New Ways New You ( Tendrils of Grief- Life After Grief)

Raelin Saindon is a childhood abuse survivor and shares her story in this week's episode. She did not only lose her step-father, but she lost her entire extended family as well, while her sister; who did not experience the same abuse, got to keep her family. Raelin shares how she has been able to heal from her deep wounds and be an inspiration to others in the work that she does.

Key Takeaways:

• Raelin shares a bit of her story and her experience with grief.
• Unfortunately, Raelin was sexually abused by her step-father for several years. She didn't want to get him in trouble.
• Raelin finally confessed what was happening to her and it was traumatizing. She stopped going over to his house, but her younger sister still went. Raelin couldn't believe they would allow her to still see this man.
• Raelin ended up losing her extended family, who she was close with, because of her confession.
• How did Raelin heal and grow from this?
• No matter what we go through, our life doesn't end. We are stronger than we think.
• Raelin shares a story of her friend whose son took his own life and she was the one who found him.
• We feel so much guilt for being the one that gets to live and carry on.
• What advice does Raelin have for someone who has experienced deep childhood wounds?
• The more you bottle it up, the more it hurts you and the others around you.

Resources:

Raelinsaindon.com

Raelin's Facebook group

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Raelin Saindon is a childhood abuse survivor and shares her story in this week’s episode. She did not only lose her step-father, but she lost her entire extended family as well, while her sister; who did not experience the same abuse, got to keep her family. Raelin shares how she has been able to heal from her deep wounds and be an inspiration to others in the work that she does. 

Key Takeaways:

• Raelin shares a bit of her story and her experience with grief. 
• Unfortunately, Raelin was sexually abused by her step-father for several years. She didn’t want to get him in trouble. 
• Raelin finally confessed what was happening to her and it was traumatizing. She stopped going over to his house, but her younger sister still went. Raelin couldn’t believe they would allow her to still see this man. 
• Raelin ended up losing her extended family, who she was close with, because of her confession. 
• How did Raelin heal and grow from this?
• No matter what we go through, our life doesn’t end. We are stronger than we think.
• Raelin shares a story of her friend whose son took his own life and she was the one who found him.
• We feel so much guilt for being the one that gets to live and carry on. 
• What advice does Raelin have for someone who has experienced deep childhood wounds?
• The more you bottle it up, the more it hurts you and the others around you. 

Resources:

Raelinsaindon.com

Raelin’s Facebook group

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Victoria Volk is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and the author of The Guided Heart. Victoria spent her entire life trying to figure out what was wrong with her, why she'd get angry for almost no reason, and the inner despair that she had in her heart. It wasn't until she discovered the Grief Recovery Institute that things clicked for her. She had let her grief become part of her identity and it stunted her growth as a person. She shares her story and how it's okay to not be okay.

Key Takeaways:

• Victoria lost both her father and her grandmother from cancer when she was 8 and her sister, who she was close with, graduated from high school and left home.
• Victoria's mother took on a lot of grief and there weren't resources back then that she could turn to.
• Victoria grew up so angry and it took her a long time to address this anger.
• Back then it was a sign of weakness to express grief or intense sadness.
• Victoria had a midlife unraveling when her children began to leave the house.
• When Victoria became a certified grief recovery specialist, that's when things really clicked for her on her own traumas that she's carried throughout her life.
• How is the Grief Recovery Institute different from other grief certification programs?
• Grief can really derail your entire life and it can even become part of your identity.
• Victoria feels like her grief stalled her growth early on.
• There's over 40+ different losses we can experience in our life.
• Society makes it difficult to fully grieve and process our emotions.
• The Grief Recovery Institute is a 7 week program.
• If you feel like you're not okay, it's okay to ask for help.
• There is nothing wrong with you.

Resources:

Theguidedheart.com

Theunleashedheart.com

Victoria Volk is a certified Grief Recovery Specialist and the author of The Guided Heart. Victoria spent her entire life trying to figure out what was wrong with her, why she’d get angry for almost no reason, and the inner despair that she had in her heart. It wasn’t until she discovered the Grief Recovery Institute that things clicked for her. She had let her grief become part of her identity and it stunted her growth as a person. She shares her story and how it’s okay to not be okay. 

Key Takeaways:

• Victoria lost both her father and her grandmother from cancer when she was 8 and her sister, who she was close with, graduated from high school and left home.
• Victoria’s mother took on a lot of grief and there weren’t resources back then that she could turn to.
• Victoria grew up so angry and it took her a long time to address this anger.
• Back then it was a sign of weakness to express grief or intense sadness.
• Victoria had a midlife unraveling when her children began to leave the house.
• When Victoria became a certified grief recovery specialist, that’s when things really clicked for her on her own traumas that she’s carried throughout her life.
• How is the Grief Recovery Institute different from other grief certification programs?
• Grief can really derail your entire life and it can even become part of your identity.
• Victoria feels like her grief stalled her growth early on.
• There’s over 40+ different losses we can experience in our life.
• Society makes it difficult to fully grieve and process our emotions.
• The Grief Recovery Institute is a 7 week program.
• If you feel like you’re not okay, it’s okay to ask for help.
• There is nothing wrong with you.

Resources:

Theguidedheart.com

Theunleashedheart.com

Tanya Tenica Patxot lost her highschool sweetheart at 24 years old. She was pregnant with their second child at the time and had a hard time coping with everything that was going on. It was almost expected that Tanya would have everything 'under control', but on the inside, she was suffering. Tanya shares that when dealing with grief, you also have to deal with the underlying trauma that gets created from losing a loved one. If not, then little problems or triggers will keep happening throughout your life.

Key Takeaways:

• How did Tanya get started in this work?
• Tanya lost her highschool sweetheart two days after she told him she was pregnant with her second child.
• This is also around the time where Tanya felt psychologically unemployable and wanted to start a business for herself.
• Tanya wasn't dealing with grief well. She lost her husband at 24 years old. She had to host two funerals for him and had a child she had to protect.
• Tanya felt like it was almost expected of her to be under control and have all the 'womanly' duties done. She wonders if men would get the same treatment.
• When people asked her if she was okay, she was honest and just said no.
• People are so occupied by 'what can I do for you', but what you need is to just 'be there'.
• When you lose such a presence in your home, you feel so scared and vulnerable. Having people just 'be there' in your home and doing everyday activities with you can be huge.
• How does Tanya help her clients? Some of them were making 6-7 figures and wanted to commit suicide.
• It sounds silly because we're adults, but there's something really powerful about someone giving you permission to be a crazy person/sad/wild/whatever you might be feeling.
• Oftentimes, when there's grief, there is also trauma. When you feel triggered, there is a root cause to that and it's important to keep diving deeper and deeper until you find it.

Resources:

Tanyatenica.com

Tanya Tenica Patxot lost her highschool sweetheart at 24 years old. She was pregnant with their second child at the time and had a hard time coping with everything that was going on. It was almost expected that Tanya would have everything ‘under control’, but on the inside, she was suffering. Tanya shares that when dealing with grief, you also have to deal with the underlying trauma that gets created from losing a loved one. If not, then little problems or triggers will keep happening throughout your life.

Key Takeaways:

• How did Tanya get started in this work?
• Tanya lost her highschool sweetheart two days after she told him she was pregnant with her second child.
• This is also around the time where Tanya felt psychologically unemployable and wanted to start a business for herself.
• Tanya wasn’t dealing with grief well. She lost her husband at 24 years old. She had to host two funerals for him and had a child she had to protect.
• Tanya felt like it was almost expected of her to be under control and have all the ‘womanly’ duties done. She wonders if men would get the same treatment.
• When people asked her if she was okay, she was honest and just said no.
• People are so occupied by ‘what can I do for you’, but what you need is to just ‘be there’.
• When you lose such a presence in your home, you feel so scared and vulnerable. Having people just ‘be there’ in your home and doing everyday activities with you can be huge.
• How does Tanya help her clients? Some of them were making 6-7 figures and wanted to commit suicide.
• It sounds silly because we’re adults, but there’s something really powerful about someone giving you permission to be a crazy person/sad/wild/whatever you might be feeling.
• Oftentimes, when there’s grief, there is also trauma. When you feel triggered, there is a root cause to that and it’s important to keep diving deeper and deeper until you find it.

Resources:

Tanyatenica.com

Tina Hicks is the CEO of Jolt of Energy and is a workout and life coach. She helps her clients find the good and positive in life when things seem to be really heavy and weighing down on you. It all starts with mindset and practicing gratitude every day. It might not seem like much, but sometimes taking the smallest steps towards a positive change can really impact your entire outlook on life. Tina shares more on this week's episode.

Key Takeaways:

• Sometimes you have to let go, but at the same time, you don't want to say goodbye to who you are.
• Tina took a break from her career and was depressed. She turned to emotional eating to comfort her.
• How have you been talking about yourself? Why would you be cruel to your own wellbeing?
• It's Tina's purpose to bring a healthy relationship to yourself.
• Tina wants you to focus on mindset, not the food.
• Wake up every day with gratitude.
• Susan was in such a dark place that she was wondering why even her friends liked her.
• Fall in love with yourself again. It takes practice, but it's possible.
• You can surprise yourself on what your body is capable of.
• Stop worrying about the little details and beating yourself up for it. Keep the eye on the prize and keep working towards your future self.
• How does Tina help someone who is in a bad place?
• Start small and then go from there.

Resources:

Tina on Instagram

Tina on Facebook

Tina Hicks is the CEO of Jolt of Energy and is a workout and life coach. She helps her clients find the good and positive in life when things seem to be really heavy and weighing down on you. It all starts with mindset and practicing gratitude every day. It might not seem like much, but sometimes taking the smallest steps towards a positive change can really impact your entire outlook on life. Tina shares more on this week’s episode.

Key Takeaways:

• Sometimes you have to let go, but at the same time, you don’t want to say goodbye to who you are.
• Tina took a break from her career and was depressed. She turned to emotional eating to comfort her.
• How have you been talking about yourself? Why would you be cruel to your own wellbeing?
• It’s Tina’s purpose to bring a healthy relationship to yourself.
• Tina wants you to focus on mindset, not the food.
• Wake up every day with gratitude.
• Susan was in such a dark place that she was wondering why even her friends liked her.
• Fall in love with yourself again. It takes practice, but it’s possible.
• You can surprise yourself on what your body is capable of.
• Stop worrying about the little details and beating yourself up for it. Keep the eye on the prize and keep working towards your future self.
• How does Tina help someone who is in a bad place?
• Start small and then go from there.

Resources:

Tina on Instagram

Tina on Facebook

Wendy Andrew is a lifelong animal lover and vegetarian for over 30+ years. After leaving her job with the police, she became a dog walker and pet bereavement counselor. Through her years of work in this field, Wendy quickly realized this form of grief was often dismissed by employers, family, and friends. In this week's episode, Wendy shares how the loss of a pet is no joke and can be quite traumatizing for our wellbeing.

Key Takeaways:

• Pet bereavement is often dismissed or mocked by society.
• How did Wendy get into pet bereavement counseling?
• Pets give you unconditional love and when they pass, your own health can deteriorate too.
• Our pets are a constant in our lives and it can affect us much more than a person passing away.
• What are some of the positive ways to mourn your pet in a way that honors them?
• When does it make sense to discard pet toys or bowls of a passed away pet?
• So many pet owners get stuck with guilt in their grieving process.
• When is it okay to get another pet?
• Getting a new pet doesn't replace a previous one, it just makes your heart bigger.
• Employers do need to be compassionate when an employee loses a lifelong pet.
• Do pets also experience grief?
• Wendy shares some last thoughts on how to best manage the grief when you've lost a pet.

Resources:

How To Recover From Pet Loss: Supporting You On Your Journey To Acceptance by Wendy Andrew

Website - www.thescottishpetbereavementcounsellingservice.com

Email - [email protected]

Facebook - @thescottishpetbereavementcounsellingservice

Instagram - @the_spbcs

Twitter - @The_SPBCS

Wendy Andrew is a lifelong animal lover and vegetarian for over 30+ years. After leaving her job with the police, she became a dog walker and pet bereavement counselor. Through her years of work in this field, Wendy quickly realized this form of grief was often dismissed by employers, family, and friends. In this week’s episode, Wendy shares how the loss of a pet is no joke and can be quite traumatizing for our wellbeing.

Key Takeaways:

• Pet bereavement is often dismissed or mocked by society.
• How did Wendy get into pet bereavement counseling?
• Pets give you unconditional love and when they pass, your own health can deteriorate too.
• Our pets are a constant in our lives and it can affect us much more than a person passing away.
• What are some of the positive ways to mourn your pet in a way that honors them?
• When does it make sense to discard pet toys or bowls of a passed away pet?
• So many pet owners get stuck with guilt in their grieving process.
• When is it okay to get another pet?
• Getting a new pet doesn’t replace a previous one, it just makes your heart bigger.
• Employers do need to be compassionate when an employee loses a lifelong pet.
• Do pets also experience grief?
• Wendy shares some last thoughts on how to best manage the grief when you’ve lost a pet.

Resources:

How To Recover From Pet Loss: Supporting You On Your Journey To Acceptance by Wendy Andrew

Website - www.thescottishpetbereavementcounsellingservice.com

Email - [email protected]

Facebook - @thescottishpetbereavementcounsellingservice

Instagram - @the_spbcs

Twitter - @The_SPBCS