ResponseABLE Parenting

95% of moms feel guilty. And only 19% of dad's say they feel guilty about parenting. This episode shines a light on a few reasons why moms tend to feel more guilty than dads.

Guilt can be helpful when we have acted outside of our value system.

Guilt is not helpful when we believe that we are bad because of our actions. When guilt begins to shape the way we look at ourselves and becomes a leading force in our identity then guilt is without a doubt unhelpful.

We have been conditioned as women especially as mothers as to how we SHOULD act. And "should" lives next to shame. And when we don't operate exactly in that vision that is cast for us by society then we can feel judged, shame and guilty for not living up to the unrealistic expectations that have been presented to us.

As mentioned here is the Guilt Free Mini Course

For $7 you will get 7 videos and journal prompts to begin your journey of removing guilt from your life and parenting!

In this episode I break down something Sasha (from the interview in episode 37) said about why he respected his parents so much. And it came down to the fact that they spent so much time seeking to understand what was going on for him. They didn't come to the table with assumptions and past stories clouding their judgment of the present moment. Instead, they led with curiosity and really tried to understand what was going on for him in each challenging moment.

This type of parenting modeled to him what respect looked like. And monkey see monkey do - he now respects his parents ENDLESSLY!

It's a beautiful way to think about the way we show up! When we show up with curiosity and the desire to understand we are satisfying the primal need for connection, shortening the meltdowns, discovering the root of the behavior (the unmet need) and modeling what it looks like to show respect.

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts!

FREE GUIDES! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments.

COMMUNITY! The community is currently closed. Subscribe to the podcast and stay tuned for the next time the doors open :)

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

For the show notes:

MELTDOWN FREEBIE! https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown

In this episode I take the lessons we learned in episode 34 about how to engage our children differently so they are more ready, willing and able to collaborate with us, and I share how we as parents need to have these essential buckets filled as well.

I dive into the 4 buckets: Power / Control Connection / Attention Regulation Play

I share how we as parents can shift our mindset even if we cannot shift the structure of our days. I share how we can tune in and really show up for ourselves in a way that leads to more inner safety, less inner chaos and critique, which ultimately expands our tolerance. And when we have this expansion we can ultimately handle a lot more from our children.

When we attune to these 4 buckets regularly for ourselves we begin to embody this practice of responsive parenting.

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! MELTDOWN FREEBIE! https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown

In this episode I share about how this journey in responsive parenting isn't linear. And what it feels like when we take 2 steps back. I talk about what happens when we parent from fear and how we can compassionately bring ourselves back to the path we have chosen to walk on. I talk about how to shift your mentality and give yourself grace as you grow into the parent you desire to be.

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

For the show notes:

MELTDOWN FREEBIE! https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown

In this episode I interview a mother and son (almost 15 years old) about creating and growing up in a home that is focused on connection, understanding, curiosity and at the core unconditional love. From 6 months - 7 years old Sasha displayed "problematic behaviors" and was kicked out of almost every class, party and activity. He was labeled "weird" and "bad" by friends and some teachers. Today Sasha is one of the most emotionally intelligent kids I've met. He is kind, generous, a critical thinker, self aware and confident in his choices and personhood. Sasha has a beautiful outlook on life and relationships. Many parents future project from a place of fear that the challenging behavior of their small children IS who they are and they will become. Which leads us to reacting from a place of fear and trying to punish or shame away these behaviors so they don't become our children.

Sasha is a truly beautiful example of a grounded maturity that comes from being allowed to experience the entire range of human emotions and experiences. Sari (Sasha's mom) met him with curiosity, compassion, firm boundaries and a lot of empathy. She looked beneath the behavior and found out what was actually happening vs assuming she knew how to fix what was going on.

I am so thrilled for you all to listen to this. I know you will take a deep breath hearing her words. Enjoy :)

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

In this episode, I break down a comment from someone on social media who said to me "Oh, you're raising one of 'those'" in response to a reel I made on feelings. It made me think of how so many people are being triggered by the word "feelings" and so with all the triggering things, I wanted to dive in more!!

I talk about WHY feeling your feelings is essential to raising resilient adults who are emotionally stable in conflict or high pressure situations. And I go on to share further about two very critical steps that are often overlooked. When these are overlooked the pendulum swings way too far and we end up with permissive parenting and kids running the show. I share a wash, rinse, repeat cycle that you can implement today in order to start raising strong, resilient, emotionally stable children.

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment-free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

In this episode, I share how I came to the name ResponseABLE and why it resonated with me so much that I decided to build my whole business around it. When I look at the word "responsible" it's about being accountable and reliable but also taking ownership and control of our actions. And when I took that a step further, it's being able to CHOOSE how we show up and participate in these moments. We are ABLE as parents to choose how we show up. We are able to choose our responses.

We might be actively breaking cycles and healing, but through the practices of being a RESPONSIVE parent, we are honoring where we want to go while taking accountability for our role, our choices and showing up in a way that feels more in line with the values that matter to us.

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

In this episode I talk about the 4 central buckets we need to be filling as a parent to maximize our child's readiness and abilities to comply with our requests without having to use force or coercive tactics to get them to do it.

I break down in detail these four buckets and give you examples on how to use them.

1. Power/Control

2. Connection/Attention

3. Regulation

4. Play

This is truly a game changing episode and I can't wait to hear how you utilize the lessons!

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

I am BEYOND excited for this conversation! I had the pleasure of speaking with Tanicia Baynes. She is a nervous system regulation expert, mom to identical twin 8-year olds and the woman behind the curtain of The Rooted Experience. In this episode we talk about what the nervous system is, how it informs our parenting reactions and responses and practical strategies you can start using today to help you through moments of dysregulation.

This is one you do NOT want to miss!

AND A BONUS!!!! Wednesday 3/20 within The ResponseABLE Parenting community group, Tanicia is going even further and breaking down common triggering parenting moments and giving us actionable regulation practices to use IN the moment and AFTER to replenish your nervous system.

Tanicia has created a pdf for you with 10 nervous system practices to utalize in parenting. You can grab that here!

Access my community here!

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Get your free guide here!

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join Today!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you!

We're talking about respect again! In this episode I give you a totally new way to look at the word. I believe that the demand for respect is just demanding our children limit the range of emotions and expressions in certain situations and around certain people. We are not teaching them a future beneficial skill when we simply demand "respect." We are simply teaching them that when a person is older, in a position of authority or power, you need to present yourself smaller, less than, etc in order to keep the balance of power in check. But if we flip this whole thing on its head, we can start to actually teach skills from our values and we serve our relationship in a much more efficient and connected way.

FREE GUIDE! Make sure you grab my Free Guide to Managing Meltdowns. 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! https://responseableparenting.ck.page/meltdown

COMMUNITY! And if you're ready for a little bit more than this podcast but not totally sure where to start, check out the ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group. You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies.

Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today!

BE A GUEST! If you would like to be a guest on the podcast and troubleshoot what's going on for you in real time, please fill out the podcast submission form. I look forward to connecting with you! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe0vzGusmyvlTJA3hO5qqZqBifUen2GEtIym6cZTgMZeURzSA/viewform?usp=sf_link