Quarantings

Quarantings welcomes their first female guest to the festivities, Lume's cousin Sanyu Lubogo! Sanyu kicks things off with her tales of lockdown life in the Big Apple. Would you let bae cut your hair in quarantine? What happens when a couple has to move in (or out) of a place together during the pandemic?

NYC dating vs Minneapolis dating. Is the MPLS dating scene too “incestuous”? Kristen and Sanyu highlight how dating in Minneapolis is weak compared to the East AND West coast. Lume wonders what ever happened to the “I got somebody perfect for you” real deal friends...

After getting some top notch recs from Sanyu on the best spots for a NYC first date, along with some not ideal first date options; the episode ends with a breakdown on what Lume should be looking for in a bae! Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe people!

Who doesn't love a good embarrassing moment? Kristen and Lume swap some of their more memorable (cringeworthy) stories in the dating world. Kristen starts off by regaling the tomfoolery that is drunkenly never wanting to go tf home. It's totally kosher to ask a guy to pick you up, go back to his crib, pass out, then throw up in his car when he drops you off in AM... right? Then it’s Lume’s turn- Who goes out with friends and actually let's a girl take them on a random party bus? On a fateful night that involves the less fun version of "Netflix and chill", at least he left with some parting gifts. Next up, who got locked in a pool deck of a random apartment building?? Better question, is it not a fire hazard that you can’t exit a pool deck without a key??? Conclusion: All gates are dangerous, period. Is it normal to borderline brawl over Ubers? Another note, don't get pepper sprayed, it sucks. Lume closes out story time with the top life lesson of them all: do not let a random stranger borrow your phone at bar close, regardless of how good their reasoning is.

QQH(44:27): Lume renders his official review of Mortal Kombat (which yes he watched twice) and tells of the joy of returning to a movie theater for the first time in a year. Renting out a theater for a private screening: boss date move or too much? Kristen ridicules the latest news out of her infamous high school: they’re apparently suspending students for anti-police chanting. They close on a lighter note: a legendary man turned “criminal” who was caught getting birthday gifts from 35 different girlfriends...!?

A special treat for the people this episode... Kristen goes off the rails, unscripted, and Miss CEO is ZONED IN. After cooking on a recent altercation at her doctor’s office, and then an absurd shopping experience involving men’s pants, she reveals that not only has she finally joined TikTok, but she’s been secretly harboring what she calls, “the most embarrassing crush on a fake influencer I’ll never even meet”! Can she finally admit her love for simps???

Then, the crew debates the infamous text, "You can come over if you want". Is it time for guys to retired this line or nah? The crew (and studio audience) break down this surprisingly heated topic which somehow turns into to a discussion of YouTuber fight night.

Kristen then bemoans the "when are you going to make an OnlyFans" guy still lurking in her DMs. She briefly takes everyone behind the curtain on her latest thirst trap post. Finally, after clowning Lume on his resolutions slacking, she delivers one more rant- a tirade against the Hinge algorithm.

QQH [45:52]: Lume gushes over the impending release of the new "Mortal Kombat" movie, which leads to a big post-covid-era dating question... Is the "movie date" dead? Kristen gives a history lesson/rant on the movie industry. Finally, the shot of the week goes to the legendary Roller Garden, RIP.

Everyone's favorite rabbit hole: “Riddle Me This” is back, and this week Lume brings Kristen through parts I, II, AND III of a recent "situationship" that was, as the kids say, "a mess". From wrestling, to boat parties, to hookups, to tears, to ghosts, to long winded texts, this one is chalk full of questions. How many explanations can one possibly provide for breaking it off with you? Are you really letting somebody off gently by emphasizing how great they are? Is there such thing as "doing too much"? The people need answers and we got them.

QQH: After highlighting some very important recent events in MN, we got some TV recommendations and another “Godzilla vs Kong” debate featuring a “Star Wars” comparison (what?...). Then, Lil Nas X's new “Montero” video and related shoe controversy, Kristen breaks down an intriguing Space Jam/Covid coincidence, and the pair geek out on the new Space Jam 2 trailer while brainstorming the soundtrack options.

Back in the building, the Quarantings Crew tackles more social media questions. Kristen and Lume go over everything that is “The Thirst trap". A trap pic vs thirst itself; any difference? Do women get mad about guys getting caught in the trap? Are there male thirst traps? Lume illuminates his social media philosophy before revealing his disgust with couple social media profiles. (like seriously why do they exist?) How long should you wait before posting new bae to the grid? (Spoiler alert, do NOT post a pic without Kristen's approval) Do guys actually know when the "subtweet" is about them? Dirty laundry on social (the dreaded notes app post), yay or nay? If you and bae break up, what do you do about socials? Hasn’t everybody been caught liking a super old pic of an ex?

QQH: A final March Madness bracket challenge update that leads to a mini story time from Kristen involving a future Bachelorette. Lume gives a quick review on Godzilla vs Kong and then says his goodbye to another Minneapolis staple bar.

Kristen and Lume are back to break down all considerations for dating somebody who might be a littleeeeeee tiny bit (or a lot) older than you. Is there a too-old-to-hookup limit? How about for a certified public relationship!? Could you date someone as old as your... parents? The crew goes back and forth on the qualifications of a true age gap. Kristen tries really hard to nail an answer on wax (looking at you, George Clooney)! Lume swoons over his (supposedly past) love of MILFs! How does the crew feel about the newly-legally-drinking-every-damn-night-at-the-bar crowd, party time or stay away? Finally, of course, the créme de la créme: how to find a perfect sugar daddy/mama situationship.

No QQH this week but make sure to rate, review, subscribe, and find us on social media!

Instagram: @kingkristenrenee @lumenatorgv

Twitter: @quarantingspodcast

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The Quarantings crew breaks down the breakup. After cooking on the ridiculous idolization of celebrity relationships, they reach the important questions: Should Quavo have repossessed the Benz? Should you repossess your hoodie?? What should become of an engagement ring??? Lume and Kristen both spill on their messiest breakups and debate some nasty hypotheticals. When you find what you wish you wouldn't find on bae's phone... how do you execute the separation? What would you do if you had to separate during a family vacation: play it cool, or cause a scene?

Don't worry, it doesn't end with the breakup (It never does, does it). Texting the ex; yay or nay? Though Kristen can't fathom why you'd want to... Can exes stay friends? Is everyone just hoping to stunt on each other?

QQH: A new Quarantings Youtube page! Some hilarious fan comments re: sex faces, tinder match percentages, & pity hookups. Lastly, an update on March Madness/bracket challenge (Go Blue).

The crew is back... and brought a friend! Stop, Drop, and Roll (www.stopdnr.com) creator, ex D1 college football player, and Quarantings “Podfather” Victor Keise III has arrived to talk dating antics in the sports world as well as how he became the official Twin Cities Egg Roll Dealer (and inadvertently helped found this podcast). Kristen pitches the men her manifesto on athletes (and their dirty ways), clout chasers (and THEIR dirty ways), and everyone who gets caught in between. Tune in to find out once and for all if Kristen is a hater, or if Lume has been wrong about her issues this whole time!

QQH: The time has come, baby! A love fest on the great phenomenon known as March Madness, including how to handle bracketology.

Kristen does her best to convince Lume (with her usual success) that Clubhouse is going to be the next BIG social media, and might even be the new move as a dating app. After breaking down the app's main features, the crew riff on a few example topics lifted from some Clubhouse "room" ventures: Would you be brave enough to "shoot your shot" mere minutes into joining a public room of 300 users? Does everyone make eye contact during sex? Are guys' lack of selfie skills ruining their sex face? What is the price it would take for you to sleep with someone you find completely unattractive?

QQH: Kristen recommends "The Flight Attendant" as the show of the week, "Scary Hours 2" review, that crazy Nike mom's reselling son wilding out, the Royal Family Oprah interview, fake rapid fire this week.

After Lume continues another lovefest to TB12, the crew gets into the latest edition of Riddle Me This, where Kristen tries to get to the bottom of why guys be doing the most. Are men capable of saying what they actually mean or nah? When the time comes to shut down the benefits in a FWB situation, should either party feel some type of way? Should guys really seek advice from a woman that they have slept with...about another woman? Kristen tells a story about a double dog dare involving her acting skills turning into an IRL dating disaster (involving a 10 no less). Lume is amazed as Kristen actually puts on wax some real unique scenarios that have to be heard to be believed. They close out the show talking about Unicorns, for real.