Delight Your Marriage

Sometimes Christians speak about the body as though it barely matters.

As though spiritual growth and physical stewardship are completely separate things.

But Scripture paints a very different picture.

God created your body intentionally.

Jesus came in a body. Jesus rose in a body. And one day, we will receive glorified bodies.

Your body matters to God.

In this episode, Justin Roethlingshoefer (Own It Show, The Power of Ownership) explained how many people live disconnected from their bodies entirely.

Ignoring exhaustion. Ignoring stress. Ignoring burnout. Ignoring emotional pain.

Until eventually the body begins sounding alarms we can no longer ignore.

Anxiety. Fatigue. Autoimmune struggles. Hormonal issues.

And often we wonder: "Why is this happening to me?"

But perhaps sometimes the better question is: "Have I been stewarding what God entrusted to me?"

Not from condemnation, but from invitation.

Because God is not trying to shame you.

He is inviting you into abundant life.

And at the center of that invitation is identity.

Justin shared that for years, he believed his worth came from achievement and performance.

But God taught him that he did not need to earn what had already been freely given through Christ.

You do not have to prove your value. You already have value.

And from that secure identity, you can begin making decisions that honor the life and body God has given you.

And when you care for your body fully, you can also show up for the things God has for you fully.

We hope this episode blesses you!

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team (Shownotes written with AI assistance)

PS - Want to learn more about Justin and his work? Check out his website at https://justinroethlingshoefer.com/. His books are available at here and his newest book, Holy Health, is set to release this August. We are excited about it! Thank you again, Justin, for your insights and for being on the show!

PPS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? We want to help. Schedule a free Clarity Call at https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPPS - Here is what a recent Coaching Graduate had to say: "DYM has shown me that change for my marriage start with changing myself. Through Belah's videos its abundantly clear that I am the one that needs change but these changes are only possible through Christ and his grace and desire to see me have a relationship with him first and then allow him to present me again to my wife as the man of God she has always wanted to be with."

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Delight Your Marriage is dedicated to helping married couples discover true intimacy and helping heal emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy--biblically.

For the last 10 years, through our practical tools, group coaching, and podcast, we have seen hundreds of marriages transformed- from couples who were on their way to signing divorce papers to couples who had pretty good marriages but just wanted to connect more.

We are honored to get to walk alongside men & women as they become who God created them to be and see their marriages transformed in the process.

If you'd like to learn more about us and our programs, please visit https://delightyourmarriage.com/

Want more on-the-go content? Follow us on Facebook for insightful clips and marriage coaching insights.

Catch up on the podcast on our YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@delightyourmarriage) or your favorite podcast streaming platform.

Ready to take the leap and do the work to heal your marriage? We'd love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call here: https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc

Thank you for listening and God bless!

Maybe intimacy in your marriage doesn't look the way you thought it would.

Maybe there are physical limitations. Health challenges. Pain. Insecurity. Lack of desire. Aging. Shame.

Or just a deep sadness that things don't feel the way they "should."

And maybe, quietly, you've wondered: Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with us? Are we just broken?

This episode is for the husband or wife who feels discouraged, different, or alone in this area of marriage.

Let this be an encouragement that intimacy is more than what we often make it out to be.

It is about unity. Tenderness. Connection. Loving your spouse well in the ways you are able.

If you feel unseen or forgotten by God in this area, this is a reminder that God sees you.

You are not forgotten. You are not beyond hope. And you are not strange or weird for wanting help in this area.

This may be a real suffering in your marriage—but suffering is not proof that God has abandoned you.

He can use even this tender, painful place to grow humility, love, compassion, and deeper unity.

God bless you!

Love, The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - If you're ready to take the next step in healing your marriage, schedule a free Clarity Call. Get some insight into the health of your marriage and what the right next step is for you.

PPS - For more information on the accessories mentioned in today's episode, please visit our website.

PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "The biggest marital struggle that I was feeling was a lack of connection within physical intimacy. There was also a lack of trust and feeling safe to genuinely be ourselves in different areas. It was hard to communicate without the other person taking offense, switching the subject or shifting the focus, etc. and it just made it hard to grow in a lot of areas...[Because of DYM], I've been able to truly shift my priorities to just focus on myself in the terms of how can I love my wife the way that God intended me to...[Intimacy has] been happening so much more than in the past, but more importantly, it's been meaningful, fulfilling, and it's being enjoyed without fear of strings being attached or tension from expectations..."

Can we give you an encouragement today?

Just because your marriage has felt cold… Disconnected… Tense… Or emotionally distant for years…

Does not mean that's how it has to stay.

In today's episode, a wife recently shared that for years, her husband told her he didn't feel respected — and honestly? She truly didn't understand what he meant.

Not because she didn't love him. Not because she was trying to hurt him. But because no one had ever taught her what respect actually looks like to a husband.

And over time, little hurts built up. Distance built up. Frustration built up.

She described herself as becoming colder toward affection — even non-sexual touch felt difficult.

But instead of staying stuck, she decided to ask God to change her. She humbled herself and leaned in.

And slowly, things changed.

Her husband began saying things like: "I finally feel respected." "I finally feel seen." "I finally feel like you get it."

Yes, that's possible.

When we begin loving our spouse the way God designed them to receive love, something softens. Peace enters places that used to feel tense. Hope returns.

If you know something in your marriage needs a revamp… If you're tired of repeating the same painful patterns… If you long for emotional, spiritual, and physical connection again…

We would love to walk alongside you.

Love, The Delight Your Marriage Team (Shownotes created with AI assistance)

PS - Do you have an area in your marriage that is ready for a revamp? Schedule a free Clarity Call and bring back the joy and connection in your marriage: https://delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "I absolutely love how biblically and psychologically grounded and how thorough this program is. It is the best marriage discipleship program I've ever done and I so appreciate the time, love and thought that Belah and her team have put into DYM...I've been able to experience more joy, I'm a lot more relaxed, and I'm able to be an encouragement to others. I have a happier home as well and feel a lot more supported in my walk with God."

All Your "Godly" Accomplishments Are Nothing?

What if you could "win" in every area of life… and still lose the things that matter most?

Because according to Jesus, success isn't measured by productivity, influence, money, ministry titles, or getting more done than everyone else.

It's measured by love.

"Love is patient and kind…" (1 Corinthians 13)

That means our marriages matter.

Our tone matters.

The atmosphere in our home matters.

The way we treat our spouse and children matters.

This episode is for driven husbands (and honestly, anyone with a high-achieving personality) who may be unintentionally sacrificing tenderness, emotional safety, and connection on the altar of accomplishment.

You do not have to keep living rushed, impatient, emotionally disconnected, or spiritually distracted.

Jesus can teach you another way.

A slower way. A gentler way. A truly strong way.

And it may be the very thing your marriage and family are longing for most.

God bless you, Belah (Used AI to draft shownotes from Belah's show.)

PS - Don't wait. Take the next step. Schedule a free Clarity Call and start your journey to a healed marriage.

PPS - What is your Marital Health score? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out.

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: I came into the program scoring very low in our marital health. I was very discouraged... This was leading me to moments of intense anguish, embarrassment, anger and a quiet desperation.

Joining DYM has given me space to process how we got to this place in our marriage. I have a lot of insight into how we got to where we were...I have hope where I didn't have hope. We are now a 7 or so in our marital health. I feel much less embarrassed, and far more content in our marriage than I did when we began.

From Tolerating to Delighting: Marriage Transformation Is Possible (feat. Gary Thomas & Belah Rose) Imagine this: Your husband is working nights and you are cleaning houses during the day. When you find out you are pregnant, you pursue a dream of writing a book. Every morning you walk to the coffee shop just down the street to write. One of your favorite things to do is listen to books about marriage. One of your favorite books on the topic is written by Gary Thomas. In his book, Sacred Marriage, he asks, "What if marriage is meant to make us holy instead of happy?" Now, fast forward just a few years. You are having a conversation with that author, and he tells you he is a fan of your work. Fast forward a couple more years, and you get to be mentored by this same author. Eventually, it becomes evident that he and I can help more couples by joining forces and creating a collaboration where he shares his wisdom through books and speaking, and you are able to provide coaching and accountability for people after they read the books or attend the conferences. That is the story I am sharing with you today as I announce a collaboration with Gary Thomas, bestselling author and speaker. In this episode, we share how God truly has a plan for your marriage. He is the one who changes lives, and we have been able to see that in both of our work. I want to encourage you that God can take your loaves and fishes and do something amazing. He can take your willingness. He can take your bit of faith, and He can make a marvelous tapestry for His glory. Just yesterday, we had two amazing graduations. Both individuals were changed themselves. And their spouse changed in response, though their spouses did not do the work. That can be your story, too. We would love to witness God perform that miracle through biblical principles made practical on the inside. Listen to today's podcast to understand Gary's heart and mine regarding the work we do, and now do together. Thank you, Gary, for the honor! And thank you, listener, for your love, support, and prayers. I am honored to be able to serve in this way and am trusting God for more healed hearts. God bless you, Belah

PS - Marriage Transformation is real. Schedule a free Clarity Call and start your journey to a playful, peaceful, purposeful marriage.

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: My wife and I struggled to get along...We were so intimately disconnected that it led to months of no sexual intimacy...it was so painful. We constantly fought about any and everything...I had gone into various counseling programs, spiritual formations, soul care, discipleship...But nothing was really changing our relationship... [Now,] God is answering my prayers and faith is becoming a reality. She is opening up, sharing her thoughts and feeling safe and connected...She is trusting me again...[We] have been having sex again...I am in such a better place and praise God for leading me to Belah and DYM.

Here is an AI-generated summary of today's episode:

A New Christ-Centered Partnership for Marriage Transformation

Gary Thomas and Belah Rose announce a meaningful new collaboration between Gary's marriage ministry work and Belah's ministry, Delight Your Marriage. Their shared desire is to help marriages be healed, strengthened, and transformed for the glory of God.

Belah Rose's Story: From Brokenness to Marriage Ministry

Belah shares how her own painful first marriage, divorce, and season away from Jesus shaped her calling. After experiencing healing through Christ and through the love of her husband, Darrow, she became passionate about helping others avoid the pain she had walked through.

Her heart for Delight Your Marriage was born from the realization that marriage can either deeply wound or deeply heal—and that intimacy is often a powerful catalyst in that process.

Why One Spouse Can Still Make a Difference

A major theme of the conversation is that transformation can begin with just one spouse doing the work.

Gary and Belah emphasize that this is not about blame or manipulation. Instead, it is about reclaiming God-given influence, loving your spouse as an act of obedience to Christ, and allowing God to change the atmosphere of the marriage.

Understanding How Men and Women Receive Love Differently

Belah explains the Delight Your Marriage framework for helping spouses love each other well.

For wives, the focus is often helping them feel:

Safe Known Wholeheartedly cherished

For husbands, the focus is often helping them feel:

Respected Admired Wholeheartedly intimate

Gary affirms that while every person is unique, there are real patterns in how men and women often experience love, safety, respect, and intimacy.

Rebuilding Intimacy Without Pressure or Manipulation

Gary and Belah address the pain of sexless, disconnected, or emotionally distant marriages. They explain that true intimacy is not about obligation or pressure, but mutual joy, desire, safety, and love.

Belah shares that many spouses come into the program wanting change in intimacy, but through the process, their motivation becomes deeper: loving their spouse well because they love God.

Real Stories of Marriages Being Restored

Belah shares several powerful examples of transformation, including:

A couple who had gone 10 years without intimacy and experienced renewed connection after three months of doing the work.

A wife whose husband had been checked out through video games, but who became more engaged, responsible, and affectionate after she changed her approach.

A husband whose wife had been emotionally cold and distant, but who later began coming toward him with affection, conversation, and intimacy.

Hope for Marriages That Feel Dead and Buried

Gary and Belah are honest that not every marriage has a guaranteed outcome, especially when divorce, abuse, abandonment, or unsafe dynamics are involved.

But they also emphasize that God can resurrect marriages that seem completely hopeless. Through Christ, practical tools, humility, and accountability, many couples have experienced healing they never thought possible.

What Happens on a Clarity Call

Belah explains that the first step is a free Clarity Call. During the call, a trained advisor listens deeply to the person's story, prays for them, and helps identify what may be at the root of the marital struggle.

From there, some people are invited to a Program Discovery Call to discern whether coaching is the right next step.

Why Accountability Matters in Marriage Growth

Gary explains that books, conferences, and resources can be helpful, but many people need someone to walk with them personally.

Belah shares that Delight Your Marriage offers coaching, structure, small-group support, prayer, and accountability so participants are not trying to change alone.

Help for Good Marriages That Want to Become Great

The program is not only for marriages in crisis. Belah explains that even strong marriages can have hidden "leaks"—small areas where connection, intimacy, communication, or delight could become stronger.

Sometimes a marriage that seems good can become far better than either spouse knew was possible.

Support for Pastors, Missionaries, and Ministry Marriages

Belah and Gary also discuss the importance of supporting pastors, missionaries, and ministry couples. Many leaders feel isolated in their marriage struggles, and Delight Your Marriage offers a private, Christ-centered place to receive help.

Belah shares that scholarships are available for some full-time ministers.

Special Invitation for Gary Thomas's Audience

To celebrate the partnership, Belah shares a special offer for Gary Thomas's audience. Those who sign up and share that they were referred by Gary Thomas can receive $500 or more in savings if they sign up for a Clarity Call and coaching before May 15.

Final Encouragement: There Is Real Hope for Your Marriage

Gary and Belah close with a message of hope. A painful marriage does not have to stay the same. A distant marriage can become connected again. A marriage that feels dead can be revived by the power of Jesus.

The invitation is simple: take the next step, begin with a Clarity Call, and discover what God may want to heal.

Do We Call What is Holy "Sin" (and What is Sin "Holy")

When I was first a believer, I had a very strong view of what was right and what was wrong.

I had a sense that anything I was uncomfortable with was definitely wrong.

After a lot of of life…and sadly time away from Jesus…and God healing and redeeming my journey, I've come to realize that there are things I am uncomfortable with, but are not necessarily sin.

And there are things I am comfortable with that aren't sin necessarily.

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Quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate:

The program is great! I love the focus on self-growth, personal responsibility and spiritual practices that unlock God's love in our heart and the heart of our spouse. God truly used this program to change my life...

I have a softened heart toward my wife now. I desire to love her the way God desires. I went from a miserable and sexless marriage to a wonderful and passionate sex-filled marriage!

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Because you and I are not meant to be led by what's comfortable.

We are meant to be led by the word of God.

Today, I want to tackle some really important topics that will help, I think, clarify topics and themes that often trip Christians up.

And it makes people love each other less.

In your marriage. And your friendships. And your schools. And your workplace.

We want to be defining our life in our direction.

We do not want to be defining how we should behave and what we should do and what we should think simply because it's the opposite of what the world does.

We need to define ourselves by what God wants us to be doing.

So today, I'm hoping that when you listen, you will gain a level of freedom in your heart and thoughts that you maybe didn't have before listening.

Because God calls us to freedom.

In our relationships, in our thoughts, and in our hearts.

That's why he came to set us free.

And I want that for you.

Let's get into it.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Make the appointment today. Schedule a free Clarity Call (before Coaching prices increase!)

PPS - Here is a quote from another recent Coaching program graduate: My biggest marital struggle was resentment and poor communication. I was so unhappy. My husband is my best friend, and I didn't want to be around him or be intimate...[Now,] our communication is so much better.I learned to be vulnerable which showed him I trust him. In return he feels safe to be vulnerable with me.

Zero Intimacy for Almost a Decade, Husband & Wife Share Their Miracle

Ten years of no physical intimacy.

That is where husband & wife, Jim & Willa, found themselves.

For 38 years of marriage, Willa described her husband as a "my way or the highway" kind of guy. And up until recently, Jim felt so frustrated and angry in his marriage that he wanted to leave.

They were sleeping in separate bedrooms, had busy lives, he left before she woke up just to avoid her most days.

Jim shared they literally hadn't touched in years.

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Quote from a recent Coaching Program graduate:

"Week by week in this program, I've been taking an honest look at myself and owning the ways I've dropped the ball in our marriage. I've been working on making [my wife] feel safe, known, and cherished, and when things get tough, I've been fighting my old habit of pulling away by choosing to lean in instead.

I've been putting what I'm learning into practice—going from arguing almost every day to just a few times in the last six months, looking at my own heart first instead of blaming [my wife], and using the tools from MR so I'm not stuck feeling helpless when things aren't going well... I'm seeing real growth in how I love her and how we connect."

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They did a marriage program. It was good information, but by the end, it didn't help.

Jim was at the end of his rope. He decided that he was ready to leave.

When Willa suggested Delight Your Marriage, he essentially said: "I'll try it, but if this doesn't work, that's the end."

What shocked him was the change that took place between the two of them week by week.

He had to be willing to feel silly and do something new. She had to be willing to slow down enough to focus on her highest priority human.

They both had to humble themselves, roll up their sleeves, and do the work.

And the Lord changed everything.

Now they're connecting, laughing, hugging, and yes, even intimacy. In just a couple of months, they're enjoying the best connection they've ever had in 38 years.

Maybe it's also been a decade for you of no physical intimacy. Maybe it's been even longer. Maybe you haven't laughed together in years. Maybe you don't even like being in the same room together. We want you to know that you are not alone, and God is still working. Take this with you: No one is too far gone for God. No marriage is irredeemable. And He can bring delight to your marriage.

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!)

PPS - Here is a quote from another recent Coaching program graduate: "As I reflect back over this journey, I see how God has led me closer to Him. I have begun to understand what it means in Romans when Paul says; "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind….." Truly grasping the perspective that [my wife] is God's beautifully made daughter has changed everything for me. She is a blessing and a gift from the Lord….and my love for her today is so much greater than ever before... Thanks be to God for His abounding love. And thank you too Belah for your biblical passion, discernment, wisdom and courage to have this ministry."

You might be one who can work all day and feel great.

And maybe you struggle to take a vacation.

Maybe if you're really honest with yourself, you think productivity is next to godliness.

If you're like Brad and I -- that's us nodding our heads. We're just wired that way. That's not the end of the story...

But Brad had a mentor that wouldn't let go of him until he could see that drivenness is ruining his life.

Not the fact that he is driven (Brad didn't give that up), but the fact that he felt he wasn't enough unless he achieved X, Y, and Z.

Brad's marriage journey is pretty powerful and directly relates.

If Brad was more committed to his work than his wife -- she would feel betrayed. As many wives do who have this dynamic in their marriages.

Many out there sacrifice the possibility of peace and joy in their lives because they're too busy to notice the life Christ offers them.

God is sufficient.

God rested.

God delights in us -- you can delight in this world, and you can delight in those He intends for you to delight, your spouse and your children.

Let's abide in Him and learn from Brad as he shares these refreshing insights.

Find out more about Brad and his work with marriages in churches at gracemarriage.com

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!)

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "My contact with DYM has completely transformed my life. I was depressed, pessimistic, shackled by shame, and largely unaware of who I was and what effect I was having on my family.

Through the skills and habits I learned in DYM God has truly made me a new creation. I now look forward to each new day and have a deep, healing, life-giving relationship with God that has freed me from shame, depression, and self-loathing."

Today marks the day that God stooped so low to live a perfect life and die a gruesome sinner's death -- to save you. And save me.

Why?

Not because we were perfect.

Not because we could earn His love.

Who could earn that?

But because He decided we were worth it.

We aren't deserving of His sacrifice because we're so great -- it's because HE'S so great.

He's so good, kind, and gracious that He decided we were priceless to come and rescue.

And if you are priceless -- a prized treasure Jesus came to save...

Is your spouse?

If the answer is yes...

Are you treating your spouse like they are Jesus' prized treasure? Priceless in the eyes of the God of the Universe?

Do you believe they are?

In today's episode, I hope to remind you of how loved you are by the Lord.

And with that in mind, I hope you also remember how loved your spouse is.

May that encourage us to love each other better and with a fuller heart.

Blessings,

Belah

PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!)

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "My contact with DYM has completely transformed my life. I was depressed, pessimistic, shackled by shame, and largely unaware of who I was and what effect I was having on my family.

Through the skills and habits I learned in DYM God has truly made me a new creation. I now look forward to each new day and have a deep, healing, life-giving relationship with God that has freed me from shame, depression, and self-loathing."

Become the man your wife respects and desires again—before prices increase Book your Clarity Call now

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I'm speaking to a man who wants to fix things. He is not a whiner, complainer, or blamer. He's interested in taking responsibility and making things better. But if he's really honest with himself, sometimes he feels that his wife prioritizes the kids above him.

If you're in that category, I'd like to speak to you directly. You're right, it's not ok. This isn't a good dynamic. And if she's a Jesus-follower, it's also not biblical.

Ok.

Now that that's settled.

What do you do?

The thing you CAN control is yourself. You can update the lens by which you are evaluating the situation.

As a driven guy you know that if you do the same thing in business, you'll get the same results. But if you shift gears and do something else -- you'll see different results.

That's what I'm inviting you to do today. Shift gears. Try on a different set of lenses and see if God can change your marriage through you.

Let's go.

Here to see you win,

Belah

PS - Ready to take the next step in healing your marriage? Schedule a free Clarity Call today (before prices increase!): https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent Coaching program graduate: "I was living in a repeating cycle of expecting sex, not being fulfilled by it because of her lack of desire for me, being angry at her for not trying to connect with me in the relationship, holding it in for as long as possible, then trying to "fix it" by talking to her about it or lashing out at her..[Now,] The biggest celebration I have had would be my change in perspective…I have learned that as a husband and father it is up to me to set the tone in our family. I am now living in God's purpose and design and the pieces around me are falling into place. Realizing that it's not what happens around me but how I see it and react to it has been the biggest blessing from this course."