Perfectionism Rewired

Hurry, it’s your last chance to rewire your perfectionistic patterns in an accelerated 6 weeks with just you + CLG inside the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator Be sure to apply NOW or forever hold your peace! Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator 1.0 is closing + retiring forever on Friday February 16, 2024.  

Tp get in on this spaceship before it blasts off, go to courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator today. 

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Are you a high achiever who secretly struggles when things don't go according to plan? A setback occurs and it feels like your world is falling apart? SAME. In this episode, I'm candidly sharing my recent stumbles and how I moved forward without blame, making myself small or beating my self to a pulp. You'll learn what NOT to do when things go awry, how to melt away the ruminating and catasrophizing and what to do with all those feelings inside (it's not AT ALL what you think).

If you're ready to experience the amazingness that comes with being an empowered perfectionist  and want proven, science-backed tools to PLAYFULLY INTERRUPT the perfectionistic habits currently cramping your prolificness, you belong inside the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Learn:

1. What happens when you get a sucky setback surprise and how to empoweringly rise to the occasion.
2. How to move forward without turning into a robot or constantly beating yourself up over what went "wrong"
3. Where all your power is and how to skip the ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the future
4. Why You want to focus on moving THROUGH your feelings, instead of fixating on what's causing them or why they are there
5. Strategies you can start using today to stop beating yourself up + handle setbacks with expert-level skills

Referenced In the Episode:

• How Perfectionistic Brains Work (Ep. 193) https://perfectionismrewired.com/episode/will-save-your-sanity-might-just-change-your-life

Ep. 206 TimeStamps
00:00-When Everything Goes Wrong Despite Your Best Efforts
02:02-Understanding Why Your Inner Critic Calls
03:20-Accepting Life As A Human = Embracing Adaptability Over Rigid Planning
04:39-Ruminating + Futility of Dwelling on Your Past
05:32-Power of Living in the Present
06:47-The Doritos Analogy: Choosing Better Responses
07:39-Debunking the Cause-and-Effect Fallacy
08:29-Taking Responsibility for Your Choices
09:11-How to Handle Emotions Constructively
10:06-Staying Present to Rise Above Challenges
11:17-Overcoming the Self-Criticism Trap
12:56-Embracing Mistakes and Perfectionist Humanity

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Break free from stressy ruminating + overthinking TODAY with this simple tool that shows you how to calm your mind from overthinking. Listen as I walk you step-by-step how you can get an accurate read of what's happening inside your head + clear up your perspective so that you can finally feel calm-ish.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do or PRESENCE with your family, Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching is how you expand your confidence, make choices aligned with your values and *finally feel* as amazing as your life looks. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• The best tool for how to deal with anxiety and overthinking
• How to stop ruminating
• A tool that helps your mind chatter slow down, so you're no longer anxious and overthinking

• Russell, J.L. Stuck on repeat: Why do we continue to ruminate?. Synthese 199, 13143–13162 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11229-021-03370-7

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

You're used to being the go-to person, who's always happy to help and yet..why is it so freaking hard for you to ask for support? Discover how perfectionism isn't an excuse, it's an explanation and how to advocate for yourself on this empowering episode.

If you want to have the capacity, courage & certainty to seek support and leverage it, you gotta check out my 1-1 coaching for high-achievers with perfectionistic tendencies Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Hear:

• The 2 ways perfectionists accidentally self-sabotage + how to rise above them immediately
• How to deal with internal judgment and awkwardness when you're used to being the person people go to for support
• What to do if you're caught up in "shoulds" and feeling like you're not where you should be

• Meeting Yourself Where You Are Not wheere you think you should be (Ep. 187)
• Holding Two Truths At The Same Time (Ep. 143)

EP.204 TIMESTAMPS:

00:00-Perfectionism as Self-Advocacy

01:22-The Awkwardness of Seeking Support

02:08-Learning to Meet Yourself Where You're At

04:33-Identifying Areas You'd Secretly Love Some Support

06:17-Finding Your Path to Rewire Your Perfectionism

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Are you tired of white-knuckling it? Ready to move beyond relentless people-pleasing and pretending to be calm? Discover the real reason you're not overcoming perfectionism (it has nothing to do with how hard you’re trying) and how to stop settling for a life of miserable meh as a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism Leveraged client Whitney courageously shares her story of being tightly wound mom of 3 young girls, addicted to control, teetering on burnout in a prison yard of her own making and magnificently frustrated. Hear how she found the willingness to experiment, let go of control and rewired to become a powerhouse, present parent who's daughters are SO proud of their mom.

If you want to make sure crippling perfectionism NEVER CONTROLS YOU AGAIN and want proven, science-backed tools to PLAYFULLY INTERRUPT the perfectionistic habits currently holding you hostage, you gotta check out the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator fast-track. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/accelerator

Listen to the Full Episode To Hear:

• Why you want to find a playground for your perfectionism to come alive.
• What Whitney did step-by-step to go from a warning label to become a shining example to her 3 kids through redefining her relationship with perfectionism + reconnecting with play
• Refreshingly practical questions to ask yourself to go from enduring to enjoying your own perfectionistic tendencies

1. Your Resilience Zone™: Part of proprietary EPIC method combining Embodied neuroscience, Presence somatic, Interoceptive Connection, proven to permanently rewire perfectionism and increase playfulness
2. Perfectionism Leveraged: empowers perfectionists and high-achieving, Type A individuals to take charge of their perfectionistic tendencies and quit fighting against their perfectionism forever using proven neuroscience so you can feel as amazing as your life looks and become the powerhouse you're designed to be.

Episode 203 TIMESTAMPS:

00:00-From Enduring to Enjoying Your Perfectionistic Tendencies

01:48-Overcome Perfectionism Feel Good Way

02:53-The Never-Ending Need for Play

03:18-Neuroscience and Play in Adulthood

04:35-Reconnecting With Your Playful Self

05:41-Steps to Create Your Perfectionism Playground

06:03-Case Study: Whitney's Journey with Perfectionism

07:38-Impact of Perfectionist Parenting on Children

09:15-What Cooking + Rewiring Perfectionism Have in Common

10:58-Seeking Help to Uncover YOUR Perfectionist Playground

11:48-Benefits of the Perfectionism Rewired Accelerator

Sciencey Credible Citations Referenced In This Exciting Episode:

1. ‌‌‌Kiverstein, J., & Miller, M. (2023). Special Issue: Experiencing Well-BeingPlayfulness and the meaningful life: an active inference perspective. Neuroscience of Consciousness, 2023(1). https://doi.org/10.1093/nc/niad024
2. Parkin, S. (2017, January 4). How Video Games Satisfy Basic Human Needs. Retrieved January 28, 2024, from Nautilus website: https://nautil.us/how-video-games-satisfy-basic-human-needs-236347/
3. Siviy, S. M. (2016). A brain motivated to play: insights into the neurobiology of playfulness. Behaviour, 153(6-7), 819–844. https://doi.org/10.1163/1568539x-00003349

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

You know logically it’s not *your job* to fix everything in your orbit yet the moment anything goes awry, you feel like the outcome is all on your shoulders. An overactive sense of responsibility can be a tough habit to rewire when you CARE deeply. Learn how to easily distinguish between CARE-ING and CARRY-ING.  Plus practical tips you can use immediately for being empathetic + present without getting bogged down by other people's emotions. 

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire

• The crucial distinctions between caring for people and carrying their load 
• Why an overactive sense of responsibility impacts your peace, presence and growth
• How to be empathetic. (the healthy way)
• Practical tips you can use (today!) to lighten your load and enhance your emotional intelligence

1. Bohns, V., Newark, D., & Boothby, E. (2018, October 8). When do We Feel Responsible for Other People’s Behavior and Attitudes? https://www.researchgate.net/publication/327854931_When_do_We_Feel_Responsible_for_Other_People's_Behavior_and_Attitudes
2. Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
3. Sugiura, Y., & Fisak, B. (2019). Inflated Responsibility in Worry and Obsessive Thinking. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 12(2), 97–108. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41811-019-00041-x‌
4. Tangney, J. P., Burggraf, S. A., & Wagner, P. E. (1995). Shame-proneness, guilt-proneness, and psychological symptoms. In J. P. Tangney & K. W. Fischer (Eds.), Self-conscious emotions: The psychology of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride (pp. 343–367). Guilford Press.
5. Wiltermuth, S. S., & Cohen, T. R. (2014). “I’d only let you down”: Guilt proneness and the avoidance of harmful interdependence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(5), 925–942. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037523

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

 Discover why compulsively seeking more information to solve perfectionistic problems is actually self-sabotage and how you can upgrade obsessively finding the right answers to playfully pursuing the correct ones FOR YOU. Plus how to know when searching for the perfect way to fix yourself is secretly holding you back and the 5 hidden dangers all driven high-performers want to be aware of.

Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) When you decide to rewire your perfectionistic tendencies through private 1-1 coaching, you gain the EPIC SKILLS that LIBERATE you from intrusive thoughts, self-sabotage and put you back in charge. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/services

Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Costumes procrastination and self-sabotage wear when you’re a perfectionist or high performer
• My high-performance strategy for effectively absorbing and implementing vital new information
• Why accumulating more information kills your progress + potential for growth

• 7 Signs Your Striving Is From Insecurity Instead of Power (Episode 80)
• Navigating Advocacy As A Perfectionist (Ep. 1 Self-Advocacy Series)
• Sunk Cost Fallacy (Ep. 2  Self-Advocacy  Series)
• Maybe It's Not Your Fault (Ep. 3 Self-Advocacy Series)
• 7 Signs Your Striving Is From Insecurity Instead of Power (Episode 80)

00:00-Letting Go of Obsession with Finding the Right Answers

01:38-Iceberg Analogy of Perfectionism

02:10-Limitations of a Checklist Approach To Fixing Yourself

03:03-The Pitfalls of Overvaluing Knowledge

04:06-Procrastination + Self-Sabotage in Disguise

05:01-Integrating + Implementing Wisdom

06:10-The 3X Approach to Consuming Information

07:25-Mindful Consumption of Knowledge

09:18-Redefining Your Core Identity

10:15-Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Arnold, M., Mascha Goldschmitt, & Rigotti, T. (2023). Dealing with information overload: a comprehensive review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1122200
‌
Middlebrooks, C. D. (2017). Selectively Distracted: Divided Attention and Memory for Important Information - Catherine D. Middlebrooks, Tyson Kerr, Alan D. Castel, 2017. Retrieved January 14, 2024, from Psychological Science website: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797617702502
‌
Solms, L., Koen, J., A.E.M. van Vianen, Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., Anne, & Matthijs de Hoog. (2022). Simply effective? The differential effects of solution-focused and problem-focused coaching questions in a self-coaching writing exercise. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.895439

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

What *really* happens when you upgrade from control to power, the suck of growth as a perfectionist and ultimately finding empowerment in what initially seems like a total disaster. Join me (CLG) on the never before shared journey of choosing to rise to the occasion of being a perfectionist as I unravel my own striving, intrusive thoughts and how to playfully let go.

Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) get customized 1-1 coaching + the EPIC SKILLS that LIBERATE you from intrusive thoughts, self-sabotage and put you back in command. Discover your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/services

• courtneylovegavin.com
• Power of Paradox ep. 143
• Navigating Advocacy As A Perfectionist (Ep. 1 Self-Advocacy Series)
• Sunk Cost Fallacy (Ep. 2  Self-Advocacy  Series)
• Medical Gaslighting + Misdiagnosis (Ep. 3 Self-Advocacy Series)
• How To Let Go Of Perfectionism (Shame Avoidance) ep. 145

00:00-Striving becomes Self-sabotage

04:15-Once Upon A Perfectionist named CLG

6:06-Black and white thinking

10:38-How to stop overthinking

12:22-Embodied Presence Interoception Connection (E.P.I.C. Framework™)

13:20-Shifting from Shame Avoidance to Satisfying Success

14:42-Practice Makes Permanent

15:51-Intrusive Thoughts

17:27-Enjoying your perfectionism instead of enduring

20:43-Fixed Mindset

25:00-How To Feel Good NOW

Boon Chong Ng. (2018). The Neuroscience of Growth Mindset and Intrinsic Motivation. Brain Sciences, 8(2), 20–20. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci8020020

Dorevitch, B., Buck, K., Fuller‐Tyszkiewicz, M., Phillips, L., & Krug, I. (2020). Maladaptive Perfectionism and Depression: Testing the Mediating Role of Self-Esteem and Internalized Shame in an Australian Domestic and Asian International University Sample. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01272
‌
Dweck, C. S., Walton, G. M., & Cohen, G. L. (2014). Academic Tenacity Mindsets and Skills that Promote Long-Term Learning. Retrieved from https://ed.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/manual/dweck-walton-cohen-2014.pdf
‌
Jung, C. G. (1957). The transcendent function.

Montano, L. T. (2023). The Relationship of Perfectionism and Peace of Mind: The Mediating Role of Implicit Theories of Intelligence. Psychological Studies, 68(3), 447–462. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12646-023-00739-1
‌
Moser, J. S., Dougherty, A., Mattson, W. I., Katz, B., Moran, T. P., Guevarra, D. A., … Kross, E. (2017). Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control: Converging evidence from ERP and fMRI. Scientific Reports, 7(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-017-04047-3
‌
Stiles, W. B., Glick, M. J., Osatuke, K., Hardy, G. E., Shapiro, D. A., Agnew-Davies, R., Rees, A., & Barkham, M. (2004). Patterns of Alliance Development and the Rupture-Repair Hypothesis: Are Productive Relationships U-Shaped or V-Shaped? Journal of Counseling Psychology, 51(1), 81–92. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.51.1.81

Stoeber, J., Madigan, D. J., & Lazaros Gonidis. (2020). Perfectionism is adaptive and maladaptive, but what’s the combined effect? Personality and Individual Differences, 161, 109846–109846. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.109846

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Big News: Website Is Back! After crashing on NYE and being down 6 days, courtneylovegavin.com is up and running! If you've been trying to get in touch about Perfectionism Leveraged 1-1 coaching, now's your chance! Go to courtneylovegavin.com/contact

If you want to hear all about the hard-earned truths in resilience from this digital dumpster fire week and what REALLY happens when your life goes up in flames but you were supposed to be doing all these other things and you're a perfectionist and you throw yourself a pouty party, listen to episode 200 of Perfectionism Rewired. 

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.

Listen in for an eye-opening episode with strategies for perfectionist self-advocacy, navigating the lethal landmines of mental healthcare, partnering with the right perfectionist practitioner for you in the face of medical gaslighting and getting the care you deserve NOW that sees you as a WHOLE person, not a stereotype with symptoms to suppress.

Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) When you join Perfectionism Leveraged you get customized 1-1 coaching + the SKILLS you've never been taught that FREE you from sunk cost fallacy + lethal perfectionism landmines. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/services

Rich Resources Mentioned In This Episode:

• Complete guide + FAQ about using your health insurance for coaching here: https://courtneylovegavin.com/insurance-cover-coaching
• Doctor Ready Template: fill-in-the-blank designed to simplify the process of gaining medical approvals. Download your Letter of Medical Necessity to use with your physician here: https://bit.ly/coaching-prescription
• Navigating Advocacy As A Perfectionist (Ep. 1 Self-Advocacy Series)
• Sunk Cost Fallacy (Ep. 2  Self-Advocacy Series)
• Are You Living In The Victim Triangle? (Perfectionism Rewired ep. 181)

1. Stop Settling For Subpar Support: Raise your standards, refuse to accept quick diagnosis, be criminally curious
2. Seek Holistic Practitioners Who Understand The Depth of Perfectionism Look for a wellness framework foundation, who seek to understand you as a multifaceted individual, who partner with you instead of their own ego
3. Challenge Assumptions: Be very DISCERNING about diagnoses without a CURRENT factual basis. Ask for evidence and don’t continue to stay with a therapist bc you’ve already spent so much time with them
4. Find a Clinician Who Welcomes Candid Conversations:You want .facilitative, empowering, intersectional and  a professional who nurtures a non-hierarchical, inclusive, safe and transparent environment
5. Own Your Capability: Recognize that your inner experience is VALID and advocate for the support and care you deserve. Make proactive moves to be the CEO of YOU and partner with practitioners who align with your values.

00:00-Feeling Dismissed? How To Spot Medical Gaslighting

02:13-Dangers of Deferring to External Authority

02:43-At Risk: People of Color, Women, Non-Binary + Trans

03:41-What does gaslighting mean for perfectionists

04:42- Obstacles of Symptom Suppression for High-Functioning Perfectionists

06:08-Illness vs. Wellness Frameworks + Holistic Approach

09:53-Health professionals pathologize, causing hypervigilance and reactivity.

10:43-Limitations of Medication in Treating Perfectionism

14:22-How to Respond To Gaslighting

14:34-IRL Gaslighting Examples: Life Coach School, Lizard Brain, Polyvagal Theory

15:12-Perfectionist Powerhouse Serena Williams' Experience with Medical Gaslighting

16-13-Practical Steps for Self-Advocacy in Medical Gaslighting

17:49-Choosing the Right Practitioner for YOU

18:24-Partnering with Perfectionist Affirming Practitioners

20:19-Empowering Yourself as CEO of Y.O.U,

HIGHLY CREDIBLE SOURCES ON MEDICAL GASLIGHTING REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:  

1. ‌‌Caron, C. (2022, July 29). Feeling dismissed? How to spot ‘medical gaslighting’ and what to do about it. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/29/well/mind/medical-gaslighting.html
2. Durbhakula, S., & Fortin, A. H., 6th (2023). Turning Down the Flame on Medical Gaslighting. Journal of general internal medicine, 38(15), 3426–3427. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11606-023-08302-4
3. Ellenberg, E. (2023). Understanding the impact of medical gaslighting and diagnostic overshadowing on behavioral health treatment-seeking behaviors in adults with chronic medical conditions: A qualitative rapid review: https://doi.org/10.6084/m9.figshare.24534838.v1
4. Farshad Fani Marvasti, & Stafford, R. S. (2012). From Sick Care to Health Care — Reengineering Prevention into the U.S. System. The New England Journal of Medicine, 367(10), 889–891. https://doi.org/10.1056/nejmp1206230
5. Fraser S. (2021). The toxic power dynamics of gaslighting in medicine. Canadian family physician Medecin de famille canadien, 67(5), 367–368. https://doi.org/10.46747/cfp.6705367
6. Friebe, M. (2022). From SICKCARE to HEALTHCARE to HEALTH. Springer EBooks, 23–32. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-08191-0_3
7. Mirin A. A. (2021). Gender Disparity in the Funding of Diseases by the U.S. National Institutes of Health. Journal of women's health , 30(7), 956–963. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2020.8682
8. Moyer, M. W. (2022, March 28). Women are calling out “medical gaslighting.” The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/28/well/live/gaslighting-doctors-patients-health.html
9. Nebeker, C., Weisberg, B., Hekler, E. B., & Kurisu, M. (2020). Using Self-Study and Peer-to-Peer Support to Change “Sick” Care to “Health” Care: The Patient Perspective. Frontiers in Digital Health, 2. https://doi.org/10.3389/fdgth.2020.00002
10. Onque, R. (2022). How to recognize 'medical gaslighting' and better advocate for yourself at your next doctor's appointment. CNBC. https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/01/medical-gaslighting-warning-signs-and-how-to-advocate-for-yourself.html

Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.