NonMembers Only

NonMembers Only

By Erin Azar, Mike HouraniSports
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    59 min

    per episode

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NonMembers Only episodes

  • #213 - Steel Mill Ghost, Dorm Room Stranger, and a Cursed Doll

    For this special spooky episode, we came dressed for the occasion to share some of our listeners' most terrifying real life stories. We start with our own spooky life updates, including Erin's overstimulating trick-or-treating experience and Mike's preparations for his first Halloween handing out candy. We also revisit our own brushes with the paranormal, from Erin growing up in a haunted house where she'd see the ghost of a young girl , to Mike's high school adventures searching for ghosts from the pages of "Weird New Jersey". Then, we dive into the chilling stories you sent in, and we have to warn you, they might give you nightmares. We read about a college student who woke in the middle of the night to find a stranger sitting on the end of her bed , a harrowing late night drive that was interrupted by a man wielding a sledgehammer, and multiple tales of children seeing things that aren't there—like the ghost of a "lady in white" at a summer camp and a baby reaching for an unseen figure in a closet. We also share the incredibly eerie story of a daughter's strange premonition at the haunted Stanley Hotel that coincided with a friend's unexpected passing , and a dream that led to a cherished text message mysteriously disappearing forever. Even Dan, who is never scared, shares a truly unsettling experience from his days working alone in a claustrophobic steel mill chute where he came face-to-face with something inexplicable. We also explore the haunted history of Camp Randall Stadium , the curse of Billy Penn that haunted Philadelphia sports for 20 years , the real-life story of the Annabelle doll and the paranormal investigator who died suddenly while touring with it , and the modern-day spookiness of a viral AI-generated social media account that looks frighteningly real. Finally, to cleanse the palate, we end with a much needed compilation of adorable dogs in Halloween costumes.

    1 hr 1 min
  • #212 - Horrors of Tuna Jell-O, The Art of Tray Defense, & Parents vs. Technology

    Happy Halloween week! We're getting into the spooky spirit with some wild trick-or-treating facts, a recap of Erin's trunk-or-treat experience, and a trip to a nature-themed Halloween event at Hawk Mountain. We also trade stories about our very different childhood trick-or-treating memories. Then, Erin shares what it was like cheering at the Bethlehem Running Festival, where some runners were offered beer and Fireball mid-race. After a quick rant from Mike about why tea should be cheaper than coffee at restaurants, we give you the latest updates on the sports world. We discuss the emergency funding that finally allowed Grand Slam Track to pay its athletes (at least partially) and Fred Kerley's decision to join the Enhanced Games for a big payday and equity in the company.

    Things get weird as we discover a new, high-anxiety sport for butlers called "Tray Defense" and unpack the lawsuit claiming Arby's doesn't exactly have "the meats" it shows in its ads. We then take a horrifying journey back in time to explore the bizarre, savory gelatin "salads" of the 1950s—yes, we're talking tuna and olives in Jell-O. We also debate a new discovery of dinosaur footprints, a strange new world record for fist bumps, and share a collection of hilarious stories about parents who are hilariously bad with technology. Of course, it wouldn't be an episode without a Dan update, covering everything from his unconventional marathon training to his latest real-life superhero moment involving a fish hook and some impromptu surgery. We also cover a cool free trade skills program being offered by Home Depot and wrap up with a heartwarming story about a man who thrifts Halloween costumes all year just to give them away to his community for free.

    59 min
  • #211 - Athlos's Success, The AI Sora App, & Fyre Fest's New Owner

    Happy World Statistics Day! In this episode, we kick things off with a celebration of stats before sharing how a nor'easter completely washed out some big birthday plans. After a necessary rant about a brutal week for Philadelphia sports, we break down the impressive new women's only track event, Athlos, and its massive, instantly paid prize purse. In other wild business news, find out which nostalgic tech company just bought the Fyre Fest brand and what their bizarre Web3 plans might be. The conversation then gets strange as we explore the shared dream phenomenon of "Mall World" and its endless, creepy public bathrooms, which leads to a PSA about a real life rest stop. We also demystify that scary feeling you get when a plane takes off, explain the controversial new AI video app "Sora," and ponder a new robot chef that might not be as helpful as it seems. Plus, we've got stories on ultrarunner Courtney Dauwalter's marathon debut, the genius invention of Cheeto proof pants, a potential new segment called "Dan Says," and a confirmation of why apple picking is, and always will be, a scam. We wrap the episode on a high note with an amazing story about a five year old sprinter who gets the hero's treatment every day after school.

    1 hr 5 min
  • #210 - Surviving Local Oktoberfest, Strava Vs Garmin, & Parallel Parking Sport

    We kick off this episode by not kicking butt at all, as technical difficulties try to take us down and one of us recovers from a week-long cold. Erin tells us about her local Oktoberfest, a story that involves parking in a farm field , a dreaded shuttle bus full of drunk people , and a confusing "cashless" system that requires you to blindly buy tickets to purchase anything. We check in on Dan's very questionable marathon training, which involves no socks , a straw hat , and a unique fueling strategy. In a case of "mom and dad are fighting" , we break down the lawsuit between Strava and Garmin over features like heat maps and segments. We also touch on the Phillies in the playoffs , a clever "tush push" fake out from the Eagles , and a potential match fixing scandal shaking up the NFL. Things get even more obscure as we uncover the high stakes world of competitive parallel parking and a cheating scandal that has rocked the World Stone Skipping Championships. Erin also recounts a trip to the tourist packed town of Jim Thorpe that ends with trespassing to see a bald eagle. We discuss the catharsis of a "scream club" in Chicago , and debate the merits of suing corporations over moldy cookies. Finally, we share a rant about misleading survivalist videos , learn the shocking singular form of "pierogi" , and end on a wholesome note with a video of an elderly woman becoming the main character at a block party.

    55 min
  • #209 - Ironing Scam, Enhanced Games Drama, Harry Style's Marathon Time

    Shout out to teachers on World Teachers Day! We dive into our weekly rants, this time targeting the absolute uselessness of clothes irons and the infuriating scavenger hunt required to find a menu on a restaurant's website. Dan signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon months ago and just started training. Harry Styles' runs a sub three hour marathon under a bizarre alias, we break down the controversial new qualifying times for the Boston Marathon, and share the heartbreaking story of a runner who qualified but missed the registration deadline by minutes.


    We discuss a hilarious viral video of two friends choosing their NFL team for the season based on some... questionable criteria and give a beginner's guide to the world of fantasy football. We also celebrate an epic "big boy touchdown" by the Eagles' Jordan Davis that you have to hear about , introduce you to our new favorite NFL owner, the badass Carly Irsay Gordon of the Colts , and tell the wild story of a 16 year old Giants fan who went to extreme lengths to get a coach fired.

    We also recap the Women's Rugby Championships , discuss a top US sprinter's controversial decision to join the "Enhanced Games" , and explore the surprisingly intense viral competition known as "Tinter Battles". Of course, we had to do a wellness check on our favorite "billionaire boys," so we recap Mark Zuckerberg's hilariously awkward and failed AI glasses demo. This leads to Erin believing she was personally targeted by Zuck's algorithm for making fun of AI. Finally, we wrap things up on a high note with a "No Bad" story about a resident's heartwarming gesture for an elderly couple that is guaranteed to restore your faith in human


    56 min
  • #207 - Noah Lyles of Pugs, AI Podcasts, and How Peanuts Grow

    It's the first day of fall , or as some people weirdly call it, "autumn". We get into the dread of seasonal depression as the days get shorter and share a truly chaotic story after Dan decided to seal the entire driveway by himself. Shoutout Bucky.

    We finalize our road trip to Akron, Ohio, to hopefully podcast on the Goodyear blimp! We're a little concerned about the passenger rules apparently. We also had to get a few things off our chests, from the bizarre rise of AI-generated podcasts to an update on that podcaster who fakes their numbers and somehow landed a Spotify deal. To prove we're still a sports podcast, we talk about the return of the Women's Professional Baseball League and read off a list of the wildest names in college football, including "General Booty" and "Dude Person". We wrap it all up with a great story about NFL player DK Metcalf, who learned American Sign Language to connect with the deaf community and trash-talk his opponents on the field.

    1 hr 2 min
  • #206 - Week Long Crash Out, Most Expensive NFL Hot Dog, & Bluey Alibi

    Happy National Farm Animal Awareness Week, everyone! In this episode, we're both running on fumes. Mike just got off a redeye flight, having slept maybe three hours total, and is in physical pain. Erin has just returned to normalcy after a week-long "crash out" that started when something fell out of a kitchen cabinet. This was all happening while she was also having a nightmare with QuickBooks and her taxes, manually entering transactions and spending days dehydrated at a co-working space to meet the deadline. Meanwhile, Mike was in Seattle and Bellingham for a wedding, staying in a beautiful, architect designed house on a lake that had some definite signs of wealth. Biggest problem was the Wi-Fi. We also share our thoughts on a rather sad whale museum he visited that had a comically small TV for its theater.

    We then get into some planning for our upcoming trip to Ohio to ride the Goodyear blimp, debating whether we should fly or drive. We give a PSA for the upcoming Track and Field World Championships in Tokyo before diving into some NFL stories , including a niche Philly Eagles bar in Tokyo , Jalen Hurts' mom's unhinged TikTok posts , a breakdown of which NFL stadium has the most expensive hot dog and the cheapest, and the hilarious story of Hunter Renfrow missing calls from the Panthers because his daughter was watching Bluey. We also react to a bongo performance of the national anthem at a hockey game and give an important update on Erin's garage toad, Toady. We discuss the controversy surrounding comedian Hannah Berner, who is being accused by fellow comedian Kim Congdon of not paying $10,000 for jokes used in her comedy special. We also celebrate the return of the viral "Krispy lady," who finally tried a Krispy Kreme donut. We cover some interesting competitions, like the world record for the fastest 100 meter dash on Legos barefoot and a high stakes boat docking competition in the Chesapeake Bay. We also talk about the man who breakdanced during a city council meeting to protest a property tax hike. Finally, we share the incredibly wholesome tale of a mom who asked the "workmen of the world" to help convince her son to take naps.


    59 min
  • #205 - David Goggins Controversy, Grand Slam Track Update &FTC Sues LA Fitness

    In this episode, we're back to recording remotely from separate coasts. We kick things off with a rant about the annoying aspects of air travel, the absurdity of an $84 hotel breakfast buffet, and a creative marketing idea that Cracker Barrel missed after trying to change its logo. A major topic is the controversy surrounding David Goggins, as we discuss recent allegations that he is a "deadbeat dad," watch his on stage response.

    In sports news, we get an update on the Grand Slam Track payment failure, with a New York Times report revealing that a primary investor pulled out after the first event. We also explore the intense drug testing protocols for USATF athletes with a breakdown of "whereabouts failures," and discuss a statistic that of the 30 fastest 100 meter sprint times, only nine were run by a clean athlete, all by Usain Bolt. The Enhanced Games are back in the news, as we cover their lawsuit against organizations like World Aquatics for discouraging athletes from participating.

    We also cover a strange record for the most hot dogs dropped from a helicopter, the Goodyear Blimp ride we have scheduled, the FTC suing gyms like LA Fitness for making memberships difficult to cancel, and a bizarre Zillow listing of a house covered in gold foil. We wrap up the show with a "No Bad, No Sad" story about a NASCAR pit crew helping an opponent's team during a race.

    1 hr
  • #204 - Canadian Geese, The Tracksmith Controversy & Jazz on a Plane

    We kick things off with a controversial takedown of Canadian geese and why we'd rather deal with mallards. We also debate the viral video of a jazz band playing on a delayed flight, is it a joy filled party or an overstimulating nightmare? In sports, we answer a listener's question about her husband watching too much NBA, MLB, and college football, and discuss the controversy around Serena Williams promoting a GLP-1 weight loss drug, including shocking revelations from influencer LaToya Snell about deceptive ad practices. We also dive into the online discourse surrounding running brand Tracksmith and their "inauthentic" new trail shoe. Plus, we share the inspiring story of an 88 year old woman ending her 45 year run streak, a German TV show about competitive shopping cart returning, and a heartwarming video of sanitation workers racing a little boy on his bike.

    57 min

About NonMembers Only

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NonMembers Only is a sports(ish) variety show for curious people who aren’t already in the know. Every week, we curate the niche sports, pop culture, and internet stories worth knowing - and when we…

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