Relationships Inside Out

“I cannot believe my partner cheated on me.” “I feel so betrayed.” “How could my partner do this to me?” “I never thought this would happen to me or in my relationship.” “It is all my partner’s fault!” “Our relationship is ruined!” 

Infidelity can feel absolutely devastating. Infidelity can shatter all expectations of trust, mutuality, love, future, and commitment. But what if I told you that it did not have to ruin your life, or even your relationship, forever? The way we define infidelity can vary widely by person and couple, but also so can the outcomes. With proper support, many couples actually report having a stronger relationship after this betrayal than before. Let us tell you how to help prevent it, but also proper next steps to move beyond it!

Join us, Dr. Greg Seibert and Dr. Kimberly Murray, as we unpack the complexity of infidelity, identify warning signs that your relationship may be at risk, and tips to recover following infidelity on Episode 12 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. We discuss how each partner can do their part in safe-guarding the relationship and building a healthy, trusting relationship.

If you find any of our episodes helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we dive into anxiety, detailing what it looks like, how it can impact your life, and tools to actually overcome it! Later topics include: navigating the transition into parenthood, depression, battling personal insecurities, self-compassion, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Some resources discussed in this episode:

1. Knopp K, Scott S, Ritchie L, Rhoades GK, Markman HJ, Stanley SM (2017). Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships. Arch Sex Behav. 46(8):2301-2311.
2. Selterman, W., Garcia, J., and I. Tsapelas (2017). Motivations for Extradyadic Infidelity Revisited. The Journal of Sex Research. 56:3, 273-286.
3. Weiser, A., Weigel, A., Laiasz, C. et al. (2015). Family Background and Propensity to Engage in Infidelity. Journal of Family Issues. 38(15):2083-2101.
4. Causes and Risks of Why Married People Cheat
5. The 8 Main Reasons Why People Cheat-Psychology Today

Think about all that you do, feel, and value in your life. Have you ever wondered where your unique beliefs and traits come from? What if I told you that all of those, and truly just about every part of yourself, is influenced by your family and growing up experiences?  Yes, even the person who says, “I am nothing like my family.” No one can out run the impacts of their growing up experiences on who they are today (even you 😉). 

Families teach us how to behave, believe, trust, love, communicate, fight, interact, grow, look at ourselves, and so much more. Family influences the deepest parts of ourselves, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. The beautiful part: you get a choice in who we are going forward, and we look forward to giving you insights on how!

Join my colleague, Dr. Greg Seibert, LMFT, and I, Dr. Kimberly Murray, LMFT,  as we share the ways family can impact us, including bits about how our own families have impacted us as people and therapists, on Episode 11 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. We discuss how family shapes who we are, both the good and the bad, as well as ways to keep the parts we like and shift the things we don’t. 

If you find any of our episodes helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we dive into infidelity, how we define it, healthy next steps, and tools to assist in recovery following infidelity (even if the relationship does not continue). Later topics include: navigating the transition into parenthood, depression, battling personal insecurities, self-compassion, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

You NEVER do anything right. You ALWAYS let me down. Why can’t you just do what I asked? I am jealous of my friend’s husband who actually helps out around the house. You are such a disappointment. You never do things right. How did I get stuck with you as my partner? 

Let’s get honest. Have you ever said any of these comments or maybe been on the receiving end of these critical statements? You are not alone… the vast majority of us have. Criticism is often learned starting at the same time we learn to tie our shoes, but it does not have to follow you for life. You and your loved ones deserve better!

Join my colleague, Dr. Gregory Seibert, LMFT, and I, Dr. Kimberly Murray, LMFT,  as we get critical about being critical. We breakdown what unhealthy criticism looks like, the impact it can have on relationships, and ways to shift these toxic patterns on Episode 10 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. Criticism takes two to tango. Let us help you and your partner learn about each of your roles in this unhealthy pattern, as well as healthy ways to conquer the criticism!

Please head on over and check out episode 10, Let’s Get Critical, as well as our past episodes. If you find any of them helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we explore the role our family and growing up experiences have on ALL of us today (yes, not even you are exempt!), and how to appreciate the things we loved about those experiences and adjust the things we didn’t. Later topics include: navigating the transition into parenthood, anxiety, battling personal insecurities, self-compassion, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

I am over it. 

I am over COVID. I am over feeling worn out, irritable, lonely, stressed, and disconnected with those I love due to COVID burnout. I am over witnessing the toll COVID has taken on other people, damaging relationships, mental health, physical health, development, and connection. I am straight up over the word COVID. Anyone else feel this way? 

Join my colleague, Dr. Greg Seibert, LMFT, and I, Dr. Kimberly Murray, LMFT, as we unpack the damage COVID burnout has wreaked in all of our lives over the past 2 years, especially within our romantic partnerships. On Episode 9 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out, we share our lived experiences of the pandemic and those we have witnessed, shed light on why COVID has been so challenging, and give tools to help us all move into a new normal. You are not alone in journey of overcoming the battle of COVID burnout!

Please head on over and check out episode 9, Navigating COVID Burnout, as well as our past episodes. Disclaimer:  This post is NOT about politics, masks, vaccines, or any other polarizing facet of the pandemic. If you find any of them helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we discuss criticism and ways to interact with loved ones and partners who are critical, preserving your mental health and the health of your relationships. Later topics include: battling personal insecurities, self-compassion, boundaries, navigating the transition into parenthood, managing family relationships, and so much more!

“I can’t live without you.” “I cannot function in life without you.” “You are my entire world.” “I can’t go anywhere without you.” “To say no to you would be a betrayal of our relationship.” “My needs do not matter as much as yours.” “I am addicted to my partner and our relationship.” “I love you no matter what.” “I don’t know who I am outside of this relationship.”

All of these may seem like lines from a Hollywood love story, one of deep connection, love, loyalty, and altruism. What if I told you these are all warning signs of unhealthy relationship patterns, potentially including codependency? Codependency is marked with a loss of self and identity outside of the relationship, constantly sacrificing of your needs for the other, wearing our partner’s emotions as though they were your own, and loyalty without condition. So, if you find yourself in this potentially unhealthy relationship pattern, what can you do about it? That is where we come in! 

My fellow licensed doctor of marriage and family therapy, Dr. Greg Seibert, and I, Dr. Kimberly Murray, LMFT,  unpack what codependency truly is, red flags that you are in this cycle, and concrete tools to break these unhealthy relationship patterns and master healthy relationships on episode 8 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. Codependency is often learned in childhood, but it does not have to be a life sentence! We all deserve healthy, respectful, and fulfilling relationships!

Please head on over and check out episode 8, I Can’t Live Without You (Codependency in Couples), as well as our past episodes. If you find any of them helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we discuss COVID burnout and ways reclaim your life in light of all that we have all been through over the last 2 years. Later topics include: navigating criticism and critical people, self-compassion, boundaries, navigating the transition into parenthood, managing family relationships, and so much more! 

Sex is such a chore. It’s been a week; I know my partner is going to want to have sex tonight and I just don’t feel like it. I am too tired to have sex today… and every day. I am too busy to have sex. I just don’t feel sexy or confident anymore, so I don’t want to have sex with my partner. I just give it to my partner so they will stop asking; I don’t even enjoy it anymore. I can’t remember the last time we had sex. I miss the spark in our relationship! 

Have you ever said any of these? I would venture to say almost everyone has at some point, especially when we have been with someone for a long time and the stressors keep piling on. Let’s take the conversation about sex out of the dark and talk about it openly! Let’s face it: sex is one of the most universal human experiences. So why is there so much shame, stigma, and mystery around it? It is time for that to change!

My fellow licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Greg Seibert, and I, Dr. Kimberly Murray, LMFT,  dive into the ins and outs of sex, exploring how it ebbs and flows over time, tools to overcome the barriers for sex, and tips to bring the fun back into the bedroom on episode 7 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. Sex should be an enjoyable experience, not one of dread, guilt, avoidance, or boredom. Let’s reignite that spark with your partner again!

Please head on over and check out episode 7, Let’s Talk about Sex. We even suggest listening to it with your partner, so you can improve your sexual partnership together! If you find it helpful to you, please share with those that you love to help them also enjoy their sexual selves! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]!  

TOMORROW, we unpack codependency, including what it means, red flags that it is knocking on your door, and ways to overcome codependent patterns in relationships. Later topics include: self-compassion, boundaries, managing COVID fatigue and disconnection, navigating the transition into parenthood, managing family relationships, and so much more!

I deserve joy, relaxation, and time to myself. I lovingly give myself time every day to meet my own needs.  I don’t deserve to feel guilty or worried for taking care of myself. I am an expert at sharing my needs with my loved ones and making sure that my needs get met. I am just as gentle and compassionate with myself as I am with those I love. I am confident that my needs matter just like everyone else!

 When was the last time you thought any of those sentences to yourself, if ever? If I had to guess, any variation of those would feel selfish, self-indulgent, and downright impossible. We are often skilled in meeting the needs of others but deeply struggle to meet, or even identify, our own needs. It is time to shift this thinking! Self-care is vital for not only our mental health, but also our physical health, relationships, productivity, and ability to serve as parents!

My fellow licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Greg Seibert, and I, Dr. Kimberly Murray, LMFT,  explore what self-care is, how to overcome barriers to self-care, and give you tools to incorporate it into your everyday life on episode 6 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. We all deserve to have our needs met every single day, just like those we love. Yes, even you! Let us help you get there!

Please head on over and check out episode 6, Self-care. If you find it helpful to you, please share with those that you love to help them also practice self-care daily! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

TOMORROW, we talk about the all-anticipated topic, sex. We tackle the idea of sex being a chore with tools to reignite the spark in your relationship, as well as how to communicate about sex and during sex, setting us up for the most rewarding sexual experience possible. Later topics include, sex, self-compassion, codependency, boundaries, managing COVID fatigue and disconnection, navigating the transition into parenthood, and so much more! 

All my partner and I do is fight. I feel like I can’t talk to my partner. I never feel heard. Why do we keep going around and around in the same circles, fighting about the same things we did 10 years ago? How do we fix this? I miss my partner and the relationship we used to have. I am ready to give up…

I imagine many, if not all of us, are guilty of saying many of these phrases before in our romantic relationships, or even with our family members and friends. Communication is central to our lives yet can be incredibly difficult. What if I told you that you and your partner could overcome these patterns, leading to both of you feeling heard, validated, respected, and connected? Let us help you get there!

My fellow licensed and doctoral marriage and family therapist and I break down what unhealthy patterns of communication look like and how to overcome them in episode 5 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out. We provide tools to communicate well, even when we disagree, setting you each up for success. We all deserve to feel safe and validated when we are vulnerable with those we love! 

Remember, you are in this together, so we suggest even listening to this episode together. Please head on over and check it out. If you find it helpful, please share with those that you love to help them communicate better, too! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! TOMORROW, we explore the benefits of self-care and how to masterfully engage in self-care daily. Yes, I said daily! You DESERVE it! Later topics include, sex, self-compassion, codependency, boundaries, managing COVID fatigue and disconnection, navigating the transition into parenthood, and so much more!

Many of us have often questioned the secrets to healthy relationships. How do we create and maintain healthy relationships, with our romantic partners, friends, and family members? How do I navigate dating? How do I know when a relationship is unhealthy? Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes in relationships over and over again? Is there anything I can do to fix it?

My fellow licensed marriage and family therapist and I answer these questions, and many more, about how to create and preserve healthy relationships in episode 4 of our podcast, Relationships Inside Out (can be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Buzzsprout, and Podbean)! We offer tangible tips of how to best navigate unhealthy relationship patterns and foster the relationships you most deeply desire and deserve. 

Please head on over and check it out. Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! TOMORROW, we dive into communication and how to communicate well, even when we disagree. Later topics include, sex, self-care and self-compassion, boundaries, navigating the transition into parenting, and so much more!