A person has two kidneys; one advises him to do good and one advises him to do evil. And it stands to reason that the one advising him to do good is to his right and the one that advises him to do evil is to his left.

— Talmud (Berakhot 61a)

I.

As I left the Uber, I saw with horror the growing wet spot around my crotch. "It's not urine!", I almost blurted to the driver, before considering that 1) this would just call attention to it and 2) it was urine. "It's not my urine," was my brain's next proposal - but no, that was also false. "It is urine, and it is mine, but just because it's pooling around my crotch doesn't mean I peed myself; that's just a coincidence!" That one would have been true, but by the time I thought of it he had driven away.

Like most such situations, it began with a Vox article.

https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/my-left-kidney