No Crying In Baseball

While Regulation Pottymouth is away, Other Pottymouth pinch hits with tales of the Nationals new bullpen cart, which they don’t deserve, a little love for Derek Jeter’s Marlins requiring Spanish lessons for the English speakers on the team, and the joy of SS Scott Kingery pitching so slowly the velocity doesn’t even register. Patti rants about Jose Urena’s fastball assault of Ronald Acuna and baseball’s ridiculous unwritten rules. And Eric Hosmer homering off a beer provides a teaching moment about fan interference.

We also have a special interview with Jon Leonoudakis, executive producer of "The Sweet Spot" series on Amazon Prime, who talks about Season 3: “Shutout! The Battle American Women Wage to Play Baseball”. See the trailer here: http://bit.ly/2zisxKi 

Patti and the Pottymouth review the good, the bad, and the ugly of Player’s Weekend nickname choices. Extra credit to Pat Venditte, Paul Fry, and Joey Gallo for puns and playfulness. The Reds are troubling, however, as Scooter Gennett doesn’t choose “Scooter” and Joey Votto goes all Canadian war poetry on us.  Juan Soto suffers premature ejection. Baseball math provides grandpas everywhere with cheat sheets on when it is safe to leave the game early and beat the traffic. And grandchildren everywhere have a new reason to hate math. Opportunities begin to appear for women baseball executives and women players. Finally.

Patti & the Pottymouth are forced to follow their own stupid fantasy boyfriend baseball league rules and bid farewell to Rhys Hoskins, Jonathan Schoop, and Ian Kinsler due to the Trade Deadline Boyfriend Shuffle. Pottymouth cheers on the Mamie “Peanut” Johnson Little League team as they move on to the regional championships with support from BF Adam Jones. Patti watches the “brawl that wasn’t” unfold, re-fold, and result in the beaning of national treasure Joey Votto. Rants abound as we ask "WTF the Astros are doing with Roberto Osuna?" And we find a glimmer of hope with Trea Turner’s baby steps on the path to redemption.

Former MLB players vote for boyfriends on all 30 teams.  They call them Heart and Hustle Awards, but they totally use NCIB’s BF criteria.  We make a good showing with Pookie, Goldy, Salvy, Scooter, Spanky, and Alfalfa all making the cut. That’s Mookie Betts, Paul Goldschmidt, Salvador Perez and Scooter Gennett, for the uninitiated. Kiké Hernandez checks pitching off the bucket list, stands on the said bucket, and teases the Braves announcers for getting their MLB panties in a bunch. We have no choice but to discuss the twitter feeds of stupid high school boys, (Josh Hader, Sean Newcomb, and our formerly beloved Trea Turner) their apologies, and their possible paths to redemption. And love is in the air at Fanfest, and at the Hall of Fame induction in Cooperstown.

With Patti on the road, Pottymouth brings in some special guests to help out. Ecuadoran journalist Santiago Estrella talks about growing up playing baseball in New York City and being a huge Yankees fan before moving back to Ecuador — a country that has no baseball — at the age of ten. His newspaper allowed him to come back to the States to cover All-Star Week and he shares his stories of interviewing some of the top players.

Pottymouth also speaks with dynamic umpire Perry Barber about Women In Baseball Week, a project of the International Women's Baseball Center.

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It’s All-Star Week and Patti and the Pottymouth have made new friends all over town – in the Metro, in bars, at the ballpark, during volunteer gigs, plus that guy walking down the street carrying a base from the Futures game. We got outside at Play Ball Park, where we made sure little girls and grown women took their turns at bat and in the pitching cages and didn’t hang back behind the boys and menfolk.

At Fanfest, Pottymouth met a childhood hero and Patti flew. We couldn’t help ourselves at the Futures Game and came away with new boyfriends. Future boyfriends. Can every week be All-Star Week?

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

Pottymouth decamps to NYC (WTF?) yet Patti manages to have her Greatest. Baseball. Weekend. Ever. There were dingers and anthems and jumbotron appearances galore. Pottymouth makes an All-Star case for Yadier Molina, who now even Torey Lovullo agrees is NOT a mofo.

Mark Reynolds and Juan Soto are not the heroes the Nationals had in mind, but they are the heroes they needed. Patti has a brush with glory as the Women’s Baseball World Cup trophy and two members of Team USA visit Nats Park. And there is a Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League shake-up. Finally.

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome special guest Alfredo Alvarez, of Con Las Bases Llenas, for a Red Sox / Yankees Series smackdown, er, discussion. Alfredo’s story of becoming a Yankees fan as a child in Cuba almost convinces Patti to join the Evil Empire, but her aggressively ugly Orioles shirt (and her aggressively Red Soxy Pottymouth) keep her grounded.

We celebrate Joey Votto’s strike zone in honor of Canada Day, and revisit crime and punishment in the MLB in the form of Luke Heimlich and Chris Bosio. Patti just wants to talk about Frank Zappa mustaches, but grooming goes to another level when Pottymouth insists on admiring the shiny, shiny muscles of naked ballplayers in the ESPN Body Issue.

Learn more about Con Las Bases Llenas at Conlasbasesllenas.com @ConLasBasesFull

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball 

Yadier Molina has legs, but does he have knees? The wiener report includes Hunter Strickland, the Phillie Phanatic and that guy on the Metro with the Machado jersey. The non-waiver trade deadline may cost Patti some boyfriends, but she makes sure you know what it means. Pottymouth has choice words about Roberto Osuna. All this plus participation medals, fake moustaches and a pitcher named Disco.

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

Pottymouth laments the glory that is her Mariners (formerly Rays) boyfriend, Denard Span because his best work is against her Red Sox. What’s a girl to do? We jump on the Mariners bandwagon that suddenly looks playoff-bound. Tip of the cap to Trea Turner for his 100th stolen base and Patti tells a back with a bang from the DL story, about Rhys Hoskins of the Phillies. Someone, please get Pottymouth a Yuli Gurriel gnome with troll hair.

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