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Pronouns: why we should not play along
For an essay I wrote on this topic see: https://criticaltherapyantidote.org/2022/03/19/preferred-pronouns-neo-etiquette-or-radical-self-rejection/
Pronouns
NO - give your own
Maybe - respect others (support a lie)
1st person - I, me, us, we
2nd person - you, y'all, yours
3rd person - he, she, them, it
3rd person pronouns are how people talk about one person to others.
Reputation building. Not lie TO them, but ABOUT them and FOR them. When
we all give our pronouns the lie is softened because we enter a game in
which we all pretend we forgot the actual meaning of these labels,
therefore those who want to switch pronouns don’t stand out.
Harmless neo-etiquette? NO
1. Undermines self confidence and resilience by asserting that one’s
self concept is dependent on external validation. Anti-
resilience/pro-fragility. Upholds illusion that “misgendering” or
otherwise failing to confirm someone’s illusions is abusive and violent.
That the feeling of not having one’s inner self-concept affirmed should
hurt so badly is truly unfortunate - ask deeper questions. If some
individuals are unhappy enough with their secondary sexual
characteristics that they engage in a radical form of self-rejection
through a spectrum of cosmetic and medical interventions, AND require
consistent affirmation… is pretending not to see the world as it is
helping them to become healthier and happier or is it merely an act of
codependency which enables dysfunction and fosters fragility?
2 Endorses and encourages narcissistic behavior
Interpersonally exploitative behavior (I am using you as a mirror to
reflect the image of myself I wish to see)
Entitlement (you owe it to me to affirm what I say),
Lack of empathy (I don’t care what you really think/feel),
Arrogance (I demand that you bend to my will or I will say you are
harming me)
3 Gender Confusion for Kids
Encouraging kids who are uncomfortable with their developing bodies and
identities to see their bodies as malleable and to reject their
physicality, normalizing a medicalization of puberty.
How to decline when asked?
Say what you think- confrontational
Politeness works:
You can simply decline - I decline to offer pronouns
I have no special requests
Please use what you feel is appropriate
View all episodes
By Leslie Elliott Boyce
4.7
3131 ratings
For an essay I wrote on this topic see: https://criticaltherapyantidote.org/2022/03/19/preferred-pronouns-neo-etiquette-or-radical-self-rejection/
Pronouns
NO - give your own
Maybe - respect others (support a lie)
1st person - I, me, us, we
2nd person - you, y'all, yours
3rd person - he, she, them, it
3rd person pronouns are how people talk about one person to others.
Reputation building. Not lie TO them, but ABOUT them and FOR them. When
we all give our pronouns the lie is softened because we enter a game in
which we all pretend we forgot the actual meaning of these labels,
therefore those who want to switch pronouns don’t stand out.
Harmless neo-etiquette? NO
1. Undermines self confidence and resilience by asserting that one’s
self concept is dependent on external validation. Anti-
resilience/pro-fragility. Upholds illusion that “misgendering” or
otherwise failing to confirm someone’s illusions is abusive and violent.
That the feeling of not having one’s inner self-concept affirmed should
hurt so badly is truly unfortunate - ask deeper questions. If some
individuals are unhappy enough with their secondary sexual
characteristics that they engage in a radical form of self-rejection
through a spectrum of cosmetic and medical interventions, AND require
consistent affirmation… is pretending not to see the world as it is
helping them to become healthier and happier or is it merely an act of
codependency which enables dysfunction and fosters fragility?
2 Endorses and encourages narcissistic behavior
Interpersonally exploitative behavior (I am using you as a mirror to
reflect the image of myself I wish to see)
Entitlement (you owe it to me to affirm what I say),
Lack of empathy (I don’t care what you really think/feel),
Arrogance (I demand that you bend to my will or I will say you are
harming me)
3 Gender Confusion for Kids
Encouraging kids who are uncomfortable with their developing bodies and
identities to see their bodies as malleable and to reject their
physicality, normalizing a medicalization of puberty.
How to decline when asked?
Say what you think- confrontational
Politeness works:
You can simply decline - I decline to offer pronouns
I have no special requests
Please use what you feel is appropriate
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