Delight Your Marriage

Married (Sacred) Sex: Interview with Gary Thomas - Listener Favorite (Re-release) What if growing closer to God could also help you grow closer to your spouse? In this Listener Favorite re-release, Belah welcomes bestselling author and international speaker Gary Thomas for an honest conversation about faith, marriage, and sexual intimacy. Gary's books—including Sacred Marriage, Sacred Pathways, and Cherish—have helped readers explore spiritual growth and deeper relationships. His work draws on Scripture, church history, and Christian wisdom to encourage people toward greater love for God and one another. In this interview, they discuss Married Sex, which Gary coauthored with licensed counselor Debra Fileta. Together, their perspectives invite husbands and wives to understand and appreciate each other. Gary offers practical ideas: ask what your spouse enjoys instead of assuming; consider how music, scent, and touch shape connection; and build anticipation through what he calls "simmering"—preparing for intimacy before the moment arrives. They also explore barriers involving beliefs, emotional wounds, physical challenges, and creativity. Gary shares how noticing his wife's everyday sacrifices deepened his appreciation for her. As you listen, consider where you might be approaching your spouse with an expectation when a question would be more helpful. What haven't you asked lately? What effort have you noticed but haven't acknowledged? Sometimes a meaningful next step begins with helping your spouse feel seen. You don't need to turn the conversation into a list of things to fix. Choose one idea that catches your attention and share why it matters to you. Give your spouse room to respond, and look for something you would both welcome. After listening, try asking: "What is one way I could help you feel more cherished this week?" We hope this conversation encourages you to keep learning about each other and making room for connection.

At DYM we coach husbands and wives to transform their marriage even if only one does the work, but we encourage the husbands to go first.

With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team

Originally shared as Episode 325. (Ai helped summarize this podcast & shownotes)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent Academy program graduate: "My wife and I have been separated for 6 months, and the same day as our Academy graduation, she chose to and began moving back into our matrimonial home. I also told her about our Academy program that same day. Up until then, I had said I was attending a men's bible study. All praise be to God."

Jesus Was Kind, but He Didn't Care. Until...

Ben planned a date night by the pool. Charcuterie board, music, the whole thing.

And that night his wife told him: "If you don't change, I'm leaving."

Married 24 years. Four kids. A business owner who casts limestone mantles and is in his shop by 5:15 every morning. A man's man. On one of his first calls he told me, (amongst explitives) "I've never even apologized in my life... I don't know how to do this."

But Ben looked around and believed, his kids are worth it. His family's worth it. God is worth it.

This week he's on the podcast, and he said something I hope husbands stop and think about:

"She just wants me to be kind, and I'm like, 'You know what? For me to be kind, I have to care.' And for most of my life, I didn't care... And that's not a loving Savior."

Ben's view of God shifted from a harsh God who is just there to discipline and not much else, to Jesus, who is kind. And then his marriage started to change.

Christian marriage transformation became real for Ben when his wife told him something had to change.

In this episode you'll hear:

How a hard childhood taught him to shut down and walk away Why he finally understood what she meant by "You don't make me feel safe" and how that blocked everything Why he went through the program twice, and what finally broke through His blunt advice for the man who's where he was

Today? They're 180 degree different and they're completely different, because of his transformation.

Husband, you're the leader. When you change, everything in your marriage and family changes.

If you're thinking, "Belah, I don't need the episode. I need the coaching," we'd love to help. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

At DYM we coach husbands and wives to transform their marriage even if only one does the work, but we encourage the husbands to go first.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "I felt like I was living a lie, didn't like my husband yet I didn't really believe in divorce and didn't want the consequences of how that would affect our family. I suffer from abandonment issues and felt like I was abandoned especially in my marriage. I had Extreme Loneliness, felt unfulfilled, disappointment, resentment, always questioning God "why would you choose this for me" , "why cant you just fix this." [after coaching], "I never saw myself as a controlling nag, I just saw myself with the unlucky draw of a husband who thought only of himself. Now I feel like I won the lottery."

The Fatherhood Focus That Changes Everything with Brad Rhoads

"Most parents miss the joys of parenting trying to be a good parent."

That's what Brad Rhoads's mentor told him. And it wrecked him in the best way.

Brad's a father of five. Married to Marilyn for 30 years. He ran a law practice for 22 years before launching Grace Marriage (gracemarriage.com), a ministry that equips churches with ongoing marriage support.

But fatherhood? He'll tell you he was overcomplicating it. Diet, academics, activities, spiritual development, family worship. The list felt endless. And no matter how hard he tried, it never felt like enough.

Then his mentor said something that shifted everything: "Brad, just make it your mission that your children feel delighted in. That they feel there's nobody in the world that likes them more than you."

Not 800 things. One thing. Delight.

And here's what happened: one of his daughters told him, "Dad, a lot of dads spend time with their kids, but I can tell you actually want to."

That's the fruit of delight. Not perfection. Not checking every parenting box. Just a kid who knows her dad likes her.

I'll add, since Brad, a man of genuine integrity, graciousness, and generous character likes his kids, they WANT to be like him.

It reminds me of God and the way he loves us. When we believe we are delighted in, we are drawn to love and delight Him even more!

Husband, if the enemy's been whispering that you're a terrible father, this episode is for you. Delight changes everything.

He also says the number first thing you need to be a great dad, is to be a great husband.

At DYM we coach husbands and wives to transform their marriage even if only one does the work, but we encourage the husbands to go first.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "I thought things were great in our relationship" [after coaching] "I didn't know that this program could take our relationship to an even better level. I didn't know that there was still room to fall even more in love or be more grateful and close with my husband."

Here is an AI-generated summary of today's episode:

The Fatherhood Focus That Changes Everything: Interview with Brad Rhoads

What if fatherhood didn't have to feel like drowning? Brad Rhoads, father of five, married 30 years, former attorney, and founder of Grace Marriage, sits down with Belah to share the one shift that transformed his parenting: making delight primary. His mentor called parenting "the modern-day black hole" and gave Brad a single mission: make sure your kids feel like nobody in the world likes them more than you. In this episode, Brad unpacks how that one phrase changed how he spends time with his kids, how he handles the hard seasons, and why the best thing a father can do for his children is love their mom well.

"Parenting Is the Modern-Day Black Hole"

Brad's mentor laid it out: the good diet, the activities, the music, the academics, the spiritual development, the family worship. "He said just like, ugh." The pressure to be a perfect parent is crushing, and it often backfires.

"Most parents miss the joys of parenting trying to be a good parent. They feel this weight to really be a good, godly parent, but then their kids don't even necessarily feel like their parents like them."

The mentor's counsel was simple: "Just enjoy your kids, and ultimately whoever's kindest will have the most influence."

Make Delight Primary

Brad shifted from analyzing everything to having fun with his kids. Not throwing discipline out the door, but flipping the priority. "I find that those that make discipline primary, it tends to cause rebellion."

The more he did stuff his kids wanted to do, the more he liked them, and the more he wanted to spend time with them. It became a virtuous cycle.

"Whoever likes you the most is who you're gonna wanna spend time around. And if you can tell somebody really wants to spend time with you, really enjoys their time with you, really thinks you're cool, really is into what you're doing, you're gonna be like, 'I kinda like that person.'"

The Power of Pursuit

Brad built simple, consistent rhythms: one morning a week breakfast with each kid (often McDonald's or Huddle House), one overnight a year with each child, and activities tailored to each kid's interests. One daughter loves the NFL, so they go to a different venue every year. Another got into golf, and it's now Brad's primary time with her.

"The beauty of golf is if it's somebody you wanna pour into, golf takes a long time. And you're sitting beside somebody."

He's also seen what happens when pursuit comes too late. Friends who tried to start breakfast dates with their high school kids found them uninterested. "They weren't into it. Dad just wasn't one of them." The relational capital wasn't there because other sources of influence showed more interest than Dad did.

"Even if you get a no, it's still important to pursue. Your closest friends are the friends that pursue you the most."

Strict Boundaries at Work

Brad made a non-negotiable decision: home by 5:00 or 5:30 every day. At the law practice, if he had to ask for an extension to make that happen, he did. His uncle reinforced the culture: "If he saw me working at 6:00, 7:00 at night, he'd be like, 'What are you doing here? Go home, you idiot. You have a wife at home.'"

At Grace Marriage, the standard is the same. Brad tells every team member: "If you don't feel like you're drawing closer to Jesus and closer to your spouse because you work here, I feel like I'm failing you as a leader."

His conviction: "If something's gonna take a hit, I don't want it to be my wife or kids. If something requires my wife or kids to take a hit, I'm gonna have to find something else."

Work Less, Bring More Value

Through business coaching (Strategic Coach), Brad learned to measure value to the organization, not time spent at the organization. He got his work week down to 28-30 hours while bringing two to three times the value.

The key was identifying his unique ability and delegating the rest. At Rhoads & Rhoads, he was spending 20 hours on legal research he hated when 20 hours with referral sources was a 10X difference in value. "The person doing the legal research actually enjoyed doing the legal research. I didn't. It made me a worse husband."

For business owners: "There's a real opportunity in business skill to use your skills such that you have a ton of time with your wife and kids."

When a Kid Doesn't Like You

Brad shared one of his hardest parenting seasons: a daughter who seemed bothered by his very presence. "If I said hello it almost made her angry." Questions in the car were met with irritation. "How was your day?" got "Would you stop?" and "Who'd you hang out with?" got "Friends you don't know."

Multiple factors contributed: a move, a sibling leaving for college, a school change. Brad read Five Love Languages of Teenagers by Gary Chapman twice and leaned into the book's encouragement: don't get frustrated, keep pursuing, listen, correct as little as you can.

"By God's kindness, we played nine holes yesterday, and it was good."

Delight as a Conduit to God

Brad connected the parenting shift to theology: "God delights in you. God looks at you and says, 'Wow, I'm really pleased. I'm for you.' When you show you delight in your kids, it's a conduit to show that they're delighted in by God."

Kids who feel delighted in perform out of desire, not pressure. They want to rise to the occasion because they feel filled, not because they're chasing approval. "I don't think any parent wants their kids to feel like they're always just falling a little bit short. A lot of parents unintentionally do that."

And yes, there are still standards. Brad told his son headed to college: "I'm not funding idiot. If you wanna work hard and do this, I'll pay for your college. But money comes with strings."

Different Parenting Styles as a Gift

Brad and Marilyn used to frustrate each other. She's detail-oriented: diet, academics, church, scripture. He's fun, spontaneous, full of levity. For a while, Brad felt like Marilyn made their house heavy and frustrating. Marilyn told him, "Brad, when you're a parent, you actually have to parent."

The breakthrough: "Our kids don't need two Marilyns and our kids don't need two Brads. Together we're perfect." He even told their adult kids: "Your mom over-parents and I under-parent. Together we're perfect."

When Brad messed up recently (too strong with one of his daughters), Marilyn came with compassion first, understanding, support, and respect, then gentle guidance: "You probably ought to ask for her forgiveness for being a little too strong." He felt fully supported, not attacked.

Marriage Comes First

"If you're a dad and you're not showing your kids how to love a spouse well, you're not being a good dad."

Brad and Marilyn went on a date once a week through all five kids. He told them: "I'm leaving you tonight because I wanna be a good dad, and I can't be a good dad without loving your mom well. I can't love your mom well without spending time with your mom."

His warning: "Child-centered, youth-centered society is absolutely crushing marriage. Husbands feel ignored. Wives feel unloved. All the attention goes to the kids. And God designed marriage to come first, horizontal relationship-wise. When you violate God's order, everything breaks down."

Grace, Not Condemnation

Brad's encouragement for any dad feeling like a failure: "You're probably not failing all the time. You just feel like you are." God was a perfect parent, and Adam still fell. There's no perfect parent.

"Romans 8:1: there's no condemnation in Christ Jesus. My hope is in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's not being the perfect parent."

And when you're fatigued and feeling like a failure, delight is really hard. That's why the gospel has to be the foundation, not your performance.

Connect with Brad

• Grace Marriage: gracemarriage.com
• Grace Marriage equips churches with ongoing, proactive marriage ministry, not crisis response, but a wellness model that helps couples grow year after year.

If you're ready to get aligned in your marriage and moving toward shared purpose, we'd love to walk with you. Book a clarity call and let's talk.

He thought his wife was the problem. A lawnmower ride changed everything.

Zack was frustrated. Confused. Married 22 years with four kids, no big crisis, no infidelity, no blowups. Just a slow, quiet drift that left him on his mower wondering, "Does my wife really love me?"

She kept saying, "I don't feel emotionally connected to you." He had no idea what that even meant. And she couldn't really put words to it either. So it just sat there. This unnamed thing between them.

He started searching. Podcasts. Resources. Most weren't Christian-based. Then he asked AI for the best Christian marriage shows and DYM came up top three. He started listening on the mower and something hit him: "How does this lady know what men want and what men are thinking? She's in my brain."

So naturally, he started sending episodes to Kim. Translation: "Hopefully this lady will fix you."

He'll tell you that himself. He signed up for the program thinking it would change his wife. But God had a very different plan.

Zack went from frustrated and confused to a man who knows how to love his wife well, lead spiritually, and stay connected. He's staying in the graduate program because he found real brotherhood and he doesn't want to go back to who he was.

Zach's Christian marriage transformation began when he realized the biggest change his marriage needed might need to start with him.

If you're on your mower right now (or some other place), feeling that disconnect and wondering if things can actually change: they can. But it starts with you. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

At DYM we coach husbands and wives to transform their marriage even if only one does the work, but we encourage the husbands to go first.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "Feeling disconnected/lonely at times. Things were good in general but it felt like if we were on autopilot. There was emotional pain/hurt, feeling dissatisfied even though there is and was a lot to be grateful for." [after coaching] "I'm more grateful, closer connected to God, less defensive and more tender with my lovely wife. On one hand the personal growth in becoming the man God wants me to be (as a husband and father). On the other hand the various delights that I gifted my wife (big and small, like parasailing in Italy, a night away together to celebrate our 12-year anniversary, lots of family activities). My wife expressing her gratitude."

Unified in Future Planning for Your Marriage: Interview with Brad and Deidre King

Brad's a financial planner. Spreadsheets, formulas, five-year plans. That's his world.

Deidre? Her life goal at 18 was to marry Brad. Done. Next dream? Mission field. Adoption. A farm. Big, wild, beautiful dreams...

You can imagine the tension.

He's thinking: "Is this just a dream, or am I actually supposed to take action on this?"

She's thinking: "Don't you dare kill this dream."

But here's what happened over 25 years of marriage: Brad learned to put feet to Deidre's dreams. And Deidre learned to appreciate the power of a plan. Together, they adopted three kids from Guatemala and Ethiopia, built a farm, and launched two businesses that serve people through financial planning and life planning.

The secret? They learned to see each other's strengths instead of criticizing each other's gaps. Deidre has a core value of generosity. Brad has a core value of stewardship. The enemy would love to make her see him as stingy and him see her as wasteful. But when you name those values and honor them? You multiply your kingdom impact.

This week's episode is a conversation with Brad and Deidre King, and honestly, it might be one you listen to with your wife. It's about getting on the same page with finances, with dreams, with purpose, and with God's plan for your family.

One more thing Brad said that I love: "God, what do you want me to know about this situation? And what do you want me to do about it?" Two questions. Every day. That's the balance between planning through just our flesh/skill/effort even our gifting, and walking out your gifting by the Spirit.

If you're ready to get your marriage aligned and moving in the same direction, we can help. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

DYM coaches husbands and wives to transform their marriage even if only one does the work -- but we encourage the husbands to go first.

Blessings,

Belah

God bless,

DYM Team

(AI helped write and summarize Belah's podcast's content)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS -Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "My wife and I struggled to get along, have normal conversation (Planning, catching up, connecting) without it leading to an argument. We were so intimately disconnected that it led to months of no sexual intimacy or a desire for sex from her. We went over a year without sex and it was so painful. We constantly fought about any and everything."[after coaching] "One of the greatest celebrations has been having sex again! And enjoying it! We have sex at least once a week and it has been so wonderful. It is intimate and we are growing in knowing each other in new ways."

I talk to men every single week often they tell me their good intentions: "She was in pain and I was there. I was present."

And I have to applaud them, because that's certainly a win! But I do want to encourage them that presence without words is not enough.

Your silence when she's hurting isn't neutral. Unfortunately, it can feel like you don't care. She may even worry that you're judging her. Sadly, she may even feel that her heart doesn't matter to you.

I don't think that's what you mean. I think you may just not know what to say. It can feel awkward and risky and you don't want to look stupid.

But here's the thing: Jesus wasn't silent. He spoke. He served people with His words. Not to perform. Not to impress. To help them.

So here are the words I often invite men to say. It might be worth you writing these down:

"Honey, how are you feeling?" "That seems really hard. How are you doing?" "Is there anything you want to share?"

Yes, it'll feel awkward. Yes, she might not respond the way you hope. But what you just communicated is: I care about your heart.

Do it again next week. And the week after. It compounds.

And if you've been wrong, don't just change the behavior. Use words -- don't be silent. I encourage you to apologize. And I invite you to be specific. Own it.

Character is revealed more by what you repent of -- even than what you do (Dallas Willard).

Silence after conviction isn't golden. It can actually be cowardice wearing a mask. I know I've been there more than I'd like to admit.

Listen to this week's episode. Then, say words to show you care.

And if you're a graduate ready to get back in the game, Proactive launches with a special graduate kickoff. Discounted price disappears September 10th.

Brand new? delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Blessings, DYM Team (we used ai to summarize her podcast)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "My wife would punch her card occasionally thinking it was her duty to perform, which made it worse for both of us. We had slowly lost connection and focus on one another. Life including family, work and ministry took focus on our time and our lives. We were doing everything for everybody else and found ourselves absent of time for each other."[after coaching] "Awareness, understanding, joy, health, compassion, intimacy and godliness Growth of myself and our relationship. Seeing the beauty in my bride. Pursuing it with vigor and not worrying about vulnerability and getting shot down. The program in itself was a major celebration."

I was on the phone with a friend the other day, crying over a broken promise. Someone I trusted deeply said they'd do something significant, and after many assurances, they didn't.

So yeah. I cried.

And my friend let me. She didn't rush me. She didn't fix me. She just held space.

But here's the thing: I didn't stay there.

A mutual friend, a previous client, had said something really powerful about me. And I thought, if he sees that in me, I'm not going to sit here and wallow. I got up and went to the gym.

Feel your feelings. Then get up and grow.

That's what I'm talking about in this week's episode. Because I think a lot of us, especially men who are going through hard things in marriage, either stuff the feelings down (which rots you from the inside) or stay stuck in victim mode (which makes you completely unproductive).

Neither is Jesus' way.

He cried. He was moved to compassion. He wasn't afraid of His feelings. But He didn't let them dictate His wisdom, His choices, or His values.

The Bible says: "Get angry, but don't sin."

Paul said from prison: "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice."

If he can say that in chains, you and I can say it in our context too.

Listen to this week's episode and then do this: Write down the habits that are hard for you. Not the easy ones, those are already on autopilot. The hard ones. Put them on your fridge. Let your family see you push yourself. Be humble. Be a role model. Be a gangster.

And if you need some people in your corner to help you get there, that's exactly what we built Proactive for. It's our brand new accountability cohort, launching now for graduates, cart closes September 10th.

You're more than a victor in Christ. Now walk in it.

God bless,

Belah Rose

Delight Your Marriage (AI helped write this email)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "Coming into the program I was in a spiral of self-loathing, disappointment in myself and my marriage, feeling unloved, and having serious doubts about whether my journey should include my wife any longer. I was unhappy and probably put myself into a self-induced depression." [after coaching] "I am now much more mindful that God wants me to be more attractive to my wife inside and out. It is on me to have the discipline to make that real. I have the freedom, power, and gifts of abilities from him to do this."

They were in ministry together for decades. Everyone thought they had a great marriage. Behind closed doors? Roommates. Disconnected. (Rare) duty sex. No affection. No real intimacy in years. Then Jody looked at David after a premarital counseling session he was leading and said: "You're a hypocrite." He didn't just hear her. He heard God through her. David joined Masculinity Reclaimed. Jody followed into Delighted Wife weeks later. Both changed 180 degrees. Today, they cuddle every night, truly "make love" for the first time in years, resolve conflict in minutes, and are living what they preach day in and day out, after 40 years together. Jody said through tears: "I didn't think we were gonna finish well. And we're gonna finish well." If you're living a life of quiet desperation in your marriage, there's hope. Even if you're a pastor or ministry leader. Maybe you know someone. Pastor David and Jody had friends that took the courage to share -- maybe you're called to simply send this to someone who needs hope -- or inspiration that God is still healing marriages even after 40 years! Take the first step. God bless, Belah Rose Delight Your Marriage (AI helped write this email)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [before coaching], "Here I was a hypocrite ministering to others in pre marriage counseling. I was providing principles and practices for others while neglecting the most important person in my life. I was at the point that I couldn't see her beauty, and I neglected seeing who she was in Gods eyes."[after coaching] "It had to begin with me. I had to change my ethos and take responsibility for owning where we had drifted to. Change had to begin with myself first. God would never give me more that I can handle...I needed to take the reigns and cause the ship to be aright. The incarnational reality of God in us really manifested within me. God was not angry with my wife, why should I be. God saw my wife's beauty, how come I couldn't see it."

Is the 50% Divorce Rate a Myth? You've probably heard this your entire life: "50% of marriages end in divorce." It's repeated so often that most of us don't even question it. But what if it's not actually true? I recently interviewed social researcher and bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn, and she shared something I think every married person should hear. Years ago, Shaunti went looking for the actual divorce rate because she wanted to cite it accurately in an article. She assumed she'd find something around 50%. Instead, she started looking through Census Bureau statistics and other major data sources and realized: The numbers weren't matching the story we've all been told. And this isn't just an interesting statistics lesson. Because what we believe about marriage matters. It can be the difference of giving up versus working towards what scripture teaches. Shaunti explained that one of the most important differences between couples who make it through difficult seasons and those who don't is often something surprisingly simple: Hope versus futility. If you believe: "This is hard, but we can get through it," you keep trying. But if you believe: "Marriages usually fail anyway. Ours probably will too," eventually you start wondering why you should keep fighting for it. That's why inaccurate marriage statistics can actually be dangerous. In this conversation, Shaunti and I also unpack: • Where the "50% divorce rate" idea actually comes from • Why some legitimate studies can still create misleading conclusions • Why a huge sample size doesn't necessarily mean a study represents everyone • How the wording of a survey question can change the answers people give • What Shaunti's research found about how happy most marriages actually are • One simple mindset that shows up again and again in the happiest marriages That last one was particularly powerful: Learning to believe the best about your spouse's intentions. Your spouse may genuinely hurt you or get something wrong without actually wanting to hurt you. That distinction can change an enormous amount. If marriage has felt discouraging—or if you simply want a more accurate picture of what the research actually says—I think this conversation will give you a tremendous amount of hope. And remember: Your marriage is not doomed because of a statistic. By God's grace, transformation may be far more possible than you think. God bless, Belah Rose Delight Your Marriage (AI helped write this email)

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

PPS - Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.

PPPS - Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say: [after coaching], "In intentionality, choosing to make deliberate decisions to act lovingly, even when I don't feel like it. In gratitude, finding so many reasons to be thankful for my husband that I never saw before. In communication, putting the duct tape on is one of my new sayings to myself, trying to not complain and mother and control (my 3 biggest assets LOL) Growing In appreciation for the effort he is putting forward for me gives me a whole new appreciation that is hard to put in words."