PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I welcome back Matthew  and Joanna Raabsmith to dive into their “Three Phases of Couple Recovery” model for healing from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Together, we explore the Recovery, Restoration, and Renewal phases—discussing how couples can move from crisis and individual healing to rebuilding trust, intimacy, and shared purpose. 

Joanna and Matthew share practical tips, emphasize the importance of trauma-informed support, and encourage patience with the non-linear journey of recovery. Whether you’re just starting in recovery or seeking restoration and renewal for your relationship, their insights offer hope and guidance for every step of the process.

To learn more about Matthew and Joanna and their marriage resources, visit RaabsmithTeam.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The three phases of couple recovery: Recovery, Restoration, and Renewal.
• The Recovery phase focuses on individual healing and establishing safety after betrayal or addiction.
• The importance of trauma-informed support during the Recovery phase.
• The emotional intensity and relational work involved in the Restoration phase.
• The concept of "couple grieving" as a unified process for both partners.
• The role of forgiveness in the Restoration phase and its timing.
• The ongoing nature of the Restoration phase and the potential for revisiting earlier work.
• The Renewal phase as an opportunity to build a new relationship and shared purpose.
• The significance of designing rituals of connection and exploring shared dreams in the Renewal phase.
• The non-linear nature of recovery, emphasizing patience and awareness throughout the process.

Read Blog Post: The Three Phases of Couples Recovery - and What Kind of Help You Need in Each

More Resources:

• Renewing Us Couples Retreat (Nov 14-16)
• Couples and Individual Coaching
• Couples Group Program

Related Podcasts:

• Rebuilding a Healthy Marriage After Betrayal
• The Role of Boundaries in Marriage Restoration
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal

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PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Juli Slattery to talk about sexual discipleship in parenting. Juli shares insights from her new book, "Surrendered Sexuality," and explains how sexual discipleship is an ongoing, grace-filled journey—much deeper than traditional sex education. 

We discuss the unique role parents play in shaping their kids’ understanding of sexuality, the importance of modeling both truth and grace, and how surrender, not perfection, is the goal. Juli encourages parents to embrace their own growth and trust God’s grace in the process. It’s a hopeful, practical conversation for every parent.

To learn more about Juli and get her resources, visit AuthenticIntimacy.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Definition and distinction between sexual discipleship and sex education.
• The role of parents as primary influencers in their children's understanding of sexuality.
• Importance of integrating biblical truth and grace in parenting.
• Goals of parenting from a biblical perspective, including passing on a godly heritage.
• The significance of daily life moments in teaching children about sexuality.
• The impact of cultural views on sexuality and the need for a biblical worldview.
• The concept of surrender in the context of sexual discipleship and parenting.
• The necessity for parents to engage in their own sexual discipleship journey.
• The importance of transparency and humility in parenting.
• Resources available for parents to support their journey in sexual discipleship.

More Resources:

• Surrendered Sexuality* by Dr. Juli Slattery
• Rethinking Sexuality* by Dr. Juli Slattery
• Critical Conversations (FREE online course)

Related Podcasts:

• What is Sexual Discipleship?
• The Sex Talk You Never Got
• Parenting in a Hypersexualized and Identity-Confused Culture

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Stephen Cervantes to talk about the lifelong journey of emotional growth, especially for men. We introduce a practical tool—the phrase, “The God in me is bigger than the fear in you”—to help you stay centered and respond thoughtfully when facing criticism or negativity. 

We explore how compassion and faith can transform tough interactions, and encourage you to make this simple tool a habit for deeper emotional growth. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. We’re here to support you as we all grow stronger and more resilient, together.

For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Emotional growth as a lifelong journey, particularly for men.
• The significance of practical tools for handling criticism and negativity.
• Introduction of the phrase: "The God in me is bigger than the fear in you" as an emotional growth tool.
• The importance of centering oneself and regulating emotions in challenging situations.
• Recognizing fear as a root cause of negative behavior in others.
• Encouraging compassion over combativeness when faced with attacks.
• Application of the emotional growth tool in various scenarios of criticism and insults.
• The effectiveness of the phrase as an internal statement rather than a verbal response.
• The role of faith in managing difficult interactions and emotional responses.
• Building a habit of emotional regulation through repetition of the phrase.

More Resources:

• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality* by Peter Scazzero
• Seven Desires* by Mark & Debra Laaser
• Find a Counselor

Related Podcasts:

• 50 Things to Do When Your Fear Gets Triggered
• How to Learn (and Respond to) Your Fear System
• Unoffendable: How Your Response to Criticism Affects Your Emotional Maturity

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I sit down with Garrett Kell, pastor and author of Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God. Garrett opens up about his journey from struggling with sexual sin—even as a pastor—to finding freedom through confession, restoration, and God’s grace. 

We discuss the biblical meaning of purity, the importance of honesty and community, and practical ways to pursue God’s pleasures over fleeting temptations. Garrett’s story is honest and hope-filled, reminding us that real change is possible when we rely on Christ and walk in the light together.

You can get a copy of Garrett’s book, in English, Spanish, or Thai, at Crossway.org or Amazon.com*.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Personal journey of faith and struggles with sexual sin, including pornography.
• The process of confession, restoration, and ministry in pastoral leadership.
• Importance of honesty and transparency in overcoming sexual sin.
• Biblical foundation of purity and its definition as a heart orientation.
• Distinction between abstaining from sin and actively pursuing God.
• Practical examples for pursuing God's pleasures in daily life.
• The role of accountability and faith in God's promises.
• Understanding God's design for sex and its significance in marriage.
• Identifying and combating the enemies of purity: the flesh, the world, and the devil.
• The connection between identity in Christ and living a life of purity.

More Resources:

• Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God* by Garrett Kell
• Help for Men
• Help for Women

Related Podcasts:

• Reframing How the Church Views Sexual Purity
• From Porn Pastor to Pure Desire
• The Heart Cry of an Old Saint: I Want to Be Clean!

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I sit down with Emmanuel and Samridh, two amazing ministry leaders from India, to talk about their personal journeys of overcoming pornography addiction and how they now help pastors and young church leaders find freedom. 

We discuss the unique cultural challenges of shame and secrecy around sexuality in India, and how their Celebrate Freedom seminar, which is based on our Gateway to Freedom intensive for men, is breaking new ground by creating safe, supportive spaces for honest conversation and healing. Emmanuel and Samridh share practical insights, stories of hope, and invite anyone struggling to reach out for support and community.

To connect with Emmanuel and Samridh, visit their YouTube channel @unaddressed.podcast or Instagram @unaddressed.crew.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Personal stories of struggle with pornography addiction among ministry leaders.
• The cultural challenges of discussing sexuality and pornography in India, including shame and honor dynamics.
• The lack of practical counseling and support for pastors dealing with sexual sin.
• The importance of creating safe spaces for open discussions about struggles with pornography.
• The adaptation of recovery programs to fit the Indian cultural context, including the use of personal stories and relevant examples.
• The role of community and accountability in the recovery process.
• The impact of societal expectations on pastors' willingness to admit struggles.
• The need for ongoing support and follow-up after initial recovery programs.
• The significance of addressing both male and female perspectives in discussions about pornography and sexual exploitation.
• The message of hope and encouragement for those struggling with addiction, emphasizing connection and transparency.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom 3-day intensive for men
• 40 Days of Purity for Men online course
• 40 Days of Purity for Women online course

Related Podcasts:

• Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom Use
• Navigating the 3 Stages of Recovery from Porn Addiction
• Can the Church Be a Safe Place for Healing and Transformation?

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

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PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I welcome back Vern Tompke to discuss the evolving challenges men face in recovering from pornography addiction. We dive into this concept of “edging”—using social media  or other kinds of media for arousal without fully acting out—and how today’s digital landscape complicates recovery. 

Vern shares his personal journey, practical strategies, and the importance of daily connection and removing triggers. Together, we explore the biological, emotional, and spiritual sides of addiction, emphasizing that true recovery isn’t just about avoidance, but about pursuing a richer, more connected life.

To learn more about Vern and the resources he has, visit BandofBrothers.care.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• The concept of "edging" in relation to pornography addiction and recovery.
• Vern Tompke's personal journey with pornography addiction and his transition into helping others.
• The impact of social media platforms on recovery and the new challenges they present.
• The biological, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of addiction and recovery.
• The importance of daily connection and accountability in the recovery process.
• The distinction between "red," "yellow," and "green" behaviors in the context of recovery.
• The role of dopamine and intermittent reinforcement in addiction and recovery.
• The necessity of replacing unhealthy behaviors with positive activities.
• The misconception that recovery is solely about avoiding pornography.
• The long-term journey of recovery and the importance of pursuing a fulfilling life beyond addiction.

More Resources:

• Finding Traction Course
• Finding Traction Podcast
• Integrity Webinar for Men

Related Podcasts:

• Navigating the Three Stages of Recovery from Porn Addiction
• The Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle
• A 3-Year Roadmap of Recovery and Emotional Growth

----------

Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

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PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I welcome back Tammy Gustafson, a licensed counselor and betrayal trauma coach, to explore two really tough situations wives face after sexual betrayal: the “roommate scenario,” where the husband isn’t working on recovery, and “incomplete recovery,” where progress is inconsistent. 

Tammy shares heartfelt advice on setting boundaries, focusing on self-care, and shifting attention from the husband’s actions to the wife’s own healing. We discuss the importance of deep character change, not just behavior, and offer practical steps for finding support and reclaiming joy. 

If you can resonate with either (or both) of these scenarios, we want you to know that healing and thriving are possible, even in the midst of these challenging recovery circumstances.

To learn more about Tammy and her resources, visit BetrayalHealing.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Discussion of the "roommate scenario" where a wife remains in a marriage despite her husband's lack of commitment to recovery.
• Emotional challenges faced by wives in limbo due to financial dependence, children, or personal beliefs against divorce.
• Importance of establishing healthy boundaries and focusing on self-care for emotional well-being.
• The concept of "incomplete recovery," where the husband shows some effort but remains inconsistent, causing confusion and pain for the wife.
• The emotional toll of navigating uncertainty and mixed signals in the recovery process.
• Distinction between sobriety and deeper character transformation necessary for true healing.
• Encouragement for wives to set high expectations for their husband's recovery, looking for genuine changes in behavior and character.
• The role of curiosity and new language from husbands as indicators of real progress in recovery.
• Practical advice for wives on maintaining clarity, protecting their hearts, and seeking support from safe individuals.
• Resources and support available for women dealing with betrayal and navigating their healing journey.

More Resources:

• Betrayal Healing Coaching with Tammy
• Wives Care Groups for Betrayal Trauma Healing
• Basics Webinar for Wives

Related Podcasts:

• The Need for Safety in Betrayal Trauma Healing
• Identifying and Meeting Needs in a Betrayed Wife
• The Recovery Process for Couples

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PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In today’s episode, we welcome back Karla Downing for an insightful conversation about healing relationships. Together, we dive into practical ways couples can improve communication, rebuild intimacy, and navigate challenges like addiction and dysfunctional patterns. 

Karla shares wisdom on speaking the truth in love, managing emotions, and fostering empathy and curiosity. We discuss the importance of patience, seeking outside support, and grounding our efforts in grace and compassion. Whether you’re facing tough seasons or just want to grow closer, this episode offers hope, encouragement, and actionable steps for building a healthier, more connected relationship.

To learn more about Karla and her resources, visit ChangeMyRelationship.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Practical advice for couples facing relational struggles
• Importance of communication in building intimacy
• Managing emotions and maintaining patience during healing
• Speaking the truth in love and expressing personal truths
• Challenges such as defensiveness and reactivity in communication
• Role of mutual curiosity and understanding between partners
• Emotional maturity and its impact on relationship dynamics
• Strategies for effective communication and conflict resolution
• The significance of seeking outside help and support
• The process of healing and restoration in relationships affected by addiction and dysfunction

More Resources:

• Nine Keys to Successful Marital Conflict Resolution
• When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships
• Speaking the Truth in Love

Related Podcasts:

• Eight Practical Steps of Forgiveness
• Intimacy in Marriage: Why Being Fully Known and Loved Matters
• Working Through Emotional Disconnection in Marriage

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Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, Dr. Steven Cervantes and I explore the lifelong mission of personal growth, blending both spiritual and emotional development. We discuss how a vibrant relationship with God brings peace, rest, and joy, and why emotional health is just as vital as spiritual growth. 

Together, we unpack the impact of childhood wounds, the roles we play to cope, and the importance of self-care. Our conversation is honest and encouraging, inviting you to embrace growth as a lifelong journey marked by grace, healing, and authentic connection with God and others.

For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Exploration of the concept of "mission" in personal growth, integrating spiritual and emotional development.
• Importance of a relational connection with God over rigid religious structures.
• Challenges of maintaining spiritual and emotional health and their interconnectedness.
• The impact of loneliness in modern society and the role of faith communities in fostering connection.
• Definition of a spiritual mission rooted in faith, teachings of Jesus, and community participation.
• Recognition of emotional struggles that can undermine spiritual commitments.
• The idea of a "growth mission" as a continuous journey rather than a fixed goal.
• Discussion of emotional wounds from childhood and their impact on present life.
• Examination of coping mechanisms and roles that may hinder genuine emotional growth.
• Emphasis on the importance of self-love and care as foundational to loving others and spiritual growth.

More Resources:

• 49 Days of Growth: Growing in Emotional Skills* by Dr. Stephen Cervantes
• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive Workshop
• Grace-Based Recovery Online Study Groups

Related Podcasts:

• What Can Stunt Your Emotional Growth Mission?
• Why Must I Learn Me?
• Men's Emotional Self-Awareness Test

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

----------

Please rate and review our podcast: Apple Podcasts

Follow us on our Vimeo Channel.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!

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In this episode, I sit down with Tabitha Westbrook, a licensed therapist and author, to talk about her book Body and Soul, Healed and Whole. Tabitha shares her personal journey as a survivor and her passion for helping others heal from trauma, abuse, and coercive control. 

We explore the impact of purity culture, misconceptions about abuse, and the importance of safety and healthy boundaries. Tabitha offers practical wisdom for individuals and churches, encouraging honest conversations and compassionate support for survivors seeking healing and wholeness.

To learn more about Tabitha, her counseling resources, and book, visit TabithaWestbrook.com.

Topics Covered in this Episode:

• Exploration of healthy sexuality after trauma and abuse
• Personal experiences of survivors and their healing journeys
• Discussion of complex trauma, domestic abuse, and coercive control
• Impact of purity culture on men and women within the church
• Nuances of female sexual brokenness and addiction
• Definition and implications of coercive control in relationships
• Misconceptions about abuse and the ineffectiveness of common responses
• Importance of prioritizing victim safety over preserving marriages
• Need for church education and accountability programs for abusers
• Emphasis on holistic healing that integrates body and soul in recovery processes

More Resources:

• Body & Soul, Healed & Whole* by Tabitha Westbrook
• Wives Care Online Groups
• Strong Like Water* by Aundi Kolber

Related Podcasts:

• Help and Hope for Women to Heal from Sexual Abuse
• The Need for Safety in Betrayal Trauma Healing
• The Need for Boundaries After Betrayal

*This is an affiliate link. Be Broken may earn referral fees on purchases through this link.

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