Quarantings

Been awhile since Quarantings brought on a guest, let alone a surprise guest. The homie Nikki Johnson comes through to celebrate her birthday with the crew (First question- when should one celebrate a mid week bday?) Hot off the open, the trio revisit Lume's most debated text response aka "You can come over if you want to". To no one’s surprise the ladies have some pointed opinions on this virtual conundrum, but then the tables are turned as Lume calls them out for being two of the worst texters this side of the Mississippi. Should you leave read receipts on iPhone gang? Calling versus texting. A little "discussion" bout them dreaded green bubbles (are androids deal breakers?). Apparently dating in AZ is for the fun, while dating in MN is for The One according to this week's guest... is she right? Nikki reveals she has only spent a whopping 30 mins of her life on total on dating apps... Don't think Lume will be asking for another female guest for awhile after this one.

QQH (39:54): Kristen gives her final EURO Cup update and Ronaldo's latest thirst trap. A switch up as Lume provides the recommendation this week with his love letter to Loki. A quick Emmy nominations breakdown from the resident entertainment expert. *Rant alert* Lume wants people to stop posting quotes to their IG stories that do not apply to them. Like right now. Then the crew goes over a petty punch that is next level. (no kids were harmed in the making of this episode)

Kristen opens this week’s episode with the story (justification) of how she “accidentally” ended up with a new PS5... and then goes on to vent her frustrations on her newly flourishing anxiety re: quarantine is over (queen extrovert pressed about socializing!? Truly shocking). Then the show gets down to business as the team is tackling all that entails proper and improper shooting form.(11:25) What sparks a person to shoot their shot? The cold shot with a random stranger versus hollering at a known acquaintance, which is trickier? Airport bars are apparently Lume's jam. Solo hype man versus whole squad encouragement, what type of pressure is good pressure? Is the bar entry line the best place to shoot? We still sending "you up?" texts or nah? Tf is a "sneaky link"? What are the best holidays for working on your shooting form? *Fake Spoiler alert* Yes there way too many sports analogies used in this episode.

QQH(58:49): A not-very-quick version of Quick Hits this week as they hit all the angles on the Maria Taylor/Rachel Nichols drama. Is the whole situation more ESPN's fault that anyone else? (Yes). Would this even be a news story if it were two male analysts? (No). Why in the blue hell did Jimmy Butler start trending amidst this beef?

After the most all-over-the-place intro of all time, Kristen and Lume get to the business of discussing Kristen’s 1st vacation since the COVID outbreak: sunny San Diego. How did she handle her “I refuse to check a bag” dilemma? How did she solve the dreaded A1 outfit versus horror porta potty scenario? How was the absolute glory that was the PGA US Open at Torrey Pines? Later, is somebody sleazy if they attempt to hide their name at a get together? Did Kristen flirt with this random guy on her flight back? (You be the judge...) Of course she also had to gush on her visit to Disneyland and specifically Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge. Will Kristen's next vacation involve ANY legitimate podcast research? Lume recounts his weekend of he and a member of the studio audience making an impromptu visit to a bar they were not expecting. Finally, they revisit Kristen's ideal roster size and she puts on wax what she is looking for in a man this summer. A little PSA as we are getting deep into #shotgirlsummer.

QQH (41:05): After a little reminiscing on the origins of the podcast, Kristen gives a viewing recommendation even she isn't proud of, called The Investigation (skip ahead from 47:00 to avoid spoilers). Lume then discusses the savageness that has been Scottie Pippen's recent "Digits" bourbon press circuit, which of course leads to Malik Beasly/Larsa Pippin talk. Lume re-lives a traumatic game of beer darts. Kristen puts Lume onto the newest Nelly/FGL song. Show closes with a shoutout to MegaBabe.

The crew is in vacation mode, but that can't stop them from giving the people another episode of Quarantings. Kristen breaks down the stress that is packing for a vacation and how it is different between men and women. Lume cooks on his confusion over his profiles being so much more "swipeable" when not in the home state of Minnesota (apparently it's matches galore outside of the US). Kristen describes her recent first visit to The Saloon Minneapolis (apparently it's jock straps galore inside this establishment). As the flood gates of quarantine have been opened, the gang swoons over being back out in the streets! You can tell they missed it a little. Are the roaring '20s making a comeback!? Why can't Lume (and other men) accurately evaluate how old these women are that they're seeing out at bars?

QQH (51:27): After Lume concedes that it is time for him to hold an "L" re: arguing movies with Kristen, Kristen gives an interesting TV show recommendation for the show "Clarkson's Farm". Then, a brief NBA playoffs update, a shoutout to Carl Nassib, Trick Daddy picking the wrong battle, and a nice Tristan Thompson grilling. They close out the show with a love letter centering around two words: Free Britney. Spoiler alert, Kristen REALLY loves Britney.

Recording from the lovely new humble abode of the CEO, this week's episode has the Quarantings crew going to school just in time for hot girl summer. The subject? The art of setting up a dating roster. Professor Kristen starts off with a lesson on the evolution of dating. How do you select the right people to ensure championship level success? Are you toxic if you have a roster? What is the ideal roster size? How do you keep up the proper communication with all the players on your team? Are there people that shouldn't have a roster but try to anyways? Can Kristen convince Lume to assemble one? How do you stop the roster from blowing up into full on drama? What is it like setting up the roster IRL vs on the dating apps? This leads the class off track to talk about Kristen's dating profiles and if they need improvement or not.

QQH(49:29): First Lume tries to convince Kristen that she as a real Star Wars fan, needs to give "The Bad Batch" another chance. Then Kristen gives her most dual sided review of a movie yet, talking through whether or not "Z for Zachariah" is good or not. Kristen gives a breakdown of the US Open 2021 aka who she will be creeping on when she watches live on vacation. They close out the episode inspired by all of Kristen's sports analogies by reviewing the recent NBA playoff action and the Euro Cup 2020 (yes they’re still calling it 2020).

Kristen does her best to carry a (fake) hurt Lume through this week's episode as they discuss all that entails a classic dating scenario: "coming back around". When it's been awhile since you saw each other and it is "Just sooo good to see you!"... Who's winning, the comeback kid or the receiver? Does Lume like being the comeback kid a little too much? Is there a true difference between a proper comeback and the toxic, never gonna leave ex? Did Ben Affleck just pull this move to its ultimate level (JLo) or is he just another basic rebound? Are rebounds never meant to work out? Kristen makes her case for the A$AP Rocky (Rihanna) comeback as the crème de la crème top shelf. Kristen dishes on a current man in her life who is attempting to accomplish the this week's topical feat! How long is too long before you should actually not attempt coming back around? Apparently Lume refuses to tell people that he has dreamed about them, a move that Kristen supports.

QQH (58:00): Lume wonders when all nurses in the Twin Cities became full blown models while Kristen highlights the increase in influencers that have real jobs. Kristen talks about a very odd new celebrity couple, then the crew closes out with some music recommendations (don't worry Drake is obviously brought up).

Kristen starts the episode by revisiting her New Year's resolution/favorite plea: more prioritization and normalization of sexual well-being. Related, she explains how her new condo is already paying off.

Is it weird to have a painting/photograph of yourself hanging in your bedroom? Lume can't comprehend this, but Kristen is all for it. YOU as your phone background/lock screen, yay or nay? What's the word on giving a picture of you as a gift to others? Then, the crew gets into a deep conversation about bathroom etiquette and male beauty routines.

QQH (48:58): After finally hitting some overdue audience comments including how to get on the pod as a guest, Kristen's watch recommendation of the week is the new thriller Chaos Walking. Lume and Kristen dive into the Naomi Osaka drama and the overarching debate on whether athletes need to speak with the media.

We all seen ‘em, we all love to ignore ‘em, this week the crew airs out some of their dating red flags. Do you notice them in the moment or after it is too late? Kristen informs Lume (and this week’s all male studio audience) that if your living space isn't right that women will be marking that down. Kitchen better be looking clean, and empty walls throughout the house is a no no. Then they engage in the most fake heated debate in Quarantings history to date; how many pillows should a man have on their bed? We all know phone ettiquette is a big red flag, let's be honest now. How long before you should give bae the phone password? 

How much should somebody be on their phone when you are out together? How long into a relationship is it okay to keep bae hidden from your social media?

QQH (58:53): Kristen breaks down the PGA Championship and the latest interation of "The Match”, while Lume goes in on the shady soon to be former Timberwolves owner. Show closes out with a little Anthony Edwards love.

Another week, another installment of Riddle Me This. This time Kristen regals the unique saga of a dating app match leading to some questionable IRL moments that leave her pondering.... From IG super sleuthing, to charming texts, to the weakest "date fail" ever (Like seriously who "forgets" to pay their phone bill in 2021?)....DID KRISTEN GET CATFISHED?!?!

Related: getting hit on by your server (Shoutout Hewing Hotel MPLS) as you're being stood up, boss move or nah? How bad of a sign is it to see your iMessage conversation suddenly go green? How many times can you call/FaceTime somebody in a row?

Do YOU think you are above being Catfished? Apparently Kristen does! This edition of Riddle Me This is so wild Lume can't believe this happened (even if he helped a little bit).

QQH (41:02): Kristen tells a story about when (and especially where) one should not host a drug deal. Lume cooks on all that is the Kwame Brown resurgence. They close out the show trying to understand why the FAA/TSA really thinks they need to start randomly weighing people before flights.

After a startling revelation, Kristen discusses her miraculous recovery from the brink of death, her beginning the roomie search, and shot girl summer roster prep. Then the team is back to talk about all that is getting back into the bar scene as the country finally opens up. Are we actually ready for real human interaction again? Will the 'Rona have a negative or positive impact on how we will act out on a Saturday night now? How do you handle the approaching of a potential and not have it be awkward? While guys clearly use the accidental bump/drink spill as a move, do girls ever use that same game?

Is Lume finally going to start shooting his shot more now that we are opening up? Does anybody believe that "the bar is too dark" is a real excuse for Kristen not shooting her shot? What are the Quarantings crew go-to drinks? Do girls actually judge guys based on their drink order? Is Lume way too dramatic when it comes to what shots can and cannot be ordered. After a side story about the now closed Bar Louie, Lume goes over a recent night out in the new post-quarantine era that went way left.

QQH (65:37): Kristen highlights a new crime show with Kate Winslet while Lume recommends what else but a new anime about a black Samurai. While she hasn't watched Mortal Kombat yet, Kristen gushes about Tenet and discusses the movie making wonders of Christopher Nolan.