***Guest Appearance

Credits to:

https://www.youtube.com/@therealestatejam6159 

"Episode 207: How to Raise Private Money w/ Jay Conner"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE1NqIsAgpY 

If you’ve ever wondered how seasoned real estate investors scale their businesses, survive economic downturns, or manage to snap up deals other investors miss out on, the answer is often simpler (and more within your grasp) than you might think: private money. 

In this episode of the Raising Private Money podcast, Jay Conner, the Private Money Authority, recently joined JD and Melissa invited and shared his journey and blueprint for raising and leveraging private funds for real estate investing.

The Journey from Traditional Lending to Private Money

Jay’s story began just like many aspiring investors: relying on traditional banks to fund his real estate deals. For the first six years, banks defined all the rules—from interest rates to the types of projects they could undertake. However, everything changed in January 2009, when Jay’s banker abruptly shut down his line of credit in the midst of a global financial crisis. With deals under contract and profits on the line, Jay faced a challenge: how can you continue investing without the backing of traditional lenders?

The turning point came when Jay reached out to a friend who introduced him to the concept of private money—raising capital directly from individuals who are looking for secured, high-return investments, often leveraging self-directed IRAs. Within just 90 days, Jay raised over $2 million, tripling his business and freeing himself from the constraints of traditional financing forever.

The Mindset Shift: From Begging for Money to Offering Opportunity

One of Jay’s core messages is the importance of approaching private money with the right mindset. “You’re not asking for money or begging for favors. You’re providing an opportunity for people to put their money to work, with great returns and security.” In the podcast, Jay explains that desperation has a smell. Instead of asking for a favor, you educate potential private lenders about your program, show them how it benefits them, and let them make the choice. This “teacher hat” approach shifts the conversation from a sales pitch to a value proposition.

Jay outlines a simple “great news” script: when you have a deal and a lender ready, you simply inform them you can now put their money to work, outline the property and terms, and provide wiring instructions. The key is separation—teach the private lending program first, get them interested, and only later present the specific deal. This builds anticipation and trust, ensuring both parties are aligned.

Who Can Be a Private Lender?

A common misconception among new investors is that you need wealthy, well-connected friends or family. Jay disagrees: your future lenders are everywhere—your social circles, business groups, and even acquaintances of acquaintances. He encourages investors to make a list of everyone they know, and then expand through business networking organizations such as BNI (Business Networking International) or real estate meetup groups. Additionally, existing private lenders (who often frequent self-directed IRA companies’ networking events) are looking for new investment opportunities.

Securing Win-Win Deals

Trust and security are the bedrock of private money. Jay emphasizes the importance of always securing your loans with real estate (never unsecured), naming lenders on insurance and title policies, and never borrowing more than 75% of the after-repaired value (ARV). If something goes wrong, the lender’s money is protected by the property’s value, not just the borrower’s promise.

Communication and integrity are vital.