In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what they did and didn’t learn in premarital counseling. Whether engaged or married for decades, we hope today’s new episode encourages and challenges you in your marriage.

Scriptures:

Proverbs 18:2

James 1:19

1 Corinthians 7:28

Resources:

Book – Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Book – Scott Kedersha, Ready or Knot? 12 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have before Marriage

Podcast – Episode 35 – How to Identify the Four Negative Horsemen of Communication and Conflict

Podcast – Episode 12 – How to Identify Negative Communication Patterns

Questions to Discuss:

When’s the last time you were really unprepared for something?

What are you glad you learned in premarital counseling?

What do you wish you had learned in premarital counseling?

Multiple studies and articles show that the average couple talks to each other for only twenty minutes per week. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss practical ways to make time in your marriage to connect and communicate with each other. All healthy couples might intentionally fight for time together.

Scriptures:

Colossians 3:12-14

Matthew 18:15-17

Ephesians 4:29

Resources:

Blog Post - Do you talk more than the average couple?

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are you an internal or external processor? How about your spouse?

2. What are some ways you and your spouse can increase the amount of time you communicate with each other every week?

3. What consumes your thoughts right now? Discuss with your spouse.

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott interviews his friend Justin Davis. With candor and transparency, Justin shares he and his wife’s powerful marriage testimony and we discuss the value of authenticity in helping couples be so much more than just roommates.

Scriptures:

Proverbs 28:13

Genesis 2:25

Questions to Discuss:

Justin defined intimacy as being fully known emotionally, spiritually, and physically. How are you doing in marital intimacy?

Who’s more authentic in your marriage—you or your spouse? How can you grow in authenticity?

Resources:

Justin’s New Book – Being Real > Being Perfect: How Transparency Leads to Transformation

Justin & Trisha Davis’ Ministry – RefineUs Ministries

Justin & Trisha’s Marriage Story – Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough

Justin & Trisha’s Podcast – Let’s Get Real with Justin and Trisha Davis

One of the best ways you can grow your marriage is to set aside time every week to ask each other some intentional, specific questions. In this episode of More Than Roommates we discuss the weekly meeting and some questions you can ask each other every week.

Scriptures:

Genesis 2:25

2 Corinthians 12:9

Ephesians 5:15-16

Questions to Discuss:

What is God teaching you? 

How can I serve you better this upcoming week?

How can I pray for you in the week ahead?

How can we make sure we make time for each other?

What's on our calendar in the next week? 

Resources:

Blog Post - One Thing We Like To Do For Our Marriage Every Week

Today in part 9 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss self-control. Like a city whose walls are broken down, a marriage marked by a lack of self-control is often broken and in need of restoration. In this episode of More Than Roommates, we discuss why it matters to demonstrate the fruit of self-control in your marriage.

Galatians 5:22-23

Proverbs 25:28

Questions to Discuss:

1. Who is more disciplined in your marriage—you or your spouse?

2, Where do you show self-control in marriage and where can you grow?

3. As we wrap-up this 9-part series, which of the 9 Fruit of the Spirit mark your life and marriage? Where is it lacking?

Today in part 8 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss gentleness. In our relationships, we either escalate/exacerbate the challenges with anger or a lack of gentleness, or we demonstrate the fruit of spirit of gentleness and turn away wrath.

Galatians 5:22-23

Proverbs 15:1

Matthew 11:28-30

Gentle and Lowly, by Dane Ortlund

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s a household task you’re not good at?

2. Would your spouse/others describe you as gentle/tender?

3. How does a lack of gentleness affect your relationships with your spouse/kids/others?

Today in part 7 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss faithfulness. We all want to be faithful in every aspect of our lives and reflect God’s faithfulness. This plays out in many different ways in our marriages!

Galatians 5:22-23

2 Timothy 2:13

Luke 16:10

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are there any teams/brands/artists that you are way too loyal to (i.e., they can do no wrong)?

2. Would you and your spouse say your marriage is marked by fidelity? Do you keep your promises and do what you say you’re going to do?

3. Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets. How can you build trust through your faithfulness?

Today in part 6 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss ‘goodness’. What if our marriages were marked by integrity and goodness? We know God is good, and so how can we look more like Jesus in our marriage?

Galatians 5:22-23

Romans 3:10-12

Psalm 14:3

Psalm 31:19

Acts 5:1-11

Questions to Discuss:

1. When did you most get in trouble for school (for cheating, or for other reasons)?

2. What are some ways you can grow in your integrity in your marriage? Discuss with each other.

3. Are there small areas in your life and marriage where you allow space for compromise? Ask your spouse if they see any areas of compromise in your life and marriage?

Today in part 5 of our 9-part series on the Fruit of the Spirit and your marriage, we discuss the importance of kindness. What if our marriages were marked by kindness? How different would we look than the rest of the world if husbands and wives were kind to one another?

Galatians 5:22-23 

Romans 2:4

Ephesians 4:32

Psalm 145:17

1 Corinthians 13:4

Questions to Discuss:

1. What were some TV shows you watched as a kid?

2. Who’s the kindest person you know? What does this person do that makes them kind?

3. What’s one tangible way you can show kindness to your spouse today?

In part 4 of our 9-part mini-series on the Fruit of the Spirit we’re talking about patience! In our instant society, patience can be really challenging. But when we’re led by the Spirit, we can demonstrate a Christlike patience in our marriages.

Galatians 5:22-23

2 Peter 3:9

Questions to Discuss:

1. Is it easier for you to show more patience to other people or towards your spouse?

2. How does selfishness contribute to a lack of patience in your marriage and family?

3. How does a lack of patience play out in your marriage and family?