationships — not just with others, but with himself. Together, they unpack the shifting roles of men in a post-feminist society, the quiet strength in contemplative practices, and the often unspoken struggles of modern manhood. Whether you’re navigating identity beyond addiction, redefining masculinity, or just looking for a more grounded way to show up in your life — this episode is an open invitation to explore your inner terrain with honesty and humility.

Expect no fluff, just real talk on emotional resilience, self-awareness, and the messy, beautiful work of becoming whole.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - What We Were Never Taught About Being Men
• 00:02:48 - Meeting the Man Behind the Transformation
• 00:03:22 - From Addiction to Awareness: Damon's Turning Point
• 00:03:55 - Why Most Men Can’t Heal Alone
• 00:09:15 - The Practice That Created Space (and Saved Him)
• 00:14:41 - Can Meditation Make You a Better Man?
• 00:20:10 - Masculinity Isn’t Broken — It’s Evolving
• 00:22:55 - The Father Wound and the Pendulum Swing
• 00:24:45 - From Resistance to Reverence: Learning Stillness
• 00:26:09 - What Most Guys Get Wrong About Meditation
• 00:30:51 - Does Meditation Conflict with Religion?
• 00:36:55 - If You’re Just Starting, Start Here
• 00:42:08 - The Invitation: What Kind of Man Are You Becoming?

Links And Resources:

• Free Walking Meditation MP3 with Damon
• The Intentionalize My Life's Website
• Modern Masculinity Podcast Form
• Substack
• Damon on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!