Perfectionism Rewired

Racing through your days on hyper-speed but still not present for any of it? Discover how high-achieving architect Jessica went from pushing through "everything will be better once..." to being present during the most challenging time of her life, her mother’s passing. Hear from Jessica how Perfectionism Optimized coaching gave her the tools to stop the worry/wish cycle, metabolize her stress an handle excruciating times with confidence and grace, and why it's "the best thing I've ever done for myself, I think, in my entire life."

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Episode 226 Timestamps:
00:41-Pushing Through: Super Ineffective Perfectionistic Strategy
01:32-Recognizing Pushing Through in Your Own Life
03:00-The Exhausting Game of "Whack a Mole"
04:54-Chasing the Illusion of "Once It Gets Better"
05:54-Living in Fast Forward or Slow Motion
07:58-Being Present For Meaningful Moments
09:04-Fueling Fierce Ambition in a Grounded Way
10:53-How To Be More Present

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feeling like you can't relax on vacation? As perfectionists the way we relax is completely different than other people. Learn why and how to start relaxing on your own terms.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family on vacation or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to  *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Listen To The Full Episode To Learn:

• Why You Can't Relax on Vacation
• Step-by-step to stop putting pressure on yourself
• How to cultivate the skill of relaxing

Episode 225 Timestamps:
00:00-Why Perfectionists Struggle to Relax on Vacation
01:45-Athleticism of Relaxing: Training Your Mind to Unwind
05:41-How can I clear my mind and relax
06:50-Dissolve Pressure and Anxiety While Relaxing
08:53-Getting an A+ in Relaxing as a Perfectionist

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Take the overwhelm out of perfectionism, starting today with the one SKILL SET you’ve never been taught. #truthbooth it’s the only skill set that’ll save you from a life that feels frustrating - like you’re always chasing happiness. Because when you put yourself in charge of your internal world and remove overwhelm- the way you show up in the world shifts. Like you're no longer snapping at your partner or seizing up with anxiety when looking at your email.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to exude confidence in  each + every part of your life and *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Listen To The Full Episode To Learn:

• Why Outsourcing  Increases Overwhelm For Perfectionists
• What you Gain by Developing resilience and inner calm instead of depending on control
• How to Feel Amazing Right Now - No More Overthinking or Doubting

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world? You want to be a present parent, crush it at work, keep it fresh with your partner, call your bestie back and drink your water, BUT when you compartmentalize and be whoever you need to be to get the result, you end up exhausted. Say goodbye to the exhausting cycle of squishing yourself to fit in. Trade being contrived for exuding confidence, with the only sustainable solution for ambitious perfectionistic people. Plus hear about that one time CLG sharted in her jumpsuit🤣

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or turning down the volume on self-criticism, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to exude confidence in  each + every part of your life and *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Why compartmentalizing parts of yourself leads to burnout, disconnection and resentment in your relationships.
• How to be grounded and solid in who are, without the wishy-washy contorting yourself to meet external expectations.
• Giving yourself permission to experience joy without conditions

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feeling Clenchy? Discover the truth about what *really* happens when you let go of rigid rules that've made you super successful. I'm giving you the uncensored inside scoop on exactly wha happened when I stopped fisting, opened up to new possibilities and began to surf my own ocean--my achieving + energy increased 80%!!!!!  If you're exhausted or feel like it's always something, this episode will give you the fuel  to rise up. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or breaking generational cycles of Self-Criticism, Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching is how you expand your confidence, make your choices aligned with your values and *finally feel* as amazing as your life looks. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Why wayyy too often perfectionists overwork while oblivious to our own underperforming (aka sunk cost fallacy)
• How to know if you're fisting
• Where you can go to get unrivaled support designed specifically for high performance people who want to feel good again without sacrificing

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of I should be past this and using your intellectual smarts as evil tools to hammer yourself with, this episode is for you. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or breaking generational cycles of Self-Criticism, Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching is how you expand your confidence, make your choices aligned with your values and *finally feel* as amazing as your life looks. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Unconscious Competence: Understanding embodied knowledge vs mental masturbation
•  How telling yourself "I should know this" is the cowardly response (and what the courageous one is)
• Why knowing something intellectually doesn't translate to action 

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Fighting against yourself IS playing life on torture mode AND entirely OPTIONAL. Most solutions for overcoming perfectionism suck. They're not empowering, efficient or any FUN, plus research shows Overcoming Perfectionism simply *doesn’t work*when you are driven, ambitious, caring, high-performer. That’s WHY I’m revealing how you can take your frustrating perfectionistic tendencies—like catastrophizing, people-pleasing and overthinking— and remix them with refreshingly practical perspectives from our neurodiversity neighbor, ADHD. 

Want to feel as incredible on the inside as your life looks on the outside? Then you gotta check out Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE for driven, ambitious, Type-A high performers with perfectionistic tendencies. Inquire today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized  

Perfectionism Rewired podcast is brought to you by America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, Courtney Love Gavin (CLG) and is committed to neuroscience truth + accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens.

WTF does Perfectionist Affirming mean? Perfectionist affirming is an empowered view where perfectionistic tendencies are not seen as deficits to be “fixed” -  no victims, powerlessness or fighting against. Instead your perfectionism is leveraged to work for you. Part of neurodiversity movement that sees humans as uniquely wired individuals who all experience the world differently.

Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138

Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981

Otsuka T. (2023). ADHD For Smart Ass Women (1st ed.). William Morrow

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Feel like Perfectionism is controlling you? That you’re at the mercy of your perfectionist tendencies? Or that life would be easier if you weren’t such a perfectionist? Perfectionism is not a choice. But you can choose how you want to navigate through it, and that choice is powerful. Discover how the greats Dolly Parton, Serena Williams, Kobe Bryant, Sara Blakely, Marie Kondo have leveraged their perfectionism to shine. Through scientific research and personal experiences, you'll discover step-by-step how it's possible to rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out, just like CLG did.

Rewire the right way (not the hype way) inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE + exclusively designed for driven, ambitious + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to feel as incredible on the inside as their life looks on the outside.  Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized  

00:00-Understanding Learned Helplessness Embedded In Perfectionism Recovery

01:28-Challenging Lies About Perfectionists with Science

02:16-Celebrating Famous Perfectionists Behind World-Changing Innovation

03:55-WTF Are Enduring Identity Markers + Why Do They Matter?

05:12-Unlearning Learned Helplessness with Dr. Martin Seligman (Godfather of Positive Psychology)

06:11-The Problem With Blaming Perfectionism

07:03-Flipping Helplessness to Empowerment

08:46-Rediscovering Being In Charge and Response-ability

10:12-Helplessness + Feeling Out of Control Re: Childhood Conditioning

11:58-Reframing Perfectionism as an Empowerment Journey

13:20-How To Quit Fighting Against Your Perfectionism + Work WITH It

15:05-What incest + perfectionism recovery have in common

16:40-Getting Your Perfectionism Right

17:25-Quality Questions To Snuff Out Helplessness  

Abramson, L. Y., Seligman, M. E., & Teasdale, J. D. (1978). Learned helplessness in humans: Critique and reformulation. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87(1), 49–74. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.87.1.49

Quchani, M. (2023). The mediating role of coping styles in the association between perfectionism and learned helplessness in students’ population. Annales Médico-Psychologiques, 181(7), 619–627. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amp.2022.07.010

Woodfin, V., Binder, P. E., & Molde, H. (2020). The Psychometric Properties of the Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale–Brief. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 1860.

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Got resentment? Uncover where resentment is hiding in your home responsibilities and the No. 1 mistake you're probably making when it comes to communicating your frustration (this takes you out of black and white thinking).  Plus the ONE TOOL that makes you 90% less resentful towards your partner + makes 100% sense as to why you feel like it's all on your shoulders. This TOOL is like having the power to show upcoming storms in your relationship, dissolve them ahead of time and avoid saying mean things you feel guilty about later  – for  both you + partner! 
 

Upgrade from resentment to reconnection inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE + exclusively designed for driven, ambitious + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to feel as incredible on the inside as their life looks on the outside.  Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized
 

• Graff, T. C., Birmingham, W. C., Wadsworth, L. L., & Hung, M. (2023). Doing it all: Effects of Family Responsibilities and Marital Relationship Quality on Mothers’ Ambulatory Blood Pressure. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 58(1), 67–78. https://doi.org/10.1093/abm/kaad058
• Hiekel, N., & Ivanova, K. (2023). Changes in Perceived Fairness of Division of Household Labor Across Parenthood Transitions: Whose Relationship Satisfaction Is Impacted? Journal of Family Issues, 44(4), 1046-1073. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X211055119
• Nelson, M. H. (2022). Resentment Is Like Drinking Poison? The Heterogeneous Health Effects of Affective Polarization. Journal of Health and Social Behavior/Journal of Health & Social Behavior, 63(4), 508–524. https://doi.org/10.1177/00221465221075311

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Building Resilience IRL Intimate, all access behind-the-scenes look of how I get my anxious, overthinking Type-A high performance perfectionistic brain to calm TF down *when Anxiety strikes*. Previously only available on the Private Client Podcast, sharing with you in celebration of my birthday AND to show you there IS a MUCH better way to deal with your perfectionism. Where you're in charge, confident and connected to YOUR values. If you want to get out of your own way and be more present, this is the episode for you! 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Build confidence, courage and conviction in yourself while you playfully take charge and get out of your own way, with   Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching exclusively for driven, Type-A, high achieving perfectionists who are committed to excellence. Get your stress-free start, today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• Two biggest mistakes Perfectionists make when anxiety, panic, overwhelm strikes
• How Courtney Love Gavin changed from a life filled with fear and self-criticism to one of joy, resilience and strength
• The importance of LSD in overcoming anxiety and annoying perfectionistic tendencies.

• Handley, A. K., Egan, S. J., Kane, R. T., & Rees, C. S. (2014). The relationships between perfectionism, pathological worry and generalised anxiety disorder. BMC Psychiatry, 14(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244x-14-98
• Price, C. J., & Hooven, C. (2018). Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT). Frontiers in Psychology, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00798
• Schoeller, Félix & Haar Horowitz, Adam & Jain, A. & Maes, Pattie. (2019). Enhancing human emotions with interoceptive technologies. Physics of Life Reviews. 31. 10.1016/j.plrev.2019.10.008.

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.