Quarantings

So what had happened was...

Basically Kristen got lost in the sauce of NBA Topshot and dropped her whole life for a week to buy virtual trading cards (no, really). She delivers a love letter to the new hobby that has taken over her life. We will be back with the regularly scheduled programming next week but we couldn't leave the people with nothing, as Lume says "gotta give the people what they want". Until then, join us (or chirp us) on Instagram @KingKristenRenee @Lumenatorgv and Twitter @quarantingspodcast where we got ALLLL the Quarantings video content, dating polls, and more!

With a future outside of lockdown (sort of) in sight, the gang goes back to flirting class. Kristen gives her Flirting 101: The Basics lecture. Are ladies and gents just missing their shots because they're going about things in opposite orders? Does Lume clearly get bottle service too often? Do NOT hug Kristen, save ya energy. Pickup lines: art form or waste of time? Is there such thing as being too flirty? Who has accidentally dropped the "L" word during sexy time? (be honest) Has the pod made the crew way too nosy? A story about somebody failing to catch Kristen's alley-oops somehow leads into a Drake dive because why wouldn't it.

QQH: Kristen suits up for "G.I. Jane" and Lume wonders why players are mad about the upcoming NBA All-Star game.

We here at Quarantings all agree that the day after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday. We can also all agree that the RedZone channel is a national treasure... but is Scott Hanson? In a test of major sporting events that might come to town: Super Bowl week vs Final Four weekend, which is the better party?

Kristen questions whether sports-obsessed-women, aka Unicorns (according to Lume), are a male turn off. What's the sweet-spot-sports-fan-ratio in a relationship? (Spoiler: Kristen will not date you if you don't like sports) Lume gets real bromantic about a certain sports GOAT. Kristen gives an update on the continued investigation of whether you should throw on Drake during a first date with her.

Quaranting Quick Hits (QQH): Valentine's day (a lame holiday that can't be ignored), "court-side Karen" vs Lebron James, and Kristen's favorite "sports" movie.

The crew tackles the age old issue of how to handle a long distance relationship. Did quarantine help or hurt an LDR? When should you just call it quits? Is there a standard expiration timeframe? (Spoiler alert, do not leave Kristen alone for... *any* length of time) Why didn't lockdown lead to more locking it down? Do LDR's simply cost ($$) too much? Kristen delivers Study Abroad 101.

Quarantings Quick hits: An interesting movie choice, a big NBA trade, and rant about SoHo Karen.

To close out January, Kristen and Lume break down their 2021 New Year's Dating Resolutions. The hope is strong that Miss 'Rona will let us ALL get it in more often than last year. Lume fixes Kristen's weak Tinder bio while the crew highlights some questionable swiping practices. Will Lume finally find a truly unknown, rando, "never heard of her" match? Does anybody believe he is actually giving up one night stands? Will the two start shooting their shots more once they get back in the bars (bars, what are those)? How many first dates can they muster in a year? Kristen wants to have sex where!? The crew closes the episode with an important self care message and this week's latest Quarantings Quick Hits.

Lume tries his hand at this week's Riddle Me This scenario- What's the ideal way to handle your shawty's birthday? The crew also debate whether they'd let a stranger buy their significant other a drink on a night out at the bar. Is it "just a free drink" or something more meaningful? They close out the show with some fan comments and Kristen's "perfect" New Year's Kiss advice.

Lume introduces Kristen to the wondrous world of OnlyFans (surprisingly she's never been on there before). The pair discuss the benefits of accessing raunchy material during quarantine. Could either of them handle dating a Porn star? Instagram models versus OnlyFans: where the bag at? Kristen tries to understand d*ck pic logic and hits the people with the truth about women and porn. How much porn should bae be watching with or without you? Another round of Quarantings Quick Hits closes out a racy episode.

"When you see it, you just know!"

"You are the one!"

"I knew it from the moment I first laid eyes on you."

Lume does his best to convince Kristen that love at first sight is REAL, and the conversation goes... well it goes. The crew also debate whether the opposite sex can truly be BFF's and Lume gives his wifey material checklist. Lastly, Kristen once again expresses her love for the city of angels.

This week starts with some proof of pettiness from Kristen (spoiler alert, do not copy her style). Is it ever OK to hookup or pursue ya homies ex? Is there a statute of limitation when it comes to a friend or family member's ex? Is a "poonany pal" the only kind of pal that should be linking up? Getting with your siblings friends: cool or not cool? Does getting flown out mean you better be putting out? Kristen and Lume hit these and other topics on the latest episode.

Are you pro- "Holiday Sneak Attack"... AKA is it fair game to text your ex on a holiday?! When's the right time to bring bae to a family gathering? Does anyone know when cuffing season starts? Kristen and Lume get into the Christmas spirit because ya know it's the most wonderful time of the year! The crew also gives some "Quaranting Quick Hits" on what to watch, Tom Cruise, and a goodbye to a Minneapolis staple.