In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how you can fight FOR (not against) your spouse. What does it look like to stand up for and defend them when they face unjustified criticism from someone else (i.e., parents, children, friends)?

Scriptures:

Genesis 2:24-25

Romans 12:19

Matthew 5:38-40

PR 26:4-5

MT 18:15-17

Hebrews 3:13

Questions to Discuss:

Do you have any hot takes that you’re willing to fight for/defend?

What does it look like to rightfully stand up and defend your spouse?

How do you know whether the best thing is to fight for your spouse or to just walk away?

Resources:

More Than Roommates - Episode 97 – Why Are In-Law Relationships Often So Challenging?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Layton & Chelsea Boeve from the Liberator Podcast as they share their story about pornography and how it’s affected their marriage. Layton and Chelsea share how their story has not become their ministry as they seek to help couples with similar stories.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 6:18

2 Timothy 1:7

Psalm 139:23-24

Resources:

Podcast – Liberator Podcast (with Layton & Chelsea)

Websites – Fight the New Drug and Truth About Porn

Study & Website – Beyond the Porn Phenomenon

Questions to Discuss:

What are some topics you don’t like to discuss with your spouse?

What encouraged you most from Layton & Chelsea’s story?

What steps are you taking in your marriage to fight temptations with lust and pornography?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, about pornography and its impact on the brain and how it affects marriages. This episode is Part 1 in a 2-part series about pornography and marriage.

Scriptures:

James 5:16

1 Cor 6:18

Resources:

Website - Pure Desire Ministries

Free Downloads - 7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma and 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Podcast – Pure Desire Ministries Podcast

Questions to Discuss:

What’d the goal and purpose of our sexuality? How does pornography work against God’s purposes?

How has pornography impacted your marriage?

What stood out to you from our interview with Nick?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the five love languages (as written by Dr. Gary Chapman) and how knowing our love languages allows us to better speak the love language of our spouse. When we know their love language, it gives us an opportunity serve our spouse in a way that honors them.

Scriptures:

1 Peter 3:7

Phil 2:3-4

Resources:

Book – The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Resource - 5 Love Languages Quiz

Blog Post - How You Can Date Your Spouse According To The 5 Love Languages

Questions to Discuss:

1. What language did you study in school?

2. What’s your love language? Your spouse’s love language? If you don’t know, take the quiz at the website listed above.

3. What’s one way you can speak your spouse’s love language today/this week?

Happy New Year! In this brief episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott briefly reflect on the last 12 months as we look backward on 2024 and forward to 2025 with gratitude.

Questions to Discuss:

What are you most grateful for from the past 12 months?

What are you most looking forward to in 2025?

How can you and your spouse cultivate a habit of gratitude for your lives and marriage?

Scriptures:

Joshua 4

Merry Christmas Eve from the More Than Roommates team! In this brief Christmas Eve reflection, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss our true hope and where hope is found on Christmas Day and every day!

Scriptures:

Proverbs 13:12

Romans 15:13

Questions to Discuss:

What’s your favorite Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

What are you hopeful for this Christmas?

What’s your greatest hope that God would do in your marriage and through your marriage?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott interview Greg and Erin Smalley about conflict and the myth that an absence of conflict means a couple must be healthy. We discuss what the Bible says about conflict and how healthy conflict repair can help us to be fully known and fully loved.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Do you believe that quarrels and conflict can help couples truly know each other better?

2. Are there areas of your marriage where you have avoided tough conversations and swept any issues under the rug?

3. How are the two of you different from one another when it comes to conflict?

4. How can you develop a posture of humility in your marriage?

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:28

James 4:1

1 Cor 13:6

Eph 4:29

Phil 2:3-4

Rom 12:18

MT 7:3-5

MT 18:15-17

1 Peter 5:5

Resources:

Greg and Erin’s Podcast - Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage

Website - Focus on the Family

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the reactive cycle couples often get into with each other when their expectations aren’t met. We often fall into harmful patterns that can lead us to negative reactions in our marriage. What is this cycle and how do we get out of it?

Scriptures:

PR 15:1

Rom 12:2

Phil 4:8

Resources:

Hope Restored Marriage Intensive (from Focus on the Family)

The Reactive Cycle “Test” – through this brief assessment you can learn your marriage triggers and responses.

Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage, by Gary Thomas

Seven Primal Questions: Take Control Of The Hidden Forces That Drive You, by Mike Foster

Questions to Discuss:

1. What triggers your reactive cycle?

2. How can you increase the gap between a negative trigger and your response?

3. How can we avoid spiraling down into the reactive cycle?

It only comes one time every year, but it’s worth celebrating! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to celebrate your wedding anniversary in a memorable and significant way.

Resources:

Blog Post – 30 Unique Ways to Celebrate Your Anniversary

Scripture:

Ephesians 5:31-32

1 Peter 3:7

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s your favorite party you’ve ever been to?

2. What are your expectations for your anniversary? Make sure you discuss what each of your expectations are for celebrating your anniversary.

3. Why is it important to celebrate your anniversary? Do you realize your marriage is intended to be a picture of God’s triune love?

4. Where do we want to be in our marriage on our 50th anniversary?

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about what it means to overlook a small offense in marriage. When is it okay to overlook it and when do you need to address and discuss it?

Scriptures:

Proverbs 19:11

Romans 12:18

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Resources:

Harris Creek Conflict: Field Guide

Harris Creek Peacemaker Guide

More Than Roommates – Episode 44 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys You

Questions to Discuss:

1. What is your favorite Disney song?

2. How do you know whether you can overlook an offense from your spouse?

3. Why do we give more grace or more easily overlook an offense from a stranger than we do for our spouse?

4. Are you a peace faker, a peace breaker, or a peace maker?