The NES Classic. AKA Rosebud.

I'm a huge Nintendo fan. Have been since I was a kid. That's what happens when you're sold propaganda at a young age: It sticks. So, when the NES Classic was announced for this Christmas season, I knew I had to have one. I finally managed to score one, but the process by which I did is both hilarious and pathetic, which are two words I expect on my tombstone. For those of you that don't have it yet, I give some pretty good tips on how to change that. Oh, and we take the time to debate Elvis's two Christmas albums and tell you which is better: The skinny Elvis one or the fat Elvis one. Give the gift of laughter this Christmas (and downloads for me) and share this latest episode of Papa's Basement.

'Twas a long weekend.

Haha, just kidding: There's no such thing. Hear about my long weekend, how my newfound stand-up career (attempt) is going and how you CAN avoid hangovers (or can you) on the latest Papa's Basement.

How I felt I was on stage during my first stand-up performance versus how good I really was after watching the tape.

I have talked, on and off, about performing stand-up comedy since I was 20. For whatever reason (my theory is I'm both unmotivated and a gigantic pussy), I never did so until recently. Yes, I, Pete Maybe and Othman Bouchareb, your favorite podcast hosts, signed up for the DC Improv's "Five Minutes To Funny" class, which culminated in the performance of five minute sets by all three of us in front of a full crowd. Hear about the process of writing a set, honing it and then standing in front of strangers while talking about how little sex you get on the latest Papa's Basement.

I just wish he would have watched the potty mouth. You don't need to work blue, kid.

In the wake of a presidential election that left both sides feeling drained and shocked, it can be difficult making sense of what happened. Feelings to sort out. New realities to adjust to. Futures to brace for. Presented with as little partisanship as possible is the latest episode of Papa's Basement which, I humbly suggest, is an hour and 45 minutes of the greatest (and only) knowledge you will need to know not only why things went the way they did for both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, but how to not kill your family on the other side around the Thanksgiving table this year.

Please share the hell out of this episode. It's good. I promise it. And, if you don't, I'll build a GD wall around your car. Try getting to work then, dickfart.

I wanted a politically themed meme and watched Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory 50 times while high as a teen. Presto.

The only thing that makes this episode an "election day special" is that I was too goddamn busy to post it until election day. We actually bitch about the unofficial hipster man Halloween costume (you get a point if you can name it before you listen to the episode) and that it took a World Series game seven between two title-starved franchises to make a baseball game compelling enough for me to stick with. It's a great episode, so you'll enjoy. Just don't expect any startling political prognostication (unless I later edit in me speaking aloud the results of the election and pretend it was part of the episode I recorded last Thursday.)

I grew up hooked on my local guy talk station, WJFK. And my favorite show on the platform was the Don and Mike Show. So it was a real treat for me to get a chance to finally sit down with the show's call screener and often on-air personality, Joe Ardinger.

Joe (in the first part of a two-part interview) walks us through his radio beginnings and what life is like for those of us that primarily work behind the scenes in the radio environment. As a guy who spent the majority of his time in professional radio screening calls and producing, it was great to hear some stories a guy who has done likewise for over two decades.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below the ad).

GET IT?!

Over the weekend, tape leaked of Donald Trump bragging to innocent eunuch Billy Bush that he would walk up to women and grab them by the pussy. And, to be honest, I hated it. Not because I'm a good human being, but fuck him for being born with a silver spoon in his mouth and getting to live like a modern emperor. He was born to a really rich real estate guy and is now a really rich real estate guy. I was born to a locksmith, and now I'm a locksmith. 99% of what you are is who you were born to, folks. Never think otherwise. We talk about the tape, Trump's performance at the second presidential debate and how, despite just nodding and smiling, Billy Bush caught way more shit for this than Lord Combover on the latest Papa's Basement.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below the ad).

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This is what the family photo of every evil frat guy from an 80s comedy must have looked like.

Last year's OJ-fest combined with this year's deluge of programs exploring the JonBenét Ramsey case made me realize something: we are now, as a nation, nostalgic about murders. Is it a cheap ratings grab, or is it truly an odd way we use to remind ourselves of the good old days? I have my take on the latest Papa's Basement.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below the ad).

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It got heated, but I kept my head on a swivel and made it out alive.

I fancy myself a more-than-competent driver. I log a lot of time on the road for work, and I know my way around. So, when someone freaks out on me about my driving hard enough to pull up aside me and scream, well, it's worth debating whether or not I was really in the wrong or not. Listen to me present my case and hear the hilarious aftermath in the wake of a road rage-fuelled traffic bitchout I recently received on the latest episode of Papa's Basement.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below the ad).

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I know this is only due to the fact Norm was the Weekend Update guy of my early teens, but I still think Frank Stallone jokes are the pinnacle of humor.

"Why do you build me up, Buttercup

Just to let me down and mess me around

And then worst of all, you never call, baby

When you say you will, but I love you still

I need you, more than anyone, darlin'

You know that I have from the start

So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart"

If you replace the word "Buttercup" with "SNL writers' tryout," you have a summary of this past week for me, Sara and Pete. Hear us read our submissions and pass judgement. Except, only tell us about your judgment if it's great. Our frail egos have already taken enough pummeling this week.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below the ad).

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