Modern Masculinity

Hector sits down with Shaun Emerson, Development Lead at MenLiving, to explore the raw, unfiltered truths about modern manhood. Together, they dig into the emotional weight men silently carry—loneliness, anxiety, and the societal pressure to “suck it up.” Shaun shares how his transition from tech executive to nonprofit leader reshaped his understanding of masculinity, revealing the power of community, emotional honesty, and radical self-exploration. From generational programming to relationship dynamics, the episode asks: what does it mean to be a modern man in today’s world—and how can we redefine masculinity to include strength and sensitivity? Whether you’re new to men’s work or deep in the process, this episode will challenge you, affirm you, and invite you into a deeper connection—with yourself and your brothers.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - What Does It Mean to Be a Man Today?
• 00:01:42 - Shaun Emerson Steps Into the Circle
• 00:02:31 - From Corporate Hustle to Conscious Connection
• 00:04:08 - Why Most Men Don’t Talk (and Why That’s Changing)
• 00:06:31 - Making It Normal for Men to Feel
• 00:10:50 - The Power of Inner Work
• 00:12:35 - Alone in a Crowd: The Hidden Epidemic
• 00:15:47 - Masculine, Feminine & the Energy Between
• 00:18:57 - Real Stories, Real Feelings
• 00:39:14 - One Last Truth & Where to Go Next

Links And Resources:

• MenLiving.org
• 📧 Email Shaun: [email protected]
• Shaun Emerson on LinkedIn 
• 📖 Recommended Book: Rescuing Our Sons by Dr. John Duffy
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Dal Houston — attorney, rancher, motivational speaker, and self-proclaimed “eccentric cowboy” — to challenge the worn-out scripts of modern masculinity. Together, they unpack the deep emotional power of personal style, the importance of expressing your individuality (even if it means rocking British riding boots to a UFC fight), and why aging should be about speeding up, not slowing down.

From growing up in a blue-collar world with little room for uniqueness, to discovering the grounding force of tall cowboy boots and bespoke fashion, Dal offers a refreshing, grounded, and unapologetic take on what it means to be a man today. This episode is a wake-up call for any man stuck in a life of “soul-deadening” sameness, reminding us that life should be lived “hard, fun, and full of expression.”

If you’ve ever felt out of place while trying to fit in — this one’s for you.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – Meet the Eccentric Cowboy Who’s Redefining Masculinity
• 00:00:50 – Why What You Wear Could Be the Key to Who You Are
• 00:01:56 – From Shy Rancher to Fashion-Forward Philosopher
• 00:03:19 – Getting Stared At and Still Showing Up: The Price of Authenticity
• 00:05:27 – Stop Copying. Start Dressing Like You Mean It.
• 00:14:48 – Style Isn’t Trendy. It’s Timeless (Here’s How to Find Yours)
• 00:28:26 – Law, Livestock, Leather: How to Be All of Yourself at Once
• 00:39:51 – Don’t Slow Down. This Is What Modern Masculinity Really Looks Like

Links And Resources:

• Website: www.dalhouston.com
• Dal on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Todd Miechiels joins Hector Santiesteban to explore the transformational journey from defining manhood by titles and income to redefining it through faith, humility, and service. Todd shares his call from the business world into the mission field, revealing how surrendering traditional measures of success led to a life of deeper intimacy with God and others. Together, they unpack how modern men can find purpose not in what they produce, but in who they become—and why knowing and sharing your personal story is one of the most courageous and impactful acts of leadership today.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Called Into Purpose
• 00:01:52 - A Man Interrupted
• 00:02:58 - Wrestling With God
• 00:04:53 - Reawakening the Soul
• 00:07:18 - Where Is God Now?
• 00:09:04 - Doubt, Faith, and Identity
• 00:13:34 - Brotherhood and Becoming
• 00:22:54 - Learning From the Carpenter
• 00:27:02 - What Grace Really Means
• 00:27:22 - An Invitation to Skeptics
• 00:27:33 - Why He Chose the Cross
• 00:28:49 - A Love That Costs Everything
• 00:29:19 - Stories That Shape Us
• 00:31:12 - The Rescue Begins
• 00:32:48 - God Speaks in Many Ways
• 00:37:47 - The Resurrection Reframed
• 00:45:31 - Redefining Manhood Through Faith

Links And Resources:

• Todd's Personal Website
• Story Stewardship Foundation
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with award-winning podcaster and fellow storyteller Matt Gilhooly to explore the unraveling of Hector’s past relationship and the identity crisis that followed his greatest professional success. Together, they peel back the layers of ego, childhood conditioning, and the craving for external validation that many men silently carry. With emotional honesty and unflinching vulnerability, Hector shares what it means to look “successful” on the outside but feel disconnected on the inside — and how that dissonance became the catalyst for a new journey toward wholeness. This episode is a raw look into the modern masculine experience: the hidden shame, the healing process, and the redemptive power of reflection.

Chapters:

• 0:00:00 - Welcome to the Episode That Changes Everything
• 00:02:03 - Opening the Vault: Where the Real Story Begins
• 00:02:59 - Young Love, Old Patterns: The Roots of It All
• 00:05:07 - Success, Ego, and the Illusion of “Having It All”
• 00:09:44 - Marriage Starts Fast… But So Do the Cracks
• 00:13:25 - Craving Control While Losing Connection
• 00:15:18 - When Identity Collides with Intimacy
• 00:17:42 - The Slow Burn of Resentment
• 00:20:11 - Seeking Peace but Breeding Distance
• 00:22:47 - The Relationship Becomes a Mirror You Avoid
• 00:25:32 - Fatherhood Hits Harder Than Expected
• 00:33:56 - Health Scares, Family Shifts, and the Weight of It All
• 00:34:53 - The “Perfect” Neighborhood That Didn’t Fix Everything
• 00:35:36 - Parenting Together While Drifting Apart
• 00:36:47 - When Validation Replaces Connection
• 00:37:30 - The Vasectomy That Said More Than Words
• 00:39:39 - Speaking, But Not Hearing: When Communication Fails
• 00:42:43 - Spiraling: The Pain Beneath the Patterns
• 00:45:35 - Reclaiming Identity After Losing Yourself
• 00:56:27 - Co-Parenting in the Aftermath: Navigating a New Normal
• 00:01:00:56 - What Purpose Feels Like After the Breakdown
• 00:01:03:28 - Wrapping Up: Reflections, Resources, and What’s Next

Links And Resources:

• Website
• The Life Shift Podcast
• Instagram
• Twitter/X
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector Santiesteban welcomes back Ed Frauenheim, co-author of Reinventing Masculinity and co-founder of The Teal Team, for a timely and timeless discussion on evolving manhood. Ed takes us deep into his current work challenging the "Tough Guy Show" culture—especially in traditionally masculine spaces like the ski industry—and sheds light on how that outdated performance is mirrored in global leadership. Together, they unpack the emotional, societal, and spiritual costs of stoicism, and why today's man must learn to embrace vulnerability, interdependence, and self-reflection to grow. Whether you're navigating fatherhood, rethinking your career, or searching for community, this conversation offers a compass toward something more grounded, authentic, and liberating.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to the Masculine Shift
• 00:01:39 - Chaos, Headlines & Our Mental State
• 00:02:39 - Rethinking Manhood in Real Time
• 00:04:49 - Panic, Purpose, and Personal Truths
• 00:06:59 - Scrolling, Boundaries & Staying Grounded
• 00:09:06 - Power, Pressure & Performing Masculinity
• 00:12:45 - Is Vulnerability Still Seen as Weakness?
• 00:15:08 - Trump, Culture, and the Mirror of Manhood
• 00:18:22 - What Are We Teaching Young Men?
• 00:21:30 - Redefining Strength Through Collaboration
• 00:23:42 - Who’s Really Holding the Power?
• 00:29:17 - Hope for Young Men & the Road Ahead

Links And Resources:

• Website
• The Teal Team
• Ed Frauenheim on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector is joined by Kevin Cronister—father of five, cybercrimes detective, and CEO of Guardian Training Solutions—to explore one of the most urgent and uncomfortable threats facing modern families: the growing epidemic of online child exploitation. Kevin pulls back the curtain on the grooming process, shares how predators infiltrate games like Roblox and Fortnite, and explains why a strong, present father figure is the #1 deterrent to child predators. This episode delivers vital tools, real-world stories, and a framework for men who want to embody the protector archetype in a rapidly evolving digital world. It's not just about fear—it's about informed, masculine leadership that protects the most vulnerable. If you're a father or aspire to be one, this episode is a must-listen.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - Kicking Off a Must-Hear Conversation for Every Man
• 00:00:56 - Enter Kevin Chronister: Protector, Father, Detective
• 00:01:11 - How the Predator Playbook Has Evolved
• 00:02:00 - Why Dads Can’t Afford to Sit This One Out
• 00:03:35 - Kevin's Raw Story: Juggling Fatherhood and Fighting Crime
• 00:07:32 - 36 Million Reasons This Crisis Can’t Be Ignored
• 00:10:25 - How Online Predators Are Grooming Kids—And Getting Away With It
• 00:17:10 - The Superpower Predators Fear Most: An Engaged Father
• 00:20:03 - The Digital Defense Plan Every Parent Needs
• 00:23:38 - “He’s Just a Friend Online” – Think Again
• 00:24:26 - AI, Deepfakes, and the Future of Predatory Tech
• 00:25:39 - Screen Time Rules That Could Save a Life
• 00:28:33 - Spotting the Subtle Signs of a Grooming Attempt
• 00:34:56 - When Kids Change: What Behavior Might Be Telling You
• 00:39:19 - Easy Wins That Make a Big Safety Impact
• 00:44:48 - Where to Go Next: Tools, Resources, and Real Talk

Links And Resources:

• Kevin on LinkedIn
• Guardian Training Solutions
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Fatherhood today comes with unique challenges—especially in a world dominated by screens, shifting gender roles, and the increasing struggles of young men. In this episode, Tom Bresnahan, a former Hollywood actor turned mentor and therapist, shares his journey from entertainment to empowering teenage boys. He discusses the impact of technology on young minds, the importance of emotional intelligence in parenting, and the delicate balance between discipline and understanding. Whether you're a solo dad, co-parent, or simply a man seeking to break generational cycles, this conversation provides deep insights and actionable strategies for raising resilient, emotionally healthy children.

Chapters

• 00:00:00 - Kicking Off the Conversation: Meet Tom Bresnahan
• 00:02:08 - From Hollywood to Helping Young Men: Tom’s Journey
• 00:03:59 - The Reality of Modern Fatherhood: Challenges & Pressures
• 00:06:39 - Raising Emotionally Strong Kids: The Power of EQ
• 00:11:33 - Tech, Screens & Social Media: How They’re Changing Our Boys
• 00:14:55 - Men’s Role in a Rapidly Changing World
• 00:17:56 - Facing Personal Struggles & Breaking Old Patterns
• 00:20:42 - Raising Boys Who Thrive: What They Need from Us
• 00:22:49 - The Critical Role of Mentors in a Young Man’s Life
• 00:23:04 - What Happened to Rites of Passage? Why Boys Need Them
• 00:24:52 - The Me Too Era & The Modern Man’s Dilemma
• 00:25:45 - Masculinity in Crisis: Why Men Feel Lost
• 00:26:45 - Breaking the Stigma: It’s Okay to Be a Man
• 00:27:31 - Where Do Men Fit in Today’s Society?
• 00:28:31 - The Masculinity Crisis: How We Fix It
• 00:34:38 - Fatherhood Done Right: Key Lessons for Raising Boys
• 00:37:09 - Practical Support: Programs & Resources for Parents
• 00:41:11 - Defining Modern Masculinity: Strength, Balance & Purpose

Links And Resources:

• Tom on LinkedIn
• Take Back Control by Tom Bresnahan
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Jeff Hittner—executive coach, educator, and founder of Ambitious Dads—to unpack the evolving landscape of fatherhood and modern masculinity. From emotional regulation during your child’s tantrums to building a fatherhood philosophy that aligns with your values, Jeff explores the daily challenges and triumphs of being a present, intentional dad. Together, they dismantle outdated stereotypes, explore the science of male bonding, and share practical insights on cultivating deeper emotional intelligence. If you're a dad, a future father, or just a man navigating growth, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and inspired to show up more fully.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – Kicking things off with gratitude and grounding vibes.
• 00:01:05 – Enter Jeff Hittner: Founder of Ambitious Dads and fatherhood trailblazer.
• 00:02:46 – Emotional regulation isn’t just for kids—Jeff shares the real inner work.
• 00:05:32 – Screw-ups happen. Here’s why repair and apology are your superpowers.
• 00:10:15 – Can you be vulnerable and still strong? This convo says hell yes.
• 00:22:50 – What’s your fatherhood philosophy? Start creating your vision now.
• 00:26:38 – The modern dad is here—and he’s way more than a provider.
• 00:31:36 – Yes, your biology changes when you become a dad. Here’s the science.
• 00:41:20 – Final reflections + where to follow Jeff for more dad-fueled wisdom.

Links And Resources:

• Jeff Hittner’s Substack: Ambitious Dads
• Jeff Hittner on LinkedIn
• Ambitious Dads Program: Learn More Here.
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

In this episode, Hector has a great talk with his longtime friend and Modern Man Podcast host, Ted Phaeton, about the weight men carry—fatherhood, marriage, business, and the relentless pursuit of being that guy in every arena. Ted shares how he’s juggling the chaos of raising a newborn while running his podcast and coaching business, all while staying dialed in on his health, discipline, and leadership. They get into why men need to embrace both their strength and their softness, how breathwork and Muay Thai are shaping Ted’s ability to lead, and why the “have it all” myth is setting guys up for failure. If you’ve ever felt stretched too thin, stuck between your responsibilities and your purpose, this one’s for you.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 - The Weight We Carry as Men
• 00:00:56 - Newborns, Business, and the Chaos in Between
• 00:02:46 - Keeping the Plates Spinning: Fatherhood vs. Career
• 00:04:42 - What Every Man Needs to Hear (But Rarely Does)
• 00:10:31 - Mastering the Clock: Time, Discipline, and Execution
• 00:16:37 - Staying Steady When the Storm Hits
• 00:18:42 - Pressure, Peace, and the Art of Staying Cool
• 00:22:45 - Brotherhood, Breathwork, and the Real Meaning of Self-Care
• 00:23:35 - Warrior & Poet: The Full Spectrum of a Man
• 00:25:26 - Life Has Seasons—Are You Built for All of Them?
• 00:27:45 - The Most Dangerous Man in the Room
• 00:30:22 - Who You Are vs. Who They Told You to Be
• 00:33:09 - The Four Codes Every Man Should Live By
• 00:36:26 - Building a Life That Works—Not Just One That Pays
• 00:38:05 - The Trap of Chasing the Wrong Success
• 00:40:54 - Your Next Steps—And Why This Conversation Matters

Links and Resources:

• Ted on LinkedIn
• The Modern Man Show Website
• The Modern Man Show on YouTube
• More links for Ted here!
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Will Knecht, a man who’s been in the trenches of fatherhood, marriage, and masculinity long enough to know that the work never really ends. They get into the realities of being a dad, a stepdad, and now a grandpa, all while navigating what it means to be a man in a world that’s constantly shifting the goalposts. Will opens up about imposter syndrome, the weight of expectations, and the loneliness so many guys carry in silence. This is a conversation about legacy, about breaking cycles, and about how to show up fully as the man your people need you to be—without losing yourself in the process.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – Press Play and Brace Yourself
• 00:01:22 – Will Knecht Steps Into the Arena
• 00:01:56 – Fatherhood, Manhood, and the Weight We Carry
• 00:04:26 – The Masculinity Maze: Finding Your Way
• 00:06:09 – Feel It or Fail: Why Emotions Matter
• 00:07:53 – Dad Didn’t Say ‘I Love You’—Now What?
• 00:15:49 – School vs. Real Life: Which One Wins?
• 00:23:14 – Alone in a Crowded Room: The Silent Struggle
• 00:28:31 – The Last Word (And It’s a Good One)

Links and Resources:

• Will on LinkedIn
• MoreTheMan Newsletter
• Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
• Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!