If you've ever seen a headline (one of mine or someone else's), "They did [this] and got [this]" you may have experienced a "transactional trigger". 

My motivation is to attract people who need transformation in their marriages. 

What I call "missional marketing", some may call "bait and switch", which is kind of true, too.

You may be someone who came for a certain outcome, but you listened and found out that to get that [thing], you have to change who you are - including your motivations.

For many, it works (by God's grace). 

But, initially, it may have triggered transactional thinking for you. 

This can lead you to believe that you’re guaranteed a certain result if you do [X] for your spouse. 

 

Here's what I hope for you. 

I hope that you'll start your journey with an expectation of an incredible marriage and sex life and end your journey with a completely different set of motivations: to love your spouse the way Jesus loves them. Unconditionally. 

Whether they do X or not, you get to love them the way Jesus does. 

 

The cool thing is...

Humans are designed to respond very differently to unconditional love. 

Humans heal. 

Humans let down their guard. 

Humans start to act differently when they know the rug won't be pulled out from under them at any moment. 

The desperation ends. 

Peace and freedom begin. 

And marriage can become pretty amazing. 

BUT your motivation should be to love your spouse unconditionally and enjoy--every moment--every smile--every laugh--every miscommunication--every peculiar habit--enjoy life alongside this wonderful God-designed being you get to love.

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS If you would like help in your marriage, we invite you to schedule a free Clarity Call with our course advisor.

We truly care about you and your marriage and this call will help us and you evaluate if we can help you in your marriage. Schedule a free Clarity Call here. For the free resources, click here.

 

PPS From a graduate:

"It has transformed my relationship with my wife and with my coworkers and those I supervise. It has given me tools to listen and pray better and got me into the habit of daily gratitude. Every married man, regardless of how healthy or unhealthy your marriage, will benefit from the MR [Masculinity Reclaimed] program."