Podcast Episode Notes
Finding Resilience in the RutHow to Regain Traction When Life Feels Stuck
Host: Mac Dohm Guest: Kyle Shepard
About Our Guest
Kyle Shepard is a U.S. Navy Stress Management and Resilience Instructor with over a decade of experience teaching mental performance, stress adaptation, and recovery under pressure. He also holds a Clinical Doctorate in Audiology, where his work focuses on hearing conservation, balance disorders, tinnitus, and the neurological overlap between stress and physical health.
Kyle is the author of the Resilient Mental State on Substack, where he explores practical resilience through philosophy, fitness, discipline, and grounded self-leadership. His work draws from military training, family life, and lived experience, with a strong emphasis on habits, perspective, and action.
To watch or listen to our previous podcast together, check out 45. How to Build & Maintain a Resilient Identity with Military Resilience and Fitness Instructor - Kyle Shepard.
Episode Overview
This conversation explores the experience of being stuck in life—not in crisis, but not moving forward either. Kyle and I unpack what a rut really is, why it becomes dangerous when left unaddressed, and how resilience is built through perspective, disciplined habits, and meaningful action.
Rather than offering motivational platitudes, this episode focuses on practical frameworks for regaining traction when life feels stalled, disoriented, or quietly off course.
Key Concepts and Takeaways
What a Rut Really Is
Kyle defines a rut as a prolonged, unproductive attitude. Not failure. Not weakness. But a sustained misalignment between how you are living and who you know you are meant to be.
Ruts can last a day, a season, or years if they go unexamined.
Ruts as Feedback, Not Failure
A rut is often a signal rather than a verdict. It points to neglected habits, unresolved stress, disrupted identity, or avoidance patterns that quietly compound over time.
When left unaddressed, ruts increase the likelihood of relapse—whether that relapse shows up as addiction, emotional outbursts, disengagement, or numbing behaviors.
Perspective Matters, But Action Is Required
Reframing your mindset is important, but it only goes so far. As discussed in the episode, you cannot think your way out of a rut.
A quote referenced from James Clear captures this well:
“Don’t ruminate. Activate.”
Reflection without movement turns into stagnation.
The Four Buckets of Health
Kyle frames resilience through four interconnected domains:
* Physical
* Mental
* Social
* Spiritual
When even one of these is neglected long enough, imbalance begins to form.
Ruts often reveal which bucket has been quietly ignored.
Delayed Gratification vs. Delayed Humiliation
The conversation highlights a powerful distinction between two paths.
Delayed gratification involves discomfort now with long-term payoff:
* Training
* Honesty
* Discipline
* Effort
Delayed humiliation offers comfort now with consequences later:
* Avoidance
* Numbing
* Addiction
* Rationalization
Ruts tend to deepen when the second path becomes habitual.
Why Environment Alone Won’t Fix the Problem
Changing locations or circumstances rarely solves internal patterns.
As Kyle puts it, wherever you go, you bring yourself with you.
Lasting change requires altering habits, responses, and standards—not just scenery.
The Non-Negotiables When You’re Stuck
When life feels stalled, the fundamentals matter most. Sleep, nutrition, movement, and connection are not optional. They are stabilizers.
Without them, even the best intentions collapse under stress.
Small Action Beats Big Intention
You do not need a perfect plan to regain traction.
You need movement. One workout. One walk. One honest conversation. One disciplined decision.
Momentum follows action, not the other way around.
Who This Episode Is For
This episode is for anyone who feels functional but unfulfilled, for people navigating recovery or identity shifts, and for those who sense that something is off even if life looks fine from the outside.
Core Message
Resilience is not about powering through life.
It is built through honest self-assessment, aligned habits, repeated small actions, and the courage to face discomfort rather than escape it.
Ruts do not end by accident.
They end through awareness and activation, not avoidance.
If this conversation resonated with you, take a moment to engage.
Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on resilience, recovery, and reclaiming momentum. If you’re listening on Substack, leave a comment and share what stood out or where you feel stuck right now—your voice matters here.
If you know someone who’s quietly in a rut, consider sharing this episode with them. Sometimes the most meaningful help is simply letting someone know they’re not alone and that forward motion is possible.
Your support through listening, commenting, subscribing, and sharing helps this work reach the people who need it most.
Keep fighting the good fight and much love,
Mac
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