Radio Free Edville

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, the world’s biggest painting spawns imitators and paint shortages; Edna ponders the grave national question of conventional eggs versus organics; Dick advises the feds on improving rural transit; Shirley skewers candles that smell like women’s body parts, and wonders whether the future of archives really is digital; krystal hopes that badass mafia types continue to post tasty recipes online; Buster recounts the glamorous tale of a young Bonnie & Clyde on the lam in Cobourg; Heddi congratulates herself on having magnificently symmetrical boobs; NASA continues to send Wright Brothers paraphernalia into space; and Hugo wonders what we’ll all do now that the Suez Canal is unstuck.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, Bertie worries that the elimination of fax machines might cause a human extinction event; Edna ponders the symbolism of the C.N. Tower’s declining virility; Dick gives Russian researchers credit for kicking our asses on Sputnik—again; Shirley relocates a deceased cat; krystal skewers the corporate geniuses who put shrimp tails in cereal boxes; Buster gets to the bottom of systemic constipation at the Department of Finance; Mabel offers D.I.Y. unbeauty tips for the irredeemably perfect; Heddi laments all the medically risky erections she may have inspired; scientists quarrel over what pastry item an interstellar object most resembles; ravens take over a Costco parking lot; and Hugo hails King Elon.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, yet another Barrie man sinks yet another F150 in Lake Simcoe; Edna takes issue with an NDP proposal to import the Brits’ nanny state; Dick takes the National News Awards’ snub in stride, entirely without malice; Shirley unclogs the mysteries of retro clogs; krystal wonders why J Biebs used a big yikes sample on his new album; Buster probes the Van Life movement in a sensitive and empathetic manner; Mabel patents a fake pink-eye fix for pandemic peer pressure; Roy goes banahnahs over people’s insufferable use of the term vinyls; Heddi wonders whether social media distractions might mark the end of civilization; and Hugo brings his usual perspicacity to meteorite strikes and wet kitties.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, Ottawa subsidizes meat markets to avert a national fertility crisis; Edna floods her column with pig feces; Dick develops an appreciation of French cinema; Holly ponders the sudden popularity of all things goat; Shirley reminisces about records and 8-tracks, and offers her vague recollections of (other people) tripping on psilocybin mushrooms; krystal passes a big birthday milestone and wonders if it’s really necessary to do her taxes; Buster offers a mindful and empathetic reading of a brawl in a jetliner; Heddi skewers a Brit wanker for suing his own parents; and Hugo ponders the new Voyager space station, while allowing new A.I.s to assess his own attractiveness.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, the Gazette joins the Canadian media herd and announces plans to subsidize quality journalism with online gambling; Edna goes all dreamy at the thought of an in-person 2021 Royal Winter Fair; Dick insists that if he’s to remain humble and grounded, he needs a private island; Shirley archives her secret stash of vintage plastic straws for posterity; krystal is both scared and scarred by online shopping; Buster ponders the economics of yard sales; Heddi skewers Google for claiming that German women are not racy; an American surgeon fights a traffic charge while performing a routine procedure; and Hugo ponders the true value to memorabilia buffs of American presidential detritus.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, Edna ponders the spreadability of the Buttergate scandal; Dick marvels at Hasbro’s marketing strategy for Mr. Potato Head; Edna explores the multicultural mysteries of beach-volleyball couture; Holly coaches married couples on spicing up their sex lives; Shirley remembers the Great Canadian Badass Emily Carr; krystal wonders whether Vampire U is worth the investment; Buster explains the symbiosis of geezers and garbage tags; Mabel shares some D.I.Y. “landscaping” tips with shaggy pandemic shut-ins; Heddi ponders the prolific procreation of the royals, and compares herself to a tasty fruit; and Hugo exposes the subterranean truth about fatbergs and lucid dreams.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, two happy Canadians are selected for Covid vaccinations, possibly with even more to follow; Edna explores the seminal impact of A.I. and robotics on farms; Dick has a change of heart about Prince Edward County’s tourist boom; Hugo recounts a goldfish invasion; Shirley unearths the unlikely origins of the Canadian toonie; krystal promotes school field trips to the local 7-11; Buster challenges the condescending stereotype that ice-fishing attracts boozers and potheads; Jeff offers babysitting tips from the man cave; the U.S. Navy patents anti-matter technologies; and Heddi asks whether there are any practical limits to the bonds of love.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, the Tragically Hip lawyers up; Bertie has a bad feeling about Sunday Gun Hunting; the CBC discovers the remains of a politically-correct pirate; Paris orgy aficionados are booked for wearing the wrong sort of masks; Heddi has a close encounter with a sexy Zoom boy; krystal assesses the impact of Gorilla Glue Girl on youth culture; Buster ponders the mysteries of Sudbury’s Get-Off-My-Lawn Standoff; Mabel offers some DIY tips on the application of faux freckles; three Earthling probes crowd onto Mars; and Hugo salutes Ham the Astrochimp for his pioneering contributions to primate space flight.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, anti-natalist saboteurs are accused of disrupting global flower supply-chains; Edna weighs in on Victoria Beach and men in Speedos; Dick goes full James Bond and suggests shuttering CSIS; Shirley recounts Edville’s role in the Great Canadian Flag Debate; Hugo weighs in on the Doug Ford Spring Collection; rumours that groundhog Wiarton Willie is on life-support have the world on edge; a twiggy sculptor brightens up a Burnaby park; krystal reminds old people over 20 that kids are stressed; Buster tries his hand at mindfulness; Jeff offers Valentine’s Day romance tips from the man cave; a big blue covid variant stalks Europe; and Angelina Jolie has to liquidate assets.

Join host Roy Thomas Padgham for your weekly hit of wisdom and wit. This week, Ottawa takes aim at all those stubborn Canadian snowbirds; Edna ponders seaweed as a yummy human food source; Dick considers upgrading his credentials at U-Haul University; Shirley excavates Edville’s proud line of prognosticating groundhogs; Heddi gives Gwyneth’s vagina-scented candles two thumbs down; krystal complains about the horrors of exams; Buster shares his feelings about a bitcoin loser; Mabel offers some no-nonsense D.I.Y. skincare tips for the housebound glamour girl; a U.S. congressman wants to cash in on Bigfoot; Hugo ponders the emergent field of candyology; and the E.U. holds an emergency meeting to fix its shoddy logo.