Welcome to Indulgence Gospel After Dark!

This month we’re unpacking content from Rosey Beeme, Brianne Huntsman, and other influencers who long identified as body positive, plus size fashion folks—and now are talking proudly about their intentional weight loss journeys. But it’s not a moral failing if you can’t wipe your own ass.

CW: This episode includes some unavoidable discussion of intentional weight loss and links to posts that promote it. Take care of yourselves!

To listen to the full episode and read the full transcript, you’ll need to join Extra Butter, our premium subscription tier.

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In these monthly episodes we get into the GOOD stuff like:

Why all the fat influencers are getting skinny

Is Kids Eat In Color anti-diet?

And did Virginia really get divorced over butter?

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Extra Butter Episode 6 Transcript

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Corinne

Are you ready? We’re tackling a big one today.

Virginia

That we have been ambivalent about tackling, I want to say. Especially you? You have been ambivalent.

Corinne

I have been ambivalent. It’s a tough topic, but a lot of you have asked us to talk about this.

So we’re going to talk about plus size influencers, Ozempic, and intentional weight loss.

Virginia

The Rosey Beeme of it all.

Corinne

Yes. Part of the reason we’re talking about this now is because there was a big Instagram kerfuffle where the longtime plus size influencer Rosey Beeme, who has recently been pursuing intentional weight loss through the use of semaglutide, posted a very shitty Instagram story. She said, “Full transparency: I have zero remorse or shame for being public about my weight loss. Two years ago, I couldn’t wipe my own ass. That’s the tea!” 

Virginia

Yup. She did say that. On Al Gore’s Internet.

Corinne

That is a very fucked up and ableist thing to say. And, rightfully so, a lot of folks felt hurt and offended by that. 

And, so, yeah. We’re here to talk about that.

Virginia

I think this has really highlighted how much there is a difference between someone talking about their own experience in a personal way, and doing it on a platform. Because, a very common thing people will say to me is, “I support fat rights. I’m against diet culture. But I just know I would feel better, I just know my knees would hurt less. I want to be able to wipe my own ass.”

And these health or life or logistical things get named as a valid reason for wanting to be thinner. And it’s both. Because there’s a kernel of truth here, right? Life is easier if you have the mobility to wipe your own ass, and that’s a hurdle you don’t have to deal with. And: People’s lives are just as valuable and meaningful if that is not the case. 

I mean, my God. I’ve thrown my back out so many times and not been able to do this! I don’t love throwing out my back. But I don’t feel like I need to like pursue some intensive life altering thing in order to not. It just feels very… I’m getting ramble-y because I’m upset about this. 

Corinne

It’s upsetting. Something that we learn from disability activism is that we’re all only temporarily able-bodied. God willing, if you live a long life, there’s probably going to be a point in your life where you can’t wipe your own ass.

Virginia

We’re all going to end up there, if we’re lucky. 

Corinne

It just sucks to be making people feel bad about the different ways that they exist in their bodies.

Virginia

I think what’s tricky about the ableism conversation is you are allowed, as a person with a disability or a limitation like that, to be frustrated by it and to want something about your body to be different. We’re allowed to want that. But she basically said it as if no one could argue with that. Like, “Well, obviously, I had to lose weight because that was true about me.” That invalidates so many other people’s experiences. 

I think there is a real gray area and that she was not in the gray area. She was fully in the anti-fat, anti-disability area. But I can understand the kernel of the gray area that made her think it was okay to say that. But she had such a responsibility to do something different with her platform.

Corinne

I think for a lot of people, it’s also hard to stomach this coming from someone who has historically made money from fat people. Via brand deals, and affiliate links for her fat fashion recs.

Virginia

Fat community paid her bills for a long time. 

Corinne

To turn on a dime from that to rejecting that and making ableist comments just feels hard. 

Virginia

I’m looking at this next post from her, and it’s interesting because she’s talking about being on a health and fitness glow up because of having been on Mounjaro. This is a video of her on a walking pad and talking about taking weight loss drugs. And she says, “I’ve loved visiting the theater without being concerned for the size of seats. I’m flying solo this January for the first time in a long time. And I’m not concerned.”

But these are not personal failings, these are structural issues. Because that’s great, Rosey! You can fit in an airplane seat. The airplane seats haven’t changed. A lot of people still can’t fit in them. Your ability to—for now anyway—achieve the smaller body solves all of these issues, but it doesn’t fucking solve it for anybody else. 

Corinne

Right? This is body liberation. You can do whatever you want with your body. You can decide to pursue intentional weight loss and talk about it publicly. And, making the experience of other fat folks harder sucks. 

Virginia

She only solved her own problem. This is not a step forward for anybody else. She just decided to solve her own problem—again, probably temporarily—while throwing everyone else under the bus. And to conflate fitting into a seat with health. That’s not a health and fitness glow up. That is you are now the size that our society deems more acceptable so the world is built for you. That’s just privilege. 

So she’s conflating health and privilege in this really annoying way. And then she talks about now she wants to work on her cardiovascular health and achieving her dream aesthetic. Again, only one of those things has anything to do with health. This is not a health glow up, this is a thin privilege glow up. 

Corinne

I will say one thing I do kind of appreciate about Rosey is that she’s been so open about the fact that she’s using drugs to achieve this. Because I think there are a lot of other influencers out there who are going on similar journeys and not discussing how they’re getting there and or just saying they’re “pursuing health” or are on “a fitness journey.”

Alex, the founder of Shiny By Nature, has also been on a health and fitness journey that has included a lot of weight loss, but no mention of drugs. And there’s also The Huntswoman who recently started a new Instagram account, which involves literally changing her name, to pursue “a health journey,” whatever that might look like.

Virginia

She’s not The Huntswoman anymore?

Corinne

Her old account is called The Huntswoman and her name is Brianne and then she started this new account called Becoming Gwen. So she’s literally like, I’m becoming this other person and pursuing a glow up and pursuing health, including weight loss.

Virginia

Okay. Also, the writer in me just has to be annoyed for a second, because the tagline on her new account is “don’t call it a glow up, it’s a rendezvous.” And that… can’t be the word she meant? That doesn’t make any sense. A rendezvous is when you serendipitously meet up with someone. Like, “we’re having a rendezvous at Starbucks.” It can be like a secretive meeting, like lovers. 

Corinne

Yeah, so what does that mean here? It doesn’t make sense.

Virginia

That’s not the word she meant. I don’t know what word she meant. But that’s not it. We’re not suddenly having a clandestine meeting with her about her new body? I don’t know. Not the point, but that’s irritating.

Corinne

Yes, she says she’s going to be discussing health more candidly over on the new account with some discussion of intentional weight loss. 

Virginia

Well, again, I am glad she is putting it in a different place. That at least, is very clear for your followers. I know I don’t need to follow her Becoming Gwen. I’m not going to go to that rendezvous, Gwen. Because I don’t need to rendezvous with Gwen about her weight loss. That won’t be helpful for me.

And same with Rosey! I do think if you are someone, especially fashion influencers, you’re going to have a lot of younger followers, people who are at very vulnerable ages for disordered eating and eating disorders and glamorizing weight loss is never helpful for that. It doesn’t serve anyone except you.

Corinne

It really sucks to have it framed as a health journey. Everyone being like, “I’m on a health and fitness journey and suddenly I like eating apples.” 

Virginia

They don’t want to call it a diet, so it’s called a health and fitness journey. That’s pretty exasperating. 

We talked awhile back about some other fat fashion influencers—I can’t remember when this was, maybe around the time of the midsize queen conversation? And we talked about how there’s a problem with assuming that someone who has become public for being fat is automatically a fat activist. And I guess these people are showing us that. 

Do you think there’s anything to the idea that us scrutinizing these fat folks talking about it this way—is that useful? Or are we not holding thin folks to the same standard? Do you know what I mean? Like, are we being harder on fat folks? 

Corinne

That’s a great question. I think for me, it’s this thing where you built an audience around being fat. You’re making money off of fatness and now you’re making money off of weight loss. That kind of feels bad. Even though yes, people can do whatever they want with their bodies. I haven’t seen or noticed a bunch of thin or straight size influencers talking about these these drugs or going on, quote unquote, health and fitness journeys, but I’m maybe just not as plugged into that. 

Virginia

I feel like they are all always on a health and fitness journey.

Corinne

Yeah, I don’t know.

Virginia

Well, and in terms of the way the media initially covered Ozempic and Mounjaro and all our weight loss drug friends—it was really focused on skinny celebs, the Kardashians, Mindy Kaling. So I think there was a lot of attention paid to thin people using these drugs to get even thinner and some backlash against that. “No, no, save them for the fatties who really need them,” was kind of the message, which was problematic.

Corinne

I follow a couple other influencer people who have also recently lost a ton of weight and said nothing about it, which I also have complicated feelings about. That also doesn’t necessarily feel great, but it’s none of my business.1

Virginia

But are they not saying anything about it? Or are they pretending they lost weight a way they didn’t? I think is my question.

Corinne

Not addressing it. Saying nothing about it.

Virginia

I think I feel more okay with that. This is something I think about a lot. Nobody owes the world their body—even influencers. I think about some of the questions I get about my personal life because I wrote about my divorce. People think they should get to know a lot of details about my marriage. You’re still allowed to have boundaries and I would rather someone not address their weight loss at all and continue to stand up and be vocal for fat people. Their body is not the point of that. 

Corinne

The people I’m thinking of, I don’t think are people that would have identified as fat activists or even plus size influencers, but existed in the world in bigger bodies. So I think it just makes me question: Are you still advocating for other people in bigger bodies? Or are you just done with that? 

Virginia

I think your point about the monetization is really important. Rosey, The Huntswoman—all these people used body positive rhetoric. They used fat, they use the language of the movement, even if they weren’t truly identifying as activists. Like Rosey is sort of like, “I was never anti-diet” now. She is being very like, “this word was never for me.” And that’s fine. But you used the language. You used the hashtags in order to grow your following in order to post your affiliate links, get your sponsor deals, all of that. So you did profit off that rhetoric. So now what you’re basically telling us is you coopted all that rhetoric and you don’t believe it at all and that is pretty gross.

Sarah Sapora is someone who has been in this lane for a very long time. She identifies as plus size and body positive, but she has always been pro-intentional weight loss. She argues that this can be part of being body positive. It’s a way of “prioritizing yourself.”

Again, body liberation. Her body is her choice. This is a message that may resonate and maybe be helpful to some folks. I don’t know. But from where I’m sitting, it feels like someone who is just still stuck. She’ll talk about not wanting to do it in a disordered way and like not wanting to crash diet and “been there, done that” and all of that. But that just feels like diet culture rhetoric. Every diet says, “We’re not a crash diet.” Every diet is like “the numbers don’t really matter, it matters how you feel.” What are you doing that is any different from any other intentional weight loss? I don’t see it because it’s still, at the end of the day, celebrating pictures of herself looking smaller. She’s still celebrating the aesthetic. And anytime you’re celebrating the aesthetic, you’re in reinforcing anti-fat bias. 

Corinne

She did do a good post, where she says, “so your favorite fat creator doesn’t want to be fat anymore. Here are six mindset tips to process their journey in a self loving way for you.” And I do think her tips around it are pretty good. Just like, it has nothing to do with you. If it feels bad, unfollow. 

Virginia

Yes.I appreciate that she’s saying, what I care about is all people make the decision that’s most self loving for them, which is body liberation language. I can get on board with that. 

Corinne

It’s a tough topic. It feels kind of heavy, feels a little heavy. 

Virginia

Well, and the reason we’re having this on Extra Butter and not on the main stage is because anytime people start to dissect these creators or really any creators, there’s the immediate pushback of well, you’re just gossiping. You’re being vindictive. But we’re really trying to think about the impact of this messaging and the ripple effects on the larger cultural conversation. I think particularly within the fat community, this is an important conversation to have, because it is a lesson for all of us to just be a little more careful about who we follow and what authority we imbue them with, I think is my takeaway. 

Corinne

Something I also am curious about that I just, like haven’t really researched, but are people who take these drugs just to manage conditions like diabetes or PCOS—are any of them doing any influencing?

Virginia

That’s true.

Corinne

Is any influencer like, “yeah, I have diabetes and I started taking this”? Or is everyone just like, I’m on a, quote unquote, fitness journey taking this drug. I don’t know. It just feels unfair.

Virginia

I would like to see that story. It’s only further reinforcing the fact that people forget—I mean, you had to remind me of this in editing the other day—that Ozempic isn’t even approved for weight loss. It’s a diabetes medication. It’s getting used off label for that.

Corinne

I think that’s part of what sucks so much! It’s a drug for a disease that’s already very stigmatized, especially for fat folks. People are monetizing being able to take this drug and lose weight and have before and after photos and sell walking pads and people who need to take this drug to manage chronic conditions just can’t benefit in any way. 

Virginia

All of that.

On a related note, I do have questions about a walking pad and whether I would like having one? but not for weight loss to be clear! This is just the second time today I’ve seen someone on a walking pad on Instagram and I have thoughts.

Corinne

Walking pads are huge on TikTok. I have seen one walking pad in real life owned by a fat person that I know. I saw it stashed at their house and was like, oooh, is that a walking pad? Like, how is that? And she was like, “It actually is really kind of hard to walk on because of how narrow it is.” Like, you have to pay attention. Because they’re designed to be small and I know a lot of them also have lower weight limits. I feel like if you’re going to use it while you’re watching TV or something, they actually maybe aren’t that practical because they don’t have the sides that you can hold onto, you know?

Virginia

Which seems like it could be a problem. To be honest, I want one because I wonder if my kids would like it? Again, not for any weight loss situation. I have one kid who’s a big pacer and needs to pace to get her energy out and her anxiety and all of that and sometimes her pacing is in laps around my couch. And that’s not great when I’m sitting on my couch. So what if I could just put her in the corner on a walking pad?

Corinne

That’s actually a really interesting idea because now that you’re saying that, I pace a lot when I’m on the phone, like if I’m talking to a friend I just kind of walk in circles, but I don’t like to do it outside because it’s too noisy and distracting. Maybe a walking pad would be good for that?

Virginia

I don’t know. I don’t think I’m gonna do it because I just feel like the potential is there for it to go diet-y so fast. Lauren Leavell just got one. That was the other person I saw on it and I was DMing with her about it. She’s also a big pacer. And she was like, “I do really like it as a tool for my pacing.” For the stress pacers. I’m not a stress pacer.

Corinne

I’m really interested in one of those mini trampolines. 

Virginia

Oh, I’m also interested in that for the same reason. For the children. And maybe I would try it? I think I would like it, because my knees are a whole situation. A trampoline is a low impact way to get some cardio in. That could be kind of fun. 

Corinne

Yeah, it looks like it would be fun, but I feel like my ceilings might not be high enough.

Virginia

Well, and again, the weight limit question! A lot of the mini ones are marketed for kids and the weight limit is like 100 pounds.

Corinne

I mean, you’ll love to know that there are some really expensive ones made in Germany that you can specify the weight.

Virginia

I love to know this.

Corinne

I haven’t bought one because they’re like $800 or something. I can’t even remember, is it $400 or $800? Both of those are so out of reach to me.

Virginia

Absurd. Walking pads are only like $180 and I was like, this feels like a little ridiculous.

Butter

Virginia

Well, our Butter is not walking pads or mini trampolines, yet.

Corinne

Yet! Stay tuned.

Virginia

But Corinne, do you have a Butter for us?

Corinne

I do have a Butter. MyButter is kind of a two parter. Part one is that it’s been really cold in New Mexico, which no one wants to believe, but. And during this little cold spell, I have finally pulled out my cashmere woolies. So I’ve been wearing a lot of cashmere. I specifically have a pair of joggers and a sweater from Naadam, the cashmere company. They go up to 3x, but it’s a pretty generous 3x.

But when I pulled them out to start wearing them, I realized that the sweater had a little hole in it and I was really sad about it. I was kind of like researching how this could be fixed and I came across something called needle felting. Do you know what that is? 

Virginia

I do, I have an aunt and a cousin who were very into needle felting back in the day.

Corinne

I was drawn to it because it seemed really easy. So basically, you get wool roving and you kind of stuff it in the hole. And then you use this big needle to just stab it until it covers the hole. So I did that and it worked pretty well. You can see it’s a slightly different texture than the rest of the sweater, but it took two minutes and I now am just like, it’s like good enough that I can just wear it. Or I could wear it backwards and it would be on my back and it wouldn’t bother me at all. So I want to recommend cashmere and needle felting

Virginia

I need to do this because some of my Vince Camuto sweaters that I have recommended here all winter and it’s all I wear—two of them have tiny little holes, and I’ve been really upset and feeling like I needed to disclose this.

Corinne

I feel like you should try to get one of your kids into it. There are people that do cute patches, like a little like mushroom shaped patch over the hole. It could be really cute. Like a little heart. I wasnot that ambitious. 

Virginia

Okay, a little heart sounds so sweet. This sounds like a fun new hobby for all of us for February. 

Corinne

What’s your Butter?

Virginia

My Butter is that I am in my robot vacuum era. I bought a robot vacuum in a Black Friday sale. This is something I did because with an adult moving out of the house, there is more labor to keep up my house. So I have been spending money on things that make that easier. It turns out you can replace a husband with a robot vacuum? 

Corinne

Dang! Put a ring on it.

Virginia

It’s really satisfying and it’s really helping. I am someone who has a lot of allergies and I kind of accept that waking up congested is my lot in life. Every morning I wake up with a stuffy nose. And since I started robot vacuuming my whole bedroom every day, it is happening much less. It’s a little confused because then I got cold, obviously that threw out my data collection, but now that my cold is gone it’s been like a week. I’m not waking up congested. What’s happening?

Corinne

My question is how does your dog feel about it?

Virginia

She has a lot of feelings. She definitely is easily startled. I actually own two, I have one that I do around the house and then I have one that just lives in my bedroom and is on a timer to do that room every day because I’m trying to deal with my allergies. I set it for 8am and most days we’re out of that room well before 8am. But on a solo weekend recently, I slept in and Penelope sleeps in my bed with me, so we were woken up by the robot vacuum. And she was like, what is happening?

Corinne

That’s pretty funny, 

Virginia

But she kind of makes peace with it. Once she’s like, okay, it’s that thing again. But at first she’s always like, who is that?

Corinne

I think my dog would try to play with it/attack it. 

Virginia

It’s kind of entertaining. But yeah, if you are someone who’s dealing with allergies or also just vacuuming is like a very physical chore and it is hard on our bodies and not having to do it is great. Big fan of the robot vacuum.