My aunt Rari divorced her husband so completely and so long ago that I don’t even know the man’s name. She tells me that story and about the life she built without him. It makes me contemplate the value of a life spent alone — but also of lifelong companionship.

Most divorces in my family bring some sense of relief. It may take three years to get there, or it may take thirty years, but once it’s over, it feels pretty clear that this is for the best. But it’s not so clear for my Uncle Eric’s relationship.

Most divorces in my family bring some sense of relief. It may take three years to get there, or it may take thirty years, but once it’s over, it feels pretty clear that this is for the best. But it’s not so clear for my Uncle Eric’s relationship.

The idea of a lifetime commitment can feel impossible, when it can still fall apart in year 20, or year 30, or 35. My own parents’ marriage never made it that far, but some of my aunts and uncles did, only to find that after all those years, they too were better off apart.

My grandmother never sent presents for birthdays or holidays, and didn't expect us to either. She seemed to resist anything that felt like authority, convention and tradition; which is why it's so strange that she was once married to my grandfather — a Harvard-educated lawyer.

My parents divorced when I was eight years old — young enough that I don’t have a lot of clear memories of it, but old enough that I was definitely watching, listening, and learning. So I asked them both to tell me what happened, and got two pretty different stories.

When I decided to get married, every living member of my family who had ever been married had also gotten divorced. Apparently, I thought my marriage would end differently.

Listen to Personally: Forever is a Long Time starting June 16, 2025.

Introducing an upcoming season of Personally, called Creation Myth. Helena does not want kids. Her husband does. What else is the purpose of life, he keeps asking her, hoping she’ll change her mind. But after eight years he gives up and leaves. Lost and alone, she’s left with his question. What is our purpose? And what if it is already here?

This series is an Official Selection of the Tribeca Audio Festival. Make sure you follow Personally, so you know when the full season becomes available, later this year. 

This episode of Personally is from an upcoming season, called Creation Myth. Helena does not want kids. Her husband does. For years they’ve battled it out. Then, while her husband is on his way back from a surfing trip, she finds out she’s pregnant. What will she tell him? What should she do? She calls her dear friend Joshua for help: he’s wise, he’s a parent, he knows her well. But she doesn’t have a lot of time. Her husband will be home in an hour.

As Alex’s newfound family grapples with who he really was and what side of the war he was fighting for, COVID sets in. Will Alex ever get a real reunion?