My stepkid had a real thing for ketchup when she was younger, borderline addiction. I’m talking, putting-ketchup-on-lasagna level of ketchup. She also had problems with acid stomach and wasn’t supposed to be eating too much tomato-based things.

Dan sometimes remembered to limit her ketchup intake, but mostly not. The inconsistency drove me crazy, so I took on ketchup rule enforcement myself. Because that’s what a responsible stepparent would do right?

Omg you guys. We had so many fights over ketchup. The ketchup thing caused drama and frustration constantly. And I’d tell myself, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes my stepkid hate me and hate coming to our house. But I couldn’t let go of trying to get her to eat less ketchup.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized, the ketchup was one of the seemingly small, simple things I thought I could control. Meanwhile we had real problems like my stepkid petitioning the court to spend less time with us because her mom was brainwashing her. So when faced with big, scary, overwhelming issues I didn’t have the first idea how to handle it was a whole lot easier to focus on ketchup.

The thing is, ketchup was one of the small, simple things my stepkid could control too. Because she too was faced with big, scary, overwhelming problems she had no idea how to handle. So in hindsight, I wish I would’ve just let her eat herself sick on ketchup if that’s what she needed to feel better about her world.

Sometimes it makes sense to pick your battles and let the small stuff go. xo

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