Author and parenting coach, Maggie Dent, talks to Kathryn about her new book Girlhood: raising our little girls to be healthy, happy and heard. She says it is vital that parents enable young girls' voices to be heard, and help girls navigate the challenges of modern times. Maggie is the mother of four boys, and the proud grandmother of four girls. She's a former teacher and counsellor, the host of the ABC podcast Parental as Anything.

Author and parenting coach Maggie Dent talks to Kathryn about her new book Girlhood: raising our little girls to be healthy, happy and heard.

She says it is vital that parents enable young girls' voices to be heard, and help girls navigate the challenges of modern times.

Dent is the mother of four boys, and the proud grandmother of four girls, a former teacher, counsellor, and the host of the ABC podcast Parental as Anything

Listen to the full interview here

There's a subtle conditioning in society that girls should be nice, always kind to others, and put others first, Dent tells Kathryn Ryan.

"We need a balance on that because sometimes there are women who are burning out, because they look after all their family and all their friends and their neighbourhood and they're on the school board and they don't look after themselves.

"So began as curiosity thing, you know, how can we raise them to be exactly those three things, happy, healthy and heard and being able to take care of themselves and celebrate who they are, not because of how they look or whether they're quiet and nice."

It's crucial to reinforce these messages from as early as possible because the foundation years, when the brain is formed, last until about five or six, she says.

"Interestingly, a child's sense of self is formed in those five years and their self-regulating systems, how they manage big ugly feelings, their physical strength, their co-ordinations ... sense of how connected and safe am I in this world of grown-ups around me.

"The human mind forms, Kathryn, it's very different to the human brain, and then our belief systems are also shaped."

So the negative voice that tends to emerge in later years for adolescent girls will have been sparked much earlier, she says.

"There were still clear messages that girls are supposed to be quieter and nicer and well behaved and they're also not supposed to do things that are considered boy-like.

"We're still getting conditioned in that window and the conditioning stays there which shapes the behaviour that we have later in life."

Helping girls understand their emotions and develop strategies in that window of time will make life easier for them going forward, she says…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details