"#1446 Whisper – Let me bore you to sleep – 30th September 2025"
Duration: 48 minutes, 15 seconds
Host: Jason Newland
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🧠 Overall Theme This episode is a classic Jason Newland ramble: part gentle ASMR, part observational comedy, part stream-of-consciousness storytelling. It’s soothing, meandering, and filled with quirky personal anecdotes meant to lull the listener into a peaceful state of relaxation. 📚 Summary by Sections

🌅 Opening & Mood Setting (0:00–4:00)

• Jason begins around 5am, mentioning he's tired and has a slight headache.
• He humorously speculates that his dog, Vinny, might be punching him in his sleep.
• Announces he has a call scheduled with his mental health nurse and jokes about the potential for being discharged if he misses it.

📦 The Great Post Office Adventure (4:00–20:00)

• He needs to deposit money to pay bills.
• Struggles mentally with leaving the house, finally books a taxi.
• Shares a comical interaction with the taxi service operator: jokes about why they need to ask where he's going and riffs on the idea of taking a cab to Iraq.
• Engages in a whimsical back-and-forth about where he’s from, jokingly offering his life story instead of just giving his address.
• Adds absurd details like being asked how many nipples he has (as part of a “survey”).

👵 Family Memories & Cake Philosophy (20:00–25:00)

• Fondly reminisces about his stepmother’s birthday and her cake-baking.
• Reflects on how simple kindness like baking a cake can go a long way.
• Humorously considers asking neighbors for cake at 3am as a “social experiment.”

📞 Phone Calls & Good News (25:00–30:00)

• A friend he recently helped (who was previously homeless) calls to share good news: he’s secured housing thanks to the money Jason gave him.
• Jason is touched and proud that the support was used constructively.
• Also shares that his dad’s treatment was successful – he got good health news from his step-mum via text.

🏪 The Post Office Escapade (30:00–36:00)

• Recounts arriving at a mini-post office inside a shop.
• Has a slightly absurd interaction with a confused staff member about whether he really needs post office services.
• More lighthearted banter about stats, prune juice, and awkward customer service vibes.
• A lengthy riff about prunes vs. plums and how Adam and Eve wouldn’t have eaten plums because they’re gross (to him).

🚕 Taxi Mix-up (36:00–40:00)

• After leaving the shop, he nearly gets into the wrong taxi—mistaking a driver with long hair and a beard for his bald, bubble-pipe-blowing actual driver.
• Describes the moment of mutual understanding that his driver does not want to talk and just wants to complete the trip in silence.

📺 Interrupted Big Brother Time (40:00–46:00)

• Shares frustration at a neighbor who interrupted his “Big Brother” viewing by asking to borrow cash in exchange for a bank transfer.
• Takes Vinny for a walk to meet them and help out.
• This derails his TV watching, forcing him to rewatch the episode later on a different channel.
• Decides from now on, he will mute his phone during “Big Brother” unless it’s a family emergency.

🫖 Closing Thoughts (46:00–48:15)

• Talks about ordering groceries.
• Mentions his plan for breakfast (Ready Brek and tea).
• Signs off gently, reminding listeners to be kind to themselves and that they deserve happiness.

💡 Tone & Style

• Gentle, rambling, humorous.
• A blend of cozy storytelling and light absurdism.
• Filled with quirky side thoughts, digressions, and dry wit.

✨ Highlights & Quotables

• "Charity starts at home… never understood that."
• "Do you go to a kebab shop and ask, 'Do you sell kebabs?'"
• "I’m not saying I’m like diarrhea, but you don’t want to keep thinking about it once it’s over."
• "You can’t get juice out of a prune… or was it a plum?"