Modern Masculinity

By Hector SantiestebanSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

Modern Masculinity episodes

August 18Build a Life You Do Not Need to Escape with Jason Bronstad
What does it actually take to be a present husband, father, leader, and man when life refuses to slow down? Hector sits down with Jason Bronsted for an honest conversation about releasing old expectations, doing the inner work, and learning to meet both success and struggle with a steady mind and an open heart. Jason shares how community, jujitsu, time in nature, and intentional family planning help him stay grounded, along with what he has learned about supporting the people he loves without trying to fix everything for them. They also explore how men can define masculinity for themselves, why every man needs a third space beyond home and work, and how raising curious children may matter more than preparing them for one specific career. This episode is a practical reminder that a meaningful life is not something you reach someday. It is something you create through presence, courage, and the choices you make today.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) Meet Jason and the pressure to have it all together
(00:05:00) Doing the inner work and learning to love yourself
(00:08:20) Living now instead of waiting for retirement
(00:12:50) Defining masculinity for yourself
(00:15:40) Why every man needs community and a third space
(00:20:20) Staying present when real life gets difficult
(00:25:00) What sports teach us about resilience
(00:28:00) Nature, jujitsu, and rituals that bring you back to center
(00:32:15) Raising curious children in an AI shaped world
(00:38:45) Books, asking for help, and the meaning of presence

Links And Resources:
Website
Jason Bronstad on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
45 min
July 17Most Men Do the Ritual. Almost None of Them Actually Live It with Dodge Feeler
Dodge Feeler is a telehealth founder, a father, and someone who has done a lot of living in a short amount of time. He went from being a hair restoration surgeon at 33 who thought he had already peaked, through a divorce, through the spiritual marketplace, through fatherhood, and out the other side with a very different set of priorities. In this conversation, he and Hector get into what it actually takes to stop cycling through healing modalities and start living the work. They talk about what fatherhood demands of you that nothing else will, why so many men confuse doing the ritual with being changed by it, and what it looks like to become a man your son actually learns something from. It is a raw and honest conversation that does not have a tidy conclusion, which is kind of the point.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) Welcome and What Is Real in Dodge's World Right Now
(00:02:00) How Fatherhood Completely Rewires Your Brain and Priorities
(00:08:00) Comfort as a Warning Sign and What It Means to Follow Your Calling
(00:12:00) The Gap Between Doing the Ritual and Actually Living It
(00:17:00) Teaching Your Kids to Regulate Before You Can Regulate Yourself
(00:23:00) The Peptide Culture Trap and the Present Moment You Keep Missing
(00:28:00) What Is the Spiritual Marketplace and Why It Keeps You Searching
(00:34:00) What Being a Present Father Actually Looks Like Day to Day
(00:40:00) Why We Are Failing to Bring Boys Into Manhood
(00:47:00) Becoming the Man Your Son Will Point To Someday

Links And Resources:
Website
Dodge Feeler on Instagram
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
56 min
July 08The Real Reason Good Men Struggle With Limits with Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Dr. Kelly Flanagan returns to Modern Masculinity to share the real evolution of his work — because awareness alone wasn't enough. After years of studying emotional patterns, Kelly hit a breaking point (literally — he broke his collarbone on an angry bike ride) that launched a five-year journey into what he now calls the Peaceful Pivot Process: a 9-step framework built around three phases — Get Calm, Get Free, and Get Connected. In this conversation, he and Hector unpack why you can't solve your triggered mind with your mind, how your body signals a triggered response 80% sooner than your thoughts do, and why keeping your heart open while setting firm boundaries is the highest expression of strength for a man. Whether you're a dad navigating the bickering, a husband trying not to blow up, or a high-achiever who keeps re-reading the books without changing the behavior — this one hits different.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) - Welcome to Modern Masculinity
(00:01:00) - Kelly's world today: family, fatherhood, and the muck
(00:04:00) - Why head knowledge doesn't stop the trigger
(00:08:00) - The broken collarbone story that changed everything
(00:11:00) - Why Michael Singer couldn't teach the rest of us — so Kelly built his own process
(00:15:00) - The Peaceful Pivot Process: Get Calm, Get Free, Get Connected
(00:25:00) - Open-heartedness is NOT a lack of boundaries
(00:28:00) - The two-axis framework: boundaried vs. open-hearted
(00:34:00) - Full 9-step walkthrough of the Peaceful Pivot Process
(00:43:00) - The Road Less Triggered: where to get the book and bonuses

Links And Resources:
Website: https://www.allianceclinical.com/
Dr. Kelly Flanagan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drkellyflanagan/
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
45 min
June 02Why Men Reject the Love They Need Most with Andrew L. Anderson
In this raw and deeply practical conversation, Hector welcomes Andrew Anderson back to Modern Masculinity for a powerful discussion on worthiness, emotional healing, fatherhood, and what it really means for a man to receive love. Together, they unpack how childhood beliefs quietly shape adult identity, why so many men intellectualize growth without embodying it, and how deep inner work can change the way a man shows up for his kids, his relationships, and himself. For men navigating pressure, shame, conflict, or the weight of always having to hold it together, this episode offers a grounded path toward greater freedom, compassion, courage, and love.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) Pain is inevitable, but suffering can be optional
(00:04:02) Why Hector reached out and what authenticity pulls out of men
(00:07:32) The missed session and the hard lesson of receiving support
(00:11:20) Worthiness, prosperity, and the law of giving and receiving
(00:14:10) The dance party with Hector’s kids and what changed at home
(00:18:42) Standing up for his son without anger, fear, or reactivity
(00:22:15) Why childhood beliefs shape adult patterns
(00:29:05) Discernment, certainty, and looking inward for identity
(00:35:08) How adults unintentionally dim a child’s light
(00:39:02) Forgiveness, emotional freedom, and why modern masculinity is love

Links And Resources:
Website
Andrew Anderson on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
45 min
May 19The Subtle Changes Happening Right Now with John WInters
John returns to the Modern Masculinity Podcast to share what's changed since becoming a father again at 42 — and what it's taught him about longevity, presence, and the moments we don't realize are the last ones. He and Hector dive deep into the realities of health span versus lifespan, why most men are unknowingly laying the groundwork for metabolic disease in their 30s and 40s, and why the fitness industry's obsession with 30-day transformations sets men up to fail. From the truth about GLP-1s and peptides to why creatine may be the most underrated supplement of our generation, John breaks down what actually works for men who want to stay functional, strong, and present for their families — not just alive, but thriving — well into their 70s and beyond.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) - Appreciating the "lasts" — what fatherhood the second time around teaches you
(00:02:47) - The exponential challenge of raising two kids
(00:04:00) - Balancing a growing business with a growing family
(00:06:12) - Recognizing milestones you didn't know were the last
(00:07:52) - Why longevity matters more when you're a dad at 42
(00:09:45) - Health span vs. lifespan — compressing disease into fewer years
(00:11:00) - The metabolic diseases being built in your 30s and 40s
(00:12:30) - Why "eat healthier" isn't enough — the next level of nutrition
(00:13:15) - The minimum effective dose: strength training, daily movement, and whole foods
(00:14:45) - GLP-1s: the easy button myth and what they actually require
(00:16:30) - Peptides as amplifiers, not replacements for the basics
(00:18:00) - The identity shift required for lasting change
(00:20:00) - How coaching fills the gap the pharmaceutical industry ignores
(00:21:30) - The "looks maxing" trend and why teenagers are taking steroids
(00:23:45) - Testosterone replacement: when it's necessary vs. when it's reckless
(00:25:15) - How exogenous hormones disrupt your body's entire signaling cascade
(00:27:00) - Patients vs. doctors: the new dynamic of informed health decisions
(00:28:30) - RDA vs. optimal: why minimum standards aren't enough
(00:30:00) - Creatine — the supplement everyone should be taking
(00:32:00) - "One way or another, health becomes a priority"
(00:33:15) - Trackers, data, and why more information leads to better coaching
(00:36:00) - The feast-or-famine cycle of unsustainable fitness programs
(00:38:30) - Minimum effective dose training: 2-3 days, 30 minutes, real results
(00:40:30) - Stacking small wins instead of chasing dramatic transformations
(00:42:00) - Where to find John and Lifestyle Performance Training
(00:42:45) - John's definition of modern masculinity

Links And Resources:
Webstie: https://lifestyleperformancetraining.com/author/lptadmin/
John Winters on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-winters-7a3bb892/?isSelfProfile=false
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
44 min
May 08The 3-Part Masculine Blueprint That Fixes Most Relationships with GS Youngblood
In this conversation, GS Youngblood returns to break down a practical “cheat code” for better relationships: get grounded, lead with clarity, and create emotional safety. GS explains why many men unconsciously repeat childhood patterns—especially helplessness and people-pleasing—and how that shows up as conflict avoidance, unmet needs, and corrosive resentment. Together, GS and Hector explore boundaries, emotional leadership, and why relationship skill is learnable (just like fitness). They also discuss how the same blueprint applies in dating—from the first few seconds of presence to the way a man sets direction and builds connection through genuine curiosity.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) What modern masculinity is: grounded, leading, safe
(00:01:00) GS’s core thesis: the 3-part masculine blueprint
(00:02:30) How unprocessed trauma shapes adult relationships
(00:04:10) The “needs get steamrolled” pattern (and where it begins)
(00:06:30) Why resentment is so corrosive—and how it builds
(00:08:00) Emotional leadership: naming the fracture instead of hiding it
(00:14:00) Why men check out (games, scrolling, substances) when relationship is hard
(00:18:00) The concrete practices: grounding, leadership, connection
(00:23:30) Dating with presence: the first 5 seconds + directional energy
(00:41:30) Where to start: the book, bootcamp, and live workshops

Links And Resources:
Website: https://www.gsyoungblood.com/
GS Youngblood on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmir/
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hector-santiesteban-64326340/
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter: https://twitter.com/hector_podcast?lang=en

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
45 min
May 01Why “Busy” Is the Most Dangerous Lie Men Tell Themselves with Ben Brown
Hector sits down with Ben Brown to unpack why so many men feel stretched thin in midlife, and why “being busy” is not the real issue. Ben explains how modern life overwhelms human biology through constant stimulation, easy access to highly processed food, and chronic stress, and why sustainable health is less about perfect plans and more about ownership, identity, and repeatable non-negotiables. They discuss why black-and-white dieting fails, how to live in the “gray” with consistent “pretty good” habits, and how tools like AI and modern medicine can support the fundamentals rather than replace them. Ben also shares why comprehensive blood work can be a powerful next step for optimization, especially when symptoms have deeper roots like sleep quality issues.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) Modern life’s constant stimulation and why it matters
(00:01:00) Ben’s current season: family, business, and the “busy” trade-offs
(00:06:00) Why putting yourself last is not selfless
(00:12:00) Do we need modern medicine to offset modern living?
(00:14:00) Cutting through health noise: fundamentals first
(00:18:00) Peptides, GLP-1s, and TRT as tools, not shortcuts
(00:24:00) The missing piece: ownership, identity, and discomfort
(00:29:00) Breaking the all-or-nothing mindset and living in the gray
(00:34:00) Why comprehensive blood work can change the game
(00:45:00) Using AI for tracking, learning, and decision support
(00:47:00) Where to find Ben, and defining modern masculinity

Links And Resources:
Website
Ben Brown on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
51 min
March 20640 Pounds and Broken: One Man's Fight to Save Himself with Adam Boyd
Adam Boyd opens up about his transformation from 640 pounds to losing 158 pounds in 58 weeks, sharing the brutal reality of food addiction, alcoholism, and gambling that nearly cost him his life. In this raw conversation, Adam discusses growing up in chaos, living in fear, and the moment he realized no one was coming to save him. He breaks down his decision to use GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, the importance of vulnerability over performative masculinity, and why men struggle to ask for help. This isn't a typical weight loss success story — it's an honest look at what it takes to transform your life when you're morally broken, the role of male friendships in healing, and how sitting in anxiety rather than running from it becomes the path forward.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) - Growing Up in Chaos: Adam's Early Life and Food Addiction
(00:02:00) - The Spiral: When Alcohol and Gambling Took Over
(00:05:46) - Living in Fear: How Chaos Shaped Adam's Identity
(00:08:00) - 58 Weeks In: 158 Pounds Lost and Still Sober
(00:09:00) - Why Adam Used Ozempic: Turning Off the Noise
(00:13:00) - Rock Bottom: Living in a Trailer and Realizing No One's Coming
(00:14:00) - Running Toward the Storm: Why Vulnerability Saved His Life
(00:17:00) - Hard Things Now, Easy Later: Breaking the Comfort Zone
(00:19:00) - How Your Brain Creates New Pathways When You Do Hard Things
(00:21:00) - The Father Figure He Never Had: Finding Male Mentorship
(00:24:00) - Why Men Don't Ask for Help (And Why They Should)
(00:28:00) - The Goal: 300 Pounds and Helping Others Through Anxiety
(00:30:00) - Modern Masculinity: Being Open and Creating Space to Listen

Links And Resources:
Adam Boyd on Instagram
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
32 min
February 06What Happens When Work Stops Being Your God with Jason Heinritz
Jason Heinritz shares his journey from being a self-described workaholic chasing accolades to finding peace through faith and intentional living. Jason opens up about his struggle with numbing himself with weed and alcohol after long workdays, the transformative moment when he took a demotion and got rebaptized, and how fasting and prayer became essential tools for navigating major life decisions—including moving his family from Wisconsin to Seattle to help start a church. He discusses the importance of being a "Jesus guy" without the baggage of religion, the power of setting boundaries around work (now working just 28 hours per week), and practical ways he's raising his kids with spiritual grounding in a world full of distractions. Jason also breaks down why modern masculinity should follow Jesus' example of leading with love while standing firm in truth, and shares his Wake Up Jesus People movement designed to awaken the warrior within men.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) - Jason introduces himself and his journey from workaholic to finding peace through faith
(00:02:00) - Moving from Wisconsin to Seattle to help start a church and balancing multiple roles
(00:06:00) - The importance of having a North Star and purpose beyond material success
(00:08:40) - Breaking free from numbing with weed and alcohol after work
(00:12:18) - The practical and spiritual power of prayer and fasting
(00:17:00) - How fasting releases chains and builds personal agency
(00:18:00) - Different types of fasts: liquid fasts, Daniel fasts, and navigating them with family
(00:22:00) - Setting intentions before fasting and avoiding perfectionism
(00:26:00) - Why Jesus is the ultimate example of integrated masculinity
(00:31:00) - Jesus as tough but loving: flipping tables and speaking truth
(00:36:00) - The sacred start morning routine: prayer, journal, exercise, and scripture
(00:38:00) - Raising kids with spiritual grounding while attending public school
(00:40:00) - Explaining the "why" behind faith instead of enforcing rules
(00:44:00) - Modern masculinity defined: following Jesus, leading with tough love, and servant leadership

Links And Resources:
Website
Jason Heinritz on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
50 min
January 30The 4 Non-Negotiables Every Man Needs to Master with Donovan Owens
Hector sits down with Donovan Owens, founder of the Life is REPS community, for a tactical deep-dive into what it truly means to master modern masculinity. Donovan shares his raw journey from rebellious teenager to sitting on the edge of his bed with a pistol, contemplating suicide—and the spiritual moment that changed everything. They explore Donovan's REPS Operating System (Repetitive Excellence Produces Success), breaking down practical tools like the Mastery Morning routine, the four power pillars (adventure, worthwhile work, real relationships, and strong self), and why excellence requires both presence and resourcefulness. This isn't philosophical fluff—it's actionable wisdom on creating systems that prevent you from falling prey to society's strategic traps of convenience, comfort, and unhealthy dopamine. Donovan challenges men to define success on their own terms, communicate consciously with those around them, and recognize that mastery isn't a destination but a daily commitment. Whether you're battling defaults, seeking clarity, or ready to tap into the deepest version of yourself, this conversation delivers the framework to become the man that matters—to yourself first, then to your world.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) - Welcome and Introduction to Donovan Owens
(00:01:15) - The Journey: From Rebellious Teen to Rock Bottom
(00:06:42) - The Moment That Changed Everything: Gratitude and Survival
(00:10:28) - Daily Battles: Ego, Humility, and Incomplete Manhood
(00:14:35) - The Mastery Morning: Your Three Essential Wins
(00:22:18) - Building the REPS Operating System
(00:31:47) - Excellence vs. Perfection: Quality Over Quantity
(00:38:25) - Society's Strategic System of Traps
(00:42:15) - Liminal Thinking: Examining Your Belief Bubbles
(00:47:20) - Defining Modern Masculinity: Being the Man That Matters
Links and Resources:
Life is REPS Website: https://lifeisreps.com/
Life is REPS Newsletter: https://lifeisreps.com/newsletter
Life is REPS YouTube: https://youtube.com/@lifeisreps
Hector Santiesteban on LinkedIn
Hector Santiesteban on Twitter

Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!
45 min

About Modern Masculinity

From the publisher's feed

"Modern Masculinity" is a podcast that explores the real-life challenges that men face today. Whether it's balancing work and family, figuring out how to be a good husband or father, or just trying to…