You've driven your car through the front door of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. And who could blame you? We're all finally gathered in the same place again. You saw an opportunity, and you seized it. Good for you.

This week, Michael, Craig, and Spencer discuss last week's debacle (for 1.5 seconds), Congressional testimony schemes, ffiigg nneewwttoonnss, William Jilliam, personal submersibles, airline pajamas, and the sort of thing that isn't our bag, baby. Additionally, Craig tattles on himself for no reason.

NOTE: This episode contains relatively gruesome discussion of a horrendous bodily mishap around the 55-minute mark. Feel free to cut the whole thing off once the disclaimer kicks in if that bothers you.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

We messed up. Well, one of us messed up, and he's truly sorry. Another of us did everything perfectly and can only tell lies. As for the third one, brothers and sisters has he none, but that man's father is his father's son. Or is he?

If you can solve this riddle, maybe you'll find where we've hidden Episode 13. You probably won't, though, because we had to ax it due to technical difficulties. Sorry about that. We're going to try in-person recording again this week, so relax - you'll be hearing from us soon enough. Probably sooner than you want.

You've stepped over the glowing rune circle into the midst of Never Better, a show that’s never going to get any better. Fool! Do you realize what you've done?

This week, Spencer, Craig, and Michael discuss AP Government, alumni donations, "Craig Tank" (???), a 500-pound bear that just happens to be America's sweetheart, college dorm fire alarm evasion tactics, and what to do if/when your nemesis surprises you on your birthday. Plus, Spencer regales his captive audience with inexplicable tales from his time in the hospitality industry.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

You’re caught in the web of Never Better, a show that’s never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Spencer, and Michael discuss their own mysterious powers, floss superiority, questionable talent show tactics, messing up your fake job, highfalutin restaurants, and school snitches. Plus, Craig pitches some business ideas that would get him thrown out of any sensible bank.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

Welcome, one and all, to the weekly roundtable discussion known as Never Better - a programme that, quite simply, will never get any better. This week, Graeme Hershey Marche-Mallow (Spencer), Lord Archibald Simpletton (Craig), and Bartholomew “Batty Bartie, the One-Man Party” Gooms (Michael) discuss the Queen and her platinum jubbly, the world’s oldest failed pub, double polos, gorilla intimidation, and personal space invaders. Also, Michael gets in more trouble at McDonald's than anyone knew was possible.

All three of us forgot this episode was going to come out on Valentine's Day, or we probably would have incorporated it into the itinerary somehow. Oh, well! Don't like it? Call a cop!

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

You hold in your hands a freshly picked episode of Never Better, a show that’s never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss terrible football team names, senior discounts, military make-believe, the Monkey Queen, generational debts, and going to prison just for fun. Plus, Craig pitches a childrearing experiment nobody should ever do.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at@neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

You’ve cracked open an ice cold can of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Spencer, Craig, and Michael discuss disorienteering, Alaskan Paradise, moon mishaps, yacht fugitives, Irish pension scams, and VR-fed beef. Due to electrical interference, Craig sounds like he’s a caller on an AM radio show. You’re just gonna have to live with that, same as the rest of us.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

You’ve cracked open an ice cold can of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss British villages, lip glue, oblivious stinkmates, Turkmenistan's Hellpit, meter marathons, dog decency, and adventure on the medium seas. Plus, we celebrate the return of the Floppy-Armed Italian.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

You’ve descended into the dark underbelly of Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss Bulgarian psychics, the Human Bake Oven, the once-great American scam, the boundaries of friendship, and putting your husband on blast in the New York Times. Plus, at one point, everyone tries their hand at doing an impression of Barry White.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!

Welcome back to Never Better, a show that's still never going to get any better. This is our first fully remote episode, and we were all kind of relieved to be recording again, so please forgive the rambling length of this one. The past few weeks have been a ride.

This week, Craig, Michael, and Spencer discuss zero gravity, fish terminators, tarantula trauma, crucifixion simulation, 1910s nostalgia, gorilla origins, doppelganger encounters, sitcom devotees, and dream worms. Also, Craig and Spencer share unforgettable encounters in public restrooms. Read into that whatever you like.

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Question? Suggestion? Unwarranted aggression? DM us on Twitter at @neverbettercast or send us an email at [email protected] and we’ll react appropriately!