Never Perfect

Part 1 with Jason, a middle aged carpenter: In this episode, he describes how he benefited from therapy as an adolescent, and again in adulthood. Growing up, he developed a lot of false assumptions and unhealthy narratives; he often felt like a disappointment to his parents, and assumed they were more proud of his sisters, and of him. He realized, “I never developed healthy ways of communicating so all I had left was to assume. Assumptions have really dug me into holes my entire life.” He talked about feeling like a failure in school and then again, professionally as a line cook, but eventually , he says “a lot of things changed for me when I gave up on trying to please my parents. “He now realizes that it’s important to do things for himself, and not based on false (or true) narratives about what others want. 

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After a comical discussion about “dry January” and the health benefits of not drinking, Beth and Kat (certified Enneagram teacher and co-host of the Enneagram + Yoga podcast) launch into a discussion about how the Enneagram helps us “ understand the motivations, the fears, and behaviors of people that you’re in relationship with, and have kindness and compassion for that because they are different from you and they see things different and they are motivated and fearful about different things”. Many of us naturally gravitate toward a person who has strengths and qualities that we don’t possess, but these differences often result in a disconnect down the road if communication skills are lacking (as they generally are, in most relationships!). The very differences that attract us to people can eventually drive us apart or drive us crazy! The Gottmans’ state that couples can work through “ perpetual issues and unsolvable problems” by dialoguing about them to get unstuck and change your perception about them. Kat works with couples as an Enneagram coach to help them “be their best self and their most authentic self “by helping them understand questions like “what makes you tick? Why do you do things you do? Why do you react a certain way, or see things a certain way? Why do you resolve conflict in a certain way? “ Kat believes that without addressing these questions, “you can’t grow.” 

Kat Smith Yoga

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Bethany Whitted, an expert in the psychology of organizations, team dynamics, leadership discusses authenticity and why it matters in individuals lives. She explains what authenticity is, and how it starts and what gets in the way of it.. essentially it is the degree to which one is true to their real self, including personality, spirit, and character. 

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In this episode, Beth interviews nurse coach Therese Parks to find out the numerous benefits of meeting with a nurse coach, which seems to be a mix of having a medical cheerleader and a personal organizer for your medical information. Nurse coaches might come for a home visit or attend doctors appointments with you and even go to the grocery store with you to help guide you in your food choices. Therese is a big fan of making a medical notebook for patients with all of their medical information, including medicines, specialist, medical conditions, records of various health information, such as blood pressure, oxygen levels, blood sugar levels, etc. Therese also shares some very helpful information from the functional medicine course she is currently taking. 

Using Food As Medicine

6 Reasons For Food Diversity

Personal Wellness Coaching

Integrative Nurse Coaches

Annual Checkups Help Seniors Thrive

What is Nurse Coaching

Glucose Goddess Hacks

Seed Oils Bad For You

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This is Beth’s long overdue podcast on the Cluster B Personality disorders, honing in specifically on a subtype of covert narcissism called “vulnerable narcissism” (see attached article for more details.) This insecurity or vulnerability is often surprising since most people associate narcissism with arrogance or feelings of superiority (which can be more of a defensive posture/facade). Beth reviews many of the basic traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and shares a little bit about the other cluster B personality disorders, (Borderline and Narcissistic) and shares a couple of Client examples. 

12 Signs of a Vulnerable Narcissist

Understanding Cluster B Personality Disorders

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In this short episode, after Dr. Beth throws herself under the bus for some of her own unhealthy drinking habits, she shares some of the biggest reasons for cutting back or stopping drinking. Her reasons includes the impact on relationships, mental health, physical health, disease, aging, and the increased likelihood of being a victim (or perpetrator) of assaults, accidents, etc. 

Alcohol and Aggression

Drinking Alcohol and the Risk of Violence

Drinking Too Much Alcohol Can Harm Your Health

How Drinking Ages You

Traumatic Effects of Alcoholism on Families

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Kelsi Ray became a believer in the effectiveness of neurofeedback through the benefits she received personally — brain mapping and training led to such significant decreases in anxiety and depression that Kelsi got off of medication completely and has maintained these results for the past 5 years. After mapping Dr. Beth’s brain, Kelsi Ray of Tennessee Neurofeedback explains the basics of Neurofeedback to Beth and her friend Amanda Tarr (friend and previous podcast guest.) Kelsi shares a bit about different types of brain waves, how they are mapped and retrained, and how Neurofeedback Treatment works. 

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Today, Dr. Beth is going to be talking about the advantages and disadvantages of knowing your diagnosis, that is, if you have one… She has been involved of some lively discussions in our about whether it’s beneficial to get evaluated (or diagnosed) for a condition that you might have. Beth recalls conversation with someone last fall, who said “ all of my children probably have ADHD, but I never wanted to get them tested because I didn’t want them to have a label or to feel like something was wrong with them.” Although many people might agree with this sentiment, others would disagree, the bottom line is figuring out what seems healthiest and best for yourself and your loved ones long-term. Beth talks about the pros and cons of understanding your brain and your nervous system. This is part of developing your personal users manual, which is one of her favorite concepts to discuss with clients. None of us knows what it feels like to be in another person‘s body, so sometimes it’s difficult to know if we are suffering with a mental health condition, or if we are neurodivergent in some way… many people ask, “Is this normal? Do other people feel this angry, depressed, moody? Why am I struggling to make friends? Why do I procrastinate all the time?”

It’s hard for us to know how our own experience compares with others, so a diagnostic questionnaire can help us figure out whether we meet criteria for a certain mental health condition or learning disorder, etc.

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We need to help the next generation and see their gifts, and to believe in them, often before they even see the best in themselves and have a positive narrative about themselves. Unfortunately teens are often miss portrayed and seen in a negative light. Research has shown that most adults hold negative biases about teenagers. And yet teens long to be understood and viewed in a favorable light, and they want advice from adults who view them this way, but frequently this seems unavailable. After 20 years of working with teenagers, Young Life Director Jason Cha shares some insights about how teens want adults in their lives treat them and view them. Jason shares research showing that the vast majority of teenagers want advice from adults, but most of them never seek it out because they don’t trust that they will be understood. Jason and Beth discuss generational and cultural differences between teens and adults, as well as timeless issues that transcend them. 

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Ella Green is a high school senior, who shares her story of anxiety, trauma, and loss as a “tween” and how multiple losses in her life crippled her and brought her to her knees, literally. She’s written a book about her experience with debilitating anxiety and how her faith carried her through.

Read Ella's Book Here: "Dear Anxious Mind"

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