Perfectionism Rewired

Discover the extraordinary scientifically proven benefits of rewiring your perfectionism with special guest and former #recovering perfectionist, CEO Dylan. Plus the hidden costs of unchecked perfectionism and how it's sucking the life out of you (literally). 

Ready to leverage your perfectionism in WAY YOU LOVE WITHOUT all the victimy #recoveringperfectionist, be less ambitious BS  you've been told all your life? Enter  Perfectionism Optimized, the ONLY high-integrity private coaching program for perfectionists that empowers neurodiverse, high-achieving and Type A individuals to quit fighting against their perfectionism forever using proven neuroscience so that you can *FINALLY* feel as amazing as your life looks and embody the powerhouse you’re designed to be. Get your stress free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

1. How to harmonize your high standards with a high-stakes career and transform your perfectionistic drive into a source of strength and resourcefulness.
2. Why rewiring your perfectionism creates breakthroughs in perception and efficiency, empowering you to approach challenges with curiosity and creativity.
3. Uncover the reasons why perfectionists often overwork yet remain oblivious to their own underperforming, and how you can develop a keen sense of self-awareness to break free from this cycle of striving and self-criticism.

TIMESTAMPS Ep. 216:
 00:00-The Perfectionist's Dilemma: Chasing Satisfaction
01:55-Meet Dylan: Seeing Problems Everywhere
03:37-Overworking To Distract From Self-Criticism
06:19-Interoceptive Awareness Shifts Anxious to Excited
08:04-IRL Rewired Perfectionist Success: Dylan's Journey Continues
09:47-Why Achievements Feel Empty and How to Change That
10:12-Science of Feeling Good: Dopamine and Serotonin Explained
11:55-Building Emotional Agility and Resilience
15:24-How Rewired Perfectionism Enhances Mental Focus + Confidence
17:59-Courageously Running Towards vs Fearfully Running Away
21:53-Dropping contempt and judgment that blocks change

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Do You Play to Win—or to Not Lose? (2013, March). Retrieved January 29, 2024, from Harvard Business Review website: https://hbr.org/2013/03/do-you-play-to-win-or-to-not-lose
• Covington, Martin V., and Kimberly J. Müeller. “Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Motivation: An Approach/Avoidance Reformulation.” Educational Psychology Review 13, no. 2 (2001): 157–76. doi:10.1023/A:1009009219144.
• Sirois, F. M., J. Monforton, and M. Simpson. “If Only I Had Done Better: Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 36, no. 12 (2010): 1675–92. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614.
• Suh, H., Gnilka, P. B., & Rice, K. G. (2017). Perfectionism and well-being: A positive psychology framework. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 25–30. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.041
  ‌

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

For driven perfectionists self-sabotage often appears as status quo success and our unfulfilling choices are applauded. Bc these self-sabotaging perfectionistic patterns go undetected, you’re off chasing an illusion of control, achieving under pressure with an overcrowded schedule, snipping at your spouse,  thinking I'll be happy when..."  only to find the goalposts keep moving. Discover precisely how to recognize your own self-defeating perfectionism patterns, exactly what's driving your self-sabotaging behaviors and the perfectionist's guide to stop self-sabotage.. 

If you're committed to intentionally moving beyond autopilot and   Perfectionism Optimized  high-integrity private coaching is for you! Sumptuous, science-backed solutions designed specifically for tenacious Type-A perfectionists. Get your stress free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Do You Play to Win—or to Not Lose? (2013, March). Retrieved January 29, 2024, from Harvard Business Review website: https://hbr.org/2013/03/do-you-play-to-win-or-to-not-lose
• Covington, Martin V., and Kimberly J. Müeller. “Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Motivation: An Approach/Avoidance Reformulation.” Educational Psychology Review 13, no. 2 (2001): 157–76. doi:10.1023/A:1009009219144.
• Sirois, F. M., J. Monforton, and M. Simpson. “If Only I Had Done Better: Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 36, no. 12 (2010): 1675–92. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614.
• Suh, H., Gnilka, P. B., & Rice, K. G. (2017). Perfectionism and well-being: A positive psychology framework. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 25–30. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.041
  ‌

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

What if your self critic is actually a caring signal from your unconscious, warning you of danger ahead + to get off this path? Your self critic is not the enemy; it's an alarm bell from your body. But it's near impossible to listen to it with all the NOISE + stigma surrounding criticism, self-love and self-compassion. Discover the health consequences of self-criticism and lessons from pro-athlete perfectionist who finally figured it out. This is the third episode in the self-criticism trilogy. 

I'm inviting you into the one place that can make your self critic a thing of the past— all you gotta do is take the first step.  Go for it today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Ep. 214 Timestamps

02:04-The Iceberg of Self-Criticism

03:27-Why Traditional Self Critic Approaches Fail Perfectionists

04:37-Lessons From Pro-Athlete Perfectionism Optimized Client

07:07-Link Between Cancer + Inner Critic

08:02-From Criticism to Critical Condition IRL

09:11-Making the Choice to Change 
 

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Campos, R. C., Holden, R. R., Caçador, B., Ana Sofia Fragata, & Baleizão, C. (2018). Self-criticism, intensity of perceived negative life events, and distress: Results from a two-wave study. Personality and Individual Differences, 124, 145–149. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.12.004
• Ferrari, M., Ciarrochi, J., Yap, K., Baljinder Sahdra, & Hayes, S. C. (2022). Embracing the Complexity of our Inner Worlds: Understanding the Dynamics of Self-Compassion and Self-Criticism. Mindfulness, 13(7), 1652–1661. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-022-01897-5
• Thakur, N., & Baumann, N. (2022). Breaking the anxious cycle of self-criticism: Action orientation buffers the detrimental effects of a self-critical personality style. Journal of Affective Disorders, 301, 30–35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.01.014

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

The massive opportunity-costs you are blind to every time you self criticize, how habitual self-criticism creates insidious patterns of self-sabotage and 3 simple steps to be high-quality in all areas of your life WITHOUT self-criticism. This is the second episode of the trilogy on self-criticism iceberg. 

Ready to liberate yourself from perfectionism prison? If you want to know how to work WITH YOUR brilliant perfectionistic brain, feel as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside and live unapologetically true to who you be + what you value Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Here's where you start  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Is your Self-Criticism only getting worse? Overthinking a million ways you suck your mind's go-to? If your self-criticism cycles JUST won't quit, it's not bc you need more self-compassion, self-love or a less tragic childhood. It's simply bc you're focusing on the wrong problem and by misidentifying your problem, you're missing out on all the super simple solutions. That silliness ends NOW. Discover the 8 undercover forces driving your self-criticism cycles AND exactly how to solve each one.

If you're DONE with self-criticism holding you back + want to remember what playfully proud of yourself feels like and gain lifetime skills that make you stronger, happier, braver, calmer + more resilient  Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Sumptuous, science-backed solutions designed specifically for YOUR perfectionistic tendencies. Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Ep. 212 Timestamps

00:00-Identifying WHY You Self-Criticize
02:46-The ROOT of Self-Critical Pattern No. 1
05:10-How ADHD Feeds Off Self-Criticism
07:20-Why Am I So Hard On Myself? SOLVED
09:55-When Your Career Demands Your Self Critic
11:45-Solutions That Actually Work for Overly Critical Achievers
13:25-Criticizing Yourself to Create Change
16:45-Hyper Critical Power Dynamics
18:33-How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Campos, R. C., Holden, R. R., Caçador, B., Ana Sofia Fragata, & Baleizão, C. (2018). Self-criticism, intensity of perceived negative life events, and distress: Results from a two-wave study. Personality and Individual Differences, 124, 145–149. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.12.004
• Ferrari, M., Ciarrochi, J., Yap, K., Baljinder Sahdra, & Hayes, S. C. (2022). Embracing the Complexity of our Inner Worlds: Understanding the Dynamics of Self-Compassion and Self-Criticism. Mindfulness, 13(7), 1652–1661. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-022-01897-5
• Thakur, N., & Baumann, N. (2022). Breaking the anxious cycle of self-criticism: Action orientation buffers the detrimental effects of a self-critical personality style. Journal of Affective Disorders, 301, 30–35. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2022.01.014

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

How raising your standards solves the perfectionistic tendencies that've been holding you back. Hear from Perfectionism Optimized client Brian who was exhausted from being everything to everyone while pulled in a million directions and how making this ONE swap immediately created a cascade of less stress, more presence and legit enjoyment in his dynamic life.

Whether it's spending quality time with your family, stop dreading the guilt you’ll feel on vacation or dealing with the pressures of being excellent at everything, this episode gives you a step-by-step guide on the inner workings of perfectionist brains and how to easily structure your days around what's most meaningful to YOU.

Why lower your standards when raising them upgrades your entire life? If you're committed to being stronger, happier, braver + more resilient and want the only tools designed specifically for driven overachievers to feel as amazing as their life looks Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Listen to the full episode to learn:

• Empowering strategies for setting boundaries and honoring your needs without guilt or resentment
• How making a 1% shift in your standards creates a 100% difference in your daily life
• Step-by-step to structure your days around what's most meaningful to YOU

00:00-Raising standards for perfectionists = upgrades relationships + focus
02:29-Brian's Story: Client Case Study on Changing Life Dynamics
04:16-The True Meaning of Raising Your Standards
06:15-What Raising Your Standards as a Perfectionist Is Like IRL
09:00-The EPIC Framework™ Empowered Presence and Interoceptive Connection
11:09-Action Steps to Identify + Attune Your Own Standards
13:45-Trying to Control vs Being in Charge
15:17-Constantly battling your own unrealistic expectations?

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Exactly how you can end the never good enough cycle right now, for real + for-ever. Plus WHY what you've tried before didn't work +  why this will work FOR you. PERIOD. 

Why settle for good enough when you could be empowered? If you want the only tools designed specifically for perfectionists to move beyond never enough,  skills that make you stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionistic tendencies, Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Ep. 210 Timestamps

00:00-Never Good Enough No Matter How Hard You Try
01:19-Am I Good Enough
03:30-Moving Beyond Inadequacy Fallacy
05:12-When is enough is enough
06:07-No Wonder You Feel Not Good Enough
07:11-The Game Is Rigged So You Feel Inadequate
08:20-How Affirmations Erode Self-Trust
09:52-Playing a Better Game: Empowered Perfectionism
10:55-How to Be Present + Relaxed in a Purpose Driven Life

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981
• Pannhausen, S., Klug, K., & Rohrmann, S. (2020). Never good enough: The relation between the impostor phenomenon and multidimensional perfectionism. Current Psychology, 41(2), 888–901. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-00613-7
• Sinek, Simon (2020) The Infinite Game. London, England: Portfolio Penguin.

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

The MOST productive + positive way to quit people-pleasing, ruminating, catastrophizing, overthinking, second guessing yourself, constantly seeking reassurance, answering work emails on vacation, over-apologizing. The real reason WHY you haven’t been able to stop despite knowing harmful side effects. Awesome acronym to identity your own perfectionistic landmines + step-by-step how to get relief that elevates you instead of keeps you stuck spinning out. 

You don't have to white knuckle your perfectionism. And if you feel like you are, I invite you to come coach with me 1-on-1 inside Perfectionism Optimized, where you'll learn how to take charge of your perfectionistic tendencies, which means you'll finally feel as awesome as your life looks and stop trying to control everyone in your orbit. Get your stress-free start today at courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Fear of failure holding you back? Can't stop obsessing over what you should've done better? I'm telling you exactly how to stop being judgmental, drop the fear of failure and always know if you're doing a good job with a way that's more useful, feels better + helps you progress wayyyy faster  Listen to liberate yo self from the cycle of fear and self-consciousness. 

If you’re committed to being stronger, happier, braver, more resilient and want in-depth personalized support rewiring your perfectionism, Perfectionism Optimized 1-1 coaching is for you! Get your stress-free start today at  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Listen to the full episode to learn:

• How being judgmental is the silent killer of your relationships (esp. with people you love the most)
• Where sneaky judgment is lurking in your own life
• Why you’re stuck + how mistakes are the solution
• EXACTLY how to legit enjoy failure

00:00-How Judgment Holds Perfectionists Back
02:20-Fear of Failure + Its Dangerous Consequences
03:51-Why Am I So Hard On Myself
05:26-Being Judgmental is a Protection Mechanism
06:33-What Lies Beneath Your Judgment
07:30-From Judging Yourself to Joyful Winning
09:27-Exactly how to drop judgmental
12:22-Trading Contempt for Curiosity + Experimentation
14:42-How To 13x Building Your Resilience
15:53-Rewiring Your Perfectionistic Patterns From The Inside Out

Truth + Accuracy In This Episode Is Brought To You By:

• Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981
• Hitchcock, P. F., Britton, W. B., Mehta, K. P., & Frank, M. J. (2022). Self-judgment dissected: A computational modeling analysis of self-referential processing and its relationship to trait mindfulness facets and depression symptoms. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 23(1), 171–189. https://doi.org/10.3758/s13415-022-01033-9
• Ong, C. W., Lee, E. B., Petersen, J. M., Levin, M. E., & Twohig, M. P. (2021). Is perfectionism always unhealthy? Examining the moderating effects of psychological flexibility and self‐compassion. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 77(11), 2576–2591. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23187

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Uncover how perfectionism impacts your intimate relationships and the No. 1 mistake you're probably making when it comes to resentment, Plus the ONE SKILL that makes you 90% less overwhelmed? It's like having the power to predict and avoid emotional meltdowns – for yourself! 

Ready to rewire? Upgrade resentment for resilience inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching exclusively made for for driven perfectionists + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to quit fighting against themselves forever. Melt your stress away starting today over at:  https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Referenced In the Episode:

• Carrying vs Caring In Relationships (Ep. 202) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/lighten-your-load-caring-deeply-without-taking-on-too-much
• How Perfectionistic Brains Work (Ep. 193) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/will-save-your-sanity-might-just-change-your-life

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.