As we get ready for Christmas - I thought I'd fill our stockings with some random recovery ideas.  Yes they are random - but in them hopefully you can find something to avoid being nice (not naughty) this holiday season!


We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern.  If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at [email protected]


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

Last weeks' episode felt unfinished to me.  I thought it would be great to have to have my fellow coach Matt Dobscheutz come on and add his thoughts to the topic of why some guys fail to achieve the recovery success they say they desire. 


We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern.  If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at [email protected]


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

I have coached guys in porn recovery groups for many years.  Over the years I have seen various guys try various things that have proven to be unhelpful in overcoming porn.  In today's episode I explore 6 ways that I think that guys (even guys in groups) set themselves up to be unsuccessful in recovery.


We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern.  If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at [email protected]


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

When I meet new guys I like to ask them this question "How did porn get embedded in your life?"  Over and over again I hear some version of the same story.  Today I want to talk about the process about how porn became a problem for you because it provides clues for how we can begin to journey out of it.

We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course.  Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern.  If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at [email protected]


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

Vern has been down in Brazil working with couples around marriage and men in the area of recovery.  Take a listen to some of his thoughts and screwups direct from the land down under (the other land down under)

We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at [email protected].  We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions and discuss your recovery needs further.


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

November 5th is a big day - its Guy Fawkes Day, Vern's Birthday and yes - the American election.  How deal with the big feelings that will follow the election can make us truly vulnerable to relapse.  Vern walks through how we navigate these strong emotions.


We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at [email protected].  We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions and discuss your recovery needs further.


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

There are two types of pathways we can walk in recovery - Plan A is the one we prefer and we have all tried it - unsuccessfully.  This episode is about Plan B - and why we end up having to follow this route.

We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at [email protected].  We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions and discuss your recovery needs further.


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

A big step of recovery is when you turn around and help guys who are not as far along the journey as you are.  Mac is one of the guys I coach and he has created a great podcast that he shares with younger guys - it's called porn free millenial and you can access it here. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/porn-free-millennial-podcast/id1688517945

On the episode Mac and I discuss how you can combat temptation by asking 3 questions:
Then What?, So What? and  Now What?

We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at [email protected].  We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

What is the Primal Need which drives your behaviors, informs your fears and causes you to reach for your medicine jar? (porn)  In this episode Vern asks the question "If porn is our favorite solution, then what is the primal question  we are seeking to answer or problem we  are seeking to solve?

If you are interested in reading the book, 7 Primal Questions, the author has the first three chapters available on his website: https://www.mikefoster.tv/downloads


You can do a quick online survey to get a quick idea as to what your primal need is by going to the following link.

https://primalquestion.typeform.com/to/DmcABGY6?typeform-source=www.primalquestion.com

We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at [email protected].  We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2

We all know the things that we want to leave behind - do we have a clear sense of what we want to see grow in our life?  In this episode Vern shares the result of a brainstorming session he did with a group of guys around the things they wanted to move toward.  Funny thing - they all start with "C".

We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life.  We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at [email protected].  We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.


If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2