No One Can Know About This: A Podcast Where We Play Every Final Fantasy

We explore this prison looking for an escape, but there are guys offering items if you beat them in cards. We make our way to the bottom, then to the top, then to the bottom again, then back to the top, only to have to go back to the bottom again, and much like real prison, we feel like we’ll probably die in here.

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We begin disk 2 with a Laguna dream, where he’s taking care of a small town and a girl named Ellone. He does some random encounters, and that’s about it. Then we all wake up in prison, and begin taking our sweet ass time trying to break out.

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It’s the big finale of disk 1! The Sorceress is in town, and it’s our job to assassinate her. But we’re just a bunch of teenagers, so we completely fuck this mission up.

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We need to enter the General’s mansion, but in order to do that, we’ve got to find an ID number off of a dead student who tried to take on a nearby dungeon. So we grab the ID, and attempt the dungeon ourselves.

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The week begins with a Laguna dream where they take on a dungeon. Then Squall and the gang make it to Galbadia Garden, where the angst factor reaches new heights.

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We make it to Timber and explore the town, looking for the TV station, but we’re going to need to solve some puzzles to get there. Eventually, we make it to the TV station just in time for Seifer to crash the President’s broadcast.

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It’s time to assist the Forest Owls with their plan to steal the president in his train car. How long does the briefing before the mission need to be? Too long. That’s how long it needs to be.

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We explore more of the school, meet the cafeteria lady, and then get sent on a mission to Timber. But on the train ride there, we all pass out and dream of a few guys who sucked at being soldiers 17 years ago.

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Now that we’ve done our first mission, it’s time to graduate and meet our love interest! But not before exploring Balamb, playing the Queen of Cards, and killing a T-Rexaur.

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It’s time to do the fire cave and meet the rest of our core team! Headmaster Cid sends us on our first big mission, we see the craziest communications tower ever, and get more GFs. The journey has truly begun.

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