Relationships Inside Out

Ask yourself, what do you need? How do you like things done/arranged at home? If someone could take something off your plate to bring you relief, what would it be? What does it feel for you when you have to do everything yourself? 

Now ask yourself the same questions, but from your partner’s perspective. Do you know what they need or what their preferences are? Do you aim to meet those? Do you know when they are stressed or what they want to offload from their plate? Do they feel like you are an equal contributor in the relationship or at home, and if not, what do you think it feels like for them to carry the lions share?

Join us as we breakdown reciprocity: what is looks like, how it impacts ALL of our relationships, and what your role is in keeping reciprocity alive. Reciprocity, or the perceived give and take in relationships, is crucial for healthy and balanced relationships. It isn’t as simple as doing more things around the house; we all have different needs and preferences, and thus evaluate reciprocity differently. Let us tell you how and guide you through a roadmap to make this easier!

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we dive into perfectionism, including what it looks like, how it can hold us back, and ways to tackle this pattern of thought and behavior. Later topics include: how to navigate finances as a partnership, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

For more resources and updates, follow us on Facebook at @RelationshipsInsideOutllc!

Some resources related to our topic:
1. What is Reciprocity?
2. The Importance of Reciprocity
3. Reciprocity in friendships
 

Grief and loss. Two words that can really pack a punch, steal our breath, and take us to our knees. Grief and loss bring about our deepest of pain and potentially our most intense disappointments. We experience grief through a variety of experiences, including losing a loved one, not getting a job we hoped for, loss of what we expected to be, from our loved one’s actions, and so much more. While common, grief and loss have to potential to devastate our world and isolate us in an instant. 

Join us as we wade into the deep water of grief and loss. Remember, grief and loss can look different for every person, with different reactions, timetables, and processes. There is no way to rush the process of grief, but we provide some tools that may help in offering or seeking effective support to make the grief a bit easier. No one needs to walk this journey alone! 

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we share about the importance of the give and take in relationships, as well as tips and tricks to do it well and meet one another’s needs while meeting your own! Later topics include: perfectionism, how to navigate finances as a partnership, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

For more updates or resources, follow us on Facebook at @RelationshipsInsideOutllc!

Some resources related to this episode:
1. What is Grief?
2. The 5 Stages of Grief
3. Ways to support someone who is grieving
4. Ways to support and not support someone grieving
5. Barriers to supporting someone who is grieving
6. Other types of loss

“Thank you! I really appreciate that you did the dishes!”

This phrase is simple but oh so powerful! Doesn’t it feel good to know when we are appreciated or our hard work is noticed and valued?  Dually, when we are struggling and someone offers non-judgmental support or acknowledgement of our pain, doesn’t that help take a little bit of sting, or even the loneliness, out of that experience? This is what we call validation!  

Validation disarms defensiveness and breeds curiosity. Validation encourages both partners to take ownership of not only our struggles, but also individual needs and the wins in the relationship. Validation is pivotal in creating a healthy and happy marriage that lasts, yet we are never really given the tools to master it outside of what we experience with family and friends. That is where we come in! 

Join us as we unpack validation in interpersonal relationships, as well as with the self. We describe what validation should look like, common pitfalls, and tools to enhance validation in your marriage. Validation is crucial for healthy relationships and getting our needs met. Let us guide you on this critical tool! 

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we open up the world of grief and loss, including how to offer support to someone else or move through it effectively on your own journey. Later topics include: tackling the tit for tat, how to talk navigate finances as a partnership, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Follow us on Facebook at @RelationshipsInsideOutllc for more content and information about upcoming events!

Some resources surrounding this episode:
1. What is Emotional Validation?
2. Why Partners Need to Validate Each Other
3. Validation in Relationships
4. Validation in the Workplace

“I hate my body.” “I wish I was like my friend. She is so pretty and successful.” “I am a failure” “Why do I suck at everything I do?” “I am ashamed of certain parts of me.” “I don’t know how anyone could love me or find me attractive.” “I will never be good enough.” “Once I fix this part of myself, then I will be happy.”  

Have you ever said any of these phrases, or something similar, to yourself? All these point to personal insecurities, a common yet painful lived experience. Insecurities not only hurt us, but they can impact our romantic relationships, friendships, pursuit of opportunities, career, and so much more. Despite almost all of us struggling with insecurity, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can both love yourself (I mean all of you!) AND desire change. Yes, you can enjoy the journey, rather than just hating yourself until you hit that end goal!

Join us as we pull apart the intricacies of insecurities, including what they look like and how to tackle them. We give tangible tools to turn that negative self-judgment into acceptance with actionable steps for change. You and your partner deserve to both feel confident and at peace, improving your connection and relationship!

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we explore the importance of validation in relationships and how to successfully validate your partner (and yourself)! Later topics include: grief/loss, tackling the tit for tat, how to talk navigate finances as a partnership, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

For more content and resources, follow us on Facebook at @RelationshipsInsideOutllc!

Some resources related to this episode:
1. Coping With Insecurities in a Relationship
2. 4 Ways to Overcome Insecurity in Romantic Relationships
3. How to Stop Feeling Insecure
4. Where do my insecurities come from?

Have you ever wondered what it is like to work in the foster care system, foster a child, or how to support foster families in your community? Have you ever desired to help these children and families but aren’t sure where to start? 

The foster care system and the support needed for these families and children can be confusing to navigate, but Blair Wulfekuhl is here to offer guidance! Blair spent 12 years working the Child Welfare/Dependency Care System, before shifting her focus to children 0-5 in an early childhood program. Blair has also been a foster parent herself to multiple children, offering insights into multiple facets of the foster care system. Blair has a wealth of knowledge that we are eager to share!

Join us as we welcome our second guest, Blair Wulfekuhl, to provide the broad-brush strokes of all things foster care! Blair helped us understand the challenges of the foster care system, tips to prepare your family and marriage before bringing in a foster child, and tangible ways to offer support to other families fostering.

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! You can find us on Facebook at: @RelationshipsInsideOutllc!

Next Tuesday, we explore personal insecurities and how to manage these disruptive internal thoughts. Later topics include: validation, grief/loss, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

For more content and resources, follow us on Facebook at @RelationshipsInsideOutllc!

Some resources from our episode:
1. Blair Wulfekuhl contact: [email protected]
2. Parenting Resources for Foster Parents
3. The Parental Rights of Foster and Adopted Parents

Depression can feel like a boulder on your back, making even the smallest of tasks feel impossible. Depression tells us to isolate, hide away, and push away all that we love and enjoy. Depression steals our joy, replacing it with sadness, irritability, anger, guilt, shame, fatigue, and misery. Depression convinces us that we are a failure and burden on anyone we try to reach to. 

Depression can be incredibly challenging to overcome, but we want you to know you do not have to continue to suffer, especially alone. While almost all of us will go through periods of depression, the reasons and intensity drastically vary. In any case, depression is not a choice, nor is there a quick fix. That said, there are steps you can take to move through your depression or support your loved one or partner in this battle. Let us give you some guidance on how. 

Join us as we explore depression, including potential causes, the impacts it may have, and tangible tips to move through the journey of depression. We unpack how your marriage or partnership can either enhance your depression or be a source of support to overcoming this intense personal battle. 

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! You can find us on Facebook at: @RelationshipsInsideOutllc!

Next Tuesday, we invite Blair Wulfekuhl to join us to talk about the foster system, serving as a foster parent, and how to support foster families near you! Later topics include: battling personal insecurities, validation, grief/loss, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Some resources from this episode:
1. Relationship Depression: How to Cope
2. Exercise and Depression
3. How Mindfulness May Change the Brain in Depressed Patients
4. Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression
5. 800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Hotline) or text HELLO to 741741

Addiction. 

This word can bring up intense emotions and reactions, depending on your lived experiences. Many people have struggled with their own addiction or have loved and supported someone who struggles with addiction, often creating pain, fear, frustration, confusion, and relational damage. 

Have you ever wondered why some people struggle with addiction and others do not? Have you considered what makes it so difficult for people who are addicted to start the recovery process, and stay on that path? Do you have someone in your life, maybe even you, who is struggling with addiction, leading you to feel totally lost about next steps and ways to help or overcome it? Let us help support you through the start of this journey, breaking down why addiction can happen and some first steps on the road to recovery. 

Join us as we unpack the complex dynamics of addictions, offer some understanding of why an addiction may be present, how to balance supporting the addict with our own psychological needs, and best next steps for the road to recovery. Both the person who is addicted, as well as their loved ones deserve support from the start!   

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we deep dive into depression, including possible reasons for depression and tools to improve it. Later topics include: battling personal insecurities, self-acceptance, validation, grief/loss, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Some resources from this episode:
1. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration helpline
2. SMART recovery
3. Alcoholics Anonymous
4. Narcotics Anonymous
5. Recovering Couples Anonymous
5. Substance Abuse in Intimate Relationships

Did you know that sharpest decline in martial satisfaction and quality is correlated with the birth of our first child? Welcoming home a new baby can be full of bliss and baby cuddles, but it can also riddled with challenges, frustration, fear, loneliness, depression, anxiety, and fatigue. So, what do we do to reduce the risk of these painful outcomes and increase the chances of a positive experience in pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum? Tip: intentionally and mindfully build your birthing and postpartum team!

We highly suggest that you start with a birth doula, most notably, Julianne Curtis! Julianne is a certified birth doula, bereavement doula, certified lactation counselor, belly binding guru, and new parent educator here in Northern Colorado. She is absolutely incredible! As a doula, Julianne offers prenatal education, coaching before and during labor, bereavement support following infant loss or a rainbow baby, encouragement, guidance, partner support, and physical/emotional support. She is there to care for you and your partner every step of the way! 

Join us as we welcome our first guest, Julianne Curtis, to breakdown the transition to parenthood. We discuss tips and tricks to build a supportive birth team, strengthen your relationship connection before and after birth, increase sleep and self-care during the newborn stage, and effectively rally your support team in the ways you actually need. We all deserve loving support throughout life, especially with the births of our children! 

 If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, dive into the world of addictions, including substance abuse, gambling, gaming, sex, control, and more. We offer some understanding of why an addiction may be present, how to balance supporting the addict with our own psychological needs, and best next steps for the road to recovery.  Later topics include: navigating the transition into parenthood, depression, battling personal insecurities, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Some resources from this episode:
1.  juliannecurtis.com
2. bestillshortfilm.com
3. Fair Play cards
4. What is a doula?

Let’s face it. Every relationship hits a rut, a low spot, a point of disconnection. No relationship is without challenges and disagreement, not even yours. These are not signs that your relationship is broken or doomed in anyway, but rather are part of the natural peaks and valleys that every relationship experiences. Despite the challenges being natural, they can be frustrating and difficult to overcome. But you don’t have to face the challenges alone!

Much like a car, relationships need tune-ups over the course of time. We don’t just maintenance our car once it breaks down; we are *hopefully* engaging in regular maintenance to prevent being stranded on the side of the road. The same is true with our romantic partnerships. Couples who can seek support and have the tougher conversations regularly are less likely to need a major overhaul in the relationship later on. Couples therapy is just the place for that tune-up! Not only do couples therapists help in crisis, as we usually think about the purpose of couples therapy, but also in supporting couples through each transition, speedbump, lull, and disagreement. 

Join us as we breakdown the ins and outs of couples therapy, why couples therapy can be helpful for ALL partnerships, and important tips to find the best therapist for you and your partnership. You deserve to have a fulfilling, healthy, and connected relationship!   

If you find this episode, or any of our other episodes, helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]!

Next Tuesday, we bring on our first guest, Colorado Doula: Julianne Curtis, to talk about how to prep your relationship for the birth of your new baby, building lasting healthy habits to keep your marriage strong and connected even after this major transition. Later topics include: addiction, depression, battling personal insecurities, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Some resources on couples therapy:
1. 'What is Couples Therapy' 
2. What is a Marriage and Family Therapist and What Do They Treat?
3. How Marriage and Family Therapists the Same or Different than Other Mental Health Professions

Does your mind race without end? Does it feel like you worry about the big and the small practically daily? Do you struggle with large crowds, public speaking, meeting new people, or even getting a simple task done with concern that it won’t be good enough? Do you identify as a perfectionist? Do you worry how others are looking at you and judging you, sometimes preventing you from engaging in certain activities?  Do you have a hard time sleeping at night because your mind just won’t shut off? 

Say “Hello” to anxiety.

Anxiety is necessary in everyone’s lives. Yes, even for our calmest of friends. It gives us motivation to get out of bed and move through daily life. But, when anxiety takes over and grows out of control, it can be crippling, unmanageable, and an intense burden that feels almost impossible to overcome. You cannot choose anxiety, but you can choose to make it better or worse. Let us explain! 

Join us, Dr. Kimberly Murray and Dr. Greg Seibert, as we dive into anxiety, identifying warning signs that it may be growing out of control and tangible ways to make it better starting today (and no, we aren’t suggesting medication 😉). You deserve to have a calm mind, free from constant worry, doubt, concern, and nervousness!   

If you find any of our episodes helpful to you, please share with those that you love! Let us know what you think about what you want us to talk about next by emailing us at [email protected]! 

Next Tuesday, we breakdown the ins and outs of couples therapy, why couples therapy can be helpful for ALL partnerships, and important tips to find the best therapist for you and your partnership.  Later topics include: addiction, navigating the transition into parenthood, depression, battling personal insecurities, self-acceptance, compassion in couples, identifying needs vs. wants, boundaries, managing family relationships, and so much more!

Some resources to go along with this episode:

1. Warning signs of anxiety
2. Thought Log to help condition adaptive thoughts in response to intrusive thoughts
3. The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding technique
4. Anxiety Resource Center
5. How to Handle Relationship Anxiety