Opazovalnica

Jure in Anže odgovarjata na vprašanja in tokrat v osrednji temi: Godlerjev dopust!

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Cartier Tank

Marjan Jerman in Jure letita

Capri

Frecciarossa

Jure in Anže razčlenita Juretovo slikanje in obsodita družabna omrežja.

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Godlerjeva slika

Oprema za slikanje

Jure in Anže posnameta 50. Opazovalnico. Jubilarno.

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Bollinger

Tenzor

Cycle Polo

MKBHD

Floris milo za britje

Renault Kadjar

Jure in Anže o kraljevi poroki in parfumih!

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Ponarejen med

Tom Ford

Jure Anžeta uči glasbo. Skoraj.

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Pravi gusar

Vlado Kreslin – Pustite nam ta svet

Tiziana Rivale – Sarà quel che sarà

Dirty Mozart

10 (1979)

Spartan (2004)

Jure in Anže odigrata zadnji del trilogije dramske igre. Prej pa: Jure je bil v kultu in ima modrico.

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Wild Wild Country

Osho

THE DUKE OF SALZBURG

(A dramatic sketch)

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

THE DUKE OF SALZBURG

SETTING:

IMS: So, you brought him to me.

C: Yes. Wasn’t even hard.

IMS: Good boy, I knew that I could count on you.

C: What do you intend to do with him?

IMS: Hmmm… I don’t know. Yet.

C: Are you going to influence him?

IMS: I just might.

Ian Mascarpone Sparrow moves closer to The Duke.

IMS: So, the great Duke of Salzburg. I’ve heard so much about you and your … big … cock.

The Duke gagging.

IMS: You think very highly of yourself, do you not?

The Duke gagging.

IMS: Commoner, might I get a glass of water? My mouth is getting dry just by looking at this sad Duke.

C: Here you go, your spectacular influencership.

Ian Mascarpone Sparrow drinks.

IMS: My dear Duke… real men boast not about their massive cocks. Real men boast about their sweet rounded and hairy bottoms.

C: Oh, God…

IMS: Real men boast about their fragrant derrieres, shaved to a certain degree but in such a way as to permit patterns made of hair. Patterns of stars, patterns of hearts, patterns of smiling emojis. Patterns which surround the very hole of exhaust – but not that of smelly farts, oh no… that of delicious aromatic vapours which influence other people and make them vacate the premises. Is that not so, Commoner?

C: Yes.

IMS: You have such a behind, have you not?

C: Ummm… yes?

IMS: I’m glad. Show your behind to the Duke so he may better learn the mark of a true man. Remove your trousers.

C: What? No.

IMS: You dare defy me?

C: I’m not removing my pants, period.

IMS: You are on your period?

C: No, I am not removing my trousers, no way.

IMS: Look into my eyes… now! Absorb my rays of influence!

C: NOOOO!

The Duke frees himself and takes a sword.

D: AHA!

Ian Mascarpone Sparrow takes a sword. A sword fight ensues.

D: Leave my friend alone, you grotesque man!

IMS: This was a trick?

C: Yes… I tied The Duke very poorly.

D: And not only that… ha!

C: The water was poisoned!

IMS: Aaaaarhhhhhhhhhhh…

D: Goodbye, you monstrous entity!

IMS: Aaaarghhhhhh….

Ian Mascarpone Sparrow falls to the ground.

D: I am very glad you came to your senses, dear Commoner. You shall now become a Count. Count Thomas the First.

C: Thank you for accepting me into your royal presence, Duke.

D: Don’t mention it. It is time you inhabited this world. Our physical world. And high time to end this online world of influencing. God, this sword fight made me thirsty.

The Duke drinks from Ian Mascarpone Sparrow’s glass.

D: Ahh… much better.

C: I’m thirsty too.

D: Here.

The Commoner drinks too.

Gasps of surprise from both…

THE END

Jure in Anže o Bondih in kam točno je Godler hodil ven v Ljubljani?

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Opazovalnica jr

Velik glavnik

Weird koktejl

Goldeneye N64

Wild Wild Country

Jure in Anže z zamudo bereta pisma in odigrata drugi del drame.

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Zapiski:

Anže Tomić starter pack

THE DUKE OF SALZBURG

(A dramatic sketch)

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

THE DUKE OF SALZBURG

SETTING:

C: Let’s play ball.

D: Don’t let’s play ball.

C: Why not? You’re wearing basketball shorts, aren’t you?

D: (distressed) Yes I am! I have never worn shorts in my life! This is insane!

C: Correct me if I’m wrong but you are also wearing a reversible tank top, are you not?

D: (more distressed) Yes, I bloody well am! What in the world is going on? I look like a polyurethane sack of potatoes! Something is definitely wrong here! I am not feeling myself…

C: Furthermore, you are wearing a pair of fluorescent green trainers, hallelujah!

D: Yes. This must be a dream… oh God, I feel so common! Wake me up! Wake me up!!!

C: Hey, Duke… chill. Let’s play.

D: No! I refuse to play! I demand to know how I got into this ridiculous costume and then some!

C: Here, catch…

The Duke fails to catch the ball.

D: Why is it I get the distinct feeling you’re trying to exert some sort of influence on me?

C: You do?

D: Yes, indeed. I got the sudden urge to photograph my food and do a make-up tutorial at the same time. What kind of sorcery is this?

C: I have a confession to make.

D: Oh?

C: Yes.

D: Well let’s hear it.

C: I am… how can I say this… I am not of this world.

D: How do you mean?

C: I am what you could call… an influencer.

D: An influencer?

C: Yes.

D: You must have gone mad.

C: Oh, no… it’s true.

D: Is that a species?

C: You could say that.

D: Well… where do you live then?

C: We live online.

D: Online? You mean, you’re digital as it were?

C: Indeed we are.

D: An influencer of what over whom?

C: Of will over time and space.

D: A sort of detached Dominion?

C: Mhm.

D: Who’s the ruler of your Dominion?

C: His name… is Ian Mascarpone Sparrow!

D: Good God! My arch nemesis! I knew something ominous was brewing. I knew it emotionally, spiritually and deeply emphatically that the time of peace was coming to an end if peace was truly ever here. The evil so inherent in our times has just ripened. This madness needs to end once and for all… Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, or close…

C: Oh, that’s Shakespeare, come on…

D: Sorry…

C: I hope I didn’t shock you.

D: No, not at all. I knew you were a strange man the moment I laid my eyes on you. I knew then that you were much too peculiar to be just… common.

C: Thank you.

D: Take me to your king. Now!

C: Are you sure? His powers of influence are immense.

D: And I have big cock! Let’s go!

C: Not again…

D: Wouldn’t you like to know what it looks like? In detail?

C: No, thank you, I’ll pass.

D: A classic design at first glance, Grecian in origin…

C: I’ll pass.

D: How it protrudes from the stem towards the blue, free skies of the Commonwealth ever so slightly bent to the left like The Leaning Tower of Pisa and therefore offering a whole new dimension of delight to the female race and an equally devastating blow when dealing with fellow men. Supported by two buoys of freedom it forms indeed a Holy Trinity, the rod, which is the Father, the left testicle, The Son and the right testicle the Holy Spirit respectively, so go on please, baby… INFLUENCE THAT!

C: (coughs in disbelief)

D: Let’s go!

TO BE CONTINUED?

Jure in Anže odigrata mini dramsko igro. Res.

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Noël Coward

Kent 81T glavnik

Kent 20T glavnik

Mulbery

Ricky – Animals

Ricky – Humanity

THE DUKE OF SALZBURG

(A dramatic sketch)

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

THE DUKE OF SALZBURG

SETTING:

THE DUKE – I say, what a simply super day! Up for golf?

THE COMMONER – It’s raining.

THE DUKE – Oh please, do put a bit more effort into your feeble excuses. Deary me, it’s raining. Let’s go play some golf you sissy!

THE COMMONER – Would you like to remind me what happened to your good friend Fergus “Nipple” Wilson III?

THE DUKE – Why?

THE COMMONER – It’s a story with a moral.

THE DUKE – (after a pause) He got struck by lightning… while playing golf in a storm.

THE COMMONER – My point exactly.

THE DUKE – Where’s the moral?

THE COMMONER – The moral is that he is in a grave now.

THE DUKE – If there is any moral to this story then it certainly hasn’t got anything to do with weather but with his steadfast will and determination to play his favourite sport regardless of the elements.

THE COMMONER – He is dead.

THE DUKE – He is. And what a great man he was.

THE COMMONER – Not as great as the elements.

THE DUKE – Well what is death but a …

THE COMMONER – Oh, great. Here comes an epigram…

THE DUKE – Do you have a problem with epigrams?

THE COMMONER – No. Go ahead.

THE DUKE – What is death but … absence of life?

THE COMMONER – That was very deep.

THE DUKE – I know. Sometimes a spontaneous brainstorm in literary capacity will yield brilliant results if one feels inspired, of course. You should try it sometime.

THE COMMONER – I’m making a mental note.

THE DUKE – Ever wondered why he was called “Nipple?”

THE COMMONER – He liked nipples?

THE DUKE – No. He had gynaecomastia.

THE COMMONER – Thank you for putting that image in my mind.

THE DUKE – With extremely big nipples.

THE COMMONER – Thank you again.

THE DUKE – Flaccid, tired, bluish, dead… but quite large. Like the bells in some long forgotten countryside church. Sad, sad nipples.

THE COMMONER – I’m leaving.

THE DUKE – No, don’t go! Let’s do something, shall we? What is it you’d like to do then? Hm?

THE COMMONER – Play my Gameboy.

THE DUKE – I say, how boring! Shall we buy some slaves?

THE COMMONER – What?

THE DUKE – You know… slaves? Have some good old ass whipping fun!

THE COMMONER – We abolished slavery.

THE DUKE – (amazed) Oh… (displeased pause) When?!

THE COMMONER – A while ago.

THE DUKE – I say, what’s next? Give up India?

THE COMMONER – (coughs)

THE END.

Jure in Anže sta bila tokrat v živo. Baje ne zadnjič. Tokrat nič Star Treka.

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Kent glavnik

Letter opener Star Trek

Gruen precision

Higginns jamaica blue mountain

Floris Elite